Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

Evander's arm is tight around my waist when we wake. My back is pressed against his chest. His breath is hot on the nape of my neck.

But unlike before, when we woke violently thanks to Conri, this morning we're greeted by a gentle dawn spilling across the land, carried on a misty haze. Cool dew has settled across the ground like scattered diamonds. It coats my shoulder, exposed from where the bedroll we unfolded and used as a duvet slipped off me in the night.

I blink slowly, unsure if I want to wake, or continue sleeping. I savor the deep aches in me as I wiggle my toes, tensing and relaxing my thighs in the process. The movement sets him to stirring.

Evander kisses my shoulder and grumbles sleepily, "Good morning."

"It's early yet," I reply with a yawn.

"We shouldn't waste the day."

"We shouldn't."

Yet, neither of us moves. We continue to relish in these sweet, uninterrupted moments of simplicity. Of pretending that our obligations are not as overbearing as they are.

Finally, he pulls away. Our skin sticks from being pressed together for half the night, and him peeling away has cool air rushing in on my back. I groan softly, yanking at the blanket.

Evander chuckles and leans over, kissing my temple lightly. "We must."

"It's cold."

"It is not, you are merely a little stove." He stands, collecting his clothes. I roll onto my back to watch him, resisting another groan when his trousers rise over the pert curve of his rear. Evander catches me staring and smirks. I don't look away, smirking back. "You know, early lykin would often go without their clothes, preferring to be as ‘natural' as possible. I could bring back that tradition."

I laugh and sit. If he's getting ready then I should as well. "Do what makes you the most comfortable."

He wraps his arms around my waist when I stand, pulling me close. A low growl rises up the back of his throat. "Perhaps I would enjoy it if you embraced the tradition, too."

I snort and push him away. Evander releases me without a fight. "I would not be comfortable roaming naked."

"And here I thought witches danced in the woods in the nude." He begins collecting the bedrolls.

"Sometimes we do." I finish dressing. "But only on particularly important days of the year. Otherwise I prefer not to accidentally brush a tender part against poisonous vines or brush."

"Did you dance for the Blood Moon?"

I pause, my hands freeze midway through grabbing my crimson cape. "No," I say softly, "my grandma had just died. I was still in mourning."

"I'm sorry," he murmurs. "I should have remembered."

I shake my head. "You don't need to remember everything about me. I don't blame you for forgetting."

"I want to remember everything about you." He straps the bedrolls onto the bags with purpose, as if trying to also strap in the facts to his memories.

"Even if that hadn't been the case, I wouldn't have gone out on the night of the Blood Moon. Grandma warned me before her death that it was a night of great power for lykin, vampir, spirits, and more." I force my voice to stay light so he knows that I'm not cross with him over forgetting about my grandma.

"Wouldn't that mean it's a better night to go out and perform your witchy rituals?"

I shake my head. "If I am opening myself to spirits and magic on a night like that, I might end up inviting some I don't entirely want to meet. The Blood Moon isn't a night meant for humans."

"Well, speaking of spirits, where to today?" He shrugs the packs on his shoulders but doesn't yet change into his wolf form.

"I could carry one."

"You have your satchel, and I hardly realize these are here." He shrugs. I frown. Which only makes Evander chuckle. "Really, if it becomes inconvenient I'll change into my wolf form. These muscles aren't just for show."

"Suit yourself." I laugh and sink my toes into the earth and moss, shifting my focus off of him and onto the magic around us. The woods are alive, but I don't feel drawn in any particular direction. There's no calling. Which means I must be the one to make the decision on our headway. "Which way is the edge of the lykin's territory, closest to the elves?"

"Parallel to the mountains." He points in an eastern direction and I follow his finger, focusing through the trees.

"Then we'll keep carrying on in that direction. I want to go as far as we can as fast as we can, that way we can set a more leisurely pace on the way back." If something catches my eye on the way, we'll stop. However, I want to see how far Evander and I can get at an aggressive pace. It will be farther than Aurora and I will be able make it on our own in the same amount of time. On our own… "Evander?"

"I'm still right here."

I turn to face him, taking him in for a moment. The dark hair that falls into his eyes. The slowly growing shadow of stubble that lines his cheeks, the same color as the hair on his chest. He is every bit a woman's fantasy and I take a moment to savor the fact that—at least for now—he is mine.

"What?" Evander chuckles and crosses to me, hooking my chin. He pulls my face up, almost kissing me. "You see something you like?"

