Chapter 40

CHAPTER 40

When I wake, I'm alone. The moment I realize Conri isn't next to me, the blankets are lighter. The bed is warmer, cozier. But it doesn't make me want to stay in it. The idea of even remotely savoring his lingering warmth is too much for me.

I stand and the movement gets my blood moving. No, it's more than that. My heart is hammering. The night comes back to me in a dizzying rush. I'm out of the room in a blink, gathering my cape around me for whatever protection it can offer. Though not even it can protect me from what's coming—from what Conri expects of me.

The moment I step through the curtain and emerge into the common room, my eyes land on Evander, leaning by the archway that leads out into the hall. He turns, pushing away, drawn by the sound. It takes only a second for me to scan the room to ensure no one else is present.

"Fael—" He doesn't have a chance to finish, cut off by the soft oof as I crash into him, throwing my arms around his shoulders. The feeling of him against me. There. Holding me in an instant as tightly as he possibly can. Safe . It has the fear and panic I felt choking my throat looking for escape as relief floods me. He must hear the shuddering breath I try to hide in his shoulder. "What is it? What's wrong?"

I shake my head and pull away; the night still haunts me. "We have to leave."

"We will." He tightens his grip on my shoulders. "I swear to you."

"Now. Today. We must go today. We get Aurora, we take her and we leave. Together. No more fear, no more control, and no more Conri. The three of us, and then…just you and me. Forever."

A scowl nastier than the worst urges of the most foul furrows his brow. When Evander speaks, it's little more than a growl. "What did he do?"

"He—"

"What is it?" Aurora has emerged from her quarters, already looking alarmed. Her attention lands on me. "What's wrong?"

I wonder if she could somehow sense through our connection that things were amiss. Perhaps that's why she looks so alert despite just waking. Rather than answering, I step away from Evander. He slackens his grip, and just that small act reminds me how good it feels to be in the arms of a man who will just as easily hold me close as let me go. Taking him by the hand, I lead him to the edge of the sunken pit before the fire. Aurora follows suit and we both sit, Evander opting to stand at the edge, angled toward the entry—remaining our loyal defender and just far enough away should anyone enter.

"Last night…" I proceed to tell them everything that happened with Conri. It sounds so little as I say it all. How is it that such a small amount of time passed with such few words and yet everything changed? I finish with, "…I don't know what else to do but leave. Unless one of you has a better idea?"

Aurora crosses her arms and leans back into the pillows, staring at the flames with a scowl as deep as Evander's. "The bastard," she mutters under her breath.

"We have to leave." It's little more than a whisper, and I can't tell if it's because Evander is making an attempt to be quiet. Or if it's because he has so much rage on my behalf that if he's not whispering, he's screaming.

"Aurora?" I ask.

She continues to stare into the flames. I can only imagine what's going through her mind. Lifetimes of subjugation. Of being controlled and passed around. Of watching her power being reduced to little more than a tool for mortals who fail to appreciate its might.

But, also…it has been lifetimes. For all the hatred and hurt she must have, this is all she's known for so long. Does she even remember what it feels like to be her complete self? Does she truly believe it could happen? The questions alone are heartbreaking.

"All right." The way she says those two words makes me wonder if she was going through the same thoughts as I was. Processing them each on her terms. She sits a little straighter, as if gathering herself and her composure for the first time in a long time. "We'll go tonight."

"Is it wise to wait that long?" I keep glancing toward the archway, feeling like at any moment Conri will come rushing through, demanding my life or my womb.

"My powers will be stronger at night," she says. "If we need to summon spirits and I need to offer you any extra energy, I'll have the most to give then."

"The day will offer you time to gather supplies." Evander's tone is still low and harsh. His biceps bulge as they tense, arms folded.

"I did say I would gather supplies for a fertility spell." I run my hands over my face, rubbing away the tortured emotions that keep trying to live there. "I was also thinking I could use that as a pretense to gather whatever we might need, or even as a shield to escape under."

"Yes, get the supplies and organize yourselves. While you do that, I can plan out a distraction to allow you two to slip away," Evander says.

I'm on my feet. "You're coming with us."

