Chapter 14

"And that's what she said, is it?" Reuben asked, and Aurelia nodded.

"That's right. She was grateful for your friendship, but … well, she's worried about your expectations," Aurelia replied as her brother cursed under his breath.

She had found him in the library, and though it had pained her to break the news to him, Aurelia had known she had no choice but to do so. It would not have been fair otherwise. To lead a person on in false hope was wrong, and in a way, she admired Roxanna for her openness and honesty. So many women hid behind false promises, leading men on without there being any hope of realizing their ambitions. Roxanna was not one of them.

"I see. Well, I suppose it's better to know now than later, isn't it?" Reuben said, and Aurelia nodded.

"I think so, yes – we can both be disappointed together," she said, and her brother looked at her in surprise.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, if I'm not allowed to marry Silas, and if your hopes of something more with Roxanna have been dashed, we can be miserable together, can't we?" she said.

Reuben smiled and shook his head. The two of them had always got on well, though with occasional disagreement – particularly when it came to suitors.

"Let's hope Letitia has more luck," Reuben replied, and now it was Aurelia's turn to smile – Letitia would no doubt be lucky when it came to love, but there mercifully still some years to go before she was or was not …

"I'm sure she will. But don't be too despondent, Reuben. Roxanna's a free spirit. She told me so herself. She'll go off to the continent, and that'll be that. You can't very well follow her. Better for her to tell you now than to live on a false promise of her return," Aurelia said.

Reuben looked thoughtful momentarily as though he was considering doing just what Aurelia had suggested he could not do. But now he nodded and sighed.

"Yes, well … I suppose it's for the best. As you say, knowing now is better than wasting time. How are your lessons with Dawson going? Is the earl now a perfect English gentleman? I must say, I really do like him. I wasn't sure I would do. But he's a remarkable man, and father speaks very highly of him," Reuben said.

Aurelia smiled. She had felt the same, their initial introduction having left something of a sour taste in her mouth. But now she had come to know him better, her mind was entirely changed.

"Oh, yes … they're going very well," she replied, blushing at the thought of their time together that day – not engaged in a lesson, but in the pleasant act of sketcher and sitter.

"I'm glad to hear it. I've got no time for those who say he isn't the rightful heir just because he's from Kentucky," Reuben replied.

Aurelia nodded. She knew what others said about the earl – there was bitterness and jealousy among some elements of the ton. They called him uncouth. But their own behaviour betrayed their lack of manners, and to Dawson's credit, he had risen above it. The tenants on the Wimbourne estate spoke highly of him, and he had already set about making all manner of improvements – many of which Isaac had neglected over many years.

"I don't think it makes any difference where he's from. What matters is what he does now. I think he's a perfect gentleman – in his own way," Aurelia replied.

When she had agreed to teach the new earl the ways of English society, she had approached the matter with the idea of changing him from rough and ready ways to a more gentlemanly demeanour. But in her encounters with the earl, Aurelia had come to realize there was more than one way of being a gentleman, and Dawson certainly was a gentleman.

"I agree. He might not know the difference between a dowager and a debutante, but it's what's in here that matters," Reuben said, tapping his chest, and Aurelia nodded.

Her brother was right – heart and soul mattered far more than outward decorum, and while Dawson may still have the ways of a rancher about him, inside, he was everything a gentleman should be.

***

"Back in Kentucky, I had two shirts for riding out in – one dirty, one clean. I had some more formal clothes to wear, but they stayed in the wardrobe mostly – unless the governor or some other dull dignitary was coming to dinner. But here … it's like I need to change my clothes just because I've had breakfast," Dawson said, shaking his head and laughing.

Aurelia and Reuben were accompanying him in buying new clothes. This was to be one of Aurelia's lessons – instruction in proper clothing and dress. They had taken a carriage together into Wimbourne, where they were to visit Reuben's tailor, Mr Dickson. Aurelia had visions of a new wardrobe – shirts, breeches, waistcoats, frock coats, cravats … but Dawson's ambitions were clearly more modest.

"It's not quite like that," Aurelia said, smiling as Dawson rolled his eyes.

"How many times a day do you get changed, Aurelia?" he asked, and Aurelia blushed.

"Well … the morning and the afternoon are quite different. If I'm calling on someone, I'll want to wear something different. And the same for dinner, too. One can't wear the same dress to dine in as to pay calls in. It's about practicality," Aurelia replied, though she knew he was teasing her.

"Really? And is that the same for men? Am I expected to wear an entirely new outfit just because it's time for dinner?" Dawson said.

"Usually, one dresses for dinner," Aurelia said, but Dawson was having none of it, and as they pulled up outside the tailor's shop, he had made it clear he was not about to buy more than the absolute necessity.

