Chapter 28

Eleanor had rearranged the small bookshelf in her room, cleaned her paints and paintbrushes, sorted through her armoire, pulled out the dresses she no longer wore, and changed her attire at least three times. She just couldn't sit still. Nathaniel was coming, but she should have asked when he expected to arrive because waiting for him was far more challenging than she expected. Staring out of the window and hoping to see a sign of him made no sense because her window didn't face the road but the woods.

"My lady," Ashley said upon entering the room. "I have brought you something to eat and drink. Will you take it at your table or the bed?"

Eleanor looked up away from the window. "The bed. I think I'll do a little reading while I wait."

If she could concentrate on reading. She couldn't stop thinking and wondering when Nathaniel would arrive and speak with her brother. Eleanor hadn't said a word to Grant about Nathaniel coming to see him, but he seemed to know that something would happen that day. He dropped hints at breakfast that he believed he would have an important visitor, but she remained silent, fearing he might make himself scarce if he knew it was the duke. Aunt Helen didn't say a word about anything other than asking for things to be passed to her. She was still upset about the previous day and likely wanted them to pander to her until her mood was improved. Unfortunately, Grant rarely went back on his word once he had declared something. The only time he changed his mind was when he realized he had been wrong about trying to pressure Eleanor to marry Lord Langston.

She thought he might give her an earful once she returned from seeing Nathaniel, but he merely said he hoped she achieved whatever it was she wanted to do. It was a remarkable change from how he had behaved for many weeks.

Ashley carefully placed the tray on the bed and held onto the beverage while Eleanor adjusted herself on the bedspread. She sat cross-legged with a selection of books to choose from beside her. They ranged from fantasy to adventure and were usually her favorite books to read when feeling a little bored, but she worried she would not be able to concentrate. Still, she was going to try hard either way.

"More fruits than pastries," Eleanor commented, looking at the tray. "That's unlike you."

Ashley smiled. "Fruits are better for your complexion, my lady," she explained. "It is my duty to ensure you always look your best. We are having a special visitor today, after all."

Eleanor blushed slightly. She had revealed the situation to her lady's maid when she returned from Nathaniel's home. Ashley was pleased for her and promised to pray for the best outcome.

"If you are this way about His Grace coming to see me, I wonder what will happen in the months leading to my wedding," she said.

Eleanor wanted to marry Nathaniel and believed she would. Grant promised he would give Nathaniel a chance to prove he was good for her if she chose him, so it was only a matter of time before her brother understood that her choice was best for her.

"We will use every beauty ritual known to man to prepare you for your wedding, my lady," said Ashley. "From milk baths to oil massages and foods and teas meant to beautify a bride."

Eleanor laughed. "I feel tired already just thinking about it."

"You need only receive—I will do all the work," Ashley informed her. "I hear that warm water first thing in the morning is best for digestion, and oiling your body and hair makes it more youthful. Do you think Queen Esther underwent such things in her preparation to see the King?"

"It was likely that and more," said Eleanor. "She would have been forced to learn the King's culture, customs, tradition, literature, and all the ways to please him. The eunuch assigned to her would have handled her food and beauty arrangements. Having the King choose a maiden under his care would have been good for his reputation."

"Then, shall I be your eunuch?" said Ashley.

Eleanor stared at her in surprise before she threw her head back and laughed. "A eunuch? I assume you know what a eunuch is?"

"A castrated man," Ashley replied. "He might as well be a woman. I am a real woman, so it should be natural for me to oversee your food and beauty regime. May I collect all the books in the library about beauty rituals? I would like to study them."

Ashley didn't enjoy reading complicated books, so it was surprising she was willing to go so far to help Eleanor.

"You can do as you wish," said Eleanor. "I'm interested to see what you learn."

Ashley grinned. "Everyone will be envious of you on your wedding day," she said. "To think I will be the maid of a duchess! Not many have that privilege."

"As long as you do not make me eat odd things and smear strange substances on my body," Eleanor said.

"I would never do anything to harm you," said Ashley. "Although I will admit that some rituals might be uncomfortable, but not harmfully so."

Eleanor wrinkled her nose and reached for a slice of pineapple. "You have me worried already," she replied. "However, I trust you."

Ashley lowered her head. "But you did not trust me enough to accompany you yesterday. I am useless if I am not allowed by your side, my lady."

"I know, but it all happened rather quickly," Eleanor explained. "I noticed the driver testing repairs on the carriage, and it just occurred to me that I needed to see His Grace. I didn't carry a thing with me, not even a shawl. I simply went as I was. I'm a little appalled that I didn't put more thought into my appearance, but it didn't matter in the end."

