13. Chapter 13

Iwatched as Dyre"s violet eyes bled to black, something in his posture and his energy changing as he became someone else. "Hey Sunshine," I said with a tired sigh. "How"s it going?"

He tilted his head at me, as if he was trying to figure out an interesting puzzle. "Hello, my witch. You wished to speak with me?" He drifted closer, reaching up to trace an icy finger along my cheek and jaw, his black eyes moving to my hair as he curled a dark green tendril of it around his finger. Sunshine seemed to be fascinated by colors. And I think he liked my witchy green mess of waves. I fought back the full-body shudder that wanted to dance over my skin at the wraith"s nearness.

"Yes," I said in reply to his question, forcing myself to focus as the ancient evil being fondled me. "I have some questions, and I think only you can answer them. But…" I pressed my lips together, not sure how to ask about Dyre"s consciousness without sounding like I was being sneaky. I mean, I was being sneaky. No question about it. But I had good reason.

I didn"t want to upset Dyre any more than necessary—even if he was currently being a stubborn ass. It had to be a shock, finding out that you had a child you didn"t know about—one who had lived and died hundreds of years ago—then realizing that meant you had unknowingly sired an entire line of evil jackasses, most of whom had fairly recently been executed for trying to commit genocide against the non-witch community. I knew there was genuine hurt and fear lurking behind his current jerk demeanor.

And let"s face it, this wasn"t the first time I had delt with someone who wasn"t keen on feeling and expressing their emotions. A certain fire elemental came to mind. But somehow it was easier with Aahil. His walls had been firmly in place from the moment I met the little terror, and I could see him getting better slowly over time, especially now that he had been effectively forced to start over. But with Dyre… this was a step backward from where we"d been before, and that was a whole new kind of pain. Instead of watching him work through his pain and open up to me, I felt like I was losing him entirely.

Maybe I should just let this gaping distance between us continue to grow. Maybe that was just common sense. But… I was a greedy Lovell at heart. Dyre was mine, and I would not give him up without a fight, damn it.

Even if it meant asking questions I didn"t really want the answer to.

"Can Dyre hear us right now?" I asked softly, staring up into the ancient black eyes of his literal inner demon.

Sunshine touched my face again, just a light brush of his cool fingers before he dropped his hand, those dark eyes staring calmly into my own. "He has retreated as far as possible. It is… something like sleep in that space. We are always tied together, but since we came to the agreement to share this body without fighting one another, we can… step back sometimes. He cannot hear us now. Does not wish to. My witch is in pain, and he fears even more pain is coming every time he speaks to you. He is not logical at the moment."

I closed my eyes in a slow blink. I knew Sunshine didn"t mean to stab me in the heart with his words. He was simply stating facts. And he was very protective of his host, even if he didn"t always understand the reasons for all the "silly mortal" emotions he carried. To Sunny, it didn"t matter what caused it. Dyre was in pain, so he would do whatever he could to help stop his host"s hurting. It was achingly sweet, the way the wraith so obviously loved Dyre, even if he knew he was one of the man"s greatest sources of pain.

Opening my eyes once more, I reached out and took the wraith"s hand. Dyre"s bitter words about not touching his body while he was gone rang in my memory, but damn it, this was Sunshine now, and I would not cut the wraith off from physical contact just because Dyre was throwing a tantrum. It wasn"t like I was touching his dick or something. Just his hand. Just enough to let him know I didn"t hate him. Cool fingers wrapped around my own as Sunny patiently waited for me to say what I needed to say. I felt his dark aura swell a bit at the contact, and I knew the wraith took as much comfort in the physical contact as I did.

"Touch is not something that was ever freely given to me, and just me alone, before we met you," the wraith said in his deep, eerie, multi-layered voice. He had probably picked up on my emotions through the bond we shared. He didn"t shut the lifebond down the way Dyre did. In fact, he opened it up even more as he spoke, and I felt his wonder and yearning. Sunny"s experiences on the mortal plane before he was bound to Dyre didn"t include a physical body. And after he was bound to Dyre, though he could experience things through the bond, any physical contact with other living beings was directed at Dyre. No one looked at them and said, "Hey, can you send out the evil entity inside you so I can hold its hand?"

I squeezed Sunny"s fingers and gave him a wry smile. "Well, I"m a Lovell. Apparently, that means I"m into some kinky shit."

