CHAPTER 21

I couldn’t take my mind off Erix no matter how hard I tried to.

Duncan sensed it, so it wasn’t a surprise when he didn’t question me after I asked for us to be alone. My impactful yet brief conversation with Erix had a lasting effect. I couldn’t think of anything worse than sitting before my friends and allies, pretending I could concentrate on the matters of demon gods and death. My mind was shrouded in heavy fog, and I needed a fresh breath to clear it. I longed for a moment of peace, locked behind a closed door, with no need to force a smile or pretend my mind was not preoccupied with other thoughts.

I was satisfied to know that Rafaela’s wound was being seen to. Duncan had assured me that Althea and Gyah would keep a close eye on the matters of Berrow, allowing me time to work through everything that had happened. Not that I really cared for what Kayne was doing, but I asked anyway. He was important to Duncan, which meant he was important to me. Although my inquiry was wasted, as Duncan hadn’t seen Kayne since we arrived back in Berrow. He shrugged as he confirmed it. His response was dismissive and misplaced. Clearly, there was tension between them, and I wasn’t ready to unpack it.

The attack on Imeria and the death that followed did a number on me. Duncan as well. It surprised me that Kayne wasn’t the first one to check on Duncan. Apparently, the ex-Hunter found it more important that the fey people he’d once sworn to hunt were settled in their new homes. There was a part of me that was thankful for him. Kayne provided more of his time to my people than I could have.

“I found this,” Duncan said from the open doorway, leaning against the frame as he inspected a dust-covered bottle in his hand. He scrutinised the dark glass, lifting it close to his face… so close that his green eyes seemed to cross one another. “There is definitely something inside, and the cork hasn’t spoiled. Should be good enough to drink. What do you say, fancy taking a risk with me?”

My chest warmed at the thought of a stiff drink. Not melted ice or water collected from a well in the heart of Berrow that needed boiling before it was safe to ingest.

“Trust you to find wine even in a place like this,” I replied, cheeks prickling at the thought of taking my first swig. I had hopes it would help deal with my tangled thoughts of Erix.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Duncan replied, a grin tugging his lips up at each corner. There was no ignoring the shadows hanging beneath his eyes, the same that also spoiled my face. We were exhausted, but even in this state, the concept of sleep was displeasing. “The rest of the storage I found has been ransacked. By rats or people, maybe both. We shouldn’t let it go to waste.”

“What would Nathanial think if he could see you now? Duncan Rackley, solving problems with a bottle of wine,” I said, vividly remembering how Duncan poached bottles from Abbott Nathanial’s store cupboards as a youth, but more recently during our short stay in the Abbott’s attic room.

“Old habits die as hard as sinful ones,” Duncan mocked, forcing the aged voice of the kind-hearted Abbott.

My smile was short-lived as I remembered Nathanial being torn to pieces before our eyes by the gryvern. And I had just left one to face Rafaela’s judgement. The possibilities of whatever outcome she’d come to haunted my mind.

If Erix was guilty, it would at least solve the issue of who killed Gabrial. And if he was innocent, that person could still be among us.

“Go on, I need something stiff to settle my mind,” I said. “Get to opening it.”

Duncan’s brows rose, a mischievous grin pulling at his lips. “And if it is something stiff that will solve issues, I have a better idea of what can be offered.”

I didn’t react to Duncan quick enough. By the time I dragged myself out of my mind somewhat and plastered on a fake smile, it was too late. His dark brows furrowed, painting concern across his handsome face. “Ah, I think I’ve overstepped.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, dropping my chin in defeat to my chest.

“Don’t be.” Duncan towered above me as I slouched in a moth-eaten chair. The fabric had certainly seen better days and smelt like damp mould. But at least I was able to make myself sit in one place and not pace around, like I wanted to do. “Here, you need this more than me.”

Duncan bit his teeth down on the edge of the cork and tugged. The pop was satisfying. So was the spray of red liquid that escaped onto his lips. One swipe of his tongue and the droplets were gone. He pulled a face, dramatically widening his eyes. I watched as he determined if the taste was good enough.

“Has it spoiled?”

“It’ll do,” Duncan confirmed, although the furrow of his thick brow suggested otherwise.

With a lack of confidence, but an overwhelming desire to drown out my thoughts, I snatched the bottle and took the longest gulp.

