Chapter 13

Thirteen

Not being blind or oblivious,I’d known from the start that Theon was beautiful eye candy. I dared anyone to say different. Especially in the soft moonlight, he’d looked mysterious and somehow ethereal, too handsome to be real. I’d felt my breath catch in my throat, unable to tear my eyes away from him.

Tonight, though, tonight made it very obvious he was more than easy on the eyes. He had a heart of gold as well. Theon was always cordial with me, but tonight he’d been downright sweet. I had a severe weakness for men like him. Thoughtful, considerate, supportive men were right up my alley.

If he turned out to be straight, I’d ugly cry. I at least wanted the chance to flirt with him, dammit.

Although I really didn’t think he was straight. Straight guys didn’t offer to escort another man, or giv e them their arm like he’d done. I didn’t think my gaydar was being wishful on that point.

Wait.

Wait a fucking second, that whole moment downstairs had been the moonlit garden trope. Goddamn, I really was in a webtoon, wasn’t I? If I was having webtoon moments, did that mean I was in a romance-esque genre? Please, oh please. I really didn’t like tragedy.

I gave Theon a smile good night, resisted the urge to kiss him, and slipped into my bedroom. Temporary bedroom, at least; I wasn’t sure where I’d end up now that I had a proper work contract in place.

Two feet inside the door, Coin started up.

“Flirt with him, for magic’s sake. You can’t be that slow on the uptake.”

I yanked it out of my pocket and gave it a sharp look. (I wasn’t surprised it had found its way back into my pocket. Resigned, but not surprised.)

“You. You think I should flirt with him?”

“He’s making those wistful eyes at you and you’re not picking up the hint?”

Had he? Damn, I’d missed that? If that were really the case, I’d…wait. Could I trust Coin? That was a very pertinent question, actually. I wasn’t sure if I could. My stare became weighted with suspicion.

“You want to tell me what genre I’m in?”

Coin just laughed, not at all interested in answering. In fact, it seemed amused watching me struggle.

I tossed it into the far corner of the room, smiling as it cursed at me. Fair’s fair. If it wanted to torment me, then I got to torment in return. That was how it worked, right?

Ignoring the cursing and threats against my anatomy, I slid out of my clothes and got ready for bed. All the while, I turned the thought over and over in my mind: was Theon actually interested? Did I dare try to flirt with my boss? Theon was technically that. Logically, it seemed reckless when I barely had my feet wet in this world. Part of me yearned to at least try. I wanted a life partner, someone to care for, someone I could trust.

You know what? I’d sleep on it. If it still felt like a good idea in the morning, then I’d take my chances.

When I wokeup the next morning, I did so with two realizations.

One, Theon was too tempting. I was going to flirt with him and see what happened, but I had to figure out my approach first. I wasn’t sure if people dated the same way on this planet and in this culture, after all.

Two, instruments.

The private school I’d gone to had taught us the basics of a few. If my magic needed music to function, could I use an instrument instead of my voice? Unlike when I was in middle school, I’d actually practice this time.

Intrigued by the thought, I washed and dressed, had breakfast with Ara and Theon, then went out with Ara for another magic lesson. It ran basically as a repeat of the day before, wandering through the fields with me trying to sing. It worked somewhat better today because of my practice last night in the garden. Well, that and I had my cheat sheet of lyrics and songs to use. Still, even with only Ara as an audience, I didn’t feel entirely comfortable. It choked me out.

Dammit, there had to be a better way to do this.

Ara gave my voice a break and sent me home. I gratefully did just that, and the second I arrived back at the castle, I ran into Mrs. Hale. Almost literally—I had to do some fancy footwork to avoid plowing into her.

She jumped, the basket in her hands tilting alarmingly to the side before she righted it. “Oh! Master Jake, you startled me.”

“So sorry. I’m just glad I didn’t knock you over.”

“So am I.” She gave me a sincere smile. “Can I help you with something, Master Jake?”

I almost said no and then rethought it. “If memory serves, I think there’s a music room?”

“Oh, yes. It’s on the second floor. Just to the right of the stairs. Should I show you?”

She was clearly busy, so I waved her off. “I can find it. No worries.”

I left her to whatever she was doing and buzzed up the stairs, intent on proving my thought one way or another. It really was no trouble to find the room. Mrs. Hale’s directions were spot-on. I looked about as I entered, taking in the place. It was a large square room with a fireplace on one side and picture windows letting out over the garden. It wasn’t dusty, but it had that musty sort of feel, like the room didn’t see much use. When people were busy surviving, I bet practicing music fell to the wayside.

I poked about. Instruments in glass cases lined one wall, except the ones too large to fit. There was a piano-looking instrument near the window, what seemed to be guitars and violins hanging on the wall, some flutes and things. Some of them I didn’t recognize, but I wasn’t a music connoisseur.

Out of them all, I was most confident in the piano. I veered toward it, pulled the seat out, sat down, and tried “Chopsticks.”

Look. I never said I was good at the piano, I just said it was what I was most comfortable with.

After getting a feel for the keys, I moved on to other things I had half memorized. I tried calling forth the magic as I did so.

Nada.

I tried again, still nada.

Dammit, fine. Let’s find something else.

I went from instrument to instrument, exhausting what little I knew rather quickly. Fed up, I picked up an instrument I knew nothing about and tried making a single note. Just one, pouring my full intention of divine power through it.

Coin piped up from my pocket, “We’re sorry, the divine power you’re seeking to employ is out of order. Please put the instrument down and try again.”