"I don't see the point in wasting money on these things," Dawson said.

Aurelia wondered if he had yet grasped the full extent of his wealth. He was among the richest men in England. He could have a new outfit for every day of the year if he wished.

"I'm sure Mr Dickson can provide what you need, Dawson," Reuben said, opening the carriage door for them.

The tailor's shop was at the far end of the high street, opposite the church, a tiny shop filled with racks of shirts and breeches, half-finished frock coats, and waistcoats. Mr Dickson was a small man with keen eyes and a pleasant smile. He greeted them warmly, ushering them into the shop as Reuben explained what was required.

"I see, yes. Well, My Lord, you won't find finer tailoring than my own. I'll just need to measure you," he said, smiling and nodding as he pointed to a stool on which Reuben could stand to be measured.

"Could you make me a multi-coloured waistcoat, Mr Dickson?" Dawson asked, looking down at Aurelia and grinning.

The tailor looked somewhat perturbed.

"My Lord?" he asked, holding up his tape measure hesitatingly.

Aurelia rolled her eyes.

"He's joking, Mr Dickson. Your usual offerings of quality will suffice very well, thank you," Aurelia said, and the tailor now took the measurements as Dawson stood dutifully on the stool.

"Perhaps something in green," Reuben ventured.

"A dark green waistcoat, perhaps – matched with a blue frock coat," Mr Dickson suggested, and Aurelia nodded.

"I think that would look very fine. Much better than …" she began, stopping herself before she could pass judgement on Dawson's current state of dress.

He still dressed like he was riding out across the ranch – a shirt and breeches, a large overcoat, and a Stetson hat. He had the rugged appearance of a frontiersman – hardly the typical outfit of a peer of the realm.

"What I'm wearing now?" Dawson said, fixing Aurelia with a questioning look.

Aurelia blushed.

"I didn't say that. But it's nice to look smart, isn't it? You want to appear … well dressed, don't you?" Aurelia asked, and Dawson sighed.

"I suppose I've got to wear something," he said as Mr Dickson now concluded his measurements.

"I'll make a few suggestions, My Lord, and I'll send over some items for you to try. It's no trouble," the tailor said, and Dawson nodded.

"Thank you, Mr Dickson," he replied.

Dawson had just stepped down from the stool when the shop door opened, and to Aurelia's surprise, Silas entered, accompanied by his mother. The Viscount Salisbury's wife was a haughty and ambitious woman.

She wore a green dress and matching shawl, the curls of her dark hair protruding from beneath a yellow bonnet. She was always pleasant to Aurelia, but in their brief encounters, Aurelia had wondered if ambition, rather than genuine liking, was the reason for her pleasantness …

"Aurelia, what a surprise," Silas said, and Aurelia blushed, glancing at her brother and knowing what the scene must surely appear to be.

"Yes, we were just … assisting the earl in choosing some new clothes," Aurelia said.

She realized the two men had not yet been introduced, and now Dawson stepped forward, holding out his hand to Silas and smiling.

"Silas, this is the Earl of Wimbourne, Dawson Murphy, and Dawson, this is Silas Emmons, the son of the Viscount Salisbury, and this is Lady Salisbury," Reuben said.

"I'm pleased to meet you. I've heard a lot about you," Dawson said, and Silas looked at him with disdain though he took the earl's hand and shook it.

"Is that so?" he replied, glancing at Aurelia, who blushed.

"Silas needs a new set of waistcoats, Mr Dickson. You have his measurements on file," the viscountess said, ignoring Dawson as she addressed the tailor, who nodded.

"I do, My Lady, yes," he said.

An awkward silence now descended on the cramped tailor's shop. Aurelia was standing only inches from Silas, whose expression was fixed in a glare at Dawson, who now looked decidedly uncomfortable. Lady Salisbury now looked at Dawson and smiled.

"How are you settling in, My Lord?" she asked.

"Very well, thank you. It's taking some getting used to – English ways. But I've got a good teacher," Dawson said, glancing at Aurelia, who smiled even though she feared the response his words would garner.

Silas glared at her.

"A teacher, you say?" he asked, and Dawson – oblivious, it seemed, to the anger he was causing, nodded.

"That's right. Aurelia's … forgive me, Miss Banks' parents asked her to help me learn what it means to be an English gentleman. It's mainly about spoons," he said, laughing, as Silas continued to glare at him.

"Spoons?" the viscountess asked, looking confused.

"Which spoon to use for what. I didn't know there was a difference between a soup spoon and a fruit spoon. But there is, and now I know it," Dawson replied.

The viscountess smiled and nodded.

"I see," she replied.

