Chapter 7

seven

"I am too light and trifling. If I had a burden for the souls of my fellow men that I should have I would not be so trifling."

~Earl Douglass

W EDNESDAY , J ULY 5, 1916 · A DAMS F ARM

Eliza had invited Devin to meet her host family for dinner tonight. At the time, she'd had no idea how rotten the day would be. And now, with puffy eyes and a tear-stained face, she'd have to put on a smile and introduce him to the whole family.

It wasn't a bad thing. She adored Devin and the Adams family. But just then she would have preferred being alone.

As she and Devin rode their horses back to the Adams's home, he must have picked up on her misery. He hadn't spoken a word since they'd left the quarry.

He knew her all too well.

"I'm really glad you're here, Devin." She turned and offered him a half-smile. "Thank you for coming out."

"You're welcome."

Silence surrounded them once again, and that was all right. Dinner was sure to be full of questions now that she'd gotten the girls to open up to her. And Devin would evoke a fair share of curiosity, especially from the girls. Hopefully he would take the attention off her.

But the words from those awful women kept needling her mind. She pushed them away. No . She would not allow them any more presence or thought.

Devin sighed beside her, and she turned her face to him. "Everything all right? That sounded like some heavy thoughts were tumbling around that mind of yours."

"Yeah." Another sigh.

Coming from him, that meant something weighty indeed.

He looked at her. "I know we've got this dinner ahead and I didn't want to make things harder for you, but there's something I need to tell you. It is of great import." His jaw was tight, his eyes serious.

"All right." Maybe he didn't feel comfortable having dinner with strangers. Had she bothered to even ask if he wanted to, or had she once again dragged him along for whatever she wanted?

"Your grandmother asked me to come see her before I left."

"Oh?" Maybe this wasn't about dinner after all. Even so, she should work on being a better friend to him.

"It's a—"

"Eliza! Eliza!" Louise and Adelaide ran toward them from the fenced-in yard. "You're here!"

She sent a look to Devin and leaned over. "Sorry. I didn't realize they would be waiting for us."

He directed a smile at the welcomers. "It's all right. We can talk later."

"Louise, Adelaide." Eliza steered her horse toward the gate. "I'd like you to meet Mr. Devin Schmitt. He's my oldest and dearest friend." Her horse stopped at the fence, and she dismounted. She handed the reins to Louise, who hadn't moved, said a word, or even blinked since she caught sight of Devin. Eliza leaned close to the girl's ear. "Louise."

"Oh!" Louise glanced down at the reins in her hands and then back up at Devin. "It's lovely to meet you, Mr. Schmitt."

"Please. Call me Devin." He dismounted and removed his hat. As he approached the sisters, he nodded at each one. He handed his reins to Louise as well. "Thank you for taking such good care of Eliza."

Adelaide giggled and twirled. "It's wonderful having her here, she tells us such wonderful stories about digs and fossils and the museum. Don't you just love her stories?"

Devin looked over the top of the girl's head to Eliza. The twinkle in his eye warmed her. "Oh, yes. I love her stories. Always have." He turned to the other sister as he followed Eliza toward the house. "How about you, Louise?"

But the eldest girl just stared at him.

Adelaide grabbed her arm. "What is wrong with you? Come on, I'm starved." She took the reins from Louise and wrapped them over the hitching post.

Louise shook off her sister's hand, her face turning bright pink. She turned on her heel and ran into the house.

Eliza tucked her hand into the crook of Devin's arm. "Looks like you have an admirer."

His eyebrows danced up and down. "Oh good. I've always wanted one of those."

She giggled and squeezed his arm. Amazing how he could lift her spirits no matter how low they were.

They walked up the porch steps, and he opened the screen door for her.

"Mrs. Adams? We're here." Eliza led him to the kitchen to meet her host. Introductions and pleasantries were exchanged and then the large group settled around the table.

