Chapter 9

CHAPTER9

It had been three days since I last saw Evren. He left my room so swiftly after his cruel words, and I hadn’t seen him since.

And every part of me was yearning to see him, to feel him.

But I couldn’t think about Evren and the sinful way he had touched me when I was standing across from Gavril and the queen.

“The ball is in two days’ time,” the queen barked at the seamstress who was pinning fabric along my body. Her hands trembled as she worked, and I didn’t blame her. I had barely been able to look the queen in the eye for fear that she would know what I had done. “Everyone who matters in our kingdom will be here, and the Starblessed must be the most desirable person in the room. We want everyone to want what belongs to us and know that our family will be the ones to strengthen our kingdom.”

My gaze met Gavril’s in the mirror, but he didn’t say a word. He was simply looking upon me as if he knew what his mother said was right. I doubted Gavril ever spoke against the woman.

I wouldn’t have either if it wasn’t for the lack of fabric of the dress. “Couldn’t we add a bit more fabric?” I kept my gaze on Gavril. “While the dress is beautiful, I feel completely exposed.”

The dress was fitted against my body in pure white silk that left little to the imagination. Thin straps caressed each shoulder and slid down my back to meet the fabric where it hung just above the curve of my backside. A piece of chiffon that was covered in small clear gemstones wrapped around my chest and fell over my upper arms and upper back.

It did very little to cover and only seemed to draw more attention to my body that was exposed.

And I knew that was exactly what the queen wanted.

“That’s not an option, Starblessed. It is imperative that everyone sees your mark.” She didn’t even look up at me as she spoke. She was staring straight at my back.

I nodded once and clenched my fists at my sides. It didn’t matter what I said or what I thought. I was only here to be viewed and to be used for a power I wasn’t even sure I possessed.

“Can we have a moment, please?”

I searched for Gavril in the mirror, and he was still staring straight at me.

“This dress must be finished.” The queen was still fussing over the fabric, but she stopped when Gavril spoke again.

“My betrothed and I require a moment alone.” He finally looked away from me to focus on his mother. “Surely the dress can spare a few minutes.”

I watched as anger flashed across her face, but she hid it quickly.

“Of course.” She headed toward the door with the seamstress behind her, and I held my breath until the click of the door proved that Gavril and I were alone. And even then, it almost felt impossible to breathe.

“I’m sorry.” The prince was still watching me through the mirror as he spoke. “I know that my mother can be overwhelming.”

“It’s okay.” I looked away from him and back toward the door. “To be honest, everything about this is overwhelming.”

He stood and slowly made his way behind me, and I tensed as he got within arm’s reach from me. He noticed the movement immediately.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Adara.” He stared at me over my shoulder before slowly lifting his hand and pressing his fingers to my bare shoulder.

My mark sparked to life under his touch, but it felt dull in comparison to what I had experienced with Evren. I wondered if he knew, if he could sense his brother’s touch against my skin that was supposed to belong to him and him alone.

“Do you trust me?”

His brother had asked the same of me just days ago, and my chest ached with how much more I trusted Evren. His dark blue eyes were soft and pleading, and I knew that in another life, I could have easily fallen for this man. But fate was cruel, and I craved another.

“I don’t trust anyone, Gavril.”

His gaze dropped to my back, and he stared at it for a long time before his hand slowly moved from my shoulder and down my spine. It felt like he was appraising every inch of me as his hand slid down my skin.

“You really are amazing.” His touch was a whisper, a promise of what was to happen between us, and I couldn’t stop the dread that filled me as thoughts of his brother flashed through my mind.

“I’m simply a girl born with a mark on her skin that everyone worships. I have done nothing to be called amazing.”

He looked back up at me in the mirror before he let his hand drop from my skin. “I disagree.”

He slowly moved around me, and I held my breath until the crowned prince was standing directly in front of me. I stared up at him and waited for whatever it was he needed to say.

“It isn’t your mark that makes you so exquisite, Adara. There is just something about you that I can’t look away from.”

I swallowed as his words washed over me, and my stomach dipped as his gaze slid to my lips. The man that stood in front of me was so different from the crowned prince he became under his mother’s thumb.

I didn’t know which version of him was real.

I didn’t want to like either one.

“When they had told me I was betrothed to the Starblessed, I hadn’t expected you.” He lifted a piece of my hair in his fingers and watched as it slipped through his hand.

“What did you expect?”

“Someone who I would be bound to in law and blood only. I didn’t imagine that I would want you in the way that I do.”

“You want what my blood is supposed to hold for you.” I straightened my shoulders and tried not to let his words affect me. He was the future king and my future husband, but even as his words made my stomach tighten, I wished it were Evren standing before me.

“No, Adara.” He shook his head gently before his eyes met mine. “I want you. I lie in my room at night thinking of you and you alone. I fantasize about what it will be like to truly touch you, for you to call my name out to the gods.”

“Gavril,” I whispered his name, and it sounded far too intimate.

