Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

A day spent outdoors was always a day well spent. Yet this particular afternoon felt far more exhilarating than Agnes could have imagined. They ate, they laughed, and they stood by and watched as Christopher and Paul worked hard to get Paul's steed to follow his commands. By the time it was time to leave, Agnes had almost forgotten her initial plan to make Christopher and Caroline spend time together.

She returned to the manor on the back of the duke's horse again, this time in silence. There was not much to be said and yet her mind swam with ways to break the quiet. He'd returned to being the brooding duke that rarely smiled unless he was expected to do so politely and she found herself missing the playful gentleman who had sent her heart to her throat with the race across the meadow.

They arrived at the stables in record time, just as the sun began its descent.

"This was a wonderful day, Your Grace," said Caroline as soon as they were all dismounted. Ever the polite one, she was. She took every opportunity she could to put herself in the expected position by the duke's side, engaging him even though Agnes could tell that her heart was not in it.

"It is my brother you should thank," the duke responded. "He was the one who regaled us with his skill."

"But it was you who suggested that we make this into a picnic," Caroline went on. "I do hope we could do it again."

The duke glanced at Agnes. It was brief, so quick that she would have missed it if she hadn't been staring at him. But it was enough to send her breathing hitching in her throat, her heart thudding painfully in her chest. She couldn't tell if it was the look or what she saw in his eyes that flustered her so.

Agnes stepped away. She didn't want to hear his response. She didn't even spare Christopher a cursory glance before she turned and headed out of the stables without a word. Caroline was sure to question her about it later. Perhaps she would even say that she was rude. Right now, the only thing Agnes cared about was getting herself under control.

She put a hand to her racing heart as she quickly left the stables and headed into the manor. She was so focused on getting to the safety of her chambers—perhaps to calm herself before Caroline inevitably found her—that she didn't notice that was someone was in her path until she was nearly upon them.

"Oh!" she gasped, looking up to see her mother staring her down. "Mother, I didn't see you there."

"I can see that." Mary tilted her head to the side, regarding Agnes evenly. "Why the hurry, Agnes? Did something happen?"

"Oh, nothing at all," Agnes said a little too quickly. "I am just a bit tired so I am hoping to get some rest before it becomes time to prepare for dinner."

Mary only narrowed her eyes. "I can tell when you are not telling me the truth, young lady."

Agnes could have laughed at the irony of those words if she hadn't known better than to laugh in her mother's face. "I assure you, nothing is wrong, Mother. What of you? How was your day?"

Agnes slipped her arm through her mother's in an amicable manner, hoping that would be enough to distract her from her line of questioning. It worked.

"Quite peaceful, I must say," Mary replied after a moment. "When we were informed of your outing with the duke and his brother, we took the opportunity to have tea in the gardens with Her Grace and Lord and Lady Reeds."

"Sounds positively riveting, Mother," Agnes said.

"It was rather interesting. Lord and Lady Reeds have made it no secret how happy they are to have secured such a match for their niece."

Agnes kept her face as still as she could, knowing how well her mother could read her expressions. "Anyone would be happy to secure a match with a wealthy duke. But it is Caroline's happiness that matters, is it not?"

"Yes, well in this case it is one and the same. She seems quite pleased to be courted by the duke."

Yes, but that is because Caroline has grown rather good at pretending her feelings do not matter.

The thought brought on a wave of sadness. Suddenly, Agnes wished she could confide in her mother. She wished she could tell her all about Caroline's love for Christopher and that there would be no wedding between her and the duke. But that would also mean telling her that there would be no wedding between Agnes and Christopher. And she didn't know how her parents were going to react to that just yet…

No, she couldn't say anything. She had to bide her time and wait until the moment was right. Once the others saw what a lovely match Caroline and Christopher made, and how happy they made each other, they would have no choice but to agree with the match.

She hoped.

"Her Grace seems rather odd, however," Mary continued in a hush whisper.

Agnes tucked her straying thoughts aside as she tilted her head closer to her mother. She was not one for gossip, but she had been thinking the same thing when she'd arrived. "Odd in what manner?" she asked softly.

Mary touched Agnes on her hand as she murmured, "She seems rather…despondent. As if she is hardly present. During tea she could only respond with ‘hm' and ‘quite so'."

"Perhaps she is tired?"'

"Tired since the moment we arrived?" Mary shook her head, a frown touching her brows. "I do not think so. I believe it may have something to do with the rumors surrounding the late duke's death."

Agnes matched her mother's frown. She hadn't thought much about the duke's death. She'd assumed that he passed away like many other aged gentlemen in England—from old age or sickness.