Duncan’s reaction wasn’t misplaced. It tasted vile at first, burning down my throat – something wine shouldn’t do. But the aftertaste was when the flavours of fruit revealed themselves beneath the sharper tang that only age could be blamed for – the buzz spreading through me was exactly what I needed.

“And you’re sure there aren’t any more of these?” I asked, waving the bottle at him like it was a bone to a dog. “This one isn’t going to last long.”

Duncan’s dark curtain of hair had fallen before his eye as he shook his head. He combed his fingers back through it, tucking it neatly behind a curved ear. “Just the one, so make it last, darling.”

“How unfortunate,” I replied, knocking back another gulp, not caring for the dribble that escaped down the side of my mouth, coating my chin in sticky, red liquid.

“Do you want to talk to me about it?”

I shrugged, not sure where to even begin. “We don’t need to.”

“But we can. Share the burden I can see haunting your mind.” Duncan urged my knees apart with his legs until he stood between them. Then he knelt. Groaning slightly as his knees met the cold, hard floor of the room. He was just shy of eye height in this position. It gave me no excuse but to look at him. “This is what I’m here for, darling. Allow me to shoulder some of your woes.”

I knew this was coming. I was just glad I had some rush of wine to aid me in picking a worry to start with.

“It feels wrong not acknowledging Seraphine and the Asps’ deaths,” I admitted, still hearing Gyah’s comment ringing in my head. No one grieves an assassin.

“What happened was not your fault.”

“Then whose?” I asked. “If I had not gone to see them, then they would be alive.”

Duncan’s fingers dug into my thighs. It was a pleasant grip, one that sent a shiver up my spine. “There is no good taking the blame for another’s actions. Robin, I don’t want to hear you take it again.”

“But it’s true. They died because I was there. It is a fact, and I appreciate you trying to say otherwise, but you can’t deny the truth.”

“Those monsters could have taken you, Robin, but from what you described, that wasn’t their purpose. They went to Imeria to destroy it. There is no saying whether your presence at the castle drew them there or if something else did. And until we know, speculating isn’t going to help. I want you – no, I need you to stop putting yourself as the reason for all the bad that happens around you. You didn’t invite the Draeic to Imeria, nor did you command them to do what they did. Seraphine, the Asps, their blood is not on your hands.”

“Perhaps not my hands, but it stains my land,” I replied. “My court.”

There was no good admitting that I still didn’t believe him. Even now, I fixated on Berrow and how my presence here would only bring more danger to these streets. I promised to free and protect the fey who followed me blindly here. My promises of protection and safety should not have been made.

“I wish to honour them. Without the Asps, without Seraphine, there is no saying how life would look right now.”

“Then we shall do just that.” The muscles in Duncan’s jaw tensed as he regarded me with fierce determination. “But first, you need to rest.”

“ First , I need to see that Aldrick dies and Duwar’s name is forgotten alongside him.”

A storm passed over Duncan’s face at the mention of the Hand’s name. Sparks of purple light danced in the dark points of his pupils. “His time will come. That, I can promise.”

We both hated the man for differing reasons. However, even I knew just how Duncan felt, considering it was Aldrick who lied about his birth parents, using the idea of one day getting the name of the person who killed them, when that was something Aldrick never knew.

“Tomorrow, I want a plan.” I sat up, knuckles paling as I gripped the neck of the bottle harder. “Decisions need to be made. We are still steps behind Aldrick, constantly racing to catch him but finding out we are still miles away. I don’t think it is right that we wait. The time to act is now. Especially because the courts are unsafe, I don’t even know if Seraphine got out the message to her Asps across Wychwood before she was…”

I couldn’t say it. Didn’t need to.

Duncan swallowed hard, the lump in his throat bouncing suggestively. “Then that is what we shall do. But tomorrow. It can wait until then. Just because you are not out there, doesn’t mean your allies are not furthering plans. The world doesn’t stop if you do, Robin. For you to be at your best, you need to rest. And this time, promise not to leave me in bed alone.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him about the dreams I met every night. Should I burden Duncan with yet another reason to hold concern for me, or keep him in the dark, just to lighten his own loads? The choice was easy.

“I promise,” I replied, leaning my forehead to his. “No more parting.”

Duncan’s grin had the power to draw away my worries, if only for a fleeting moment. “Good boy. I’m glad we agree on something.”

“Thank you… for making me give Erix a chance to speak,” I said, before quickly taking yet another swig. This was the largest gulp, so much so that I almost hoped the cruel red liquid choked me. It would have saved me from the path the conversation was about to take.