At first, the Adams family was as quiet with Devin as they had been with Eliza her first couple of weeks at their house. But the awkwardness gradually melted away as Devin asked questions of Mr. and Mrs. Adams and then each of the girls.

To their credit, the four sisters kept their manners, being gracious and sweet. Every time Devin asked Louise a question, she blushed before answering.

Her wide eyes and soft smile as she watched him made Eliza smile to herself. Why wouldn't the eighteen-year-old be smitten with Devin? He was a very handsome man. And brilliant.

He took that moment to glance at her. The intensity of his blue eyes sucked her in and made the rest of the room disappear. He was entertained by her host family, but she also saw concern and care for her in his gaze. They'd shared so much over the years. She could never ask for a better friend.

As Devin looked back to Mr. Adams, Eliza's heart screamed for the connection to return. Now that Devin was here, she felt whole and complete again. Why had she ever thought leaving him was a good idea?

Mr. Adams pointed his gaze at her. "Eliza, have you heard about the trials Mr. Meyer is enduring?"

She blinked and focused her attention on her host. "No. Is Mr. Meyer all right?" She'd hoped to go out to the ranch and survey more of the creek after church again.

Mr. Adams shook his head. "He's lost more than four dozen animals. They don't have any idea how or why yet, just found them dead on his ranch."

"Horace, dear." Mrs. Adams tilted her head toward the youngest daughter. "Perhaps we should have this discussion later."

"You are right, my dear." He straightened and took a sip from his glass.

Eliza understood Mrs. Adams's reaction, but she needed to know more. "When did this happen?"

"This morning." He cleared his throat. "Mr. Schmitt, Eliza tells us that you are the head of the English department at your university. That is an exceptional achievement for a man so young."

"Thank you, sir."

The two men discussed higher education as Eliza pondered what she could do to help Mr. Meyer. Losing that many animals was devastating, no matter how large your herd was. The man had been so kind to her, she wanted to do something. But what?

A loud pounding on the front door startled her out of her thoughts.

"I'll get that." Mrs. Adams stood and walked toward the door.

As soon as Eliza heard her name, she pushed from the table to find out what was happening.

Charlie—one of Earl's right-hand men—stood on the threshold with his hat in his hands. "Miss Mills, I'm sorry to disturb your dinner, but Mr. Douglass said that you made the most recent inventory of all the tools."

"I did." She turned halfway toward the stairs. "Do you need it?"

"Yes, miss. It appears someone came in and stole a bunch. Mr. Douglass said it would be easier to go through the inventory now so we know what's missing."

S ATURDAY , J ULY 8, 1916 · J ENSEN

Dear Dad,

I pray you are doing well and enjoying some time to yourself. I hope you've received my other letters with news of Denver, the Rocky Mountains, and my arrival here in Utah.

I won't rehash all that, but I need to ask for your prayers. By the time you get this, I'll soon be home again, but I know that God hears all our prayers and isn't constrained by time.

Several difficult circumstances have happened out here, and they have prevented me from telling Eliza about her grandfather. My hope is to be able to have some quiet time with her tomorrow after church and give her the note from her grandmother.

Beyond that, I told you how I've been feeling the need the past few months to let Eliza go. On the train out here, I thought I'd done a pretty good job of preparing my heart to tell her good-bye.

Not that I don't want to be her friend anymore. But it's more symbolic than that. The fact that I love her so deeply makes it difficult to see her and act the way we've always acted.

When she was gone for a few weeks, I thought it was good for me. I thought that I was building a healthy wall around my heart. But as soon as I saw her again, it all flew out the window.

I've even convinced myself that enjoying this time together isn't wrong. That it's my last chance. So I'll say good-bye when I leave.

I'm struggling, Dad. In a much larger way than I ever imagined. The more time I spend with her, the more I long to be with her.

Since you are the only one who knows about my feelings for her, I covet your prayers to stay strong. To be willing and able to say good-bye when I have to. To allow her to be free.

I would never want to stand in the way of her dreams. Though her grandfather has passed, I still feel beholden to the promise I made him all those years ago. I am thankful that when I leave, she will still have several weeks here. It will make it easier to say the true good-bye.

