35. Aurelia
THIRTY-FIVE
I'd runthrough simulations of asteroid showers throughout my time at the academy, but I'd never expected flying through one to feel like this. I held my breath, trying to keep my hands as steady as possible, knowing that one minor error, one slip, and we would all be dead.
But no pressure, right?
An hour ago, we'd been tangled up in the sheets, Sylas sharing more about his past than I'd ever gotten before, and now… It was life or death.
I wasn't used to this kind of pressure.
Honestly, the only thing keeping me going right now was the laser focus they'd drilled into me at the academy. The intensity there helped me shut off my brain.
Don't think about him, I scolded my brain. There'd be time for that later. Time to think about the words I'd thought he was going to say to me.
Right now, I just needed to fly.
"That was intense,"I said, squeezing my eyes shut as I dropped onto a couch in the officer's lounge a few hours later.
"You were amazing, Aurelia. I told my brother he was an idiot for doubting you in the first place."
I chuckled. "But if he hadn't, who knows where we'd be?" I meant it as a joke, but as soon as it was out there, I knew I was serious. Sure, the first few weeks on the ship weren't as optimal as they could have been, but I'd found a place here.
And I'd found him.
"You love him." Kayle said, not quite a question, and I stopped twirling the piece of hair between my fingers. Looked up at her and nodded.
I did. Didn't I? I had for a while.
"Have you told him?"
"No." I sighed. "We were interrupted this morning. You know, asteroid shower and all that. This is the first moment I've had to breathe." And Sylas was still on the bridge, overseeing repairs.
Kayle gave me a pat on my shoulder. "Just make sure that this is what you want."
"What do you mean?" I blinked.
"Just… if you're going to leave, break his heart now. Don't prolong this and then leave him broken. I don't think he could survive that."
"I would never," I said, the words bubbling out of my throat. "I'm not going to leave him. Ever." There was more, too, but I wanted to say it to him, first. "How long have you known?"
She gave me a coy smile. "Awhile. You two aren't that subtle, you know? I caught you eye-fucking on the bridge at least ten times a day."
"Oh." My cheeks were most definitely a bright shade of pink. "Why didn't you say anything? Technically, we're not even supposed to be together."
"Superior officers have that rule because they don't want them taking advantage of their subordinates. But Sylas isn't taking advantage of you, is he?"
I shook my head. "No." No matter what happened, I believed in his feelings for me. That they were genuine. The way he touched me, took care of me, and spent time with me… How could they not be? Someone didn't just fake all of that intensity.
"Good. I think I would have had to kill him if he was. Maybe throw him into the brig."
I froze. "Do we actually have one?" I was pretty sure I'd explored every inch of the ship, but maybe I was wrong.
There was a mischievous glint in Kayle's eyes as she brushed past that comment. "And anyway, he's my brother. The only thing I stand to gain from enforcing the regulations is ruining our relationship and having to take over as captain myself. And honestly, I like my position. Maybe I'll be a starship captain one day, but not of the Paradise. He earned this."
"He did." I agreed, nodding my head. "Sylas told me everything. About your parents. How you two grew up. I'm so sorry no one was there for you."
She shook her head, squeezing my shoulder before heading towards the door. "That's where you're wrong. Because someone was always there for me. Him. But I think it's time that someone else is there for him. Do you know what I mean?"
I had a feeling I understood exactly what she was saying to me.
"Hey."
Sylas was at his desk, working on paperwork, and I leaned on the door frame. There was so much left unsaid—on both of our parts. If we hadn't been interrupted earlier, I knew I would have confessed all of it.
He looked up at me, swallowing roughly. "Everything okay?"
I took a deep breath. "Yeah. I talked to your sister."
"Kayle?" Sylas furrowed his brow. "What did she want?"
Padding over to his desk, I slid onto it. "She knows."
"About…"
"Us." I nodded. "Yeah."
"Fuck." He cursed under his breath. "How did she find out?"
"Well, apparently we aren't very slick about keeping our eyes off of each other on the bridge, Captain." I danced my fingers up his very firm chest.
"And? What did she say?"
I glossed over most of our conversation. We weren't there yet. Better to work up to it. "That she wasn't going to report us."
Sylas rested his hand on my thigh. "Oh?"
"She doesn't want to be the captain." I shook my head, emotion suddenly making my throat tight. "But maybe we should think about this. If this is what we really want. To be… together. I don't want you to lose your position because of me. You worked so hard for this, and I…" I swallowed roughly. "I can't be the reason you lose your dream."
"I don't need to think about it. I want you." He moved to position himself in between my thighs. "You could ask me a million times over, and I'd say the same thing. You're my everything, little star."
"Are you sure?" I whispered, my heartbeat practically thudding against my chest.
"Yes." He didn't even blink.
"Sylas," I murmured, my voice low.
"Fuck it," he muttered, cupping my face in between his hands. "I don't want to hide this anymore."
"I don't either," I whispered, feeling the words down to my core. Sneaking around was exhausting. It made me feel like we were guilty of something, and the only thing I was guilty of was how much I cared for this man.
"I'm pretty sure everyone else already knows anyway," he remarked, his lips barely inches from mine. A low chuckle slipped from his lips. "So who cares?"
"I guess that's one way to look at it," I joked. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I slid my hands into the back of his hair. "So, what do we do now?"
"Now, you stubborn woman, I'm going to kiss you. And then we'll figure out the rest of it together."
"Oh you are, are you?" I hummed, running my tongue over my lower lip.
He growled, taking my lips with his before tugging on that same lip with his teeth. His tongue swirled with mine, letting our saliva mix, and he let out a little groan?—
A knock sounded at the door, and Sylas didn't move, staying right where he was.
"Not again," he cursed, looking up at the ceiling. "We're cursed."
I giggled, and the door slid open. Kayle rushed in, her eyebrow raising at our position, but she didn't say anything. My cheeks pinked, and I looked away.
"Sylas." She sounded out of breath. "We have another problem."
"Of fucking course we do."
"We need you on the bridge."
"What is it now?" He growled, eyes narrowed. "One of these days, I'd like to finish this conversation without getting interrupted."
"It's fine," I said, running my fingers over the hair that had flopped onto his forehead. "We can finish it later." It was a promise I intended to keep.
He dipped his head, and I hopped off the desk, already heading back towards the bridge.