But Silas' expression remained fixed in anger, and now he turned to Aurelia and narrowed his eyes.

"And what other lessons have you been teaching, Aurelia?" he asked.

Aurelia faltered. She had never seen him this angry before – save for the glimpses she had caught in the shrubbery and at the ball. But this was different – his expression did not change or soften. She had not meant to upset or offend him. She loved him, and it pained her to think he was angry with her.

"Silas … really, it's just a few lessons, that's all," she said, as Silas shook his head.

"I want to talk to you, Aurelia," he said, and now he reached out and seized her wrist in his hand.

He was hurting her, trying to pull her out of the shop, as she let out a cry of pain.

"Silas …" she said, but it was Dawson who now stepped forward.

"I don't think that's very gentlemanly, do you? Can't you see you're hurting her?" he said.

Silas' eyes grew wide with astonishment. Aurelia knew he was not used to being challenged, and now he let go of her wrist, facing Dawson with a defiant expression.

"And who are you to tell me what it means to be a gentleman?" he exclaimed.

Aurelia feared a fight was about to break out, but the viscountess now intervened, placing her hand on Silas' arm.

"I think it's time we were going, Silas. Mr Dickson has your measurements. He can send over the waistcoats. In the meantime, Aurelia, perhaps you and your brother would care to dine with us?" she said.

Aurelia had been shocked by Silas' behaviour, and the thought of dining with him and his parents now filled her with trepidation. She had seen a different side to him, one she had no liking for, and despite everything he had said to her – the loving words, the quotes from Shakespeare, the declaration of his feelings – Aurelia could not help feeling something had changed. There was a jealousy in his words and actions, one she felt entirely uncomfortable over …

"Yes … I'd be delighted," she said, for what else could she say?

"I'll speak to my father and mother – we'll let you know," Reuben said.

Silas' face was still fixed in an expression of anger, and now he gave a curt nod to Aurelia before turning on his heels and following his mother out of the shop. The door closed behind them with a bang, the bell above rattling loudly. Mr Dickson cleared his throat.

"Will that be all, My Lord? I have the measurements I need," he said, and Dawson nodded.

"That'll be all. Thank you, Mr Dickson," he said, and the trio quietly left the shop.

Aurelia felt shaken by her encounter with Silas and his mother. She had never seen him so angry, consumed by jealousy – and for what? There was nothing for him to be jealous of, and it had astonished Aurelia to see the reaction of the man she thought she knew – the man she had professed her love for – to the innocence of her having taught Dawson a few lessons in etiquette.

"What a dreadful man," Reuben exclaimed as they climbed into their waiting carriage.

"I'm sure he was just …" Aurelia began, but her brother interrupted her.

"I'm sure he was just behaving abdominally, Aurelia. How dare he treat you like that – seizing your wrist in that way. Had Dawson not stepped in, I'd have done so myself. We'll refuse the invitation. Mother and Father won't allow it anyway," Reuben said.

Aurelia glanced at Dawson, who had an awkward expression on his face. She had not meant to embarrass him or for him to be involved in a matter that was surely between herself and Silas.

"It really doesn't matter, Reuben," she said, but her brother shook his head.

"It does matter, Aurelia. Haven't I told you he's not right for you? You can't possibly want to marry a man like that? Didn't you see the look in his eyes?" he said.

Aurelia nodded. She knew it was folly to deny what she had plainly seen – Silas' anger and jealousy. But now she wondered if her actions caused it – she had been the one to take an interest in Dawson, and she had been the one who had agreed to give him lessons in etiquette and gentlemanly behaviour.

"I'm sure he was just … tired," Aurelia replied, and her brother groaned.

"Oh, Aurelia – why won't you see sense? What have we been telling you the whole time? He's not right for you. And he's proved as much today. I couldn't believe it," Reuben said, shaking his head.

But Aurelia still clung to the hope she had in Silas. He had promised her so much – he had told her he loved her, and she had told him the same. But despite this conviction, doubts were creeping over her, and Aurelia was beginning to wonder if she was making the right decision.

Dawson had remained silent, and it was as though he intended to remain so rather than offer his opinion – though Aurelia felt certain she already knew it. As they arrived home, Reuben opened the carriage door and stepped out, still muttering to himself about Silas as he hurried up the steps to the house.

"I'm sorry if you were embarrassed," Aurelia said, turning to Dawson, who was to continue to Wimbourne Hall.

He blushed, shaking his head and sighing.

"I wasn't embarrassed, Aurelia. But I was concerned. The way he treated you …" he said, his words trailing off.

"And it was very good of you to intervene on my behalf. I'm very grateful …" Aurelia stammered.