Sunny huffed a small laugh at my words, his other hand up coming to thread through my hair, then cup the back of my neck. "I wish to kiss you, witch. Dyre will be mad at both of us. But I"m willing to risk his wrath to taste you once more."

A sudden shot of fear-laced lust jolted through me. Yep, still very much into the wraith, even if his host was pissing me off at the moment. I nodded wordlessly.

That was all the permission Sunny needed. The wraith really wasn"t a fan of beating around the bush or refusing to take what he wanted. He didn"t see the point. And frankly, neither did I, most of the time. It really made you stop and think about all the silly, self-imposed limitations a person lived by.

Cool lips met mine, and Sunshine drew me in closer, pressing our bodies together as he devoured my mouth. I opened to him, falling into the dark, comforting promise of his touch. The instinctive fear was there, but it was mellowed by my complete trust in this man… being… creature? I knew on a deep, unshakable level that was probably all thanks to the lifebond the three of us shared—Sunshine would never do anything to hurt me. Or Dyre. He wanted us both to be happy and safe. It was a strange thing for a wraith like him to feel, but the rarity and strangeness of it just made his feelings that much fiercer and more unwavering.

He pulled back before we could cross Dyre"s boundaries any further, his black eyes shining and aura pulsing with eerie power. "Thank you, Oleander Lovell."

I huffed a laugh as I tried to calm my ass down and remember that I had actual things I wanted to talk to the wraith about. "You"re welcome."

Taking a breath, I confirmed one more time that I wasn"t about to fuck Dyre up any further. "He really can"t hear us? And… is it possible to keep what I"m about to ask you a secret? Can you do that? Keep things from him when you share the same mind?"

It sounded so awful. In any other circumstances, I would never even think of asking Sunny to keep things from his host. This was all kinds of fucked up.

Sunshine looked at me gravely, the sharp planes of Dyre"s wan, handsome features even sharper somehow, more menacing with Sunshine fully in charge. "I dislike keeping things from him."

Disliked. Which meant he could, if he wanted to. "Okay, I get that. I really do. But… how about we talk first, then you decide if it"s a conversation that you want to share with Dyre? Is that fair? I just don"t want to hurt him any more than he"s already hurting."

He nodded slowly. "Ask your questions, my witch." His hand lifted to play with my hair again. He was like a kid with a shiny new toy.

"It has to do with the minor issue of me and Dyre being relatives," I said, getting right to the point. "He thinks it"s wrong for us to continue our relationship now. But I"m not quite so sure. At least, I"m not willing to just walk away without doing some research." I sighed. "I really do care for him. I can"t just suddenly… stop."

Sunshine shook his head as if he was also completely exasperated by his host"s confusing behavior. "He is very upset by this for some reason. He wants you still, yearns for you the way I do. He constantly wants to be near you, to hold you. But he believes it is wrong now, for some stupid mortal reason. He thinks things like we are a monster, and we will taint you. Silly mortal things that make no sense."

I nodded. It was probably hard for an immortal entity who didn"t normally have a physical body or the burden of emotions to understand the big deal about minor mortal concerns like incest. "It"s… short version here, but it"s a big deal, usually. Most mortals just find it uncomfortable to think about having a sexual or romantic relationship with anyone they are related to. Most. Not all. It"s been done, lots of times, over the years. And in some societies, it has been—or is still—acceptable."

I shrugged. "From a scientific standpoint, if a mortal has kids with someone they"re too closely related to, it increases the risk of the kids having genetic disorders or health problems. With witches, the risk of health issues isn"t as bad as it might be for, say, humans. Our magic nullifies a lot of that sort of thing. But the magic itself can be a problem. It can cause weird things like magic that"s too strong to control, or unpredictable spells, that sort of thing. So, it"s usually frowned on. You understand?"

He sighed. "Yes. But you are not siblings. You are not his own child. And none of the concerns you state are valid in his case, regardless. He is overreacting because he is thinking like a mortal. We are not mortal."

I licked my lips, knowing I wasn"t going to like the answer to this question. "Sunny," I said slowly. "You said none of the things I mentioned are valid. I assume Dyre can"t have children anymore?"

He nodded. "That is correct. He cannot sire offspring. Hosting me has… caused irreparable changes to his body."

I forced myself to soldier on, not liking the way the wraith kind of dodged around the details there. "There"s more to it, though, isn"t there? More than just some little physiology changes or your magic causing him to be sterile." If what I suspected was correct, Sunny was hiding a huge secret from Dyre.

"Sunny, is Dyre… still alive?"