31. Chapter 31

Bella took pity on me for the time being and shifted the conversation to rebel group business. A core group of people seemed to oversee various other groups with various areas of action. Each person gave a report on how their group was faring, what changes or challenges had arisen since the last meeting, and how things were progressing with undermining the government police while foiling the plans of an evil witch cult.

It all felt unreal.

After the meeting broke up, Bella pulled me aside. "Look, I know I"m asking a lot of you," she said in a hushed tone, looking over her shoulder to make sure no one but my group was near enough to hear her before continuing. "But they need a source of hope. We need a source of hope. Something to cling to when it seems like the entire world is out to destroy itself." She still wasn"t taking no for an answer.

I shook my head, trying my best to shove down the panic that wanted to rise up again at the mere thought of doing what she wanted me to do. "I get that, Bella. I do. But I don"t think you get me. I"ve spent my entire life trying not to be a witch—not in any way that counts. I wanted to escape this whole community. You were lucky. You got some formal training before you ran away. Then you got to completely escape the fallout." I sighed. "I don"t know what you and Junaid got up to the past couple of decades, but I"m pretty sure it was more fun than the shit I"ve had to put up with."

At her grimace, I reached for her, awkwardly patting her shoulder. "I know you did what you could to save me from our family. To save us both. And I"m grateful you did what you did. You were only a kid yourself at the time, so you couldn"t really know how it would all pan out. But… I had to live with the stigma. From the time I was five fucking years old, I was the weird kid, the cursed one. The poor sad Lovell filth. Everyone was watching me, just waiting for me to do something awful and prove I"m just like the rest of my family. The Supernatural Alliance. The magical community. People on the street. I"ve had to do everything I can to shove my magic down deep inside me and lock it away forever. The moment I am even the least bit myself, I"m accused of being an evil, devious, plotting Lovell progeny. I"ve had to hide how powerful I could be, for my own safety and freaking mental health. I"ve had to be alone, in every way that counts, all my life." I glared at her. "And do you know what has always been even worse? When people come to me, and they know. When they can sense that something"s not right with me. That there"s more to me than what you see on the surface. Because they always—always—end up being the ones who want me to embrace my power so they can use me. Or so they can carry on in mom and dad"s footsteps."

And how was this any different? How was Bella any different?

I knew she wasn"t like the others who had come to me over the years. I knew she wanted me to use my magic for good. But… there was still that voice inside me—and it was loud—crying out that we were still being used again, all the same. That she just wanted to get at our stupid magic well and turn us into a monster for her own benefit.

"I"m sorry," she whispered. "Andy, I"m so sorry. I did the best I could. It was just me and Junaid on the run. I wanted to take you with us, but he wouldn"t let me. And he was right. A fifteen-year-old girl who had never left home and had just been erased from existence, and a jinn with very little knowledge of or love for humans… we never could have raised you on the run. As hard as it was for you here, I have to believe that it was still the best option. But I am sorry you"ve had to put up with all this bullshit."

I nodded. If nothing else, I believed that. She had been a scared kid in a terrible situation, and she"d done the best she could. "I can"t be this superhero or whatever you"re looking for. Supervillain? Antihero?" I waved dismissively. "But I will help as much as I can, as long as it doesn"t mean too much risk to my new family. You"re right. This shit can"t be allowed to go on. Someone needs to do something. And you and I might be the best equipped to make a difference, even given our crappy backgrounds." I grinned at her. "I really would like to take the SA down a peg or five. Those bastards deserve it."

She put her hand over mine, where I still touched her shoulder. "How do you feel about a bit of theft, then, little sister?"

I shrugged. "I"m not the best strategist, but I know a few people who are very good at sneaking and devious behavior."

She nodded. "That"s what I was thinking. And you might consider this particular mission personal. You know how I mentioned the SA hoarding powerful artifacts?"

I huffed a laugh. "You want us to steal artifacts from the SA?"

Bella grinned. "Two in particular. We don"t have much specific information on what else they have. But we do know they have both the amplifier and the nullifier, right? With those two artifacts, we should be able to control any situation that comes our way. It will give our people the upper hand in any confrontation. And I"m sure there will be many, many confrontations."

