Chapter 39

CHAPTER 39

M arina's father tried to protest when she asked to use the carriage. He did not know the specifics, but he knew that his daughter was not one to offer her forgiveness readily or easily.

"My concern is that you are making a rash decision, Marina. I do not wish for you to feel pressure to remain in this marriage if it makes you unhappy. I should never?—"

"Papa!" Marina reached out to touch his arm. "You and Mama raised me to make smart, sound decisions. I have not yet made one. We are going to see something which Phillip thinks will help me to make one." She gave him a gentle smile. "Do not fret. I will return here and explain soon. I promise."

The Earl turned and gave Phillip a long, angry look while Olivia came to Marina to give her a tight hug. They did not need to exchange words; Olivia wished her sister the best and hoped that she would get to her destination with a sound mind.

Marina and Phillip spent the first half of their carriage ride in silence. They each wanted to reach out but were unsure how to speak to one another until the Duke, at least, bridged the gap.

"There are no other women," he said plainly. Marina's eyes widened as she looked at him. It pained him to see the disbelief on her face. What, exactly, he wondered, had the scandal sheets printed about him? Then, he felt the familiar flicker of betrayal flare up within his heart. It was evidently not the gossip that had convinced her, but his own flesh and blood come to visit her for the express purpose of ruining her opinion of him.

"Phillip, there is no need to continue to lie to me about it. I do not need to know about your exploits in detail, but, surely, we can come to a compromise and agree not to pretend."

"Marina, I do not wish to conceal the truth from you."

She seemed to become exasperated then she heaved a great sigh and turned her face so that she did not have to look at him. "You are seldom at home when you ought to be. You keep irregular hours. You have a long history of rakish behavior that is known to every soul in London. And…you push me away each time we grow close enough to touch. You may be six years my senior, but I am not a babe. I know what an affair looks like."

Phillip could not help but smile, turning his head to hide his amusement from her. "My history of rakish behavior?"

"Of course. Your own uncle is known to brag about your exploits whenever he gets the chance."

Phillip's mood soured again immediately. "Have you not learned by now that my uncle is not a worthy source of information?" he snapped. "My past does not define who I am today, Marina, even if the rumors you speak of were true. I barely spoke to my uncle while I was away. He sent money, but he was too afraid of upsetting my father to write or visit me, lest he be caught. Any exploits he spoke of were purely of his own imagination. I have no reason to welcome you into my home only to sully your reputation. There is no point in being a duke if the entire ton looks down upon the poor duchess whose husband cannot be loyal. Think, for a moment, Marina. Of what you know of my parents."

Marina gave a small gasp. "You would not do to me what your father tried to do to your mother," she agreed quietly. "But your schedule?—"

"I am taking you to see what I have been doing while I am not home presently."

"Your behavior when we?—"

"I have been…avoiding intimacy with you, yes. Not because I am finding it elsewhere, Marina. Because I?—"

The carriage came to a jolting stop, and Phillip instinctively reached out to hold Marina in place by her shoulders as she was jostled about.

"Are you hurt?" he demanded, looking her over for any signs of injury.

"I'm not," she answered quietly, her eyes locked on his. It was only then that he realized just how close they were in the carriage and sat back, giving her space. Phillip glanced at the pinkness that had arisen on her cheeks, and he did not show it, but her blush gave him a spark of hope. Perhaps he had not yet lost her after all.

As they exited the carriage, Phillip put his hands on his hips and looked proudly at the country manor before them. It was not as large as their home, but it was large for a house in the country. It sat at the top of a short hill, overlooking a lake and a field of wildflowers. Marina could hear the chatter of chickens mulling around in the yard and the babbling of a nearby brook. It was picturesque. She could clearly envision herself spending the fall and winter months here, taking long walks next to the water, and bringing her siblings here to swim during the summer.

"What is this place?" she asked.

"Yours," Phillip answered, watching her with a proud smile. She whirled around to look at him.

"Mine?"

He nodded. "I have been looking for a property. A winter home for us so that we can spend time away from society without going too far from your family. I have another home that I often spend time at in Paris. Originally, I intended to live there full-time. But I have seen how much you care for your siblings, and I could not bring myself to leave you at our estate, cold and alone, nor rip you from those you love so dearly."

"What of the home in Paris?"

"It will be sold by the end of the year. I have two buyers interested. Mathilde thinks that one of your new lady-maids has the stuff to keep the home here and will be coming with us when the weather grows colder to get her started."

"And you did all of this without my knowing?"

Phillip chuckled. "I suppose though I think now that I should have told you. You are sharp, Marina. Very little gets past you. And I know now that if I do not supply you with the information, you may fill in the blanks yourself. Or someone else might. It is not a mistake I will make in the future."

"But in the morning when we were so close, you…"

Phillip fought hard not to grin as he watched Marina's cheeks flush once more with that pretty rose color he had come to adore. Standing before him against the backdrop of a saccharine sky, the setting sun painting candy hues all around her, his feelings were undeniable. It was like looking at a painting. The image so moved him that, for a moment, Phillip could not recall what they were talking about. Not until Marina spoke again.

"Phillip?"

It made him smile. It was the first time she had used his first name since their fight, and he realized just how precious the sound was to him. "What is it?"

"I asked you a question."

"Ah…yes." The expression on his face became more earnest, and he stepped toward her. "You want to know why I have pushed you away since we first met."

"Yes," Marina breathed. "If you are not interested in me in that way, I will understand. I just want to know once and for all what to expect from…our marriage. From you."

"Do you mean to say that you still wish to be married to me? That you still wish to make this work?"

Marina nodded her head slowly. "Of course, I do. I did not run away from our marriage. I left so that I had time to think. Now, knowing that your uncle spoke dishonestly about you, I have more conviction to make this work than ever, but I will only try if that is what you want. I do not intend to chase the affections of a man who does not want mine."

"Marina, it is because I have an enormous amount of affection for you that I could not stand to be too close." He stepped forward, closing the distance between them and laying one hand at her waist and using the other to brush her hair out of her face, so he could see it more clearly. "I did not wish to bring you into my battlefield. I hoped that if I remained aloof, that if I did not entertain my attraction to you, then you would never come close to learning the truth—that I lacked the claim to a title I now know is indubitably mine."

"So, then…?"

"I can no longer run from the truth, Marina. The depth of my feelings for you knows no bounds. As you explained, today, what my uncle said—what he hoped to accomplish in driving you away from me—I must admit that I began to plot my revenge. I wanted his head for the way he tried to ruin my life. For the way he has tried to take from the first thing I have ever had of my own which makes life feel like it can be full of joy again. But as I look at you now, Marina, I know that you were right. What you said before. I cannot allow the poison from the wound he gave me to overcome me. All I want now is to seek that joy, unapologetically, at your side."

"Do you mean that?" Marina asked, her voice hardly above a whisper. Her eyes, Phillip could tell, were filled with love. She searched for the same in his and was overwhelmed with how much she found there.

"I do, Marina. I have had eyes only for you since the moment we met. There has never been another woman. There never will be. Whether you feel the same for me or not."

Marina felt a surge of affection hit her, waiting with bated breath as Phillip leaned down to press his lips to hers. Their first kiss was deeply passionate but equally tender, their affections yielding to one another in a delicate balance, creating a perfect harmony. When they pulled away, Marina gave a small smile and laid her head against Phillip's chest.

"Let us go home, Phillip, and we can begin our married life as if from the beginning again."

"I would love that."