She just found herself rising to her feet and heading straight to the driver without a word to anyone. Perhaps part of her was worried that if she had waited long enough to speak to her brother or call for her lady's maid to accompany her, she might have changed her mind and never gone to see Nathaniel. The least she could do at the time was inform their surprised butler that she was going to see His Grace.

Ashley smiled. "I'm glad, my lady. Shall I leave you to read in peace? I should begin my research. I believe you might have a spring wedding or perhaps even a winter wedding. I wish to be prepared."

"Inform the butler and housekeeper that I have allowed you to spend as much time in the library as you wish," said Eleanor. "That will be part of your duties to me. I know how strict they can be about such things."

Ashley curtsied. "Thank you, my lady. I will not disappoint you."

She turned and hurried out of the room, giving a little wave before she closed the door. Eleanor laughed and took a peach slice while she selected a book. She couldn't decide, so she closed her eyes, tossed them around a little, and looked for the one furthest away from her.

"Hmm, Gulliver's Travels—Papa's favorite," she muttered.

Pulling the tray closer and being careful not to spill her lemonade, Eleanor plumped her pillows and snuggled against them. She wanted to be as comfortable as possible to hopefully be drawn into the story and forget about the day's important meeting. Thankfully, Grant had opted to stay at home instead of running around as he usually preferred. Aunt Helen was out, which suited Eleanor well. She could only imagine what her aunt would say if she knew Nathaniel would come to see Grant. She would likely put up a fuss despite being warned to keep her distance regarding such matters. She hadn't said a word yet about where she wished to go, which led Eleanor to wonder if she intended to go against Grant's word.

"Well, she does it at her own risk," she murmured.

Grant didn't like people going against his orders, although he might take a gentler approach with their aunt. They both loved her, but one had to maintain boundaries, even with their loved ones. Aunt Helen had crossed many boundaries to get her own way, and there were consequences to that. Being sent away from her family was one of them.

Shaking her head, Eleanor opened to the first page and tried her best to be absorbed into the story. She was ten minutes in when she realized she had read the same page several times. She understood each word, but the sentence held no meaning. She released a sigh and sipped her lemonade, pulling a face when she tasted a significant difference in sugar content. Eleanor was tempted to call her lady's maid but let it be. Perhaps she consumed too many sweet things, which could cause an imbalance of sorts. Too much of one thing wasn't a good practice—that much she understood.

She tried harder to immerse herself in the story, only for her aunt to enter the room unannounced.

"Have you lost your mind?" Aunt Helen demanded.

Sighing, Eleanor set her book aside and resigned herself to another argument. "What is the matter, Aunt?"

"What is the matter?" her aunt repeated. "What is the matter? You go gallivanting off to see a man, and you ask me what is the matter? What were you thinking?"

So, she had found out about the previous day. That was rather quick. Eleanor had to wonder who had seen her and spread the news around. People seemed to have too much time on their hands.

"Where did you come by this news?" Eleanor asked.

"Does it matter when half the ton is aware of your little rendezvous?" Aunt Helen asked. "You went to see His Grace unchaperoned. Why?"

"I wished to speak with him," Eleanor replied. "He came here to see me, but Lord Langston was with us at the time. I decided to call on him instead."

"You have always been a bright girl, Eleanor, but you have clearly lost your mind over this man," her aunt said. "Is this your attempt to ruin your reputation? Unless it is already ruined, and you no longer care? Did all my work to make you a good young woman go to waste?"

"I am not good because I went to see His Grace?" Eleanor clarified. "It's interesting how a single action ruins a woman, yet a man has the right to commit many sins and still hold his head high."

"Men are different," her aunt said. "Do you not understand that?"

"Why?" Eleanor demanded. "Why are they different? Why is the standard for men and women so different? Quite frankly, it is people like you who allow men to get away with many things while pointing the finger at women. Do you not feel any shame for turning on women? Are you not a woman? Or has your need to please men turned you against your own sex?"

Eleanor didn't mean to be so frank, but her aunt needed to see the error of her ways. Their patriarchal society was damaging the reputation of many good women. While some might deserve the consequences of their actions, most women did nothing to deserve how many treated them. Most people traced this disparity back to Adam and Eve, blaming Eve for the fall of Man. That story never sat well with Eleanor. From what she had read, Eve was curious. It was worth noting that her relationship with God was nowhere near as long as Adam's, as she was only created after he named every animal and tree. Her curiosity got the better of her, and the Serpent was able to fool her. He had likely already known her weakness and used it against her. She offered the fruit to Adam, and instead of refusing it, he agreed to eat it. He made the decision to eat the fruit because he was just as tempted. They both fell to temptation, yet people blamed Eve. If men were this weak-minded, they did not deserve to hold such importance in society as they did. Men and women should be equal and appreciated for their differences instead of trying to make one sex appear weaker and more foolish than the other. Society lacked logic, and most couldn't even see it.