"I do." I grin and rise onto my toes to kiss him lightly and then withdraw. The light expression evaporates off my cheeks, fast enough that he takes notice.

Evander's brows furrow slightly. "What is it?"

"Come with us?" I dare to ask, not knowing what he might say. Evander promptly looks away, staring back in the direction of the lykin's plains and Conri. I reach up to guide his attention back to me.

"Why do you want me to come?" he asks—no, demands. I'm almost taken aback by the tone.

"There's nothing for you back there, is there?" I almost stammer, surprised by his sudden intensity.

"You're dodging the question. Why do you want me with you and Aurora?"

"You've helped both of us so much that?—"

"Ah, you still want your bodyguard." He starts walking deeper into the forest with purpose, like he's running.

"Evander, it's not that." I chase after him.

"What, then?" He spins in place, looking down at me. "Do you want me there because you're fond of me? Because you love me?"

Do you want me to love you? The question almost slips out. Keeping it trapped behind my lips nearly burns. He almost…looks like he does. I didn't take him for a hopeless romantic.

"I don't know," I admit softly. "Love can take time, or it can be a whirlwind. I don't know if this is either, or nothing, yet."

"How could you?" He scoffs. "You don't even know me."

"I know enough," I insist back.

"Hardly anything. And there's so much I don't know about you." He says it like it should be dismissive. But…

"Exactly," I counter, taking a step forward, hands on my hips, getting right into his space. "There's so much we've yet to learn about each other, and rather than futility, I see possibility. There's an uncharted course we both could venture down. A future of our own making."

"Must you always be so optimistic?" His eyes shine with amusement, but his tone is dejected. Heartbroken, even.

"Evander—"

"Let's not trouble ourselves with such things now. We should be making use of our time. We're burning daylight." Without giving me a chance to get another word, he turns into his wolf form.

I sigh and scramble up onto his back. "You know…"

He glances over his shoulder and back at me.

"Some people consider optimism a virtue."

Evander huffs and launches forward, taking us deeper into the woods.

It's easy for one tree to look much like the next, especially when racing through the woods on wolf-back. But I'm so accustomed to navigating my way through forests, on and off trails, that I have little mechanisms to help me know where I am. Landmarks are fallen trees turned into hollow homes for animal families, massive boulders covered in moss, the slope of the terrain. There is also a unique feeling as I move through the forest, of grounding myself in the greater powers that curl between the trees and reach out to me with invisible hands. I leave my mark on them as much as they leave their mark on me.

At night we make camp in the hollow and rot-worn remains of a small hamlet. I avoid discussing any difficult topics. Evander isn't keen to, either. So we spend our hours around a small fire ignited by Folost, discussing our favorite foods and telling tales to each other woven into what stars we manage to see.

All the while, I add a few stitches to Mary's symbol in the cape—something that will hopefully neutralize Evander's and my scent like she managed to in the tent for when we inevitably return. A sort of tether for the spell. Evander assists, giving me pointers until it seems just right.

The next day is much the same as the last. Even though, once or twice, I think I can sense the presence of a spirit shiver across my magic, I decide not to stop. Our focus is to get as far as we're able, as fast as we're able.

The day after, we cross over a large river, fed by a breathtaking waterfall that tumbles off the mountains in the distance. But we don't pause to admire it. All I manage is a glimpse. Evander is tireless, running the entire day. He doesn't come to a stop until, sides heaving, he reaches the remnants of a large, abandoned town, hollowed out by time.

I take it as my signal to dismount. Evander promptly changes back into his human form, flopping on the ground in much the same manner as he did yesterday.

"This…is…as far…as we should go," he manages to say between ragged breaths.

"Thank you for pushing so hard." I crouch down next to him to lightly pat his shoulder.

"I needed a good run."

What are you running from? I want to ask. But, once more, I resist. I've encountered a wall with Evander and instinct tells me that trying to overcome it with force will only make him fortify the ramparts. I have to show him that I'm someone who can be trusted. Not just with his body, but with whatever secrets are engraved on his heart as deep as the scars on his back. He has to let me past his defenses willingly.

"I'm glad you could have one—many, with this excursion." I stand once more and take another step into this ruined town. The houses made of stone are still standing, roofs collapsed in. Those of wood have been mostly reclaimed by the forest, creeping vines and decay consuming them. It's been abandoned for some time. "Was this another lykin outpost?"

"In part. Vampir also lived here. And elves…" He sits, continuing to catch his breath. "The middle of town is the edge of the lykin's territory. The southwestern part is vampir. This place was abandoned when the vampir turned into monsters."

