Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Celestina stared up at the ceiling in her bedchamber, wishing the answers would somehow appear. She had been doing so for some time, and before that, her mind searched for a solution while she worked. Still nothing presented itself, and time was ticking quickly away.

With a sudden burst of energy, she got up from the bed, dug out the small wooden box she had hidden beneath it, and opened it. She pulled it out and carefully counted out the one- and two-pound notes. There were a handful of coins too—a few sovereigns, a couple of guineas, a far wider selection of threepences.

She sighed. Though she'd saved every penny from her wages and still had a little from selling her belongings, there was nowhere near enough to pay Edward. She knew that already, of course. This wasn't the first time she had counted the money even that day, let alone in the week and a half since she'd had her meeting with him.

She sat on the bed with the box in her lap, the notes still clasped in her hand. She stared at the floor, too exhausted and numb to be overcome by emotion again. She had tried. Really she had. And now it seemed there was nowhere to turn, nothing to be done.

Unless …

The idea came to her slowly, bit by bit. Why, she'd done it before, so there was no reason she couldn't do it again. And maybe now, this time, she could escape Edward's clutches forever. She dropped the money back in the box, shut the lid with a snap, then slid it back under the bed. Then she jumped up and, barefoot, tiptoed out of her room.

"Sylvia? Are you there?" she asked, knocking on the door to the neighbouring room.

"Come in," she called back.

Celestina turned the handle and slipped inside. Night was beginning to fall, and all the staff had returned to their rooms. Sylvia was undoing the ribbon of her apron and slipping it over her head as Celestina entered.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

Celestina nodded. "I've had an idea. It might be a little … radical, but honestly, Sylvia. I've tried desperately to find a solution and come up with nothing."

The maid looked pained, but she pressed her lips together and nodded. "And you're absolutely certain you will not ask His Grace for help? You know he will offer you anything you ask for."

"No, I don't know that," Celestina bit back. "And it's not that I won't , but that I can't . I wish you could understand that."

"All right, all right," Sylvia said, calming her friend as best she could. She sat on the chair next to the small writing desk in the corner of the room, offering the other to Celestina. It was a far grander room than she'd ever had before, thanks to the duke's fondness for Celestina, and she was grateful for it.

"Tell me your idea, then," she said. "I'm certain it can't be that radical."

"I don't have enough money to pay Edward for his silence, that much is clear."

"Even if you combine my own wages with yours?"

"Even then," Celestina said. "But neither would I expect you to give it."

The moonlight shone brightly through the gap in the drapes, a strip of silver laid across the floor. Celestina played with it with her toes as if she could bend it to her will. If she had that power, maybe she could get herself out of this situation. She didn't look at her maid as she said the next words.

"I do have enough to get far away from London, though."

Sylvia gasped—a reaction that Celestina had been expecting. "Do you mean to run away?" she asked.

Celestina nodded. "I can begin afresh somewhere new. Give myself a different name. I was thinking of Charlotte Hendry. What do you think? Does it suit me?"

She glanced at Sylvia and smiled, hoping the light-hearted comment would win her over, but it hadn't. Sylvia's cheeks had paled, and her eyes were wide.

"But what will you do? How will you survive? I'd wager you only have enough to get away and maybe fend for yourself for a few days, maybe a week or two."

"Perhaps as much as a month," Celestina said. "Though it won't be a problem. I will find work. I am adaptable, hardworking, and determined. I have several skills to which I can turn my hand."

"But you will have no references," Sylvia cried. "And only the worst employers will accept someone with no references, no letter of recommendation."

"True," Celestina said with a nod. But then perhaps I can forge one. After all, the things I say in it will not be lies, as such. They will be the truth, but from my mouth instead of someone else's."

Sylvia winced. "I don't like this idea, Celestina. I'm worried for you."

"There really is no need to be," Celestina said in as bright a voice as she could manage. "After all, this will be an exciting adventure, and I've always wanted to go on an adventure."

"Yes, but—"

"And I do not expect you to join me," Celestina said. She reached over and put a hand on her friend's arm. "You've already done so much for me, Sylvia, and now you are settled here. You are a valuable asset to the household, and the duke knows that. I do not expect you to follow me to God knows where, only to start your life over, yet again."

Sylvia looked stricken. "Would you prefer me to stay behind?"

The silence that followed hung in the air. Celestina had no idea what she ought to say. Of course, she wanted Sylvia to join her. She would always need a friend, and having Sylvia by her side made her feel stronger, better. But she likewise wanted Sylvia to have a life of her own. She had made friends here at Exeter House and settled well into her role. She deserved her own happiness and who knew? One day, she might even find a husband. It was unfair for Celestina to ask her to join her, no matter how much it would wrench her heart to leave her behind.

