Chapter 8

eight

"Sometimes it seems more pleasant to live in hopes of something better coming than to witness the realities of life."

~Earl Douglass, quoting his wife, Pearl

S UNDAY , J ULY 9, 1916 · D INOS AUR N ATIONAL M ONUMENT

All the joy of the Sunday service and meeting fellow believers had evaporated. Devin couldn't believe the mess in front of them. Toolsboxes were overturned, their contents strewn across the rocks and dirt. The tent flaps fluttered in the wind, revealing the chaos inside as well. It was as if a tornado had cut through camp and scattered anything that wasn't pinned down throughout the quarry.

Then there was the paint. A horrible brownish-red smeared across the cream canvas, spelling out cruel phrases. Devin clenched his jaw as his gaze traced the phrase, Go away! Anger rolled in his stomach, and he turned from Eliza, trying to hide just how angry he was. On her behalf. What was their world coming to that vandalism was an acceptable way to show your disagreement with someone?

Lord, I know You tell us to pray for our enemies. I need Your help to do that now. It's hard when enemies seem to come from the very place that is supposed to be about loving You and others.

The vandals had to be those women who had lambasted them yesterday. How could people who called themselves believers do such a thing?

Then again, Eliza had been worried that rumors would fly after yesterday's debacle. What if someone had heard the story and decided to do this? It seemed far-fetched but not beyond the realm of possibility. At this point, he really didn't trust anyone. How could he leave Eliza here in the midst of all this?

He knew all too well the stories of the lengths people went to sabotage one another in paleontology. Could this just be another example of that? If so ... who would do it? Maybe he should speak to Mr. Douglass about it.

Devin made his way back to Eliza. Her shoulders were hunched tight, her lips pinched. But it was the sheen of tears in her eyes that broke his heart.

"Eliza..." He touched her elbow. She was trembling. Without another word he slipped his arm around her shoulders, and she turned into him, face pressed into his waistcoat. After a moment, she pulled away and swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Someone really doesn't like us, do they?" Her laugh was shaky.

Devin offered her his handkerchief. "Someone is a coward."

Eliza wiped her face and shook her head. "I've had a lot of struggles in my chosen profession. I always knew it wouldn't be easy, but the sense of purpose I felt ... It always seemed God-given. But now..." Her gaze flicked back to the word blasphemer splashed on the side of a tent as she pointed to it. "What ... what if I'm wrong?"

Devin shoved his hands into his pockets. Never in his life had she thought she'd misheard the Lord in regard to her passion for His creation. The confident smile, the joy that usually shone from her face when she was here at the quarry ... all of that was gone. How could she even think that these people were acting on God's behalf?

"You can't let the crazy actions of deluded people shake your foundation."

Eliza shook her head, refusing to meet his gaze. "You don't understand." She walked toward a pile of empty toolboxes. Devin followed her, picking up various chisels, brushes, and shovels out of the dirt. They worked in silence for a while, making their way around the camp. The longer they worked, the more Eliza's statement pecked at him.

She said he didn't understand. Maybe that was true. He didn't face a lot of opposition in his job at the University. Unless it was an old-timer resistant to a schedule change. Some had gotten surly when new books were proposed for curriculum. But no one had ever called him a blasphemer.

He picked up a hammer and twisted it around in his hands. He'd seen one like this in Eliza's grip hundreds of times as she tapped against a chisel, working to free a fossil from the earth. The pleasure she felt in exploring treasures of the earth was contagious. Even if he didn't share her passion for the work, he could share her happiness. And she'd taken so much of the criticism leveled at her in stride. Even when several scientists at the museum protested her hiring, Eliza merely smiled and worked twice as hard to show she was smart enough and qualified for the job.

Devin tossed the hammer in the toolbox and carried it to the wagon where they'd been stashing all the tools. First, the tools that were stolen. Now this. And not even a day apart. He slid the toolbox into the bed and then walked toward the tent on the far left side of the quarry. He'd seen Eliza enter it a few minutes before.

She was there, bent over the square table in the middle, furiously scribbling something on a piece of paper. She looked up with a small smile, then went back to her paper. "We will need buckets, turpentine, rags, brushes, and a few other things to get the worst of the paint off the tents. A couple can be sewn back together, the others will need replacing. I needed to write it down before I forgot."

Devin nodded. "I think we picked up all of the tools."