“I didn’t make you do anything. Only encouraged you on a path that I knew was important you took. Closure isn’t something we all get the chance to take, I didn’t want you to waste such an important moment.” Duncan rubbed both hands from my knee and up my thigh. His fingers gripped slightly as though letting me know he was here and not going anywhere. “It was a blessing he was there.”

“I know, but it still takes a moment to get used to the fact that my old lover saved my new lover from certain death.”

Duncan flinched before me.

“Lover?” Duncan questioned, forcing a grin to hide his reaction. “Is that all I am to you?”

“No,” I replied, shifting forward in my seat to lean into him. The movement made my head spin, revealing that the wine had its desired effect on me. “That title is only one on a very long list I have.”

Duncan exhaled through a smile as he forced himself to stand, using his hands against my thighs as leverage. With one confident swipe, the bottle was no longer in my hands. “I understand a lot has happened between Erix and you. But I think it is healthy for this, and this, to consider forgiving him.” Duncan placed a finger on my forehead before moving it to the space above my heart. His touch left a warmth on me as he pulled away. “There is no good to come from carrying hate-fuelled grudges. Believe me, Robin, look how I turned out.”

Empty-handed, I picked at the loose thread on my trousers. It was that or I’d bite at the already ruined skin around my nails. “I don’t hate Erix. Is that what you wish for me to admit to you?”

“Yes, actually it is.”

I gaped, surprised that was his reply. “Why?”

“Because you are far too important to allow such an emotion to poison you.”

I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to snatch the bottle back. “Erix means… meant a lot to me. Another man would feel he had some sort of possessive territory over letting the one they loved spend time alone with the one they had loved before.”

“Trust,” Duncan answered simply. “I trust you implicitly. Respect. I harbour enough respect in your own decisions and the ability to take care of yourself. My job isn’t to suffocate you but to encourage you to act in your best interests. My upbringing was not like that, so it is my duty to carry those lessons with me for the rest of my life. And my pleasure that you are the one I can do that for.”

Duty and pleasure. Those two words sparked another voice to fill my head.

“You are my duty, and my pleasure.”

The urge to touch Duncan overwhelmed me. I needed to act before Erix and his invading presence completely took me hostage. So, I pushed myself from my seat, knees and body aching from the lack of sleep, and melted into his welcoming embrace. I breathed him in deeply. Sandalwood mixed with the newly added tang of red wine. In the dark that waited when I closed my eyes, I could easily picture the attic room with its mounds of books and discarded, empty glass bottles of holy wine. That was his scent. Familiar and warming.

“Any monstrous past lovers you need to warn me about?” I asked in jest, knowing nothing could be worse than a gryvern. “I can’t be the only one with such heavy baggage.”

“You are and will only ever be the one of importance. The rest, nameless and faceless, were simply means to warm my sheets. There is no one from my past that you need to concern yourself with. Well, except Aldrick, although perhaps we leave him out of our conversation for the rest of the day.”

“Oh, come on,” I pleaded, neck aching as I looked up at him and he down at me. “Not even one scary ex-partner?”

Duncan huffed a laugh, his nose screwing up as he leaned in. “As if Kayne would have let them get that close.”

Mood ruined . It was amazing how a single name could draw me away from the moment. Maybe Duncan noticed my reaction, or it was the sudden lift of my hands leaving his back that exposed it.

“I have arranged for some warmed water to be brought here. There wasn’t much, but enough for you to lie and bathe. You can thank Althea when you next see her. What do you say?”

“Are you suggesting I smell?” I asked, painting my expression in mocked offence.

“We both do,” Duncan replied, voice tempered.

“Then let’s hope we can both fit in the tub.”

Duncan tensed beneath my gaze. He took a shuddering breath, deeply inhaling through his nose.

“Where there is a will,” he said, nostrils flaring, hands gripping my thighs with a silent need for me. “And there is a certainly a way with the thoughts currently occupying my head.”

The water was tepid when we’d climbed in, but now it was borderline detrimental, to Duncan at least. I rather liked the cold. It was second nature to me, more comforting than I could explain. Yet Duncan showed no sign that he was bothered. Instead, he pulled my naked body atop him and used me as a blanket as we lounged in the brass tub together.

“One memory keeps surfacing of us in Finstock when you could hardly turn your gaze away from me as I was the one who bathed.”

I laughed, wafting my hands through the cloudy water to create small waves that lapped against Duncan’s muscle-carved leg. “Where else was I to look?”

