12. Sylas
TWELVE
A knock soundedat my door. Aurelia. She was here. I ran a hand through my hair. Was it normal to be this nervous?
I'd had women in my quarters before. Of course I had—I enjoyed sex. During my time with the federation, I'd had my fair share of one-night stands and casual relationships. Not that you'd know it now. The only company I currently enjoyed was my own hand, and admitting that she was all I saw when I closed my eyes in the shower was highly inappropriate.
But I didn't want anyone else, either.
Her long, reddish brown hair hung loose over her shoulders, the scent of shampoo still clinging to her skin like she'd just gotten out of the shower before coming to see me. I had to shut my eyes and count to ten. To remind myself of all the reasons I couldn't have her.
She wasn't here for that. Maybe my dick needed a reminder as much as my brain.
"Come in," I finally grunted, subtly adjusting myself after she passed me.
Her eyes were wide as she scanned my room. "This place is… wow."
"You like it?" I flashed my teeth before reminding myself that I wasn't flirting. That wasn't what this was. I cleared my throat. "Perks of being the captain." One of which was having the largest suite on the starship, complete with my own enormous bathroom and sitting area.
She moved to stare out the large window. Much like the bridge, I had my private view into the vastness of space. I leaned against the wall, crossing my arms over my chest as I observed her expression. The look of childlike wonder as she stared out at the stars.
"It's incredible." She looked over at me. "I'm not sure I'd ever want to leave."
"Mmm." My lips curled up into a smirk. "I don't." Moving, I sat down on the large plush couch in the sitting area, patting the spot beside me. There was a large screen in front of me—one I used to watch movies and stream shows, though it also boasted the ship's state-of-the-art artificial intelligence system.
Anything I could ever wish to know, all at my command.
"What now?" Aurelia asked, shifting her bag before sitting next to me. She left plenty of space between our bodies, though her scent hadn't left me. Every time I breathed, that sweet smell invaded my senses. I hated it as much as I loved it.
"Start at the beginning," I instructed, draping my hands in my lap. "I want to know everything."
"Everything?" she repeated, eyes wide.
"Mhm. If we're going to do this, I need to know all of it."
"Right." She pulled a flash drive out of her bag, running her fingers over the edges. "How much do you know about my dad?"
Everything. When was it acceptable for me to admit that I'd once had his poster on my wall? That I'd been the biggest fan boy when I was a kid, and her dad had been my inspiration for joining the fleet? When he'd gone missing, I'd felt that loss like I had with my own parents. Not that I'd ever admitted it to anyone.
"Enough," I grunted out.
"Right." She inhaled sharply. "Well, when I was twelve, he was sent out on a mission similar to this one." I nodded. I knew that. Almost everyone did. "It was a small crew, and one of the first ships experimenting with jump technology. Though it couldn't travel anywhere near as fast as the speeds the Paradise does."
"The Departure." In its day, it had still been an impressive ship, though technology had advanced vastly since then.
"Right. My dad was so excited. I'd begged for months before the mission to go with him, but families weren't allowed." Her face fell. "He had to leave mom and I behind, because the ship was too small. It was only supposed to be a six month mission, but…"
But he'd never come home.
"Hey." I placed my hand on her forearm. "It's okay." If she'd been on that ship… I couldn't even bear to think about it.
Aurelia sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. "I know that whatever happened out there couldn't have been good. That it's been thirteen years, and there's likely not a single clue left. But I just can't help but wonder. To hope maybe, if I find the ship…" That she'd find her dad. She shook her head before pulling something out of her pocket. "I just want closure. To know what happened. This drive has all the data the UGSF had from the S.S. Departure. Its intended flight-plan, the last location it pinged before going silent, all the communication logs and data transfers the federation had achieved… Everything." Aurelia sat it onto the table in front of us, sliding it towards me.
"And?" I waited for her to continue, even though I could guess where she was going with this.
"There's a reason I'm here, Captain. A reason I requested to be on this ship." Her eyes squeezed shut. "We're following that same path. Albeit, much faster, considering how technology has improved. But when I found out the Paradise would go through the same part of space where my dads had last been detected, I knew I had to be here. Whatever it took."
That explained her eagerness, and how stubborn she'd been.
"What were you going to do if I left you behind?" I pursed my lips. "If I kicked you off my ship before we ever left the station?"
She bit her lower lip. "I don't know. It was a contingency I hadn't prepared for. To be honest, even though I'd heard the rumors about you, I didn't think you'd be that much of an asshole." Aurelia shrank back. "Sorry, Captain."
"Don't apologize. You're right. I was an asshole." My fingers instinctively went to my forehead, where I could feel a small crease forming between my eyebrows. "Probably deserve that."
"Still. I don't know. I would have figured something else out, I guess. Always do."
Without a doubt, I believed that. In the last few weeks, I'd seen her work through numerous problems—often, for things out of her own job purview.
"Anyway, it doesn't matter," she continued, "Because I'm here. And I've been looking on the scanners, checking the coordinates, and, well, you saw what I was working on last night."
"I did." And it all made so much more sense now. "So, you think you'll find the ship?"
"I don't know. For all I know, it could be nothing. Just inconsistencies in space or discrepancies in the data. But it could be something, too. And that's what I want to find out. My dad taught me to be curious—to never stop asking questions. To let this go just feels like I'm dishonoring his memory." Aurelia fidgeted with her hands in her lap. "So I have to try."
I nodded, picking up the flash drive. "Let's see what we can find together, then."