"Come to think of it, I think I know precisely what you planned to do when you went to see His Grace," her aunt said confidently.

Eleanor shook her thoughts away and lifted her eyebrows in surprise. "You do?"

"Certainly!" her aunt cried. "You wanted to trap him into marriage, didn't you? Since he has not breathed a word of interest in you to anyone, you sought to hurry the process and cause a scandal where he would have to take responsibility and marry you."

That was a creative plan—Eleanor could appreciate that. However, it had been the furthest thing from her mind.

"That is not it," she told her aunt. "There is no need to trap him when he already likes me."

Her aunt's eyes narrowed. "Indeed?" she replied skeptically. "Then why has he not come to speak to us? Has he proposed, and we just do not know about it? Did he give you some sort of token to show his sincerity?"

"A token?" she asked, confused by what sort of token her aunt spoke of. "Not yet, but—"

Aunt Helen laughed, interrupting her. "You silly, silly girl. His Grace is an older man likely well-versed in seducing young women. He was already married and lost his wife, so perhaps he merely needs a little female companionship. I doubt he is serious about you. Unless he has made you a promise with proof, then I must point out that you are playing with fire and will be burned. You'll be a scorned woman while he continues with his life and moves on to his next target."

That was a horrible thing to say. Eleanor knew none of it was true, but her aunt's words still managed to get under her skin and give her doubts. It was already bad enough that Nathaniel had not arrived yet to speak with Grant about a courtship or possibly a proposal. Nathaniel was not clear about what he needed approval for.

"Hmm, I see my words have shaken you," her aunt said triumphantly. "Good. Let this be your awakening hour. Perhaps it isn't too late to do the right thing and come to your senses. I'm sure Lord Langston will look past how he was treated yesterday and agree to marry you. We should send him a note quickly and apologize about—"

"No," Eleanor said firmly. "I want nothing to do with that man. Besides, I believe His Grace and I will be married, so there is no reason to question his motives or mine. All you need to know is that my integrity is still intact, and all these lies and rumors are none of my concern."

Her aunt scoffed. "When will you cease to be naive?"

"When will you cease to control me and wish to make my life miserable?" Eleanor countered. "I guarantee you that His Grace feels strongly toward me, and I have feelings for him. While I admit there is no official proposal that has taken place, it is only a matter of time before it does."

Aunt Helen stared at her for a moment before she turned around and hunched her back.

"What is the use of talking to you?" she asked. "Why do I put myself through this? I do not do it for myself. I was married and have lived a long life already, but you and your brother still have futures stretching ahead of you. I have done my best to ensure you're both happy and respectable, but you have both come against me as though I am the villain in your story. It's not fair."

Aunt Helen appeared so defeated that Eleanor wanted to go to her and embrace her, but she stayed on the bed. She couldn't decipher if this was just an act or if her aunt was sincere.

"I truly do not wish to keep fighting with you, dear," Aunt Helen continued. "I am so tired of it. You're just as stubborn as your mother, but unlike her, you have chosen to go down the wrong path. I will no longer stand in your way, but I cannot accept this union. Do as you wish."

Aunt Helen never looked at Eleanor once as she spoke, but she saw her use her hand to brush something from her cheek. It seemed she was crying. Eleanor carefully climbed off the bed and placed her beverage on the bedside table before approaching her aunt and taking her hand. Her aunt didn't pull away.

"While I would have loved to have your approval, I understand that you feel strongly enough not to give it," she said. "I just hope that you understand that I know my own mind, and I'm confident that choosing His Grace is the right choice for me."

Aunt Helen still refused to look at her and eventually took her hand away. "I am retiring to the countryside," she informed Eleanor. "Do not invite me to your wedding, for I will not come."

Eleanor lowered her head. Disappointment and hurt sat like heavy boulders on her shoulders. Her aunt was like a parent to her, so to know she would not even try to accept her decision was painful to hear. However, sometimes sacrifices needed to be made for the greater good. Eleanor would soon be with Nathaniel and begin their own family. She loved her aunt and hoped she might change her mind one day, but she wasn't going to hold her breath.

"Very well, Aunt," she finally replied, stepping away.

Aunt Helen partially turned her body toward her but didn't raise her eyes. "I hope you know what you're doing, dear," she said. "I truly hope you do."

With that said, Aunt Helen left the room and quietly closed the door behind her.