“Believe me…” Duncan’s cock, which was currently pressed into my lower back as I lay between his legs, twitched. “I would have felt pure jealousy if you had given the brick wall of my old room more attention than you did to me.”

I rolled onto my front, not caring for the rub of our skin nor the splash of tepid water that fell beyond the curved lip of the tub. “Do I even want to know what you thought of me back then?”

“I thought you were trouble,” Duncan replied confidently, one brow raised above his mischievous glare. “And I wasn’t wrong. Not one bit.”

One of the many things I loved about Duncan was how my fingers tangled willingly in the coarse hairs across his chest. When they were wet, the hairs stood out more like a thin carpet of masculinity that set a fire deep in the pit of my belly.

“Interesting. We shared the same first impression then.”

Duncan’s lips parted into an exaggerated O-shape. “Are you telling me you didn’t wish to throw yourself into the tub at that very moment? To have your way with me?”

“Nope,” I said, pouting. “In fact, given the chance, I would’ve frozen the water you submerged beneath and left you for dead. But in hindsight, I would never have discovered the best fuck of my life if I did that.”

“Now that is a compliment. Although Robin, I’m beginning to believe you only require me for one thing.”

“I need you for lots of things, Duncan,” I replied quickly, smirking to myself. “But right now, I want you to pluck me from this tub and take me to bed.”

He had tried his best to distract my mind, and it had worked to an extent. However, there was one thing I was ready for now, and that was to truly be with him. Connected, in flesh and bone, for the final hours of our time alone.

Duncan leaned upward, water sloshing around him. His stomach tensed and hardened into six perfectly compact mounds. He took my face in his hands and added pressure to both cheeks. “Ask me again, but this time do it properly.”

I also loved this side of Duncan. How his joking mannerism could shift to something more powerful and demanding.

“Please…” I began, widening my eyes to give a sense of false innocence. I batted my eyelashes dramatically, looking up through them at him. “Remove me from this bath and take me to bed, pretty please.”

“To sleep?”

I shook my head. “Eventually, but not straight away.”

Duncan didn’t wait for further explanation. He gathered all his strength and composed himself as he moved from beneath me. A wave of water lapped into my face. I laughed, feeling the well of excited glee fill my lungs like air. Suddenly, arms wove beneath me, and greedy fingers dug into my skin. The weightless feeling that followed was pure euphoria. In return for Duncan holding me, I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on for dear life.

My damp thighs did well to grip around his waist and squeeze. His hands, perfectly placed beneath my ass, held me up. Duncan didn’t say a word as he padded from the bathing room, leaving wet footprints on the aged oak floor as he trailed toward the bed chamber. I kept quiet, too, enjoying the easy rhythm our hearts fell into when our naked skin was pressed together.

Only when Duncan stopped, just before the bed within the simply decorated room, did I say a word.

“What are you going to do with me?” I asked, heart practically leaping in my throat.

“Not what you may expect.”

Suddenly, I was in the air, swallowing a scream as my body fell and crashed into the feather-stuffed mattress. It took a moment for the world to still and my mind to catch up with what had happened.

“Did you just… throw me?” I asked, accusation drawing each word out and increasing them in pitch.

“I did.”

I was on my front, with hardly a chance to move, when Duncan’s guiding force overwhelmed me. “Tonight, it is about you.”

There was no time to ask what Duncan meant when rough hands urged my knees apart, allowing a cold breeze to kiss up against the centre of my ass. All I could do was inhale sharply.

I exhaled a guttural moan, his name coming out of me in a breathy pant.

“Take the pillow, Robin, and bite down on it,” Duncan commanded.

I opened my mouth to reply, but only a string of sounds came out. Suddenly, wet fingers were on me. Searching and tracing across my ass cheeks. Duncan urged them apart, trailing a nail around my centre. Around and around, growing closer to the sensitive skin that would turn my body to fire and melt me from the outside in.

“Bite down,” he said, cutting through my weightless pleasure. “Unless you wish for all of Berrow to hear you? I wouldn’t mind if the answer was yes.”

Fire coursed across my chest as excitement bubbled up within me. I did as he asked. Sinking my teeth into the pillow, I bit down hard.

“Good boy,” he praised.