I pray you are doing well. I wish you could see the quarry—it truly is a thing of magnificence. A reminder of the awesome power of God.

I'll see you soon. Love, Devin

He set his pen down and reread the letter as it dried. Just getting the feelings out on paper and asking Dad to pray was healing. But he still had to make it through these next few days.

Days that he dreaded and looked forward to all at the same time.

Holding Eliza as she'd cried, being able to comfort her simply by being with her, had stirred his heart as never before. Though helpless to do anything for her, he'd wanted to gather her in his arms again the moment she'd left them.

He sighed and looked back at his letter, folded it, and slid it in an envelope. He would seal it and mail it later. Right now, he needed to get to bed. He was accompanying Eliza to a new church tomorrow morning.

She'd been so wounded and angered by those women's words that she wanted nothing to do with a church out here. But he'd finally convinced her to go again, that not all churches out West would be like that one. They both knew how much she needed the fellowship of other believers and hearing the Word preached. They both needed it.

If she neglected it now, it would be far too easy to continue down that path.

So Devin had asked around in the little town this morning and had met with the pastor of a small country church. The man had been knowledgeable and kind. Not a hint of judgment against those who worked out at the quarry. Which was a good first step.

Perhaps while Eliza gathered her strength to go back to church, he could gain his own strength to be Eliza's friend. Just her friend.

That would be a miracle in and of itself.

S UNDAY , J ULY 9, 1916 · J ENSEN

The jitters seemed to have invaded Eliza as she walked up to the sprawling, ornate ranch house. "I thought you said we were going to visit another church?"

"We are." Devin stopped in the path and smiled down at her. "They are meeting in one of the family's homes while they save up money for their building. They were meeting in the barn, but with the warm temperatures, the smell is not all that conducive to a church service."

She met his gaze. The sparkle in his blue eyes calmed her quaking spirit. "I can imagine. I'm glad we will meet inside the house." The way he looked at her made her feel like she knew who she was. She'd felt so protected and safe in his arms, even as she'd shed ridiculous tears over the words of those women. He hadn't scolded her. Hadn't ridiculed her. Hadn't said a word. Just let her cry. How was it possible he'd become even more wonderful in the weeks they'd been apart?

"What?" His brow crinkled. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm just thankful for you. And nervous." She clasped her hands over her Bible and stared at the house. "What if they are like the last one?"

"Come on. Have you ever—in all your travels—met another church group like that last one?"

"Well no, I've heard of them but have never experienced it. Let's also remember, it only took one group to make me feel like this."

He tugged at her elbow. Eliza let him turn her toward him. "Eliza"—his voice was low and gentle—"you can't let their words control your actions. You aren't responsible for their behavior. Only for yours. Don't let the cruel behavior of a few women shake your whole faith."

Conviction pricked her heart. He was right. "All right." She bolstered herself with a deep breath. "I'm ready."

When they walked into the home, several people were milling about, trying to find their seats. But they all turned and greeted Devin and Eliza with smiles. Eliza let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Already the atmosphere felt different. Less stiff. More hospitable.

"Welcome! We were just about to get started." A woman in a light yellow dress rushed over to them. "Here's a hymnal." And she led them to a comfortable settee near the front. A man brought a couple more chairs from another room of the house and placed them behind the settee.

Wooden chairs filled every available space around the several couches that filled the massive room. A large stone fireplace was the focal point of the room. Children sat on the floor at the front with several older young people behind them. In the corner sat a lovely grand piano, and a young woman—probably not more than twenty—began to play.

A man in a vest, tie, denims, and worn boots stepped to the front of the fireplace. "Open to page fifty-seven, if you will, and join in."

Devin held the book open and flipped to the correct page.

The man up front sang out in a strong baritone voice:

Be kind to each other,

The night's coming on,

When friend and when brother,

Will surely be gone!

