Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

Priest

When she gets here, she’s not quite as cranked up as she was yesterday, but she’s still on edge. I ask what happened during the day, and it all spills out of her. She ends with, “And have you ever in your life heard a man say, ‘You let me worry about my daughter’s pussy?’ I mean, really? He said that! He actually said it!”

“Gotta admit, never heard anybody say that before.”

“I know, right? What an asshole. Total asshole.” She sits there for a minute, then lets out a long sigh. “Whew. I need a drink!”

“There’s a new little roadhouse over in Hazard. Wanna go check it out?”

“Could we? Could we dance?”

“Oh, I bet we could! I showered before you got here. You know… let me go see if anybody else wants to go with us. Would that be okay?”

“That could be fun! Who are you thinkin’?”

“I dunno. Let me see who I run into out on the lawn.” I’m lying. I know exactly who I’m going looking for.

I knock on his door one time and it opens. “Hey, man! What’s up?”

“You got plans for tonight?”

“No. Not that I know of. Hey, babe, we got plans tonight?”

Mavis appears in the bedroom doorway behind him. “No. None yet.”

“We kinda wanna go check out that new roadhouse over in Hazard, but… I was wondering if you guys would come with us.”

“You don’t wanna take your girl and go on a real date with…” I’m staring straight into his face, and suddenly, his eyebrows jack up. “Oh. Yeah. I get it. Sure. We’ll be glad to go with you. Give us a chance to put on something a little more going-outish and we’ll be right over.”

“Thanks, man.” Nobody has made me feel unwelcome or uncomfortable around here, but Hazard is a different story, and two black people walking into a roadhouse might not be the most welcome sight. I know if Reboot and Mavis are with us, folks are less likely to say or do anything.

I’m almost back to my cottage when I see Patch on the porch of theirs. “Hey, you guys up to no good tonight?” I call out.

“Nah. Just hangin’. You guys got plans?”

“We’re going with Reboot and Mavis to the new roadhouse. You and Penny should come!”

“You know, that sounds like fun. Let me see if she wants to. I’ll let you know.”

“Sounds good!” That’s even better.

Thirty minutes later, the six of us are in the SUV and headed to Hazard. The women are all talking and laughing, and it’s the least stressed I’ve seen Aggie since before the funeral. That makes me smile. When we pull up, I’m surprised to find that even though it’s a Friday night, they’re not completely overrun.

When we walk in, I’m even more surprised. There are two other black couples there, and one of the bartenders is a black woman. This is turning out to be a good decision. “This table back here okay for y’all? It’s the only big one I have right now,” the hostess says. She’s not trying to put us in the corner; there aren’t a lot of people here, but the ones that are here seem to be in large groups, so this table is it.

“Oh, this is fine,” Reboot says. “Thanks.”

“Amaranth will be your server. She’ll be with you in just a second.” We thank her and in ten minutes, we’ve all got drinks and we’re looking at menus.

I’m really liking this place. There’s a large jukebox over in the corner, and a small but nice dance floor over to one side. Before I get a chance to say anything, Reboot has dragged Mavis out there, and she’s looking genuinely alarmed. As I watch them, I remember the Mavis that came to us, a scared, cowed-down woman, tripping over her own feet, and I see the new Mavis, one who’s still a little afraid of stumbling and making a fool of herself, but who trusts Reboot enough to lean into him and let him lead her around the dance floor. He’s graceful enough for the two of them, and I can tell he loves having her in his arms. “Y’all gonna dance?” Patch asks.

“Yeah, after we eat. I’m hungry!”

“We’re used to having dinner earlier, so yeah. I’m hungry too.” He’s munching on some popcorn that the server plunked down in the middle of our table, and I take a few kernels and feed them to Aggie. She turns the tables and feeds a few to me. Just seeing her smile makes me warm all over. I love her so much. I didn’t think it was possible to fall this much in love with somebody this fast, but I really do love her, and I can tell that she loves me with every word she speaks and every gesture she makes.

My steak is perfection. Aggie’s is too. Mavis has fish, and it smells delicious. Reboot and Patch ordered the pork chops, and they both say they’re amazing. Penny has this chicken thing in a little crock with some kind of sauce over it, and she says it’s divine. Not my word, hers. Makes me laugh. Anyway, we’re all thoroughly enjoying our food, and the drinks are good too. They have some of my favorite beers here, and I can’t wait to come back and get something else.