My skin was damp from the bath with Duncan. But it was nothing compared to the wet glaze of Duncan’s spit which glistened across my ass as his tongue lapped at it, like a cat to milk. Over and over, his devouring touch hypnotised me. I was lost in a sea of indulgence. He drew shapes and symbols with his tongue, making sure there wasn’t an inch of skin left unexplored. Now and then, Duncan would introduce the soft graze of his teeth or the sharp suck of his lips as it left a bruise behind.

A mark to claim me – not that one was required. I was his, entirely.

I reached back and gripped his hair, holding him in place as he continued devouring me. My nails scratched his scalp, and I was certain Duncan growled.

There was nothing more I wished, in that moment, than to watch him. I wanted to look at Duncan’s ravenous, spit-slicked face as he ate at me like a piece of the ripest fruit. But I didn’t wish to ruin the moment with movement. I dared not do anything but expel groans into the pillow stuffed between my teeth.

“You taste divine, my darling,” Duncan said. “Do you enjoy when I fuck you with my tongue?”

I released the pillow, ready to give him an answer when said tongue dove back into my sensitive entrance. Instead of words, my scream of pleasure was the only answer I could give, the only answer he needed.

Duncan’s hand reached beneath me and took my hardened member into his grasp. My enjoyment intensified to a new, higher realm, as I became a tool in his hold. I was his instrument, and Duncan played me with confidence. His touch conjured a song of sounds that I had no control over keeping in.

Between his furious, passionate kiss that licked and nipped and the voracious rhythm of his arm as he tugged at my cock, I was moments from exploding.

The feeling came on so suddenly that I lost the will to maintain a breath. It swelled inside of me, uncontrollable. I buried my head into the pillow, muffling my cry as the rush of pleasure burst out from me.

My entire body trembled as the feeling overtook me.

Duncan pulled away slowly, only when he was certain the wave of pleasure had been drawn out to its fulfilment. I fell onto my stomach. The wet smudge of cum spread across my abdomen and the bedsheet. But I couldn’t care for anything but the feeling that Duncan had gifted me – and how I wished to make him feel it in return.

The heavy weight of a body flopped onto the bed beside me. I lifted my head an inch from the pillow and looked at Duncan through tired, narrowed eyes. His face was lit with pride. My eyes fell from his pink, bruised lips to the glistening of spit that covered his chin.

“That was fucking incredible,” I said, breathless considering I hardly did anything.

“You are incredible,” he said, mischief rolling like thunder in his eyes. “If I had to survive off you alone, I would live for an eternity. You’re the only sustenance I require, my darling.”

I swore that I could’ve gone again, encouraged just by the hungry way he looked at me. “And I would gladly be the one to provide you that sustenance if it’s like that every time.” I replied as I rolled myself onto my back. The room seemed to spin as though a lingering climax still had me in its grip. “Now would be the apt moment to gush about your godly touch and equally godly mouth.”

“But you look tired,” Duncan smirked, as if that was exactly what he wanted to happen. “Who knew biting into a pillow could be such gruelling work?”

“If I had the energy, I would smack you with the same pillow just to shut you up.” My laugh was natural, not forced.

“Then you should ride the wave of your exhaustion and get some rest. Come dawn, you can resume your threats when you have more energy to expend. Although, I have some other ideas of what you can do, which include a pillow put beneath your knees and not stuffed between your teeth.”

For once, I longed for the idea of sleep, just so I could wake again and do this over.

“Until tomorrow then,” I said, using what little strength I had left to lean up on my elbows so I could press my lips to his. “If you can wait that long to bury yourself inside of me.”

“Trust me, darling. I could wait until the world ends if it means experiencing such a thing.” Duncan welcomed me into his arms, his chin and mouth still glistening as though they dripped with honey. “I love you, Robin Icethorn. So much.”

“And I,” I said, eyes flickering between his. I wished for his soul to hear what I was about to say, so I searched for it before finishing. “Love you .”

It didn’t take long for me to fall into sleep. Wrapped in Duncan’s arms, our flesh pressed together as one, I found sleep. And this time, I didn’t fear what was waiting for me.

Oh, how wrong I was.

The dream snatched me before my head even hit the pillow that still bore my bite mark on its skin. I expected welcoming darkness and empty thoughts, but as I disappeared from the world of reality, I was greeted by something far more sinister.

Dark, billowing hair whipped around a face of pale ivory skin. One side of the female’s head didn’t dance with her hair because it was shaved down to the scalp. This dream, although similar to before, felt noticeably different from the others. It was clearer – vivid and real.

I heard myself speak without knowing I’d even opened my lips. “Jesibel?”