Before she could ask, Mary shook her head and said, "Oh, would you listen to me? I should not be gossiping about our hostess in such an ungrateful manner. It is none of my business."

"I suppose," Agnes agreed reluctantly but her mind lingered on her mother's words. Was that the reason why the duke acted the way that he did? He was always so serious, as if the world was on his shoulders. Did it have anything to do with his late father's death and his mother's state of mind?

All of a sudden, the duke was the only thing she could think about. And that conundrum was what she had been escaping to her chambers for in the first place.

Thankfully, Mary turned the conversation to simpler matters that helped to distract Agnes the rest of the way to her chambers. But the moment she was alone again, the duke came racing back to the forefront of her mind.

She thought of the way it felt riding behind him, her ear pressed against his back as the wind raced through her hair. She'd blamed the racing of her heart on the thrilling ride but now that she was alone, Agnes knew better. It had far more to do with the fact that she had her arms around the duke like a lover's embrace.

You are silly for thinking that it has anything to do with the duke himself, she chastised herself, walking over to the window to cool her flushed cheeks. You are simply reacting to your environment. That is all.

Agnes barely had a chance to come to terms with her explanation before the door burst open and Caroline came rushing in. Her friend paused at the threshold for a second, scanning the room, and the moment her eyes landed on Agnes she raced over.

"Agnes!" she gushed, coming to her side. "Are you all right?"

Fixing a smile on her face, Agnes said, "You needn't hurry over, Caroline. I am quite fine."

Caroline stared at her for a moment, then frowned stubbornly. "I've known you all my life, Agnes. I know when you are quite fine. You raced out of the stables without so much as a goodbye to the duke and Lord Christopher so you are not fine."

Agnes tried not to sigh. She loved how well Caroline knew her. Right now, it was a bit of a bother. "All right, I…I simply grew a bit flustered."

Caroline's frown deepened. "Flustered? You?"

"Yes, is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes," she answered without hesitation.

Agnes couldn't help but laugh. "Well, I had spent half the day atop a horse trying to pretend I wasn't terrified so I think I should be given this instance."

"Well…I suppose that's true." Her frown gave way to a bright smile. "Wasn't this afternoon fun, though?"

"Fun, yes," Agnes agreed with a sigh. "Tiring, as well."

"There's no doubt about that. Do you think we have time for a nap before dinner?"

"We shall have to make time," Agnes stated. She made her way over to the bed, Caroline on her heels. Together, they collapsed on top, curling into the pillows. Now that she was lying down, Agnes could already feel exhaustion pulling at the back of her eyes.

"Agnes?" Caroline called, pulling Agnes from the call of sleep.

"Hm?" she murmured, her eyes closed.

Caroline paused long enough for Agnes to open one eye and look at her. Her friend was staring up at the ceiling. At last, she said, "Do you think we stand a chance of being happy in our marriages?"

The melancholy in her voice tore at Agnes' heart. Without thinking, she reached out to take her hand. "I shall make sure of it."

Caroline said nothing. And Agnes fell asleep thinking about all the ways she could ensure that Caroline never had to ask her that question again.

Johnathan lost himself in his work. It was the only thing he could do to keep his mind off everything that happened during the afternoon. The intention had been clear of course. Do whatever he could to push Miss Caroline and Christopher closer together. But halfway through, those intentions grew muddled with other wants he didn't want to give himself time to think about.

Luckily there was a lot of work to be done in the little time he had before dinner. By the time Johnathan looked at his grandfather clock, he realized he'd been going at it for far too long. He had to freshen up before making his way to the dining room.

The moment he stepped away from his desk, the worries and pressures that came along with managing his ledgers disappeared and Miss Agnes was all that filled his mind. Even as he donned cleaner clothes and restyled his hair, it was Miss Agnes he thought about.

Her screech in his ear. Her scent when she was close. The way she narrowed her eyes at him in immediate distrust. Her laughter.

Goodness, he was not at all focused, was he?

Johnathan made his way to the drawing room, surprised to see that his mother was the only one present. She hardly glanced up at his entrance.

"Mother," he greeted.

She said nothing. She sipped on tea, though why she was doing such a thing at this hour was odd enough. Johnathan scratched the back of his head, uncomfortable.

He hated seeing her like this. All he could see was a shell of the lady she'd once been, someone who wore the title of Duchess of Claymore with pride. But after his father died…

The duchess disappeared. Irene disappeared. His mother disappeared.

Johnathan claimed the seat across from her, studying her. She paid him no mind.

