Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

DAYRA

I wake up wrapped in Zane’s arms while he snores softly over my shoulder. Panic rises in my chest. This is too much. It feels too… right. He feels too right. Right for me. Right for everything in my life. I try to control my breathing and slowly slide out from his grip on me. I’m naked, in his bedroom, without a vehicle.

I take a slow, deep breath and search for my clothes. I can’t do this. I quickly put on my clothes and search for my purse. I cannot find it in the house and I remember I may have left it in his truck. I walk outside and tug on the door handle. Unlocked. Thank you Jesus. I find my purse sitting on the passenger seat. I rummage through it and find my phone. I open the Uber app and my ride shows up in five minutes. I’ve never gotten an Uber that fast before in my life.

It’s a thirty-minute ride to Scotty’s place to get my car and I exhale a breath of relief once I’m situated in the driver’s seat of my own vehicle. The more distance I put between myself and Zane, the more relief I feel. I just need space. I need to clear my head.

I open my phone app on the touch screen of my car and tap on Maia’s name. The phone rings three times before she answers.

“Hello?” Her voice is thick with sleep and I can tell I woke her up. I don’t even know what time it is. I glance at the clock on the radio and it reads five minutes after six.

“Good morning,” I chime.

“You sound chipper this morning,” she notes.

“Meh. I’m okay. Get up so I can bring you to get your car at Scotty’s. Or do you want to Uber?”

“ Ughh ,” she groans. “Okay. Fine. I’m getting up. But I’m turning your heater on. It’s freezing in here.”

I laugh as I hear her teeth chatter.

“Okay. Put Reese’s sweater on her before you let her out.”

“Okay, okay. See you in a few. Love you,” she chimes before she hangs up.

The sun is starting to rise in the sky and the world is awake as I drive through the countryside into the city. The Christmas lights and yard décor sing to my soul, soothing the anxiety that I’ve had all morning. Temporarily, anyway.

It’s Saturday morning and the streets are calm as most of the hustle and bustle is still in bed asleep this early. The traffic is minimal, but that will all change later as everyone rushes out to do their last minute Christmas shopping. Occupying my brain is relieving, if only for a bit, to let me concentrate on anything other than what my life is right now.

I don’t know how it got here. But it scares the hell out of me. I pull into my driveway and walk inside to find Maia sitting on my couch with a cup of coffee and Reese Piecie in her sweater about to wiggle off the couch when she sees me.

“Hi, sweet girl,” I greet her, petting both sides of her face as she tries to lick me to death. I pick her up and sit down on the couch next to Maia, who nonchalantly takes a sip of her coffee with a smug look on her face.

“Don’t give me that look.”

She raises her brows, still looking at me in the same manner.

“What, do you want details?” I ask, patting the top of Reese’s head and looking away from her intrusive stare.

“ Umm . Yes. Yes that would be great,” she muses.

“ Ugh . Fine. We went back to his house and had great hate sex. Happy?”

“What? No! That wasn’t details. Jesus H, did you not have a good time? I need to know what happened, lady!”

I sigh and look over at her as tears well in my eyes. Her expression shifts from happy to concerned.

“What? What happened? What’s wrong? Did he hurt you?” She fires off the questions faster than I can answer anything.

“No, God no. He didn’t hurt me. He would never. It’s worse than that. He actually wants me.”

Maia throws her hands up, coffee cup in the air and all. “Dayra. And that’s a problem because?”

“Because it is! He’s the Tall Hateful Devil. The man who has hated me since the day that I got hired on. He’s been so hateful and mean and crude and now things are so different I don’t know what to do with it. And I’m up to apply for a promotion and what if I get the promotion just because we’re sleeping together?”

Silent tears stream down my face as I voice all of the concerns that have been swirling around inside of my brain for the last few hours. And yesterday. The way he doesn’t quite hate me anymore the way that he claims.

“Oh my gosh, Dayra. Are you telling me that this man, who is not the devil you thought he was, is treating you better than you could have ever imagined and you’re worried about HR at your job?”

I laugh through my self-pity tears. “Yes. That’s pretty much exactly what I’m telling you.”

She shakes her head in disbelief and tosses her hands up again in dismissal.

“I cannot with you.”

“I even snuck out this morning without telling him goodbye or waking him up. I caught an Uber back to Scotty’s to get my car. And it was expensive, I spent fifty dollars on that trip.”

“Christ. What am I going to do with you?”

I shrug and offer her my best fake smile “Love me and help me navigate my fucked up insecurities?”

She shakes her head again and then nods. “Yep. That’s about all I can do. So, are you applying for the job?”

“I should. Mark told me I’m the best candidate for the position. And that my odds of getting it are really good.”

“Then what would stop you?”

“Zane. And the fact that I’ve been sleeping with him.”

“You’ve slept with him twice. That hardly qualifies. Get HR on a technicality if they find out.”

I roll my eyes at her. “That’s not how it works, and you know it.”

She shrugs and takes a sip of her coffee. “That’s how it should work.”

I sigh. “Are you ready to go get your car? I have a hangover and I just want to go to sleep.”

“Then go to sleep. We can get my car later. I am in no hurry to do anything. Hell, I’m going to curl up right here with this blanket and go back to sleep myself.”

“Perfect. See you in a few hours,” I say, walking into my bedroom. I crash onto the bed, pulling my comforter up to my shoulders as I snuggle into my favorite body pillow. I hear Reese’s paws on the tile as she comes running into the room and bails onto the bed. She nuzzles her cold nose against my back where the comforter is until I lift it for her to crawl beneath the blanket. Spoiled brat.