This fucker, seriously…I wanted to throw it out the window. I might have, if not for the fact I knew it would be back in, like, five seconds. Waste of energy.

Instead, I put the instrument on the coffee table and flopped onto the floor. Nice cushy carpet in here. It let me stare up at the ceiling—which had a beautiful mural of a forest scene—and contemplate my life choices. Strange, I’d never thought the life choice that would bite me most in the ass was “picking up a shiny,” but it did somehow suit me. Crow brain was never to be trusted.

“Um, Jake?”

I didn’t budge, just wearily answered Coin. “What?”

“Is singing really that hard for you?”

A memory of my mother harshly telling me to shut up echoed through my mind. I winced a little. Thanks for that, brain, I didn’t want to recall that just now. “It’s not easy.”

“But you had an easy life, didn’t you? A privileged one. You should have been happy, and happy people sing.”

“Wow, you made a lot of assumptions there. My home was not happy. My married life was hell. I was chastised whenever I sang or even hummed. In fact, my parents considered the arts a waste of time and only let me learn enough so I wasn’t an embarrassment in their social circles.”

I’d never understood it, personally. But entertainment of any sort wasn’t allowed in my household—no songs, no storybooks, nothing like that. The house I grew up in always felt like a museum, all echoing cold. Sometimes, remembering it, I still felt the coldness that had seeped into my very marrow. Even now, after I’d fully escaped them, I still felt their reproval. Every single time I opened my mouth, some part of me was braced for a smack on the back of the head. It was hard to get my voice to come out, to force it through a throat that wanted to clamp shut.

Coin was silent for a long second. “Should I do something terrible to your parents?”

“Don’t fucking tempt me,” I said with a sigh. Although I appreciated the offer. There were times when I felt like bad karma deserved to screw their lives up. In fact… “Let me put that offer in a back pocket. I might take you up on it.”

“I know you’re upset with me for bringing you here without consent, but I really did you a favor, Jake. You can be happy here. There’s magic and joy to be had. All you have to do is grasp it. And haven’t you always wanted to build your own business from the ground up?”

I had. I’d made no secret of that. It’d factored into why I’d left the family business behind. I’d wanted to make my own way in the world.

That said… “You’re still not forgiven.”

“Aww!”

“Don’t ‘aww’ me. You don’t turn another person’s life topsy-turvy without asking first. That’s basic manners, man.”

The door opened with a quiet snick. I lifted up just enough to see who it was before flopping back down. “Hi, Theon.”

“Hi.”

Man sounded cautious. I didn’t blame him; I was something of an emotional wreck at the moment. I really, truly wanted to help. I did. I felt so bad for these people, and they’d been so good to me, I just wanted to use the ability I’d been given. But doing so pushed at a lot of sore memories and trauma I hadn’t dealt with, and it was hard. Not to mention increasingly frustrating.

To my surprise, Theon flopped onto the ground next to me, propped up on one elbow, those golden eyes studying me without revealing the thoughts behind them.

“Doing okay?”

“I dunno.” I should probably get up and pretend to be a functioning adult, but I didn’t wanna. “I thought maybe I could play an instrument and have my power work, but it was a no-go. Failure to launch.”

“Ah. My offer still stands for me to play for you.”

I turned my head—more of a flop, really—to look at him. He was such a sweetie, this man. “I’ll take you up on it. Frankly, Theon, I need you. I don’t think I can do this on my own.”

A warm smile crossed his face, and he was unfairly beautiful looking like that. I had a hard time maintaining eye contact.

“Then you have me,” he responded simply. “Do not question that. Are you done for the day? Or do you want to teach me some of the melodies so I can practice?”

What I wouldn’t give for my phone and the internet. Then I could play those songs for him. Unfortunately, he was stuck with my humming abilities and memory. “Just don’t judge my frog voice. I know it’s not easy on the ears.”

Theon reached over, taking my hand in his, the grip both grounding and comforting. His hands were rough with calluses and sent a shiver down my spine. I enjoyed having this man’s hands on me.

“Jake. I care about you. I care that you’re hurting and visibly beating yourself up over this. I don’t want you putting more pressure on yourself. We will practice today only if you’re up for it.”

Why couldn’t I have been married to a man like this? One who was compassionate, and kind, and met me halfway when I needed it. My heart turned gooey when I was around him.

For him, I found the courage to get off the floor and try again. For the man who’d caught me when I fell—literally—into his bed and given me a safe place to get my feet underneath me, I would do many things I wasn’t comfortable with.

I sucked in a breath and sat up. “Okay. Let’s do this thing. You said guitar is your instrument?”

“It is.” Theon smoothly got to his feet, making it look effortless. Then he offered me a hand up. “I learned how to play by ear, so this shouldn’t be too hard. Would it help if I sang with you, too?”

What was this? The man had suddenly developed a halo. He was an angel in disguise, wasn’t he? “Fuck yes.”

Theon laughed, eyes crinkling up in amusement. “Then I’ll learn the words, too. You have some spells written out, I believe? Ara said so.”

“Ara is correct. They’re right here in my pocket.” I still had my hand in his, and honestly I didn’t want to let go. I had to, though. He needed both hands to play. Reluctantly, I pulled free and headed for the couch. Might as well get comfortable while we practiced together.

Theon went to the wall where the guitars hung. “Let me make sure this is in tune first. No sense in starting off on the wrong note.”

“You’re very punny,” I deadpanned.

“Thanks, I do try.”

I still felt uncomfortable singing in front of people, but you know what? Theon wouldn’t judge me. For him, I was determined to sing.