"We're out," I breathe, inhaling a little deeper than I have before in Midscape. The air is fresher here. Cool off the mighty mountains that stand guard to the left of this town as we face south. "Do we need to worry about the vampir?"

"One hasn't been seen in centuries, my ancestors saw to that, so we should be fine." He stands. "And if there is one, I'll protect you."

"My hero." I lean into him, batting my eyelashes.

Evander chuckles, but I do think he looks the slightest bit flattered. "This way."

I follow as he leads us through the town. Past two large buildings that I imagine were once an inn and perhaps some kind of town hall. Perhaps a market. I slow to a stop.

"What is it?" Evander pauses as well.

"There was a town not far from where I lived…" I murmur.

"Corwall," he blurts.

I look in his direction, startled. "You know it?"

"I'm the only one who knows anything really about the other side of the Fade."

"Because of your witch love?"

He pauses. I don't think he's going to answer. But at last he says, "Yes."

I purse my lips. The only witches I knew near Corwall were my grandmother and I. Perhaps there were others up the forest on the other side?

"Where did she live?"

"By the woods."

"Obviously." I resist rolling my eyes, partly in frustration. "All witches live at the edge of the Fade. But where, specifically?"

"It doesn't matter now." He starts walking again.

I quickly catch up to his side. "It matters to me." He says nothing. It's as if he didn't hear me at all. "Do you have any idea how lonely my life was? If there were witches out there that I missed then?—"

"It would make it worse," he interrupts with confidence, silencing me. "Trust me, Faelyn. There are few combinations of words more horrible than ‘what could have been.'"

I sigh as he continues. So much for trying to respect his boundaries. Of course he wouldn't want to talk about his lost love. I know that hurt all too well.

We reach the edge of the town. At the far end are the remnants of a road. Cobblestones dot the tall grasses, carving a path up and into the mountains.

"It's paved." I step out into the abandoned road. There are still carriage grooves in the rock. "Not many roads are paved like this in the Natural World."

"The vampir were master craftsmen. Moreover, their full moon festivals would draw everyone from common born to the highest of nobility into their mountaintop citadel. This road takes you to the great bridge that leads to the heart of their lands." He points in a western direction. "Most of the vampir's lands are on a peninsula. It's part of what made it so easy to drive them back when they turned feral."

"The lykin forced them to abandon their homes?" I look back to the town.

"Just what was on this side of the bridge. It was necessary." His tone is grave. "I wasn't there, of course. This was thousands of years ago… But all the stories speak of them turning into monsters. Of their blood rotting from within and taking their minds and sense with it. A shame for creatures that used to create such beauty."

"All the stories I've ever heard are of their more monstrous nature," I say softly. "Never anything about them as craftsmen or artists."

"Their decline happened around the time the Fade was erected; it makes sense that all humans would know of them is stories of their horrors. Fortunately, the western sea separates the vampir from the Natural World, just like it does the lykin. I doubt any crossed," he says optimistically.

I merely nod. The sorrowful history of the vampir. A cursed people… Perhaps, once Aurora is saved, I could try and help them, somehow…

Evander points in the opposite direction of the vampir bridge. The road curves through the woods to the southeast. "That way will take you to the main road that leads from the territory of the elves. If you can make it this far with Aurora, you will be out of the lykin's territory and it will become significantly more difficult for Conri to follow out of his lands. From here, it is a straight shot down into the land of the elves. Make it to the gate, and you both will be free. Conri wouldn't dare to trespass on their territory uninvited."

Free … The word sounds glorious to me and I haven't even endured a speck as much as she has. Or even a fraction as much as Evander has.

I look to him. Take a step closer, and slip my hand into his. "And you will be with us," I say in no uncertain terms. I'm not asking this time. I'm telling, if that's what it takes. If Aurora and I escape on Evander's watch, Conri will kill him this time. There will be no second chances. "I'm not leaving you behind to face his wrath. If you truly do not want to journey with us, then escape and go off on your own, after. Find a cute cottage in the land of the elves. You deserve freedom, too."

His lips part lightly with shock. I hope also with appreciation. But sorrow wells in his eyes, nearly threatening to overflow. Evander cups my cheek and presses his forehead against mine.

"If only you knew how deeply undeserving I am of your kindness."

"Quite the contrary." I meet his eyes and hold his gaze. "You are worthy of all the goodness in the world; you are worthy of second chances at happiness, of paths forward you never expected." I speak these words as much for myself as for him. "And I will prove it to you, Evander, however long it takes."