"Good. If we missed any, the men will know when they go to dig tomorrow morning since they'd just compared the inventory with what was still here last night. Thank you for your help, Devin. I know this wasn't what you had in mind for your Sunday afternoon." Eliza folded the paper and slipped it into the pocket of her skirt, along with the pencil.

"I'm happy to help however you need me to, you know that."

She continued as if he hadn't spoken. "I need to go out to Mr. Sanders and see if he has some of these supplies available. If not, I'll check the general store."

"Sounds good. I can—"

"No, Devin. It's fine. I can get this clean by myself."

Devin rocked back on his heels. "What do you mean, by yourself?"

"Just what I said." She finally looked at him and Devin's heart sank.

Her face was free of any emotion. His best friend was retreating into a shell and trying to block him out of her pain. Well, he wouldn't let her.

"Don't shut me out. I know you're hurting." He kept his voice low and soothing. "You don't have to face this alone."

Eliza shook her head. "I do, though. All my passion and ambition have brought me to this point. What if it's some sort of sign that I've missed the Lord? That I'm not actually where I'm supposed to be?" Frustration laced every word. "How can I honor Jesus and say I'm following Him when even people in the church think I'm some kind of irreverent woman, rebellious in the face of God?" She crossed her arms, looking out of the open tent flap at the quarry.

Lord, help me. Help Eliza. How can I encourage her that You have her in the very palm of Your hand?

He rubbed his face, hoping words of hope and comfort would come. But his mind was blank.

"See? Even you can't argue with me." Eliza gave him a sad smile. "I think maybe I've been too stubborn in my pursuit and haven't listened to God. It's time to figure out what the Lord really wants me to do. Grandfather has made plenty of comments over the years, and Grandmama pushed against me almost every step of the way."

He winced, and his heart clenched at the mention of her grandparents. He walked toward her and grabbed her hands, holding them tight in his. His voice cracked. "Eliza, I have watched you dig in the dirt and come to know Jesus more deeply through studying His creation. You have a God-given love of this earth that saturates everything you do. When you talk about it to people, your face lights up. They do as well."

Tears slipped down her cheeks. She shook her head and opened her mouth, but Devin freed a hand and covered it. Her eyes widened. But he refused to back down.

"How many men and women had trials and tribulations when they followed the will of God for their lives? Thousands, millions throughout history! Think of those who died for Jesus because they loved Him and believed in Him. I'm sure they felt discouraged and were tempted to quit because so many people opposed them. Even believers who haven't died for Jesus still face struggles and persecution." He dropped his hand to her shoulder. "I know you've faced battles in your work before. Most of them simply because you're a woman. This is just one more battle. And not just as a woman, but as a child of God. Don't give up."

Eliza closed her eyes for a moment. Had he pushed too far? Been too preachy? At last, she opened her eyes and sighed. "But how am I preaching the gospel, Devin? How is anyone learning about Jesus and His love through me digging in the dirt?" She stepped back and his hand fell back to his side.

"That's true." He tossed around how to answer the enormous question she'd put before him. "But think about all these tourists who come to see these bones. All the visitors who came to the museum. Think about the men at this dig who hear you talk about the glory of God's creation every day. Your enthusiasm and love for God and what He has made is infectious, Eliza. And I pray when you get alone with the Lord, He will remind you of these things as only He can. Promise me you will wait on Him and not make any hasty decisions." Devin smiled at his friend, praying she would be encouraged.

She chewed the corner of her lip, a sure sign she was at least considering what he'd said. Finally she nodded and gave him the first genuine smile he'd seen since they encountered the mess. "I promise. And thank you." Eliza leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for being my friend."

Devin nodded, his cheek burning where her lips had brushed his skin, and his heart sinking with the reminder of what he still needed to tell her. He pushed the thought aside. Right now, they had a mess to finish cleaning. "Let's go get those supplies."

Eliza nodded and they made their way out of the quarry back to the small wagon. Devin glanced over his shoulder at the camp and those horrible words still blazing in the sun. Lord, I hope Eliza will hear Your truth over the loud lies of the devil.

After a quick change of clothes, gathering what supplies they could find and a lunch of what they could grab to eat in the wagon, Devin and Eliza were back at the quarry. The afternoon flew by as they baked under the hot sun, but he was determined to help her move past the vandalism.

Earl and his wife had helped for several hours, but it was clear the event had affected them both as well.

Once the last tent was set to rights, Devin went in search of Eliza and found her sitting in the dirt surrounded by tool chests with the inventory list in her lap.

"Hi."

She looked up at him with a dirt-streaked face. "Hi." The single word held the weight of the world.