After we’ve eaten, we all dance, and the server keeps our drinks filled. It’s a really pleasant evening with great food and great company, and I haven’t been this happy in a long time. Every time I look at Aggie, I can tell she’s thinking about what’s going on at school, but she stays quiet about it and tries to enjoy herself. That’s something, I suppose.

When it’s time to go, Reboot mentions that they need to stop at the big discount store, so we all go in and look around. Aggie has decided to do what I suggested and buy toiletries to keep at the cottage, so she grabs a cart. I have a particular something in mind, so I head off to home and garden, but they send me to the camping supplies. When I find what I want, I grab it, pay for it, snag the keys from Patch, and take it out to put it in the back of the SUV. I’ll get it later.

Everybody’s got their purchases, so we all head to the checkouts and in minutes, we’re back on the road. I told Patch what I was up to, and he said he’d help me in the morning while the women find something for Aggie to do, so I’ve got help. It’ll be fun.

The rest of the evening is the stuff dreams are made of. Instead of fucking like a pair of rabbits, we make love. That’s exactly what it is too. I’m so overwhelmed with the way I feel for her that I can hardly stand it. After our third go-round, I smile into her face. “Are you happy?”

“Oh, Darius, I’m so happy here with you.”

“Are you mine?”

“All yours, baby. And I can’t take that messin’ around that brothers do all the time, so if you’re not mine, you need to let me know.”

“You won’t ever catch me messin’ around on you.”

“Oh, you’re so good that I won’t ever catch you?”

I laugh loudly. “No! I don’t mess around. I’ve been alone too long. I wouldn’t mess up what I have with you for some ho bag.”

She tweaks my nipple and I howl. “You’d better not! I want a one-woman man.”

“That’s me, baby girl. Honestly, the way you like to get down, I ain’t got the energy for two!” I announce, laughing.

“Yeah. I heard that. You’d better remember it too.”

“I ain’t forgettin’.” I wouldn’t.

The next morning, while she helps Izzy and Mavis with breakfast, Patch and I sneak out in back of my cottage and put up the hammock I bought the night before. She likes to read, and I thought that would be a good addition to the back yard. I found an old barrel in the equipment shed, washed it off, and put it out beside the hammock. It’s good enough to hold a box of tissues, a drink, maybe some sunglasses, her tablet while she’s getting in and out of the hammock, things like that. It’s all fixed up as a place where she can relax, and it’s big enough for two, so if she wants me to join her, I can. One end is anchored to the side of the cottage and the other to the huge tree behind it, turned so anyone lying in it is looking up into the tree. I decide I’ll get a couple of lawn chairs too. That would be nice.

When breakfast is finished and we head back to the cottage, I take her around the back and show her what I’ve done. Her jaw drops and she turns to stare at me. “Oh, Darius. Oh my gosh, this is amazing! I can’t wait to read out here!”

“Well, get to readin’, ’cause I’m gonna help Reboot with the boat for a few hours. I figured this way you’d have time to break it in properly.”

“Oh, this is so great! Oh, thank you, baby! You’re so sweet. You’re so good to me! My own little reading spot! I love it. Oh, I’m gonna get me some tea and my tablet and get out here and get to readin’!” she crows and prances back toward the front door. I just stand there and bask in my amazingness. Look at me. I’m a prince, a prince of a boyfriend. I’m the world’s best boyfriend. Yep. That’s me. World’s best boyfriend.

About ten thirty, I hear something and look up to see Lisa drive up with Paddy’s boys. I didn’t know they were coming this weekend, but that’s okay. Paddy’s up to his elbows in grease, and something tells me from the look on his face that he didn’t know they were coming either. “I’ll be back,” he says and lays down the wrench he was holding.

Sure enough, in about thirty minutes, he’s back. “Everything okay?” Patch asks as he helps me hold the carpet I’m tacking onto the trailer skid.

“She and Luke had a big fight. She came here with the boys to… I don’t know what she’s thinking. Natalie’s in the shower, but she’s going to talk to Lisa when she gets out. I’m not sure what’s happening here.”

“Doesn’t sound good,” I say.

“Doesn’t look good either,” Bulldog adds.

Paddy stands there for a minute, still looking in the direction of Lisa’s car. “Yeah. Well, we’re going to find out.” Something’s up, that’s for sure.