It was a crazy idea. Undoubtedly dangerous. And I wasn"t entirely sure I was comfortable giving this woman two extremely powerful magical artifacts. But considering that I was the reason the SA had those fucking artifacts in the first place, I felt obligated to help. And I would absolutely take glee in fucking the SA over. "That, I can do," I said firmly. "I"m not sure how I"ll do it. But I will."

She hesitated for a moment, then threw caution to the wind and hugged me. It was strange. And maybe a little bit nice. It was like my aura recognized hers. I patted her back awkwardly. "Okay. Yeah. Thanks."

Bella laughed as she pulled away. "We shouldn"t linger here much longer. We try not to stay in one large group in one spot for too long or we"ll inevitably get found out. I will get in touch with you again soon, okay?"

I nodded. "Sounds good. And… um… be careful?"

She winked at me. "I"m a Lovell, Andy. Covering our own asses is what we do best."

Yeah. That was part of what concerned me.

Finding our way back home to the pocket world was a lot more straightforward than finding the meeting place had been. Mostly. I stepped out of the portal between realms and yelped as a zap of unstable energy snapped at my heels. In my distraction, I slammed right into the corpse-man that Dyre had guarding the courtyard. "Fuck!"

I jumped back, shaking my head in distaste. It wasn"t like the guy was, like, rotting or anything. There was no smell or whatever. But still, my aura protested his wrongness. And I didn"t like the idea of getting up close and personal with a dead guy who had tried to kill me. For his part, the animated corpse registered me as a benign entity and kept moving, pacing a circle around the open space in search of unfriendly energies.

Dyre huffed and pushed past me. "Oh, buck up, Lovell. Don"t be so squeamish. It"s only one little animated corpse." But he was smirking at me, his eyes filled with silent laughter.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I"m gonna make you a corpse."

I regretted the words the moment they left my mouth. But it was too late. Dyre looked back at me and arched one blood red brow. "Some would say it"s already too late for that."

The others strode past us and into the house, well used to our bickering by now. I pressed my lips together, remembering my secret conversation with Sunshine. The one where he had confirmed that technically Dyre was as good as dead and that only Sunny was keeping him alive. I still wasn"t one hundred percent sure Dyre didn"t already know that, but I would not be the one to tell him, just in case.

When the others had left, Dyre dropped back to walk by my side, then surprised me by grabbing my wrist and dragging me off to the far side of the little garden courtyard. I arched my brows at him but went along with his whims. If Dyre wanted to talk, Goddess knew I was all ears.

Unfortunately, he didn"t want to talk about something as fun as our twisted romance problems. When we reached the far wall, he pushed me onto the little garden bench there and stood looming over me, looking some ominous combination of grim and sad. "Are you going to do what your sister asked of you?" he said without preamble. Geesh, buy a girl a drink first at least.

He and the others had been close enough to overhear my conversation with Bella about the artifacts, so I didn"t know why he was even asking. I shrugged. "It"s dangerous stealing from the SA. But I think it"s doable, especially if you and the others are all willing to help."

But he just waved that away with a dismissive scoff. "Not that. The rest of it. She wants you to be the figurehead of her rebellion. And the rest of us too, by extension."

"Oh, that," I said, deflating. My gut still churned at the mention of it. "Of course I"m not going to do that. It"s ridiculous. It"s a crazy idea, for starters. And even if it wasn"t, I"m hardly the person to save the world."

I had trouble meeting his eyes, but when I finally looked up, I found him regarding me with a surprising softness in his usually guarded violet gaze. "I know what you"re afraid of," he said, his deep voice barely a whisper. "I know, Andy."

A shot of adrenaline and dread jolted through me at his words. I couldn"t seem to form a response.

Dyre sighed and sank down on the bench beside me, our knees touching. "I know your magic well is limitless. I know, because I"m the same. It"s why my family wanted to turn me into a necromancer—because I would be literally unstoppable. They wanted to turn me into a terrifying tool to laud over the rest of witch society."

He looked down at his own big hands as if the pale skin, long fingers, and slightly knobby knuckles held the answers to all life"s questions. "I know you"re the same because I"ve felt it when we worked magic together. But also… because my blood runs through your veins." I opened my mouth to protest, but he kept going before I could voice my concerns. "Yes, it"s diluted by generations, mixed with other strong magic users. But the power in our lineage is so strong that even a drop is enough to set us apart."