Then, 'midst our dejection,

How sweet to have earned,

The blest recollection,

Of kindness returned.

When day hath departed,

And memory keeps,

Her watch, broken hearted,

Where all she loves sleeps,

Let falsehood assail not,

Nor envy disprove,

And trifles prevail not,

Against those whom you love.

Nor change with the morrow,

Should fortune take wing,

The deeper the sorrow,

The closer still cling!

Be kind to each other,

The night's coming on,

When friend and when brother,

Will surely be gone.

The words washed over Eliza's soul, bringing tears to her eyes. That was the kind of love she was looking for in a church. Genuine love and care for one another. She tugged a small handkerchief out of her handbag and dabbed at her eyes, then glanced around the room.

Several others were wiping at their eyes. Sniffles and amens rippled through the small group.

The man up front cleared his throat, clearly moved by the song himself. "It was our joy to celebrate the homegoing of Mr. Vickers this past week. I know he impacted practically every person in this room. This was his favorite hymn and I thought it would be very fitting for us to sing it together this morning." He flipped several pages in the book. "Now let's move a few pages over. ‘He Hideth My Soul'"

As the group began to sing, her heart rejoiced and sent another thank-you to heaven. She'd have to express her appreciation to Devin for spurring her to try another church.

A wonderful Savior is Jesus my Lord

A wonderful Savior to me

He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock

Where rivers of pleasure I see

He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock

That shadows a dry thirsty land

He hideth my life in the depths of His love

And covers me there with His hand

And covers me there with His hand

A wonderful Savior is Jesus my Lord

He taketh my burden away

He holdeth me up and I shall not be moved

He giveth me strength as my day

As they sang the chorus again, more tears burned at the corners of her eyes. She'd been trying to deal with everything in her own strength. Once again. Why couldn't she rest in her Savior? His salvation was perfect. And that was all that truly mattered.

Everyone took their seats as the song leader and pianist took theirs.

A youngish-looking man—he didn't seem to be much older than Devin—stood up at the front with his Bible. "I notice we have a few people visiting our fine church family this morning. I'd like to extend a warm welcome to you. My name is Peter Stevens, and I'm fortunate and blessed to be the pastor here." He nodded and smiled at each person in the room. Which took some time. But it was clear these people loved him as much as he loved them.

"When I received the telegram requesting my wife and I to journey out to Utah, I have to admit I was a little hesitant. We'd always lived near family. And always near the city."

Many chuckles filled the room.

"Since we are celebrating one year of fellowship with this wonderful group of people today, I'd like to ask the elders and deacons to come forward at this time so that we can pray over the future of God's church here in Jensen."

Several men maneuvered their way to the front, and Eliza found she didn't want to close her eyes. The pastor and those men all knelt down at the hearth. A good many of the men around the room got out of their seats and knelt at their chairs. She'd never seen anything like it.

Reaching over to Devin, she grabbed onto his hand and bowed her head.

The most heartfelt and beautiful prayers she'd ever heard came from those men. They weren't flowery or full of big theological words. They weren't high and mighty and booming so that everyone could hear their voices. Most of the time, she had to strain to hear. But the humility and yearning expressed by those men was amazing.

By the time they were done praying, a good thirty minutes had passed. But there wasn't a dry eye in the room. It could have gone on for hours, and Eliza would have been happy. Never had she heard such anointed praying. It was like they were right there, at the throne of grace.

The pastor opened his Bible and read from John chapter one. One of her favorite passages of all time. He read a few verses and then taught on them in a very conversational manner. He even asked questions of the group. And people answered! She'd never seen such a thing in church.

Devin had opened his Bible and laid it across both their laps. When she glanced down, it was almost intimate that he shared it with her. She'd been so caught up in the pastor's teaching that she hadn't even thought to open hers.

As the pastor taught through the whole chapter, she found herself mesmerized. It was a familiar passage, and yet it seemed fresh and new.

In that moment, she was hungry for the Word. Hungrier than she'd ever been.