I only work on the trailer for about another hour after lunch―got the skids done, so I’ll await further instructions, I suppose―and I wander to the cottage to shower and dress. One look out the back window tells me Aggie’s in the hammock, gently swaying, her tablet in her hands, its bottom edge resting on her belly. Lord only knows what she’s reading.

We spend the rest of the weekend having such a good time, with one exception. Natalie starts to dig, and the more she finds out, the worse things look. From what she can tell, Lisa and Luke have been having a rough time for a while, and it’s sounding more and more like she wants Paddy to take the boys. When Natalie finally pins her down, she says that’s why she’s tried for years to get him to let them into his life. She knew she’d eventually be leaving Luke, but she had no one to take them. With Paddy and Natalie in the picture, she feels like she can finally do that. And according to Natalie, she doesn’t want to move to the area. That means she’s planning to leave the boys here at some point. I foresee a long conversation between all of us in the near future.

Sure enough, when she leaves on Sunday, she leaves the boys behind. Patch calls us all together at seven that evening, without the boys―they’re sitting in Fiona’s cottage, playing video games. When everybody’s in the lodge, Patch stands. “We all know what’s going on. Let’s just get this out of the way. Paddy, I can’t speak for every man here, but I’m with you. Whatever you need, you’ll have. You have my full support, mine, Penny’s, and Fiona’s.”

Ghost loses no time in adding, “Ours as well.”

“We’re here for you, buddy,” Reboot chimes up. “Whatever you need, Mavis and I are here.”

As soon as he sits, Hollywood speaks. “Audrey, Taylor, and I welcome the boys. We’ll do everything we can to help them acclimate and help you guys get your footing as parents.”

“We’re going to have our hands full soon, but Tinsley and I will do what we can,” Bulldog assures him. “We want them to feel like part of our family.”

I nod. “We’re here for you, Paddy. This is a big decision, but I think you’re making the right one, and you’ll have our support.” Aggie squeezes my hand, and I know she’s right there with me.

A split second later, Lenny says, “I know I don’t carry the same weight as all of you guys in this group, but―”

Patch interrupts him. “Never say that. You’re just as important as anybody else here, Lenny, you and Sarah both. Your input is just as valuable, and you’re just as much a member of the team as anyone else. You’re always included.”

“Um, thanks. I just wanted to say that I’ve raised kids, and so has Sarah. We stand ready to help any way we can. Just let us know. We’re here for you, Paddy.”

The only one left is Bear, and he finally speaks. “I don’t know anything about kids. I’d never been around them until I met Taylor. But these boys are yours, and you’re my brother, so that makes them my nephews, and I don’t turn away family or turn my back on them. They belong here as much as I do, and I’m here for you if you need me.”

It grows quiet, and then Natalie stands. “Thank you all for standing beside Paddy. I’m going to be real honest here. I never thought I’d be anybody’s mom, but these are his boys, and I love him. I’m going to do the best I can by them. I’m here for the long haul. Never having been a mom, I’m going to need help from the ones of you who have kids, but I’ll do it, no matter what. Reboot and Mavis are going to have a boy coming pretty soon, so we’re all going to have to learn together, but we can do this. I know we can. We’re strongest when we’re together.”

“And we’re all together in this. All of us,” Penny says. “Tinsley may not be in here with everybody else, but I know she feels the same way. This is a family, and we all stick together.”

“Okay.” Patch stands as Natalie takes her seat. “We’ve got two of the big cottages being finished up this weekend. Reboot, Paddy, they’re yours. Get stuff packed up and get ready to move. Until then, Paddy, you and Natalie stay in the lodge with the boys. Reboot, do you know when Martin will be here?”

“They’re telling me probably a couple of weeks. As soon as Steve gets all of my paperwork through the state channels, they’ll make arrangements to get him here.”

“That buys you a little time. Sounds like you can take the second one finished. Okay. We’ve got a plan. Stick to the plan and everything will work. Anybody else got anything?”

“Yeah. Me,” Bulldog says with a lifted hand. “From now on, if we get called out, I’d really appreciate it if one of you ladies would go over and stay with Tinsley. I’m terrified she’s going to go into labor and be alone, and I don’t want that happening. We hadn’t said anything, but Friday was her last day to work. She’s off now until it’s time to go back after the baby. It’s getting close.” He stops, runs his hands over his hair, and glances around. “I’m sorry. I just have to say this out loud where she’s not around. I’m scared shitless.”