"It has been some time since we've been alone, has it not?" he asked amiably. "I do not think we've talked in some time."

"Hm."

"How was your day? Mrs. Adams informed me that you had tea with our guests. Did you enjoy it?"

"Quite so."

Johnathan thinned his lips. She wouldn't even look at him! His frustration was mounting by the second. "Mother, if you are not feeling up to dinner, perhaps it would be best if you retired to your chambers."

At last, Irene's eyes flickered to him. "Am I not to eat like everyone else?"

"Certainly. But you do not seem to be in the mood for company."

"I am fine."

"You are not," he insisted. "You have not been fine for some time now. Not since?—"

"Don't you dare speak his name!" Irene hissed, her eyes flashing with fury.

Johnathan felt that same anger rise up to choke him. "He was my father. I have every right to speak his name."

Irene glared at him. And then her bottom lip began to wobble right before tears filled her eyes. Johnathan felt the rage rush right out of him.

"Mother, I didn't mean?—"

She shot to her feet. "Perhaps you are right. Perhaps I should have my dinner in my chambers."

Johnathan stood as she began making her way to the door. "Mother, please, have dinner with us."

But she didn't respond. She only picked up her skirt and hurried to the door as if she could not get out of the room fast enough.

The door opened just before she could get out. Miss Agnes and Miss Caroline appeared, both looking startled at the sight of the dowager duchess.

"Pardon me, Your Grace," Miss Agnes said, stepping out of Irene's way.

Irene gave her no response. She ducked her head and hurried out the door, leaving the two ladies gaping after her.

Miss Caroline was the first to recover, clearly assuming that they were being rude by staring. She turned to Johnathan with a smile. "Good evening, Your Grace," she greeted.

"Good evening," he managed to say despite the lump rapidly forming in his throat. He couldn't even look at Miss Agnes. He didn't want to see how quickly she'd deduced what might have happened moments before she arrived.

An uncomfortable silence stretched across the room. Johnathan did what he always did best whenever he didn't know what to do or say in a situation. He removed himself altogether.

He made his way over to the sideboard, suddenly needing a drink to get through the rest of the night. Behind him, he heard the ladies whispering to each other. He loathed to think what they might be saying about his mother's odd behavior.

To his relief, Lord and Lady Sutton arrived moments later, with Mr. Parsons right behind them. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and sipped the harsh liquor as he listened to the murmurs of conversation behind him. It was rude not to acknowledge the entrance of his guests. He knew that. But he also knew that he stood no chance of entertaining a proper conversation with anyone when the pain of his past was rearing its ugly head again.

Lord and Lady Reeds arrived soon after, then Christopher. Johnathan still couldn't bring himself to face them. The embarrassment at being caught in such a sensitive situation was one thing, lingering in the back of his mind. The shame at the reality of his situation was something else entirely.

"At this rate, Your Grace, you will be quite in your cups by the time the first course is served."

His heartbeat tripled in his chest. Johnathan took every measure he could to steel himself, to prepare for the beautiful pair of brown eyes that were no doubt stripping him bare by the second.

"Is something the matter?" she asked softly, so close that her scent swam around him.

Johnathan waited until he'd got his breathing under control before he turned to her. He'd already braced himself for his reaction to her steady gaze. But he was wholly unprepared for the intensity of it, like a punch to the gut that knocked the wind from his lungs.

"Nothing is the matter," he mumbled, forcing himself to look away. The other guests had gathered together—Lord and Lady Reeds talking with Lord and Lady Sutton, Mr. Parsons, Christopher, Caroline on the other end of the room.

"I am good at detecting lies, Your Grace," she responded simply. "And you are not very good at telling them."

"If I am lying then perhaps that should be enough indication that it is a matter I do not wish to speak with you about."

The words came out a little more sharply than he expected. He released a slow breath, fighting the wave of shame he felt at how he addressed her.

"Forgive me?—"

"There's no need for apologies, Your Grace," she responded easily. "You are right. It does not concern me."

"That is not what I meant?—"

"What does concern me, however, is Caroline's wellbeing." She clasped her hands before her, turning her steady gaze to the side of the room where Miss Caroline stood. "And I do believe I have thought of a way to convince everyone that they should be a match."

Johnathan hesitated. He didn't miss the hint of cold distance in her tone. But he supposed that was what he deserved after he'd so plainly pushed her away.

"What is that?" he asked at last.

She opened her mouth to respond but was interrupted by the butler appearing at the door.

"Dinner is served," the butler announced before sliding back out.

Miss Agnes looked up at him. "Shall we?"

All he could do was nod and follow her lead out the room.