Tears were welling up in her eyes, and she was finding it difficult to control her emotions, though she felt foolish for this display of outpouring. But Dawson now placed his hand gently on her arm and gave her a reassuring look.

"Please, Aurelia – think about what you're doing. If he's not right for you, be clear on that before you marry him. I don't want to see you get hurt," he said.

A tear rolled down Aurelia's cheek. She had staked so much on the hope of Silas. She had professed her love for him, and he had said the same. She had begged her parents to allow her to marry him, but now, she was beginning to have her doubts …

"That's very kind of you to say. And I … well, I'll think about your words," Aurelia said.

"If you love him, so be it – but be certain he loves you, too," Dawson said.

Aurelia nodded, taking a deep breath and forcing a weak smile to her face.

"I'm grateful to you – for everything," she said, and as she stepped down from the carriage, further tears rolled down her cheeks.

She turned, catching a last glimpse of Dawson through the carriage window. What a contrast he was to Silas, who had now shown his true colours. Aurelia stood on the steps of the house and wept. She felt a fool for having allowed her feelings to get carried away and for not listening when others had told her Silas was not right for her. Confusion now reigned, and Aurelia did not know what to do, filled with sorrow for what might have been and doubt about what should come next.

***

"I couldn't believe it – seizing her by the wrist, threatening to drag her away. I was appalled by his behaviour," Reuben said, shaking his head.

The family were sitting at dinner, and Reuben had raised the topic of Silas' treatment of Aurelia in the tailor's shop that afternoon.

"Terrible – quite despicable," their mother said, tutting, as the soup was served.

"But this is what we said all along, isn't it? And then his mother had the audacity to invite the two of us for dinner. I said we'd have to seek your permission," Reuben said, and their mother laughed.

"A permission I deny," she said, taking up her soup spoon.

Aurelia might well have sought to defend Silas, but the more she had thought about her encounter with him that afternoon, the more she had realized her brother was right. It pained her to admit it, but the thought of what Silas had done – the way he had treated her with such contempt – was enough to make Aurelia question everything that had gone before.

A man could not tell a woman he loved her and then behave with such anger and jealousy. She had done nothing, and now she was beginning to realize her feelings towards Silas were changing.

"And what have you got to say about it, Aurelia?" her father asked.

Aurelia had remained silent, but now she looked up and sighed.

"Reuben's right," she said, though she did not qualify her words further.

Her mother gave a shriek of delight.

"Oh, heavens be praised – thank goodness you've come to your senses at last, Aurelia. Haven't we been saying the same all along?" she asked.

Aurelia felt embarrassed – ashamed at having made such a poor lack of judgement – and to have the matter aired at the dinner table …

"Please, Mother," she said, as Reuben now continued, "It's all because Silas is jealous of Dawson. That's all there is to it," he said.

"Really, Reuben," Aurelia whispered, but her brother only looked at her and shrugged.

"But it's true, isn't it? You and Dawson have grown close – it's all very proper, of course. There's no scandal in it. But Silas doesn't like it. He's a jealous man, and we saw that jealousy for ourselves today, didn't we?" he said.

Aurelia sighed. She hated being the centre of attention – especially over such personal matters – but now her mother put down her soup spoon and clapped her hands in delight.

"A match between the earl and Aurelia – how marvellous," she said, and Aurelia blushed.

She had not indicated a liking for Dawson – not to her family, at least – though there was no doubt he was an attractive man. The thought of what might have happened had they not been interrupted by Roxanna after the sketching still lingered, but as for doing something more about it …

"Dawson wouldn't want her," Letitia interrupted, and Aurelia looked at her in surprise, taken aback by her sister's cruel judgement.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" she exclaimed.

"You're a porcelain doll, Aurelia – so concerned with appearances and proper behaviour. He's the total opposite. I couldn't believe it when Mother told me you were taking him to buy new clothes at the tailor's shop. What's wrong with his own clothes? Do you want him to be just like you – a porcelain doll? That's what you are. Dawson isn't interested in you," Letitia said.

Aurelia took a deep breath, reminding herself her sister was at an age when she often spoke without thinking. Her words could be cruel at times, but this …

"Is that what you really think of me, Letitia? That I don't have feelings?" she asked, and Letitia shrugged.

"You said it, Aurelia. And I doubt Dawson is interested in a woman without feelings. Look at Roxanna – she's your total opposite. He'll want to go back to Kentucky eventually, and you'll be left behind – sad and lonely," Letitia said.

Tears welled up in Aurelia's eyes, and tossing aside her napkin, she rose to her feet, hurrying out of the room, as her sister's taunts followed her. It was cruel and not true. Aurelia was no porcelain doll, and she was certainly not without feelings, for now she had come to realize where those feelings lay – with Dawson and not with Silas.