Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

D inner passed in discomfort. Agnes tried to ignore it as best as she could. Which meant she tried to ignore the duke as best as she could. But she quickly found that feat to be almost impossible.

The tension was palpable. It was all she could think about throughout dinner. And she was sure that the duke felt the same way if the constant glances her way was any indication. Every time their eyes met, she saw the question simmering in his blue eyes.

Was I out of line?

Agnes didn't like her silent answer to his unspoken question so she only looked away every time she spotted it. She knew the truth. He had not been out of line. In fact, he'd reminded her of where they stood with each other and where her focus should lie.

She knew she shouldn't feel like this. This was a completely irrational sensation and yet the only thing simmering in the center of her chest was pure and utter embarrassment.

It serves me right for prying into someone else's life.

Agnes pushed the peas around her plate, unable to stop herself from glancing up at the duke again. Conversation swirled about their heads. Christopher was silent, also pushing his food about his plate as if he couldn't find his appetite. Paul was desperately trying to keep up with the conversation between Lord Reeds and Solomon. Caroline was saying something to the duke that Agnes could not hear, publicly falling back into the role she was meant to play.

The duke wasn't listening, however. Agnes knew that. Every time their eyes met, she knew that his mind was worlds away.

"It was a marvelous dinner, Your Grace," Lady Reeds said once the dessert course was being cleared away. Only then did Agnes realize that she'd hardly eaten a thing. She was still hungry.

"Thank you, my lady," the duke responded gruffly, clearing his throat. "I should pass along your compliments to our cook."

"If you so wish, Your Grace," Lady Reeds responded with a tight smile. "Shall we retire to the parlor? Caroline could play for us once more. Isn't that right, Caroline?"

"Yes, Aunt," Caroline answered with a smile that didn't quite touch her eyes.

"Then perhaps Agnes could pair the playing with her singing," Solomon interjected. "She has a beautiful voice, though she hardly uses it."

"And that is for a reason, Father," Agnes murmured.

Solomon was quick to wave her off. "Nonsense, my dear. I'm sure Lord Christopher would love to hear you sing."

Christopher's only response to that was a small smile.

Agnes felt a pang of pity for the gentleman. It was clear putting up a front of interest for another lady was beginning to wear down on him. But she saw her chance, nonetheless.

"Very well," Agnes conceded with a heavy sigh. "But only if Caroline agrees to sing with me as well."

"Ah, a lady of many talents, is she not, brother?" the duke joined in.

Agnes tried not to look at him. She felt his gaze boring into the side of her face, heating her from her core, but she held on to the last bit of willpower she had left.

"It sounds like we have made our decision then," Lord Reeds stated, rather impatiently getting to his feet. "Let us make for the parlor."

He was the first to leave the room, Lady Reeds on his heels. Agnes felt her breath quicken when the duke stood and made his way over to her.

"Miss," he said, holding out his hand.

She couldn't fight the urge to look at him any longer. Agnes met his eyes, her heart skipping a beat at the intensity of them. She was well aware of the others looking as she slid her hand into his, but they could have been as inconsequential as statues at that moment. It was only her and the duke.

His eyes said many things and nothing at all at the same time. She struggled to decipher what he was trying to say to her without words but, with the audience, she made sure to look away instead.

"Thank you, Your Grace," Agnes remembered to say after a long moment of silence.

He gave her a curt nod, gaze steady. She turned away on unsteady legs and left the room.

Agnes knew that the reason he helped her to a stand was to give Christopher the chance to do so with Caroline. It only made sense. But she couldn't erase the thrill that still trembled through her body when their fingers met. Even now as she made her way to the parlor, hearing the others fall in step behind her, Agnes struggled to chase that feeling away.

Lord and Lady Reeds were already seated within the parlor, murmuring to each other when she entered. Agnes ignored them and made her way over to the pianoforte. Caroline entered a moment after and Agnes noticed only a moment of hesitation from her friend before she too made her way over.

"If you wish not to do this, I am more than willing to cause a scene so that we may both retreat," Agnes murmured to her, partially serious, partially in jest.

Thankfully, Caroline's lips twitched. "There's no need. I am quite looking forward to it, actually. It has been some time since we have performed together."

"Yes, I suppose you're right."

The others got settled in, waiting. Unwittingly, Agnes looked at the duke again, heart skipping a beat. She forced herself to look away.

Caroline began playing as perfectly as she always did. Agnes hesitated. It had been a while since she'd sang for others and those other times had never involved singing for a duke who would not take his eyes off her. It took every effort to ensure her voice didn't crack from her nerves.

Caroline's beautiful playing eased her into it. Agnes closed her eyes and allowed herself to fall into the song. It carried her away and she forgot about everything else. Her pending wedding that would stop at nothing to help fail. Caroline's future. Convincing her parents. The duke.

She forgot it all as she lost herself in the music.

It came to an end as quickly as it began. To her surprise, Agnes felt a pang of loss now that she was finished. She clasped Caroline's hand and, together, they curtsied for their applauding audience.

She decided it was her turn. She was playing the coward, Agnes knew. Her lingering embarrassment at how cold the duke had been to her would not allow her to sit in his presence and pretend she wasn't still bothered by it. So she took the cowardly approach and kept her distance by playing the pianoforte until some time had passed.

Then, unable to take it any longer, she claimed she was feeling tired and escaped.

Agnes hurried to her chambers before Caroline could think to come after her. With the help of the maid, she changed into her nightdress and was under the covers by the time Caroline came knocking on the door. Agnes felt a pang of guilt when she didn't respond, hoping Caroline would take the hint and leave. After a moment, Agnes got her wish.