“It’s okay. You’ll be fine. You’ll be a great dad,” Hollywood says, and I’m touched. Bulldog treated him so badly early on, but they’ve gotten close, and Hollywood would go to the mat for the bigger man anytime.

“We’ll make sure somebody’s always with her,” Izzy assures him.

“Thanks. I really appreciate it.”

“Anybody else?” Patch asks. Everybody shakes their heads. “Then this meeting is adjourned. Paddy, Natalie, if you need help moving stuff, let us know.”

“I’m going to be gone three nights a week and two days. I’m going to need some help with the boys,” Paddy says, and I’d never thought about that.

“You don’t worry about that. We’ve got you covered,” Patch assures him.

“Hey.” We all turn to find Lenny standing there. “Sarah and I will make it our personal responsibility to take care of them. We’re your grandma and grandpa for them. We’ll get them to school and back, make sure they’ve got the things they need, take care of them. You don’t have to worry about them. When you’re gone, we’ll just go to your cottage and stay so they don’t have to be uprooted. Does that sound okay?”

Paddy’s lower lip quivers a bit when he answers. “Actually, that sounds amazing. Thank you so much.”

He doesn’t get a chance to even move before Sarah’s making her way to him, and when she wraps her arms around him, he sags against her. “It’s okay, honey. We’ve all got you. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

I feel Aggie squeeze my hand again and when I turn to look at her, I can see that she understands. This is a family, and she’s now part of it. That makes me incredibly happy.

I hope it makes her happy too.

Aggie

The next morning, I’m still mulling over everything that happened this weekend. Things change so quickly that it takes my breath away sometimes. I looked at Paddy last night during that meeting. He came there, a damaged, divorced man who hadn’t seen his kids since they were babies, and now he’s going to be raising them with a woman he loves but hasn’t known that long, a woman who’s totally committed to doing just that with him. Boggles the mind, and yet every time something like this happens, I see more of their character, understand a little better who these men are, and I’m more impressed with them. And more in love with the one I have.

It's time for my third period class and when I look around, sure enough, Lashelle’s not here. “I forgot something in the office. Y’all read the first five pages of chapter two and I’ll be right back.” Instead of walking to the office, I turn the opposite direction, hurry down the hallway, out the door at the end, and around the end of the building.

I don’t take more than eight steps and I see them―Lashelle pressed up against the building and CliffMcGuire moving against her. “You two! Cut that out! And you! Get off our grounds! You don’t belong here!”

He doesn’t have his dick out of his pants, but it’s hard and pressing against his fly as he thunders toward me. “What did you say to me, bitch?”

“I said to get off school property. You don’t belong here. Go. Now.”

“Who’s gonna make me?”

“Cliff,” Lashelle cries out, “maybe you should just go!”

“I ain’t goin’ nowhur! I can be whurever I like, and I like bein’ here with you! You get the hell away from me, you nigger whore!” He’s towering over me, threatening me, and I don’t threaten easily.

“You need to shut your mouth and get out of here before the sheriff’s department shows up,” I growl through gritted teeth.

“Oh, like they gonna do anythin’ ’bout me bein’ here. They ain’t gonna do nuthin’.” He turns like he’s leaving, but before I can move, he spins and strikes me across the face. The impact makes me stumble backward, and I fall. “I’m gonna beat the shit outta you, nigger! You ain’t gonna tell me what to do!”

There’s a sound somewhere behind me, and I hear voices. “What’s going on out here? MissHenry!” I hear a woman’s voice and the banging of doors. “Marlene, call nine-one-one! You! Get out of here!” It’s Deborah. She must’ve seen me leave the building. Thank god she came to check on me.

“I’m-a stomp both you bitches!” he screams and comes toward us, but about that time, Ben rounds the corner of the building.

“You! Stop right there! You touch them and I’ll take care of you myself!” He’s on the move, and Cliff starts to run. Ben streaks past us, and Lashelle is standing there, crying like a whipped pup.

“You okay?” Deborah asks me.

“Yeah. He just slapped me across the face.”

“Oh, hell,” she whispers as she looks at me.

“What?”