She snuggles into the back of my knees and curls into a ball. We stay like that for the remainder of the day, ignoring life and responsibilities. When I finally wake up, I’m starving and my stomach is growling viciously. I look at the clock on the nightstand. Four o’clock in the evening. I slept all day. I needed it, though. Spending the evening drunk and then getting railed into another dimension took all the energy I had in me and I needed to replenish. Not to mention the emotional rollercoaster I’m on is fucking exhausting in itself.

I check my phone reluctantly, afraid of what I might find. There’s only one text message. From Zane.

Zane: Don’t run from me, babygirl. You don’t have to be afraid. I’ll be here. Whenever you realize that.

His words spark something in me and I fight back the tears for the second time today. I am running from him. I’m running fast and hard because he scares the fuck out of me. I thought we were supposed to just have hate sex and go back to normal? Him hating me and making my work life miserable. And me hating him and trying to avoid him at all costs.

I leave his message on read and don’t respond. I don’t have the words for him today. Maia peeks her head through the doorframe.

“Good morning. Again. Are you awake and ready to do things?”

“Yes. I need to brush my teeth and take a quick shower, but I’m starving .”

“Me freaking too. Okay, let’s do it because I’m going to die if I do not get food in the next thirty minutes.”

I scoff and roll my eyes, smiling at her as I roll out of bed and head to the bathroom to get myself gathered. Within fifteen minutes, I’m showered with brushed teeth and half-blow dried hair. Good enough for me.

I get dressed while Maia gets ready in the bathroom and when she’s done we meet in the living room.

“Chips and salsa?” she asks.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

We head to our favorite Mexican restaurant in town and stuff our faces with chips and salsa with queso and somehow that makes all feel right in my life. I drop her off at her car just as it’s starting to get dark. I spot Dolly’s car in the parking lot and consider going inside, but I think better of it. I don’t need to start that again. Too many people in there will tell Zane I’m there, then he’ll show up, then we’ll repeat last night, and I’ll be right back in this boat in the morning. Besides, Reese Piecie has been without me enough this week.

I spend the rest of the weekend laying in bed snuggling with my tiny girl and watching The Grinch, one of my favorites, and the new Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel this year. Monday morning, my stomach is in knots. I haven’t seen or spoken to Zane since Friday night. I arrive early and notice his truck isn’t here. I quickly get into my office and close my door.

I get straight to work on meaningless tasks that I’ve needed to finish up before we’re off for Christmas, but it does little to distract me. Every noise outside of my office has me on edge and ready to hide underneath my desk. I somehow manage not to run into Zane for most of the day, even when I spend lunch in the lounge.

I eat with Jade and Xena at a table in the lounge, by the window. I glance at the parking lot and notice that Zane’s truck isn’t here. Hmm . I wonder if he’s out to lunch or if he didn’t come in today at all.

Jade taps my arm, scaring me and making me jump. “Yeah?” I say, looking at her.

“I was just asking how your weekend was. I didn’t mean to startle you. You were deep in thought about something.”

“I was just watching the birds in the trees and zoned out, my bad. Umm . My weekend was good. Lazy for the most part. What about yours?”

“Oh, she had a very interesting weekend,” Xena says scandalously.

“It was nothing,” she brushes Xena’s comment off but I can see the dire need to spill whatever secret it is that she wants the world to know. She glances around the room and then leans in closer over the table.

“I spent Saturday night with Zane Moore!” she whisper-squeals. My stomach churns. A huge knot is forming. I want to throw up. I want to punch the wall. Wow. How fucking stupid am I to believe that I was the only one he was sleeping with at the office? The room around me spins and I grip the table to try and steady myself. This cannot be real life. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t texted me and why he didn’t show up here today.

“What?” I ask incredulously.

“It’s true! We were at the same little bar out in the sticks and he hit on me and took me home. We went back to my place and slept together. And he told me that I’m totally getting the promotion. Sorry, Dayra.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because I’m going to get the position that you’re applying for too.”

I sit there in disbelief, listening to her ramble on and on about her night with Zane and how great he was in bed and how she has no problem sleeping her way to the top. I finally can’t sit through it any longer. I get up from the table and walk away without another word.

It’s funny how this weekend I wasn’t sure that I wanted him and now even if I did, I sure as fuck don’t anymore. It’s easy to see I was just another notch in his bedpost. How fucking stupid of me. I mean, what did I expect? It isn’t like we were together. We were just sleeping together. We slept together. That’s it.

I didn’t want to be with him anyway. So what difference does it make if he’s fucking Jade? I’ll be damned if she gets that promotion just because she had sex with him though. I storm into my office and lock the door behind me, tears streaming hot down my face as I sit down at my desk and finish filling out my application for the promotion. Fuck her. And fuck him.

I’ll be damned if I sit idly by and watch as she quite literally fucks me out of this promotion. If she gets it, I’m leaving. I have enough experience now and Mark would vouch for me no matter where I chose to go. My anger and overwhelming emotions get the best of me and I grab my phone and shoot a text to Zane.

Dayra: Didn’t take you long to decide not to wait for me.

I set my phone down and lock it. It takes a solid ten seconds for it to ding. My heart is hammering in my chest and I don’t even know if I want to open it.

Zane: What the fuck are you talking about?

I type out a response.

Dayra: Jade. That’s what the fuck I’m talking about.

I rest my face in my hands and open Zane’s contact. I debate for a moment and then I block him. I don’t want to hear any of his bullshit excuses. There’s nothing he can say. I send an email to Mark asking if I can take my holiday early since all of my work is done. He approves it immediately and I grab my purse, heading to my car.

I go out the front, not wanting to chance running into Zane coming in through the stairwell. I do a quick scan of the parking lot and when I see his truck is still not here, I get in my car and head home. I pack a bag and grab Reese Piecie and head to Aunt Cindy and Uncle Ken’s. The one place he can’t find me. I don’t want him showing up at my house. I’m just done.