But she couldn't sleep. No matter how hard she tried, she laid awake until the manor fell utterly quiet, sleep evaded her. And there was only one thing—or rather, one person—on her mind.

"Oh, for God's sake," she muttered, getting out of bed.

This wasn't like her. She wasn't the type to stay up at nights overthinking an uncomfortable interaction. She wasn't the type to labor on a matter for this long, unless it was a difficult mathematical equation she was having trouble figuring out. And even then, it did not keep her from her sleep.

Agnes fetched her robe and left her room, intending to make her way to the kitchen for a glass of milk. She hardly made it to the end of the hallway before she noticed a shadow lingering at the end.

"Caroline?" she called. As soon as the question was out of her mouth, she knew she was wrong. Caroline was not nearly so tall, nor did she stand so still.

Her heart skipped a beat as the shadow came forward.

"Your Grace," she breathed. "What are you doing out here?"

"I was going for a walk," he said gruffly.

Agnes frowned. "Through the manor?"

"Is that so odd?"

"I…suppose not." Agnes stepped to the side, intending to walk by him despite the fact that her legs were suddenly unsteady. "Well, enjoy your walk."

Agnes brushed past him, moving a little slower than she should be. She held her breath, a part of her wanting him to stop her.

"Miss Agnes," came his voice and she was quick to turn around.

"Yes?" she asked, mentally cursing herself for how eager she sounded.

The duke's face was impassive, but his eyes flashed with far too many emotions for her to name. "I should apologize for how curt I was with you earlier."

"There is no need to, Your Grace. You had every right to say what you did."

"Perhaps I had the right to, but it does not mean that I should have. Nor should I have been so cold in my manner of speech. It is quite unbecoming of a duke. And I cannot blame you for being curious about what you'd walked in on."

Agnes hesitated. It wasn't lost on her that they were alone together in the middle of the night, not very far from her chambers. Propriety dictated that they go their separate ways as quickly as possible, lest they were caught.

Right now, Agnes didn't care about propriety. Satisfying her curiosity came first, as it always did.

"Was Her Grace not feeling well tonight?" she asked softly.

The duke sighed softly. He meandered over to the wall, leaning against it as he tucked his hands into his pockets. Agnes had never seen him so…of-guard.

"Mother has not been well for quite some time now."

"What does your physician say?"

He shook his head. "I do not think a physician will be able to help her. She has not been the same since Father's passing."

"Oh." She hesitated. An air of sadness had descended upon the duke so rapidly that Agnes had been wholly unprepared for it. She didn't know how to console someone she barely knew.

As if he sensed her uncertainty, he straightened, pulling his shoulders back. In a second, the duke had returned.

"I do not mean to burden you with my family matters," he said. "I only wished to relieve my guilt by apologizing. I do not think I would have been able to sleep tonight had I not."

Agnes was tempted to continue their conversation. Even though she wasn't sure how to comfort him and didn't know the right words to say to him, she wanted to know more. She wanted to understand why it suddenly seemed as if he was carrying a deep sadness that he could not be rid of.

But the moment had passed and she had no idea how to get it back.

So she nodded. "Believe it or not, Your Grace, that very same reason is why I left my chambers in the first place. I thought to fetch a glass of milk so that I may finally get some rest."

"Guilt?" he asked, but then shook his head. "I find that hard to believe. You have nothing to be guilty for. Perhaps?—"

"I do," she interjected. "Prying is a rather unbecoming habit of mine, you see."

"Ah, I do see. So I shall add that to the list of things to understand about you, Miss Agnes. You are terrified of horses and you love prying into others' lives."

Had it not been for the twinge of humor she detected in his voice, Agnes might have felt offended at that. Instead, she thinned her lips to keep her smile at bay.

"Will I not be able to convince you that I am not terrified of horses?"

"Your scream still echoes in my ear, Miss Agnes. I do not think that is a feat you will be capable of."

"I am capable of many, many things you could not even fathom, Your Grace."

"Oh?"

"And one of those things, is convincing others to do or think what I wish. You should take care not to forget that."

The duke tilted his head to the side, his smile a warm and welcoming smile. "Will I even be able to detect it happening?"

"If you are astute enough."

"Something tells me you do not think that I am."

"Only time will tell."

The duke chuckled and Agnes finally gave in to the urge to laugh as well. But as silence fell over them moments later, she remembered what a precarious position they were putting themselves in. Yes, it was late at night but who was to say Caroline or someone else might not come wandering by because they too could not sleep?

"I think it is best that I return to my chambers, Your Grace," Agnes said, surprised at the reluctance in her voice.

"Without your milk?"

"I will be fine, I'm sure."

The duke nodded. "I bid you goodnight then."

"Goodnight, Your Grace."

She turned away, her joints aching with reluctance. Agnes took a few steps before she looked over her shoulder again.

"Why don't we play pall mall tomorrow, Your Grace?" she asked him.

The duke straightened. She could have sworn she saw a flashing…longing, perhaps? But then it was gone, followed by intrigued. "Pall mall?"

"It is an entertaining way of passing the afternoon, I think," she went on. "And it would be quite convenient if Lord Christopher and Caroline ended up on the same side."

He matched her conspiratorial grin. "Quite convenient indeed."

"I shall look forward to it then." She turned away, then faced him again. "Do not give up on her, Your Grace. She may only need time. And your constant presence may be the only thing keeping her afloat."

With nothing left to say, she turned and continued making her way back to her chambers. She didn't dare turn around but she felt as if she could feel the duke's gaze boring into her all the way. As soon as she was behind the doors of her room, Agnes put a hand to her racing heart, grinning foolishly to herself.

And as she got into bed, she couldn't stop thinking about one fact. If Caroline and Christopher shared sides, then where did that leave her and the duke?