Chapter 31

Chapter 31

"Good afternoon, Celestina. What a surprise to see you here," the duke said as he entered the orangery.

Celestina looked up from the plant she had been tending and smirked. "Imagine that, finding me exactly where I am meant to be. I am astounded by your wit and deductive reasoning, Your Grace."

"And I am astounded by your good humour," he replied with a tease in his voice, coming to join her.

She had been busily working away in secret—not on the plants but on her plan to leave. Now, she felt light with relief. Though it was action she would have preferred not to take, it was a decision made, a path forged. There was nothing quite like a plan to lighten the load of worry.

She wouldn't—couldn't—tell Richard, of course. He would try to make her stay, no matter what it meant for him and his reputation. And the truth was that if he asked her, she might very well give in to him. Her love for him had never truly died; she had only told herself it had. And today, it was stronger than it had ever been.

"The day is bright, and summer is coming," she replied. "There is a lot to have good humour about."

"I was teasing, of course," he said. "Though it is a pleasure to see you so happy. It feels like it's been a long time."

He took his place by her side, and she felt a frisson of excitement rush down her spine. It was like the old days when they were children. It was like those days that passed just weeks before when she believed that maybe—just maybe—everything would turn out well.

With him by her side, the storm inside her calmed, the waves of emotion turning into a gentle ripple of love and tranquility. And this might very well be the last time she would have the chance to be with him at all. To share in his company and enjoy his humour.

"It does rather, doesn't it?" she agreed.

"How have you been?" he asked. "I have been wanting to ask, but …"

"But I have not been very receptive," she said.

She sensed rather than saw Richard's discomfort; her attention focused on polishing the dark, glossy leaves of the camellias. It was one of her favourite plants in the entire orangery, and it seemed all the more beautiful when Richard was standing beside her.

He hesitated before he spoke. "I understand your desire to maintain a boundary between us. There is some confusion in our relationship—friends once to duke and his employee. But I hope we can be friends again, Celestina. The social divide between us is not so stark as it is between me and the other staff."

She turned and smiled gently at him, her eyes softening at the sight of him. She would miss him. She'd miss his sweet face, the quiet pleading in his steely grey eyes, and the way his raven hair flopped over his forehead when he was relaxed. She'd miss how he made her laugh and how he made everything feel right . She'd miss his stories, his tales of adventure.

He was right. It had been a long time. In the previous weeks, whenever Richard tried to engage her in conversation, Celestina had pushed him away, refusing to engage. She hadn't wanted to encourage their feelings, thinking it better to stay separate. It was too hard to spend time with him when she knew she couldn't have him.

But now she knew there was very little time left, and she needed to grasp hold of whatever she could and cherish it. This would perhaps be her last chance to be with him at all. Her last chance to share in his company and enjoy his humor. She'd even miss the irritating way he wouldn't leave her alone or the way he fretted about everything. His sternness, his firmness, his kindness, his love.

His love.

Those words stirred her heart again. She was no fool. She saw how he looked at her, gazing at her as if she were the only woman in the world. She had loved him since they were children, and she suspected that his own feelings were ones of great fondness and affection. But she equally knew that it would never work. She could never have him.

She could, however, enjoy this final afternoon with him, embracing it and cementing it into her memory, something she could return to time and again.

"Yes," she replied finally. "We can be friends again. And I've been well enough, thank you. I've been working for this brute of an employer. He works me ragged, and I don't have much time to think."

She glanced sideways at him in time to see the look of horror cross over his face. "Really?" he asked.

Celestina snorted with laughter and bumped her shoulder into his. "No, not really. I'm teasing you, Richard. There's no need to take everything so seriously."

His cheeks reddened slightly, reminding her of when they were children. His cheeks had always been flushed then, whether from the exertion of running through the woods or the embarrassment of being a growing young man.

"Of course, I know that," he said defensively, his shoulders raised and making her laugh again.

"I did not doubt it, Your Grace."

She smirked as she turned her attention to the next plant on her list to tend—the gardenia. She inhaled their beautiful scent, wondering idly who would care for the plants when she was gone. Probably some faceless gardener who Lady Kingsley cared nothing for.

"Yes, you did," he said with a laugh on his lips.

"Yes, you're right." She turned to look at him. "I absolutely did."

"Anyhow," he said offhandedly, "if he is running you ragged, it is probably because you deserve it."

"Or that I'm so exceptionally good at my job that he cannot do without me."