He wrapped up the service, challenging each of them with the Great Commission in Matthew 28.

A renewed vigor for her faith swirled inside her.

As they left, it seemed like every person there greeted them. It was warm and loving. She'd never remember all the names, but she couldn't wait to come back next week.

Devin helped her back up into the carriage and took the reins. "I would ask you what you thought, but I can tell that you liked it."

As the horse went into motion, Eliza turned a bit to see him better. "I did. Very much."

"Sounds like maybe you've found yourself a good church here now. That's the best thing. Especially if you're going to stay permanently."

His smiling face couldn't squelch the doubt that crept into her spirit. Permanently? "It's a wonderful church. And I will gladly attend while I'm here. I am in desperate need of spiritual growth, that's for certain."

"Uh-oh." He peered at her. "I know that tone of voice. What's wrong? Was there someone you didn't like? Did someone say something ugly to you?"

"Heavens, no. The church was wonderful. The people were lovely." She bit her lip. "But it has made me rethink what it is that I am supposed to be doing. I mean ... he challenged us with the Great Commission at the end. How is my digging for dinosaur bones going to accomplish that? Have I been selfish all these years? And you heard what those women said out at the quarry. They don't think it's godly for me to be doing it. What do other people think?"

One side of his mouth tipped up in a smile. It was a smile she knew all too well. "Scripture also tells us that we are to do our work heartily as unto the Lord. Are you doing your work heartily for Him?"

"Yes ... at least ... yes, I think I am."

Devin tipped his head a bit. "Really? You think? You're one of the most cheerful people I know when it comes to your work. There are plenty of days I don't have the right attitude about my job. But I'm convicted to do my very best for His glory. Just like teaching English and literature can be honoring to Him, so can digging for dinosaurs."

This work that she did ... she was more passionate about it than anything else she could be doing. Goodness, Devin's father always had a hard time keeping her focused on her other studies from the time she was little. But he did help her understand so much about paleontology. He'd bribe her with getting her other work done by telling her he had a new book, paper, or interesting find to report to her.

It worked every time.

In the few conversations she'd had with Earl the past few weeks, she knew he was a man of faith. Even though he still wrestled with many things. What scientist didn't? Especially when it came to dinosaurs or when they lived. But his passion for the work and for the Bible continued. Several times, she'd heard him quote Scripture to the other workers.

But he didn't seem to be attending church anywhere. At least from what she'd heard.

The battle between science and faith was real. Overwhelming at times.

But she wasn't in this to prove when the dinosaurs roamed the earth. She wanted to show people how awesome the Creator was for bringing these beasts to life.

Devin elbowed her gently. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"They're worth far more than a penny, Mr. Schmitt." Their long-standing joke was fun to keep running.

"Okay then, how about a dollar?"

"That's more like it." She straightened. "There is so much that I don't understand about dinosaurs. And that's all right, because I will continue to dig and learn." With a swallow, she looked at him. "I love what I do. And I don't think that's going to change."

"Good to hear." He released the reins with one hand and patted her knee. "It would be a pity for you to give up when it's something you love so much." His voice had turned serious, and he snapped his head forward.

She watched him for several seconds. The lines of his jaw were hard, and she could see him clenching. What had changed his mood?

"Are you all right?"

"I'm great." His face softened. "Why don't we go back to the quarry? I've got a few questions I would love for you to answer." He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "As long as you are okay with delaying lunch a bit."

"I'm starved, but I think I can manage."

He didn't respond, just kept driving.

When they reached the quarry, he set the brake and then hopped down. He reached up and helped her down from the carriage. Her stomach did a weird little flip as she took his hand. She must be hungrier than she thought.

They headed down the path, but she stopped in her tracks and gasped. "What happened?"

Tables were overturned. Tools were scattered. And worse, the pile of debris they'd removed from the fossil wall was now covering everything.

Two of the tents were on their sides. Two more were slashed.

And in paint, several words had been scrawled.

Blasphemers.

Go Away.