Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

ZANE

My heart is in my throat as I watch the message I just typed out to Dayra not go through. What the hell is happening? I feel like I just got sucker punched in the gut by a random stranger for no reason at all. Jade? What the hell does she have to do with anything? I watch the message not deliver and dial Dayra’s number. Nothing. She fucking blocked me? I don’t know if I’m more hurt or angry.

The air outside is cold and when the wind blows, it’s sharp on my skin. I’m standing in the parking lot of Scotty’s. Instead of going into the office today, I worked at home for a few hours this morning and had a meeting with AJ to pick up Dayra’s Christmas gift. I compose myself the best that I can before I go back inside.

“Sorry about that. There was an issue at work. Let me get you another beer,” I say to AJ, sitting down at the bar next to him. His white button up shirt is dingy, stained a light yellow. Likely from all the time he spends inside of this place.

“Ah, it’s no problem. I was going to be here regardless, having a beer.”

I wave the bartender over and she serves him a beer. I close out my tab and thank AJ for the beautiful piece of woodwork and say goodbye. My chest is filled with a panic as I get in my truck and head toward Dayra’s. She’s going to talk to me. I didn’t do anything and I need her to know that.

Dayra’s house is empty. I knock on the door and don’t even hear her little dog bark.

“Fuck!” I slam my fist on her front door.

I get back in my truck and head toward the office. If Dayra won’t talk to me, someone is going to tell me what the fuck happened. And Jade is the one who’s going to fill me in. I arrive at the office and realize it’s the last day before Christmas break. Fucking hell. No one is here. I flip through the contacts in my phone in search of Jade’s number.

I realize that I don’t have her number saved in my phone. Of course I don’t. I have no need for it. I find Mark’s name and dial him instead.

“Hello?”

“Hey, can you send me Jade’s number? I don’t seem to have it stored in my contacts.”

“Yeah. Everything okay?”

“Yep. Everything’s fine. I just wanted to talk to her about the article she did for us last week for Instagram.”

“Zane, come on. It’s Christmas. Can’t it wait until after the new year?”

I sigh, defeated. “Yeah. It can. Thanks.” I quickly press the end call button, wanting to throw this stupid fucking phone across the office until it shatters into a million tiny pieces.

I don’t understand what the fuck happened. I knew she was scared after Friday night, but something happened. What did Jade say to her? I ran into Jade at Scotty’s place. She got drunk and tried to hit on me and I shut her down. She’s a catty bitch that is not worth my time, attention, or thought. She was clingy and trying to hang all over me and I quickly told her to get off of me.

Dayra must not have gotten the full story of what actually transpired. If I could just tell her. My chest aches at the lack of control that I have over this situation. I do the only thing that I know to do in this situation. I get in my truck and I drive to my mom’s house. She’ll know what I can do. I’m going to have to tell her a whole lot that I didn’t intend on sharing with her, but I’m out of options.

I don’t have a way to contact Dayra. I don’t want to be the crazy stalker that calls her from ten different apps until she answers. That’s tacky and I don’t need any help getting her not to want to talk to me. The drive out to Mom’s in the dark isn’t as soul soothing as it normally is. My brain isn’t giving me any dopamine today.

The porch light is on and I can see the Christmas lights from the tree shining bright through the window. I walk in and find Mom sitting on the couch with a glass of wine.

“Well, hey baby,” she says, rising from the couch to hug my neck.

“Hey, Mom.”

“What’s wrong? You never come by anymore like this.”

I sigh and sit down on the couch across from her. “It’s Dayra. The?—“

“The girl that you’re in love with,” she cuts me off, matter-of-factly.

I ponder on whether to argue that statement or not and decide, fuck it. “Yeah. That one.”

“I was wondering how long it was going to take you to realize that she’s good for you.”

“That’s what I need your help with. She won’t talk to me. She has things all wrong and I think that she thinks I was with someone else this weekend, and I wasn’t. But now she’s blocked me and I don’t know what to do.”

“I see. So, what makes her think this? Did you do something or say something to her that would make her think this?”

I shake my head. “No. Not at all. I wasn’t at the office today and evidently one of the other women we work with told her something that upset her.”

Mom eyes me suspiciously. “What happened? With you and this other woman?”

I toss my hands up. “Nothing! She hit on me at Scotty’s Saturday and I shut her down. I don’t want her. I want Dayra.”

“So tell her that.”

“Yeah, kinda hard to when she blocked me. So, any other great advice?”

Mom snickers and takes another sip of her wine then shakes her head.

“You’re just like your father. Hardheaded and easily deterred.”

“What do you want me to do? Stalk her? Blow her phone up from different numbers until she answers?”

“You wait for her. Wait until she comes around. Find some patience, son. I know you’ve got some of it somewhere in there.”

I huff and fold my arms across my chest.

“You’re right. I just need to be patient. It’s hard. She’s scared of what I make her feel. And I know it. She was trying to pull away from me already and now she’s done. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“She’ll come around, baby. If it’s meant to be, it will all workout in the end.”