His suppressed smile brightened his face as he avoided her gaze. "Well, there is that, too."

But he will have to , she thought, the realization stabbing at her heart again. How much she'd love to stay here and look after him, even if all she could have was a role in his household and not in his life.

But she couldn't. Edward Willoughby posed too much of a risk to her and her reputation, and in turn, Celestina herself posed too much of a risk to Richard.

The afternoon passed pleasantly, the pair conversing as they had in times gone by. It felt natural like they were made to be together, and Celestina shored it up against her heart, something with which to protect herself in times to come.

"Goodness," Richard said as he glanced out the window. "Look at the time!"

Celestina followed his gaze to find the windows filled with a dusky pink sky. The day was almost over, her final day with her love. It was a bittersweet moment because here, with him, she felt happier than she ever had before. And yet she knew she was about to lose it forever, and all through no fault of her own. Her life had been mapped out for her before she had even been born.

"Time really does slip by when one is enjoying oneself," she said with a sigh, watching the colours of the evening sky shift and morph.

"As delightful as the afternoon has been, I must go and prepare for dinner. If I am late, Mother will never let me hear the end of it."

He let out a laugh as he dashed from the orangery, safe in the mistaken knowledge that he would see her again the following day and the one after that. Celestina watched him go, her heart breaking a little more with every step he took.

"I love you," she whispered as she finally lost sight of him, then she turned and began packing away her things. If she were to leave, at least she could leave the place neat and tidy, everything in order for the next person in charge of the exotic plants.

She slowly made her way to her bedchamber, a hand trailing over the wallpaper. Now that she'd found her way around the house, she'd come to love it like her own. It had a character she would miss, steeped in history but dressed up in the latest mode .

"You should be ashamed of yourself."

Celestina jumped around at the voice, shocked at the words but even more surprised at being cornered in the corridor in such a way. Lady Rebecca glared at her, the light behind her casting her face in shadow. She had her fists clenched by her sides, and Celestina imagined her rage flowing from her eyes like candlelight.

"I beg your pardon?" she snapped, tired of playing to Rebecca's needs and whims. Tired of everything. She wouldn't stand for it any longer, not when she was so close to leaving. At least Rebecca would finally be happy then.

"The way you've thrown yourself at the duke," Rebecca said, her lips twisted in a snide and disgusted expression. "Don't think I haven't noticed you trying to seduce him. It's obvious to all and sundry. Why, even the ton has noticed, and you are not even welcome there any longer!"

Celestina closed her eyes and sighed, a wave of exhaustion washing over her. What a sad end to a treasured afternoon.

"I don't know what you are talking about, My Lady, but I can assure you—"

"You will assure me of nothing," Lady Rebecca snapped. She stepped closer to Celestina, sneering at her. "You are not good enough for him, do you hear me? And Lady Kingsley agrees."

"There's a surprise," Celestina muttered. Richard's mother had never liked her, though she'd never really understood why. She'd always put it down to Lady Kingsley's desire to move up in the world, as she put it.

"He deserves better, not someone tainted like you. You're bad luck through and through."

Celestina scoffed. "Bad—"

"Yes! Your parents are dead," she said, counting it off on her fingers. "Your husband—dead! You're childless, most likely barren, and now you're destitute." Lady Rebecca let out a humourless laugh, throwing her head back. "Do you really expect someone such as the duke to fall for a woman like you?"

"If you would just listen to me for one moment, My Lady," Celestina said firmly, not allowing Rebecca's words to get to her. She smiled as sweetly as she could manage. "You need not worry, My Lady. I have no designs on the duke, and nor have I ever. If there ever was anything, it was not on my end; I promise you that."

The lie smarted, but she allowed it though, for it seemed to calm Rebecca. The muscles in the lady's face softened, relaxing a little at the words.

"Really?" she said.

"Really."

They stared at each other for a stolen moment, Celestina wishing to portray everything to Rebecca through her eyes. Her sadness, her promise. The fact that the duke would soon be Rebecca's and Celestina would not interfere in any way.

Eventually, Lady Rebecca sighed with relief. "Well, thank you, Celestina. I …" She seemed tongue-tied. "I am relieved that you understand."

"I understand perfectly, My Lady. Now, if you don't mind, I'd really like to retire for the evening."

Celestina dashed from the corridor and hurried to her room, not wanting to hear anything more from Lady Rebecca. She didn't think she could stand it, hearing the words of the woman who would soon become wife to the man she loved. It was all too much.