I wanted to tell him to stop, but I saw the pleasure in his gaze as he watched me. He took a step closer to me, eliminating any bit of space that I had been clinging to, and his chest pressed against mine. My breathing rushed in and out of me, and my breasts pressed against him with each deep pull into my lungs.

“Gods, I wish not to leave an inch of your body undiscovered. It will be for me to worship, and I will worship you, Adara.” He lifted his hand and buried his fingers into my hair at the base of my scalp. “You will want for nothing once you belong to me.”

He pressed his nose against my jaw and inhaled deeply. I turned away from him as I tried to catch my breath, and I hated that I wasn’t pushing him away. I didn’t have a choice, but there was also a part of me that didn’t want to.

I felt desperate to want Gavril in the way I yearned for his brother. If I had, then thoughts of running away would have slipped through my fingers easily. The overwhelming longing to hurt the people who destroyed my family would have been washed away and replaced by my guilt for wanting my enemy.

But I felt neither of those things when he pressed a soft kiss to my neck. His skin against mine only seemed to strengthen my resolve that this wasn’t the life I was meant for. Even if Gavril was handsome and the scent of him alluring. There was a vast difference between the way he was making me feel right now and the way my chest ached with uneasiness.

Gavril may have wanted my flesh and my blood, but he was still the son of the queen. He was still willing to keep me here in a prison while he took what he wanted from me. He had told me so in his own words, and I wasn’t foolish enough to forget that.

“Is that what you want, Starblessed?” His hand tightened in my hair, and I hated that name so damn much.

But I would not allow Gavril to know either of my truths. “Yes.” I nodded and the tug of his hand in my hair brought out the smallest bite of pain. “Of course, that’s what I want.”

He let out a small, deep sigh against my skin, and his hand tightened even more. I could feel the tension radiating off his body as he held me in his hands, and I knew that if I didn’t stop this, he was going to press his mouth against me once more.

He wanted to do more than that, and even though I had so willingly allowed his brother to touch me only a few days before, he was the only one to ever do so. The thought of Gavril doing the same made my stomach drop.

A loud knock on the door had Gavril’s gaze flying up toward the sound, but he didn’t release me from his hold as the door opened.

“Yes, brother?” Gavril gritted through his teeth, and my spine straightened as my gaze connected with Evren in the mirror.

He could clearly see everything that was happening in front of him. The way Gavril’s body was pressed against mine, his hold in my hair, the curve of my neck that appeared so ready for his mouth.

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him this wasn’t what it looked like, but it was. Gavril was to be my husband, and the way he was holding me was the exact reminder I needed that I was his as I stared at his brother.

I was his, and the only options I had to change that also meant I would never be Evren’s.

“Father is asking for you.” Evren avoided meeting my gaze, and I let my own fall to the floor as he spoke.

I tried to remind myself of the cruel words he spoke as he left my room with traces of me still on his fingers, but it was no use. My body didn’t care about what he had said. The moment he walked into the room, it sparked to life in a way Gavril could never do.

“What does he want?” His hand tightened again, and this time, I couldn’t stop my wince as pain bit into my scalp.

Evren noticed. Of course, he had. His dark gaze finally met mine in the mirror, and he looked absolutely murderous.

“There are whispers of a new threat from the Blood Court. He has gathered his council to discuss our options.”

“And are the whispers true?”

Evren looked back to his brother, and I couldn’t place the look that glazed over his face. “They came from legitimate sources, but I am not at my post, so I don’t know the validity of what has been told. But this isn’t something we should be discussing in front of the Starblessed.” He nodded toward me without truly looking at me again. “Let her finish picking out a dress for the ball while we meet with the king.”

Gavril looked down at me as if he had almost forgotten that I was still pressed against his body in a hold he had yet to let me out of. His hand loosened in my hair, and he took a step back.

“Excuse me, Adara.” He dipped into the slightest bow. “Duty calls, but we shall finish this conversation later.”

He smiled softly, and I tried my hardest to return it. But I could feel Evren’s eyes on me. I didn’t look back up at him, but it didn’t matter. I sensed his gaze deeper than any touch from Gavril.

The crowned prince walked past me, heading in the direction of his brother, and I gasped down a deep breath.

“I will head to the council room.” He was no longer speaking to me but straightening his shirt as he spoke to Evren. “Please make sure that Adara makes it back to her room before you join us.”

“Of course.” Evren bowed his head to his younger brother, and the sight was unsettling. My chest ached as I watched him, and I knew that Evren wasn’t born to bow to anyone.

I stepped away from the mirror and slowly lifted the jeweled chiffon from my shoulders and placed it on the table with the rest of the seamstress’s belongings.

“I need a moment to change.” I moved behind the small divider that was placed in the corner of the room and slowly pulled the fabric away from my skin. I was careful not to ruin any of the work the seamstress had done. There were pins and small marks of fabric chalk along the length of the dress where she intended to make it tighter.

“There’s not much need for you to hide behind the screen.” Evren’s voice was calm and casual, and I hated the sound of it as he spoke. “It would appear that you don’t have much left to hide from either of us.”