“Yeah. That’s what they say.”

Mom heads into the kitchen and pulls out a container of her famous banana pudding. Dessert to heal your soul, she always used to say. It was Dad’s favorite that she made and she makes it every holiday and birthday in our family.

She fixes two bowls and sets them at the dining room table. I sit down in the chair across from hers and we sit together chatting about Dad and eating pudding. I leave late in the evening and make it home around midnight.

The crippling anxiety I had earlier isn’t so crippling. It’s still there, it just isn’t overwhelming. Mom is right. I just have to give her time, no matter how badly I do not want to give her time. Christmas is only days away and I wanted so badly to see her face light up on Christmas Day. My girl, the one who loves all things Christmas and has even warmed this old grinch’s heart this year. I haven’t felt this alive during the holidays in my entire life.

That ache in my chest is growing as I try to busy myself around the house. I wrap Dayra’s gift that I picked up earlier and place it on my nightstand underneath the small tree I decorated just for her. I shoot a text to my brother to see what he’s into this evening and get nothing back. He’s probably out doing something with his family. And I know my sister is busy with her family. I’m the middle child and somehow the only one without a family of my own. It isn’t my fault no one I’ve met has been worthy of carrying my child and last name.

Until now. I didn’t realize how smitten with Dayra I was until she was no longer an option for me. My brain races at all of the possible outcomes of the conversation that we will have when I see her again. I will see her. She can’t avoid me forever. I’m exhausted and finally crash with Dayra being the last thing that crosses my mind.

I wake up Christmas Eve morning to my phone chiming back-to-back. Groggily, I snatch it from the wireless charger on my nightstand. With one eye open, I type in my passcode and glare at it. Text messages from a number I don’t have saved in my phone are pinging one after the other.

I click it and have to scroll up to see all of the messages.

Unknown: You piece of trash! How dare you treat Dayra like that. I can’t believe I’ve been telling her this whole time to give you a chance and literally the day after you’re with her, you go and fuck another coworker? Are you serious right now? I am baffled.

Unknown: I do not know how you can live with yourself. Actually. I do. It’s because you’re exactly who she thought you were all along.

Unknown: You really are the Tall Hateful Devil, aren’t you.

Unknown: What do you have to say for yourself? Or are you going to be too much of a pussy to respond? Fucking defend yourself at least.

Unknown: or don’t. Whatever. I don’t care. I just thought you were different than this. Better than this. I guess I was wrong.

Unknown: This is Maia, btw. In case you haven’t figured that out.

It’s too early for this. I tap the button at the top right and call the number. I am not texting a whole defense this early in the morning on Christmas Eve, nonetheless. It rings for half of a ring before she answers.

“What? You’re calling me?” she whispers.

“Yeah. It’s too early for texting that damn much. And I have a lot to say.”

“You’re right, you do have a lot to say. Really? Jade? How could you do that?”

“Pump your brakes, lady. Can I talk?”

The other end of the line gets quiet and I wait a few seconds longer before I begin.

“The simple answer is… I didn’t.”

“Bullshit!”

“Look, I didn’t sleep with her, or anyone else for that matter. I don’t even like Jade as a human, much less as a woman. But, I don’t have to defend myself.”

“You don’t? I guess she isn’t that important to you after all, then.”

“I don’t have to explain myself because Dolly and Cassidy are both friends of yours and Dayra’s and they can each pull the security tapes from Saturday and show Dayra. Let them do the talking.”

“Security cameras don’t show everything.”

“They will show her everything she needs to see. Trust me. Please, tell her that. Tell her to pull the tapes and watch them. For me. For her. For us. I’m begging you, because if you don’t tell her that then I have no way of reaching her to tell it to her myself.”

Maia gets quiet, for the first time this morning. She’s quiet for so long that I have to look at the phone to see if the call is still connected.

“Hello?” I say after she doesn’t say anything.

“Yeah. I’m here. I just… I didn’t expect you to be innocent. And I was kind of an ass to you. Well,at least you’re proclaiming innocence. I’ll see for myself.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I didn’t do anything.”

“Yeah. You did. I’ll be waiting for a text or call. From either of you.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” she says, and with that she hangs up the phone.

It’s hardly daylight outside and now I’m wide awake and might as well get up and get the day started. We get together at Mom’s every year on Christmas Eve, just like we do for Thanksgiving, so I’ve got a few hours to kill between now and then. I gather the gifts I got for my nieces and nephews, brother and sister, their spouses, and Mom. I pile them into the few large cardboard boxes I’ve been saving just for this and then put them in the bed of my truck.

I put the two gifts I got Dayra in the backseat, just in case I get an opportunity to give them to her. I don’t know that Maia will even tell her what I said, much less if it’ll be today or tomorrow. But here’s hoping. Maybe this Christmas, I’ll be the recipient of a miracle. Just maybe.