"A lot of tools were damaged, weren't they?"

"Yeah." The sigh she released with her answer was long. "I'm determined not to shed any more tears over it, but after yesterday's theft and then today..." She shook her head. "I'd like to go hide for a while."

He squatted down beside her and placed his elbows on his knees. "What else needs to be done?"

"Nothing. We've done all we can do. Earl is going to shut the quarry down for a bit. No more visitors. They're going to speak to Mr. Carnegie and the authorities about ways to keep the site more secure, and a lot of the tools will have to be shipped to us."

Devin turned to look toward the sunset. "I hope they can find whoever did this and prevent them from doing it again."

"Me too." She scribbled something on the paper and then got to her feet, brushing all the dirt off her. "It looks like I have a few days off from my work here, which will be good. I've been wanting to show you the Meyer ranch." The smile that appeared was good to see, even if it was forced. "Who knows? Maybe you'll help me find the legendary fossils that the original Mr. Meyer said were there."

"That sounds great. Another adventure." As they walked back to the wagon, he knew.

It was time.

"What? No sarcastic reply?" She poked him and a real smile lit up her face.

He didn't say anything until after he helped her up to her seat. "Eliza..."

She studied him, the brief moment of joy slipping from her face. "What is it?"

He pulled the envelope from his pocket and gripped it tight. "There's no easy way to tell you this. No matter how hard I tried to find the right words ... there are no right ones for a time like this."

She flicked her gaze down to the envelope and back up to his face. "What is it?" The hesitancy in her eyes gripped him like a vise.

He hated that he was about to bring her pain and heartache, but he had to tell her. "The day before I left, your grandmother summoned me to the manor. I went to see her, and she gave me this to give to you. I've tried to wait for the right time to tell you, but the longer I wait, the more I realize there is no correct or good time." He set the letter down and gripped both of her hands. "Your grandfather passed away that morning."

She gasped and stared at him as her head slowly shook back and forth.

"Your grandmother didn't want to tell you via telegram. And she didn't wish for you to find out via the papers. That's why she asked me to be the one to tell you."

Eliza trembled and tears pooled in her eyes. "He's gone?"

"I'm so sorry." He barely dipped his chin in answer.

Her grip on his hands tightened. "I can't believe it." The tears streamed down, leaving white paths in the dirt on her cheeks. Her trembling increased. "Could you..." She bit her lip. "Would you ... read the letter to me, please?" She sucked in a huge breath and blinked several times as the tears multiplied.

He released her hands and picked up the envelope and opened it. More than anything, he wanted to hold her right now. He pulled out the single sheet of paper and unfolded it. As he held it in his left hand, he reached his right hand over and covered both of her hands again. She latched on and squeezed—holding on as if her life depended on it.

He inhaled and cleared his throat.

"Dearest Eliza,

Your precious grandfather closed his eyes moments ago. I know his last breath will be coming soon. He developed a chest cold two days ago, and when he finally allowed me to summon the doctor last night, the news wasn't good. I haven't slept a wink since then, wanting to spend every moment he had left by his side. The shock of his departure hasn't hit me yet, and I'm sure that great tears will be forthcoming, so that's why I wanted to write you now.

He loved you so, my darling. Our greatest gift has been to raise you.

Last night he told me that he could die a happy man knowing that you were carrying on the Mills legacy. That you were a fine paleontologist, and he hoped you have the chance to share and teach with thousands of others about this science that you love so much.

With that, he added several things to his will. One addition is that he is giving a substantial sum to the Carnegie Institute for the Hall of Dinosaurs. He wants you to thrive and prosper with your work.

The rest of the details can wait until you return home, but please finish your work there this summer. It will take me some time to grieve my wonderful husband, and that is something I wish to do alone. You know how much I need my privacy, especially during difficult times. It says nothing about how much I miss you and love you, simply that I need to tread through my emotions with God alone as my guide. Navigating this life without your grandfather will take some getting used to since I have never been on my own.

I will look forward to your return at the end of the summer with eagerness and great joy, my dear.

With all my love, Grandmama"

T HURSDAY , J ULY 13, 1916 · A DAMS F ARM

Eliza's pillow was soaked with her tears, and no matter how hard she tried, she had barely slept since she heard the news. She'd never suffered this kind of loss before. When her parents died, she'd been too young to understand.

The thought of never seeing her grandfather again, never hearing his voice, never feeling his whiskers against her forehead as he hugged her was almost more than she could bear. What must Grandmama be feeling? They'd been married for fifty years.