"Are you sure?" She sounded hesitant. "If the federation finds out what I'm doing, using government resources to find out what happened, we could end up in hot water."
"So we won't let them find out." Because now that she brought me into the fold, I wanted her to be successful.
And I didn't want her to have to do it alone. I knew what that felt like too well. At least I had my sister. Aurelia was alone. The only person she had left was her mom, and she'd left her behind on Earth to come on my ship.
"You're not alone anymore, Aurelia," I said, reaching over to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. Something I'd been trying to resist doing all night. Touching her was a temptation, and one I couldn't avoid anymore.
"Thank you," she said as her cheeks pinkened. "You don't know how much this means to me."
I shook my head, not saying anything else. Because I had a feeling I did.
Getting up, I plugged the USB drive into the computer unit and instructed the AI to run the data through its software. Aurelia's eyes widened as everything plotted itself out on the screen, a perfect display of all the data.
"Woah. This is amazing."
A 3-D model of her father's ship was projected from the table, and she ran her fingers through the hologram.
"This technology is something I'd only ever dreamed of working with," she admitted.
"Me too," I said with a chuckle. Becoming the captain of a starship had afforded me more opportunities than I'd ever dreamed of. "I never thought I'd be here, honestly."
"A captain?" Aurelia asked, her gaze darting to me.
I dipped my head in answer. "Don't get me wrong, I worked my ass off for this commission. But if you asked me as a kid if I thought I'd be here now, I probably would have told you no."
My childhood wasn't something I wanted to talk about, and it surprised even me that I'd brought it up to her. It wasn't fun to dredge up, let alone linger on. I didn't want her sympathy or pity. It happened. We'd moved on.
"That's fair," Aurelia hummed, not pressuring me for more details.
"What about you? If your father hadn't disappeared, do you still think you'd be here?"
"On this ship?" Her brows furrowed. "Probably not. But working for the Federation? Probably. I wanted to follow in my dad's footsteps." Her eyes drifted shut, a serene expression transforming her face like she was imagining an alternate life. "I always liked to imagine us working together. Maybe it would have made up for all the times he left me behind."
Being left—that I could relate to.
"Hmm." I turned my attention back to the screen.
"What? Did you find something?" Aurelia perked up, turning her attention to the screen.
"Yes, and no." I squinted, looking at the data in front of us. Something was wrong. "See these numbers?" I asked, pointing at the string. "I don't get it. Why were they heading there?" And if the numbers were accurate, so slowly. Something must have been wrong with the ship.
"I don't know. They never told me what the purpose of my dad's mission was. A lot of stuff was classified." She rolled her eyes. "Even now, it's like one giant coverup."
But what were they covering up? I frowned. "That doesn't make sense. There shouldn't be anything there." I pointed at the system where they'd been adrift.
"Unless the star charts are wrong."
"Then why send us on a nearly identical flight path?"
"They adjusted the course, though, just slightly." Aurelia pointed at the line. "We were supposed to go here, but I've been letting the ship drift slightly off track." She winced. "Please don't fire me." A pause as her eyes connected with mine. "Again."
A laugh worked free from my lips. "It's a little late for that, don't you think?" I shook my head. "Besides, I'm not going to fire you. Whatever you've uncovered is bigger than us."
"Really?"
I nodded. "But I think we should keep this quiet for now. See what we can investigate on our own."
Aurelia pointed at the flashing sensor on the map. "These are the coordinates I tagged where my dad's vessel was last seen. There's a moon close by—Planet XV30041's. There's a chance…" she trailed off.
"That they crashed there." I finished. Crossing my arms, I rubbed at my jaw with my index finger. "Yes, it's possible." Her eyes lit up, and I hated to destroy that spark of optimism, but—"There's a chance there's nothing there, too."
"I know." She sighed.
"It could have been a meteor storm, or the ship's engines failed. We don't know if they could have ever made it to the surface."
"But we should try, right?" Her tone was pleading, and I could hear the hope in it. How her heart was set on this. "Please."
This time, it was my turn to sigh. "When we get closer, we'll be able to scan the planet for activity. If there's anything human-made there, we'll be able to find it."
"Okay." She worried her lower lip into her mouth. "What if…"
"Hm?"
"What if I did all of this for nothing?" Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.
"Hey." I frowned, sliding closer to her. "You can't think like that."
"I know, it's just…" Her eyes were glassy. "I don't know what I'll do. Maybe coming here was a mistake. I just…"
"It wasn't." The words were practically a growl. "You're a damn good pilot, Aurelia. Even if we don't find out anything about what happened to your father, none of that will change. And I know, either way, he'd be so impressed. Look at what you've done. How much you've accomplished."
She sucked in a breath, rubbing at her eyes. "I know. I know. This is dumb. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize." I reached out, squeezing her hand, wanting to reassure her.
Was it an inappropriate touch? I couldn't find it in me to care, not when she looked so close to tears. She had to know, didn't she? How amazing she was?
She looked up at me, surprise in her eyes.
My eyes darted down to her lips. Pink and full—how soft would they feel against mine? If I slid my hands into her hair, bringing our mouths together, would she let me? Did she want this as badly as I did?
"Aurelia…"
She drew in a jagged breath.
A warning alarm sounded, making me jump off the couch. Fuck, what was I thinking? I couldn't be touching her. Couldn't kiss her, for fuck's sake. No matter how much I wanted it.
"I should go check on that." I muttered, heading towards the door.
"Right." She stood, fidgeting with her hands. "Good night, Captain."
She said the word like she needed a reminder of who I was.
Her captain.
Maybe I needed the reminder, too.