"Only you can answer that," Celestina said eventually, her voice rasping with emotion. "I want you to make that decision for yourself. I will not ask anything further of you, but I will always value your friendship and support."

Celestina looked deeply into her friend's eyes, trying to read what was hidden beneath them. There was some secret that Sylvia was clinging onto, something Celestina knew nothing of but didn't dare ask about. She deserved something for herself and only herself. Celestina braced herself for the news that Sylvia would stay.

"Of course, I will join you," Sylvia said, and Celestina gasped in surprise. "I will always go wherever you go, at least for as long as you want me as a friend."

"Always," Celestina gushed, a chuckle of relief slipping out from between her lips. "Always."

"And yes, as a matter of fact," Sylvia said. "I think Charlotte Hendry suits you very well indeed."

***

"Another surprise visit!" Walter declared as he opened the door to Sylvia.

She hadn't planned on visiting him again, but after Celestina revealed her plan the day before, Sylvia didn't feel like she had anywhere else she could turn. She would be leaving in a few days, after all, and she desperately wanted to see Walter again before she left.

He was the only reason she would stay, and she did consider it for the briefest of moments. It felt crazy to say it after knowing him briefly, but she was sure she was in love with him. Her affection for him had grown by the day since the moment she had met him, and she had guarded that secret in her heart. He was everything to her, and she would have given up everything for him.

There had been a few times when she had considered telling Celestina. She was her best friend, after all. But now, she was glad she had not. If Celestina had known the truth about her feelings, Sylvia suspected she would never have told her about her plan to leave, and then Sylvia would have been entirely lost. As much as she loved Walter, she knew, deep down, that it would never work. She wouldn't stand a chance to be with a man like Walter.

"I hope you don't mind," she said as he showed her into the offices.

"Of course not. In fact, I'm delighted! It brings a little sunshine to an otherwise dull day."

When she glanced at his face, he did indeed look delighted. She smiled, feeling her heart swell, even though she knew it for what it was—mere politeness. She sat down at his desk as before, her cloak still around her shoulders, and she folded her hands neatly in her lap.

"What can I do for you this time?" he asked as he took his seat. He wore a big grin that made Sylvia smile, and his expression was always bright and welcoming.

"I am afraid I come bearing bad news. With the escalation of Mr Willoughby's threats, Celestina has made rather a rash decision. One that, upon closer consideration this morning, I suspect is her only solution. Unless you have found anything else?"

She looked at him hopefully, but the pity and regret in his eyes told her he did not yet have the evidence required to save them. She lowered her head.

"I am sorry, Sylvia. Truly. But I am so very close; I know it. I just need a little more time."

"We don't have much more time," Sylvia mumbled into her lap. "The moment of reckoning is approaching."

"Tell me the plan," he said plainly.

She looked up at him, wishing she didn't have to say the words. But she owed that much to him. He'd been so very kind to them already.

"We're leaving London."

"But … but where will you go?" Walter asked, his eyes darting over her face.

Sylvia shrugged. "I don't know yet. Away. As far as we can get. We'll start again using new names. I don't want to go. I love … London. But if we cannot beat Edward Willoughby, then we must hide from him."

A tense silence filled the room, and neither looked at the other for a long time. Eventually, in a small voice, Walter said, "Will you return if and when I see Willoughby punished?"

Sylvia nodded. "Most definitely," she said.

"But how will I inform you?" He spoke quickly now, as if his mind was trying to find solutions. "How will you know?"

She looked at him gratefully and smiled. "I will find a way. I am very resourceful when I want to be."

"And how will I know where you are?" Walter asked, desperation seeping into his voice now. "How will I know you are safe?"

"You won't. You must trust that it's true and move on with your life. You have already done so much for us, Walter. There really is no need to follow our path into the next stages of our lives. You saved me from that thug all those months ago, and now you are helping Celestina. Your duty does not extend any further than that."

"Not duty, no," he said, his eyes locked on her now. "But perhaps friendship."

Sylvia swallowed her emotion. To have Walter's friendship meant so very much to her, but she couldn't keep leaning on him as she had done.

"It's time for me to go, Walter. But please, if you find anything—anything at all—in the coming days, let us know as soon as possible. Perhaps, then, we can find a way to stay."

"I will do everything in my power to ensure you don't have to leave, Sylvia. Everything I can."