As strong and courageous and stubborn as her grandmother was, she deeply loved her husband. The past few years, Eliza had noticed her powerhouse of a grandmother slow down and become a bit ... frail.

More than once in the night, Eliza determined to pack up and go home. Then she'd roll over and hear Devin's voice in her head telling her that her grandmother was adamant Eliza finish out the summer at the quarry.

She gave up on trying to sleep and sat up in her bed, pulling her knees to her chest. Her grandmother was very private. She asked for time to grieve on her own. The least Eliza could do was grant her that.

But staying out at Dinosaur National Monument no longer held the same appeal.

She longed for home.

Longed for the museum.

And having Devin here after an absence made her realize she didn't wish to be away from him either.

She scooted to the edge of the bed and placed her bare feet on the floor. The wood planks were smooth and a bit cool under her toes. A nice reprieve from the heat of the day.

At the window, she stared out at the stars.

Nothing had seemed quite right since she came out here.

She leaned her forehead against the glass.

If she'd never left, she would have had those last days with her grandfather.

She would have never gone to that judgmental little church. Or been subjected to the wrath of those women.

Without her drawing those people's unwanted attention, the vandalism and theft probably wouldn't have happened either. The quarry wouldn't be shut down.

The darkness of her thoughts swirled, overwhelming her to the point where she couldn't breathe. She gripped the ledge of the window and inhaled sharply.

Wallowing in the horrible things that had happened wasn't helpful. So...

What good things could she count? She bit her lip as she thought of Earl Douglass. Had she stayed in Pittsburgh, she wouldn't have met one of her heroes.

She wouldn't have seen the magnificence of the quarry and its plethora of fossils.

She wouldn't have had the opportunity to search for more on the Meyer ranch.

The ranch!

What if she actually found an intact skeleton in the creek bed? And why not? With Deborah and Devin by her side, they could bring it out piece by piece. When they were done, she would bring it back to Pittsburgh and place it in Carnegie's Hall of Dinosaurs in honor of her grandfather.

She closed her eyes. Yes. She could do that. For him.

Some of the pressure in her chest eased. Devin was right. God had given her good things and good opportunities in life. Maybe that was why the loss of them hurt so deeply. Especially Grandfather.

Weariness washed over her, and she pushed away from the window. As she climbed back into bed, she pulled the sheet over her and sank into the mattress. She couldn't push her puffy eyes open if she tried.

God, it hurts. You understand this kind of pain better than anyone so I'm coming to You with my aching heart. Please comfort Grandmama in this time of grief, and show me what You would have me do. And please, Lord, if there are fossils on the Meyer ranch, I need Your direction. I also need help forgiving those who said such ugly things and whoever did the damage out at the quarry, because in my flesh , I don't want to.

The clatter of pots and pans downstairs registered in Eliza's brain as something important. But she moaned and rolled over. Her head pounded and her eyes were so heavy.

But then she heard Devin's voice downstairs. No matter how many other voices were in the cacophony, his stood out. Because she knew it.

She lifted her head so that she could listen.

When she heard her name from his lips, she forced herself to rub the sleep from her eyes and sat up.

The pounding only worsened. As she padded over to the washbasin, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

Her eyes were puffy and almost swollen shut from crying, her hair a matted, tangled mess, and her skin was splotchy and red.

This was going to take some work.

She washed her face and hands and soaked a cloth to place over her eyes for a few minutes. The clock in the hall chimed and she gulped. She had sent Deborah a note the day after receiving the news, delaying their planned excursion to the ranch. She had gotten a very kind response, which included Deborah's plans to stop by the general store each day in about an hour's time, if Eliza ever felt up to meeting her there. And she still had to dress, eat breakfast, and pack a lunch.

If only she'd gotten more sleep last night.

But then the reason for her lack of sleep hit her in the middle of her chest.

She lay back on the bed and placed the cool cloth over her eyes, fighting the swell of tears that threatened to swallow her whole and drag her into an ocean of grief.

Grandfather was gone.

"Go find me a dinosaur, Eliza."

Those had been his last words to her as she'd boarded the train west. While he'd never completely approved of her work, in the last couple of years he'd softened more and more toward it. Probably because, as Mr. Carnegie confided in her, he worked to wear the old man down.

She smiled toward the ceiling and lifted the cloth off her eyes. According to Grandmama, Grandfather had changed his mind. The least she could do was grant him his last wish.