“The whole corner of your eye, the white part, is bloody. And you’ve got a cut across your cheek. Oh, shit.” I hear sirens in the distance.

“He didn’t mean to hurt you!” Lashelle starts to scream. “Why’d you have to be so mean to him? He didn’t mean to hurt you!”

I glare at the girl. “He would’ve killed me if somebody else hadn’t come along! What’s wrong with you? Can’t you see what kind of person he is? Good lord, social services needs to take you!” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret it, because Lashelle sprints down the drive behind the school and disappears behind the gym.

“Oh, fuck me,” I moan and lay my head down in the grass. My face is killing me. Worse yet is imagining what Darius is going to say when he sees me. When he finds that boy… Oh, shit. I can’t let Darius go back to prison for doing what I know he’s going to want to do.

I hear feet running toward us and in seconds, Ben comes back into view. “Aggie, you okay? He’s gone. Run off down the road. Can you sit up?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just gonna be sore.”

“No. You’re not fine. You’re seeing a doctor,” Deborah says.

“Yeah, I have to say, I second that,” Ben announces.

“What the hell is going on back here?” I hear a male voice ask. Oh, shit. “Aggie! What happened?”

“Cliff McGuire happened.”

Michael is standing there, staring down at me, with his hands on his hips. “What were you doing out here?”

“Lashelle wasn’t in class, so I came out here just to see if she was out here. And he attacked me.”

“You never should’ve come out here by yourself.”

“How was I supposed to know he’d attack me?”

“And he called her the ‘N’ word,” Deborah adds. “I heard him.”

“Jesus Christ. This is a mess.” I hear the sirens stop and in a minute, two deputies come around the back corner of the building, their hands on their weapons. “It’s okay, deputies. He’s gone.”

“Ma’am, are you okay?” one of them asks.

I don’t even get a chance to answer before Deborah shrieks at him, “No! Can’t you see she’s hurt?”

I pat her arm and say, “Deb, honey, calm down.”

“He hurt you! You need to go to the hospital.”

“I don’t want to go to―”

“I’m going to have to insist that you go,” Michael says. “You were hurt on school property.” Oh good lord. I can’t believe this.

“And do you want to press charges?” the other deputy asks.

“No.”

Michael nods. “Yes. She does.”

I shake my head. “No. I don’t.”

“Yes. You do. This may be our only way to keep him away from here,” Michael says, and I know he’s right.

“And what about Lashelle?” I ask, still worried for the girl.

“We’re going to let children’s services deal with that. It’s no longer our problem. And yes―you’re going to the hospital. I’ll take you myself.”

Well, fuck me. I can’t believe this. I was hoping this would be a decent week, but now it’s going to hell on Monday. Can’t wait to see what happens before Friday rolls around.

Three hours later, I’m leaving the hospital. My face has swollen up, my eye is blood red, and the cut didn’t need stitches, thankfully, but they’ve assured me it’ll bruise like a son of a bitch. Michael wants me to take three days off, but I don’t want to. Let the kids see what he did to me, especially any girls who still think they want to have anything to do with him. Maybe they’ll think twice.

By the time we get back to the school, the day is over, so I grab my bag, get in my car, and drive home. I don’t know what to do. If I tell Darius, he’s going to be furious. If I don’t, he’ll really be furious, because if I were him, I would be. So I make a decision and make the call, even though I know he won’t answer because he’s working. Thirty minutes later, my phone rings. “So you talked to Michael?” I ask immediately.

“Yeah. You let me know when you’re headed this way and I’ll have Priest in my office. You can come straight there and talk to him with me present. I think that would be best.”

“Thank you, Patch. I appreciate it.”

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’m just scared what he’ll do or say.”

“I think it’ll be fine, knowing him the way I do. I mean, I know what would happen if he’d been the one attacked. But since it’s you, and he loves you and wants to protect you, I really don’t know how he’s going to react, so I think this is best. Bulldog and Bear will be outside the door if he decides to bolt and try to take things into his own hands. It’ll be fine, Aggie. We’ve got it covered.”

“Thanks.” I look at the clock. “I’ll be there in about thirty minutes.”

“Okay. We’ll be ready. See you then.” And the call ends.

I go to the bathroom, wash my hands, and straighten up my hair a bit. There’s a blade of grass in it, and I fish that out. Odd that nobody at the hospital even noticed that. So much for attention paid.