"I will." He holds out his hands, quickly reassuring me by rubbing my shoulders. "But you two are not going to be able to get out of here without some kind of excuse to take eyes off of you. You can't outrun him without a head start. Once Conri realizes you're gone—and I'll stall that as long as possible—I'll then ensure I'm the one sent after you. I'll join you. By the time he realizes we're not coming back, we'll be near the wall of the elves."

"And to safety," I finish softly. "But why would Conri send you if we escaped under your watch?"

"You won't be under my watch. I'll see to it that another knight is guarding you, emphasizing my competence in the process. You never escaped under my watch, but under someone else's you did. ‘Send me,' is what I'll tell him." Evander smiles. It doesn't reach his eyes. It's forced. "I'll be all right."

"We can find another way; you need— I need you to be there with us." The idea of him staying behind is gutting me.

"He's right, Faelyn," Aurora says softly, still transfixed by the flames. "We're not going to get out of here without some kind of distraction to keep Conri busy. And you or I can't be the ones to make that distraction."

I keep focused on Evander. My face twists again with the pain that feels as though it's trying to rip apart every corner of my heart. His smile relaxes into something genuine. Evander reaches down and dares to cup my cheek, holding it and my heart at the same time.

"It'll be all right," he says softly.

"How can you be so sure?" I breathe, reaching up to cover his hand with my own, pressing it against my face. I need to know he's here.

"Because fate brought us together again, it won't tear us apart." He's confident and I try to make that confidence my own.

Evander's right hand reaches for my left. His thumb rubs over the yellow twine he tied around my finger. From the corners of my eyes, I can see Aurora shift, glancing at the motion. But she turns back to the fire, offering us privacy.

"This will guide you through the woods. It will guide my heart to yours."

"That's not the spell I wove." I shake my head. "It's not?—"

"It's the spell I wove when I tied it to your finger and wished, with all my might, that someday you would be my bride." He leans forward to kiss me, daring the display of affection despite anyone being able to walk in. It's foolish, but I savor the brief second his mouth is on mine. My breath hitches. Evander releases me after, the risk too great for us to dare anything more than what we already have. And we have already dared greatly. "I will find you, Faelyn. Nothing will tear us apart, so long as you wish for us to be together."

I nod as his confidence makes room in my heart right alongside my love for him. He's right, we will find a way. There is no greater power than love.

"Right, then, what next?" I ask, refocusing the conversation away from my fears.

"I'm going to speak with Conri." Aurora stands. "Evander will escort us to him, and when we arrive, I'll inform Conri that I've sensed a threatening force coming from the western edge of Den."

"I'll insist that I be the one to go off and check," Evander says, picking up on the plan. "It'll also help reinforce that I am not too attached to either of you by being so willing to leave."

I'm seeing where this is all leading toward. "I'll wait till you're gone and then, when we're assigned another of his knights, go off to collect supplies for the ritual he's wanting."

Evander nods at me.

"I'll ensure I stay at your side," Aurora adds. "That way when the time comes, we'll be ready."

"We can claim that we want to stay together to maintain our strength. And I can say that Aurora will help me identify the best supplies for the spell work," I say, and they nod along. "But when do we slip away?"

A moment of pensive silence. Evander says, "I'll keep the patrol out until dusk."

"I don't think the return of the patrol will be enough of a distraction," I am reluctant to say.

"I agree…" Evander murmurs, rubbing his jawline and lips in thought.

"What about a bonfire night?" Aurora suggests. "If the king is thinking he will be taking his future wife to bed to sire an heir, it would be cause for celebration."

"He did say that he wanted the other alphas to know that I was willing—to reassure them. Why not make a display of it?" I add, somewhat eagerly. The circumstances still fill me with nausea. But the hope that we might have a path forward is winning out. I can see our path out of here. "Moreover, I could tell him that it would help empower the magic."

I'm already running through the lies I'll fabricate for Conri. I could say that the fire represents new life and that I must witness it build, my powers and fertility swelling with it. Or that I need to have a ritual of the elements combining—fire, water, earth, and air—the building blocks of existence—to help foster life within me.

Yes, I can come up with something.

"All right, then I'll distract him during the return and try to draw as much attention as I can onto setting up for this bonfire," Evander says. "And that's when you two will slip away."

We all nod and spend another moment of silence thinking through everything. It will be enough. It has to be.

"Then let's not waste any more time," I say with more confidence than I feel. No more falling apart. I have to be brave for both of them…and for myself. "We leave tonight."