Dressing quickly, she grabbed a couple extra hankies just in case she couldn't stop the tears later. She would go now and work to find something out at the Meyer ranch. It would give her purpose and something to keep her occupied while the quarry was closed.

When she made it down the stairs, the family was all around the breakfast table. Devin was with them.

He immediately stood and walked over to her, dropping a kiss on her cheek. "Are you all right?" His words were low and just for her. Tears hovered again at his care. He'd always been so considerate of her and her feelings.

She nodded and pasted on what she hoped was a congenial face. "Thank you." They walked over to the table together. "I'm sorry for my tardiness this morning. I'm glad you all went on without me."

Mrs. Adams reached over and squeezed Eliza's hand. "It's all right, dear. Grief is a difficult path to navigate."

Eliza blinked rapidly. She would not cry over breakfast, even if her hostess's kind understanding warmed her hurting heart. "If you don't mind, I am going to meet Deborah in a short while. Might I take something to eat on the way? And I know it's a great imposition, but I was hoping to pack a lunch as well."

Mrs. Adams stood and laid her napkin down. "It's not a problem. You grab what you want. Louise was gracious enough to pack a lunch for several people this morning when Devin arrived and said you would be gone all day." She turned to her eldest. "Louise, dear, please fetch the basket."

"Thank you, Mrs. Adams." Eliza picked up the cloth napkin from her place at the table and opened it up. Inside, she placed two biscuits, cut them open and slathered them with butter and jam, put them back together like little sandwiches, and then wrapped them all up. She turned to Devin as Mrs. Adams and Louise came from the kitchen. "Are you ready?" She peered up into his blue eyes.

"Whenever you are." His grin broadened.

Eliza felt her stomach twist, and she pressed a hand to her middle. What was that ?

Louise broke the moment as she handed the basket to Devin and fluttered her eyelashes as she smiled. "It was so nice to chat with you this morning, Mr. Schmitt."

He dipped his chin at her. "My pleasure."

"Thank you." Eliza aimed the appreciation at Louise, but the young lady had eyes for no one...

... but Devin.

T HURSDAY , J ULY 13, 1916 · J ENSEN

The newspaper crinkled as she folded it in half. She tossed it on the table and picked up her coffee cup. Taking a drink, she relished the warm liquid sliding down her throat. It was almost as satisfying as the headline she'd just read.

Vandals and Thieves Play Havoc at Carnegie Quarry!

At least someone else had taken up her cause to stop the work at the quarry. This would help her a great deal. Now, if she only knew who it was, she could meet with them and perhaps join forces.

No. That was too risky.

But it was good to know that others wanted the work stopped as well. Who cared about the motivation, as long as it slowed down those fossil hunters?

The descriptions in the paper had portrayed a mess.

As she sipped her coffee, she rolled around the words the vandals had used.

Maybe she could use some of the same verbiage. That way, the other party would know someone else believed in their cause. Which just might stir them up some more.

Adding a bit of fuel to the fire couldn't hurt, especially if it played out in her favor.

According to the article, cleanup was supposed to take at least a week. That gave her a bit of extra time, now, didn't it? Movement in the back of the house told her it was her moment of opportunity.

She went to the stove and added the arsenic to the pot. All of it this time. For over a week, she'd been testing it in small amounts, enjoying the suffering it caused.

"I've told you not to touch my newspaper!" Her husband growled as he stomped up to the table and snatched it from in front of her plate. He wobbled a bit, and his face was pale and gaunt.

"Still not feeling well, dear?" She fetched his breakfast that she'd kept warm on the stove.

"No. And I'll ask you to keep your mouth shut and let me eat in peace." He plopped into the chair and grabbed the fork from her hand.

She clamped her lips tight. This would be the last time he ever told her to keep her mouth shut. As she poured him a cup of coffee, she smiled and sat back down in her chair.

How had she ever thought he was the love of her life all those years ago? What a fool she'd been. He'd done a fine job of wooing her and acting one way, then turning into a different person as soon as they came home from the church.

He sipped his coffee, ate his breakfast, and read his paper.

She stood and went to grab her bonnet.

"Where are you going?"

"Out. It's no business of yours." For the first time in her married life, she didn't care what he thought.

"Why, you—!" His usual roar sounded pathetic as he tried to come to his feet... and failed. "What—what did you d—?" His head hit the table with a loud thunk.

She walked out the door, climbed into the buggy, and grabbed the reins.

For the first time in a very long time, she took a full breath and smiled.

What a lovely day.