When I pull up at the farm, I park at the kitchen and walk to the lodge. As promised, Bulldog and Bear are sitting in the main room when I step inside, but before I head down the hallway, Bulldog stands, steps up to me, and hugs me. “It’s gonna be okay, Aggie. I promise.” So why do I feel like I’m headed to the gallows?

My little rap on Patch’s office door is answered with, “Come in,” so I swing it open and take a deep breath.

Darius is sitting on the sofa, and when he sees my face, his jaw drops. In a second, he’s on his feet. “Baby, what happened?”

“Remember that kid I told you about?”

A change comes over his face, something hard and cold. “Yes.”

“I confronted him outside the building this morning.”

“He didn’t.”

“Yeah. He did.”

I see his jaw set and his eyes seem to light afire. “When I get my hands on that little cocksucker―”

“The sheriff’s department is taking care of it. It’s assault. He’ll go to jail for this.”

“So they’ve got him in custody?”

I hear my brain whisper, Oh, shit . “Um, I didn’t say that.”

His eyebrows almost disappear into his hairline and his eyes go wide. “He’s out there somewhere?”

“Baby, they’ll get him. It’s just a matter of―”

There’s a fierceness on his face that I’ve never seen before. “Oh, no. I’ll get that little motherfucker myself.”

“No, you won’t. You’re not going back to jail for the likes of CliffMcGuire. I won’t have it!” I say and stomp my foot. I know it seems childish, but I’m trying to find a way to get my point across, and it’s all I’ve got.

“But he can’t just―”

“No, Priest, he can’t,” Patch says, finally getting into the conversation. “But they’ll get him. There are only so many places he can hide, and then they’ll find him. When they do, that’ll be the end. He assaulted a teacher at a school where he wasn’t even a student. He’s sexually assaulting a teenage girl on a regular basis.” Patch turns to me. “By the way, where is she?”

“For all we know, she’s with him. She ran off in the opposite direction and she didn’t come back, so we have no idea where she is.”

“Well, that’s a fucked-up mess,” he says and falls quiet again.

“Look, babe,” I tell Darius with a hand on his cheek, “I’m fine. Perfectly fine. They’ll find him and when they do, they’ll arrest him and it’ll be over.”

“They’d better find him, because if I find him first―”

“If I find out you’ve been out looking for him, you’re out of here,” Patch says matter-of-factly.

“You’d do that?” Darius asks, turning to Patch.

“I sure as hell would. If you sabotage yourself that way, I’m responsible to all the rest of these men to set an example, and I will do so swiftly and fairly. And that will mean you will have to leave. Not kidding. Do we understand each other?”

“But―”

“No buts. When you came here, we had this agreement. You remember it. No actions. Let law enforcement do its job. That was part of the agreement, and you’re going to abide by it or you’ll have to leave. Do we understand each other?”

Some of the fire leaves his eyes, and I’m relieved. “Just so you know I want to. I want to make sure he’s taken care of and you’re safe. I can’t, but I want to,” he says to me, taking my hand.

“Yes, babe. I know. And I love you for that. But I don’t want you throwing your life away over somebody like that. It’s not worth it.”

He takes a deep breath, then lets it out. “Okay. Fine. I’m fine. It’s fine. I’ll trust all of you to take care of this. And you,” he says, pointing at me. “Don’t go out of that building alone again! And if you see him, don’t approach him. I mean it.”

“Trust me, I won’t. You have my word,” I say, and I mean it. I won’t go near CliffMcGuire ever again.

Never ever.

Priest

I look cool, calm, and collected. Underneath that exterior, I’m anything but.

I’m seething.

A man, a sexual predator, beat up my girlfriend. Yeah, it’s the first time I’ve let myself think of her as my girlfriend, and I’m okay with that. She’s my girlfriend, and he hit her. Hit her . For the first time in years, I feel murderous, like if I were confronted with his presence, I couldn’t contain myself. This is what Patch is afraid of, the fury that lies beneath everything I’ve built. He’s right to be afraid of it. I’m afraid of it.

Not one word has come from my mouth since we left Patch’s office. I saw Bulldog and Bear on the way out. The logic behind their presence does not escape me. I know why they were there, I know what Patch’s thinking was, and I have to say, he was probably right to think that way. I don’t know a man here who wouldn’t go after anybody who hurt his family. He knew that would be my first thought. Part of me is glad he stopped me, but another part wishes he hadn’t.