He glanced at me then, met my eyes and let me see his vulnerability. "I know what you"re struggling with in your mind right now. Because I struggle with the same thing every day. The idea of limitless power is terrifying." He scoffed, dry and humorless. "I was a blood witch long before I was a necromancer. Even without Sunny"s help, I could have easily reached out and pulled all the blood from every living being in that clearing back there. I could have drawn it to me. Used my power to enslave them or drain them dry. And with every bit of power I drew from them, I would only get stronger. How many living, breathing, blood-filled creatures exist in the two realms? Endless power, right there at my fingertips."

Holy shit. I swallowed, my throat gone suddenly dry. I knew Dyre was powerful. I knew Sunny was vast and ancient. But I had no actual idea what he was capable of… if what he said was true, then Dyre carrying Sunny was nearly a god. Unstoppable. Yeah, that seemed about right.

"You"re untrained, but you"re just as strong," he said softly. "And you"ve been hiding it from everyone. Even yourself. But Bella knows. Either she can sense it, or she heard your parents discussing it at some point when you were children."

I fidgeted with a loose thread from a small tear in my jeans. "I…." Clearing my throat, I soldiered on. "What I said before was true. I haven"t ever had the chance to get formal training from another witch. And I don"t know what my limits are. But… you"re right. I"m afraid. I can feel it there, that well of power. And I"ve tired myself out before, sure. Exhausted the reserves I let myself access… but that"s only because I put up a wall to prevent myself from reaching too deep. I never let myself pull past a certain point." I shuddered. "When I do, I can do things I shouldn"t be able to do." I waved a hand at the world around us. "Like create an entire fucking pocket world and move a mansion and everyone and everything in it into said pocket world with barely a thought."

It was cool, knowing you were strong. But not know what you were actually capable of… that was horrifying. Especially if you were a Lovell. So much could go wrong, and had. So many of my ancestors had gotten high on their power. Maybe one day I would create something with my magic that never should exist. And who might be hurt in the process? That had never stopped my ancestors. And was afraid I"d become just like them if I let myself get comfortable with my deep magic.

Dyre put his hand on my leg, stilling its restless jostling. "I have managed not to destroy the entire world for a few hundred years, and I like to think I"m far more jaded and cruel than you are. I think you can manage to avoid becoming an evil overlord." He pulled his hand away, as if he only now remembered he wasn"t supposed to touch me. "So you"re more powerful than anyone knows. Big deal." He arched a brow and gave me a wry look, then pointed toward the mansion. "I wouldn"t be surprised if everyone in that house right now is far stronger than they"ve let on. If pushed too hard, I suspect we could all become monsters. Which, unfortunately, makes us uniquely suited to this task your sister is asking of us."

I gaped at him. Was he saying…. "Wait. You think I should say yes to her crazy scheme? You. The man who has, from the very beginning, been all about fending for himself and keeping his distance from other people and their problems? Are you ill?"

He let out a dark chuckle. "Oh, without a doubt. I don"t think I"ve ever been sane a day in my life. But I do seem to actually care about some people. And Bella is absolutely right about one thing, I can tell you that for certain. No soft touch is going to fix this mess. The only thing some people respect is power. The only way this conflict between the SA, the cult, and the rebels is going to end is if someone puts them all in their place. And the only people who stand a chance of doing that currently live in this pocket world of yours, Lovell."

He stood, but turned to me to speak one last time. His violet eyes surged with power, and an unearthly chill stole over me that both terrified and aroused. "Perhaps it is time we both embraced the unwanted power in our birthright. Think on it." His half-smile was wan and sad. Bending, he took my hand and lifted it, pressing his cool lips to the small rune that gave us our tenuous connection. His curtain of blood red hair—an indicator of his rare, dangerous affinity—spilled over his shoulder.

"We might have our disagreements, Andy. But I will be here for you no matter what you decide. Maybe Sunny is right; maybe it"s time to stop pretending to be something we are not. If decide you"d like to conquer the world together, Lovell, just let me know."

Then the necromancer released my hand and strode away, leaving me completely flummoxed.

"Fuck me sideways," I muttered to the empty garden.