I let the fabric fall to the floor in a pool and pressed my arm against my breasts as I tried to calm my heart. “Trust me, prince. I have plenty to hide from you both.”

He scoffed, and I hurried to pull my dress over my hips and up my arms. The fabric fell against my upper arms and along my breasts, and accentuated parts of my body I wasn’t accustomed to showing. I reached behind me, grasping for the ribbon that held the dress together, but it was out of my reach.

“Could you call for Eletta?” I grumbled even as I still tried to gain hold of the fabric.

“What could you possibly need your lady’s maid for?” He chuckled without a trace of humor. “You really are getting used to the royal life, aren’t you?”

I cursed under my breath and held the dress against my breasts. “If you must know, you ass. I cannot lace up my dress. It’s impossible. I’ve tried.”

He was quiet for a long moment before I heard his movement. I let out a low breath. I was thankful that he was going to get her. With Eletta here, that meant he would leave. He would leave, and I would try anything to distract myself from thoughts of him.

“Let me help you.” Evren came into view around the screen, and I quickly took a step back.

“This is improper. You should call for Eletta.”

He smirked, and that one small look made my stomach flip in a way that Gavril couldn’t dream of. He gripped my upper arm in his hand and forced me to turn so that my back was to him. “I had my fingers buried inside you a few days ago. I think I can handle tying up your dress.”

I gasped at his words, and I swore he moved closer to me.

“Unless you’d prefer that I help you out of it instead. The door is still open, but gods, could you imagine the rush of trying not to be caught while the bastard son of the king was buried deep inside you.”

I jerked away from his touch and stared at him over my shoulder. “You cannot say things like that to me.”

“Why not?” He ran his thumb over his bottom lip as he devoured my skin with his gaze. “Would you prefer that I call my brother back and let him whisper such words instead? Is that what he was doing when I entered? Was he promising you that he would do things to your body that would make you wish for the rest of the world to disappear?”

“Why do you care what your brother was whispering to me? I am his betrothed, and you would do well to remember that.”

That only made him smile wider, and this time when he reached out for me, my mark buzzed with pleasure and my knees threatened to buckle. He wrapped his arm around my chest as he forced my back to press against him.

“Do you remember that, princess?” He grazed his nose over the back of my neck and my eyes fluttered closed. “I can scent how badly you want me. I don’t think my dear brother could say the same. Poor crowned prince of Citlali destined to marry a woman who is getting wet at the thought of his brother’s cock.”

I attempted to jerk away from him and his harsh words, but he refused to let me go. His arm tightened around me, and his breath fell from his lips in a harsh rhythm against my neck.

“Why are you so cruel?”

“This isn’t cruelty, princess.” He chuckled softly, and the sound felt like a warning. “This is me doing everything in my power not to steal you away from this place so that I can keep you for myself.”

“Do you want to keep me?” My words were desperate and full of longing, but I couldn’t stop them.

“No,” he growled, but his arm hauled me even closer against him, and I could feel how badly he wanted me against my backside. “I want to rid myself of this longing I have for you. I wish to fuck you out of my system so that I can kneel before you like the rest of the kingdom without dreaming of what you taste like between your thighs.”

A shudder racked through my body, but I forced myself out of his hold. I shouldn’t have been aroused by the words he spoke. He wanted to use my body then hand me back to his brother like he had never wanted me at all.

That thought was so simple for him, so true, but even though my chest ached at the thought, I still had to press my thighs together to stop the deep ache that had formed there.

“I told you to get Eletta.” I took a small step away from him.

“And yet, I don’t take orders from you.” He adjusted his pants, and my gaze flew to the movement. “You’re not the queen of this kingdom yet.”

“And when I am?” I arched my eyebrow, and his dark eyes felt like they were holding back a thousand years’ worth of words unsaid.

“What, princess?”

“Are you to take orders from me then?” I didn’t know why I was asking him this. I wanted him to leave. To allow me to get back to my room and submerge myself in the bath while I tried to recreate the feeling he had caused in me with my own fingers.

“I doubt it.”

“Isn’t that treason?” I adjusted my dress against my chest and his gaze fell to my breast. He reached forward, one knuckle trailing along the exposed skin at the seam of my dress, and I didn’t dare move.

“Turn around, princess.” His voice was low and lacked the normal control that he usually possessed.

I did as he said, and I gasped when his fingers grazed my mark. He pulled the ribbons tightly behind me, tightening the dress against my body, and I dropped my hands from my chest as I felt him tying the strings into a knot.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I’m not sure how to answer.” His fingers fell away from the ribbon and they skimmed down the sides of my back until they settled on my hips. “Every thought I have of you is treasonous, the way my hands ache to touch you, deceitful. Even my dreams make me a traitor of my own kingdom.”

“Then stop,” I whispered as I straightened my shoulders. The way he spoke of me as if I was a poison that was infecting every inch of him.

“That’s the thing, princess,” he whispered before his lips pressed against my bare shoulder. “I don’t want to.”