Aggie is quiet, and that’s probably for the best. Once we’re in the cottage with the door closed, I spin toward her. “What did they say at the hospital about your eye and your face?”

“That it will all drain out and be fine.”

“And you’re taking the rest of the week off, right?”

“No. I’m going to work tomorrow just like every other day.”

“You can’t do that, Aggie.”

“Yes. I can and I will. No punk kid is going to keep me from being with those children. They need me, Darius!”

“And you need to stay alive! At least stay here until they find him.”

“No. I’ve got to go to work. I can’t let him rule my life, and that’s what he wants. I’ll be fine. I’ll stay inside, make sure everybody knows where I am, won’t go anywhere in the building by myself. I’ll be okay.”

To say I’m fuming would be an understatement. She has four more work days before she can come out here and stay for the weekend, and I’m beyond unhappy about that. What can I say that will get her attention? Nothing. Nothing fair anyway. “Please? Aggie, please, I’m begging you, stay here. Don’t go to work this week. I don’t know what else to say except that.”

“I have to, babe. I can’t let this jackass dictate my behavior. I just have to keep on keeping on. It’s the only defense I have.”

Somewhere deep inside, I know she’s right. I know I don’t want her to just back down and be his puppet. But my heart is screaming in fear. “Do you want a future with me?”

She stops short. “What?”

“I asked you, do you want a future with me?”

“Of course I do!”

“We won’t have one if he gets to you.”

She looks like she’s going to cry. “Why can’t you understand that I have to keep going? What kind of message does it send if I just give up?”

“That you want to live.”

We both stand there, a huge canyon opening up between us, and then she steps across it, kisses me lightly, picks up her bag, and walks out. I watch as she walks across the lawn to her car, gets in, and drives away. What just happened here?

I want to call her, but I’m not going to. This is her decision, and I have to honor it, but I don’t have to go along with it. If that’s what she wants, she’s picked. She picked her job and those kids over me, over us. That’s her choice.

And there’s nothing I can do about it.

Bedtime comes around and I almost call her, but instead, I just turn out the light and roll over. I haven’t cried myself to sleep since I was seven years old, but I just might tonight. At least twice I reach for my phone, but I decide that’s a bad idea. It buzzes once, and I wonder if it’s her, but instead, it’s Patch.

Are you okay?

I don’t even know how to answer that.

No.

Three little dots wiggle, and then my phone chimes.

I’m always here if you want to talk.

I just shoot back a quick…

Thanks.

That’s it. I’m going to bed. Nobody understands. All these years of having no one and nothing, and now that I think I finally have what I’ve always wanted, a punk-ass kid is going to take it all from me, and there’s nothing I can do about it. If I try, I lose everything anyway.

There is no win for me here. There’s only heartache.

Aggie

My heart is broken. Have we officially broken up? I’m not even sure. All I know is that I haven’t heard from him in two days. A couple of the women have reached out to me, and so has Patch, but I really don’t know what to say to them.

Tuesday and Wednesday were hell on earth. Now it’s Thursday. They still haven’t seen McGuire anywhere, and Lashelle is nowhere to be found either. I finally break down at lunchtime and send a text.

Hey, can we talk?

After thirty minutes, I decide that the answer must be no. I won’t text him again.

Dinner is a frozen meal and a prepackaged salad in front of my TV. At about eight o’clock, my phone pings, and I grab it, hoping. My hopes are dashed instantly. It’s a text from Mavis.

Tinsley is having Braxton-Hicks again. Isn’t that exciting? I hope this baby comes soon!

I smile, even though I’m no longer part of anything going on out there.

That’s awesome! Tell her I said I’m excited for them. Hope to see you soon.

I see the little dots wiggle on my screen, and then they stop. I guess she wasn’t sure what to say. I know I’m not. What do you say to somebody whose family you thought you were part of, but now you know you never will be? Was I wrong to choose to go back to work instead of staying there? I don’t know. I guess I never will.

Tomorrow is Friday, and then the weekend. I keep hoping he’ll send me a text and ask me if I’m coming for the weekend, but now I know that isn’t going to happen. He’s written me off. The life I thought I was going to have isn’t going to happen now, and in a way, I’m glad I went back to work.

At least I have my job. That’s better than nothing.