Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

That night, I'm able to cook for Aurora on a small fire, off to the side. I take the scraps of meat given to us by Conri and roast them until the juices run clear. Evander has found me two bowls—better suited for mixing than for eating from, so the leafy greens I foraged earlier look like a comically small amount. At the fire's edge are two root vegetables. Some kind of potato, so far as I can tell, that I rotate on occasion while preparing everything else.

"What did you two talk about?" Evander blurts after Conri leaves.

"Ah, thank you for finally asking," I say without looking up from tearing leaves.

"Pardon?"

"I could feel you had something you wanted to say ever since I returned to camp."

"I wasn't about to ask with him here," Evander mutters.

"Why do you want to know what we talked about?" I poke at the potatoes.

"I'm afraid he's trying to win you over, and that he might be succeeding." Severity and fear line Evander's words, accompanied by an undercurrent of disgust.

I sigh. Is that what's happening? In my effort to use Conri, is he using me?

"This is how it always goes…" Evander crouches next to me. "His charm wears everyone down in the end."

"Evander, my goal is to free Aurora." I drop my voice to barely a whisper, eyes flicking toward him. "My only goal is to free her. I will do whatever it takes to accomplish that. I will explore every option and opportunity. And if you resent me for that, I'll have to ask if you were ever really on my side to begin with."

Evander leans forward, putting his face in mine. I don't move. I don't back away. If there's one thing I'm starting to learn about the lykin, it's that they're constantly struggling for power—constantly looking for who has the upper hand and control in a situation. I can't show any trace of weakness or doubt.

"Other than Aurora herself, I am the only one here on your side. And I think my actions have proved that."

He makes it sound like I should be able to trust him without a moment's hesitation. I purse my lips, willfully ignoring the fact that I have, up to this point, found it dangerously easy to give him the benefit of the doubt. "If you're on my side, then why wouldn't you?—"

"Be willing to work with Conri?" Evander raises his brows. The firelight glows on half of his face, casting the other half in a deep shadow. "Because that is one of the few things that would be worse than death. Don't give in to him, Faelyn. His words are lies. His actions are a smokescreen for his intent. He can't be trusted."

"Yet, he continues to give me space. He listens to me when I speak. He even knows that I am working to resist his charm," I speak hastily, getting the words out before Evander can launch another objection.

"He what?" Evander hisses.

"He knows I am resisting him and he is not forcing the matter," I say. "That is why he gave me another cot. Why he is allowing me space and time as I need and please."

Evander purses his lips, brow furrowing into a severe expression. He murmurs, "That is not good."

"So far my life has been much improved here since my hesitation toward him came out."

"Faelyn, he is not a man who does well not getting what he wants."

"He said he likes the hunt." I pull the meat from the flame and turn the potatoes again.

Evander grabs my wrist, bringing my attention back to him. "Yes, he loves the hunt. But what do you think will happen if he doesn't get his prey at the end of it?" Evander continues to pin me with his stare. His expression is more demanding than his question. "Don't know? That's because, one way or another, Conri always gets his prey. He might be playing nicely with you now, but the moment he grows bored of this game, his tactics will shift, and the facade of a nice man you know will be gone."

As someone walks between two nearby tents, Evander immediately releases me, head jerking in that direction. But the person doesn't even so much as spare a glance our way. I use the moment to stab the potatoes, throwing them into the wooden bowls.

"You've been heard, Evander. Now I need to take this to Aurora."

He escorts me to her tent without further word on the matter. Though I can feel his frustration steaming as hot as the potatoes. Aurora is expectedly pleased to see us both and the warm welcome she gives Evander makes me feel a touch guilty over doubting him. She truly does trust him.

Her excitement doubles the moment she lays eyes on what's in the bowl. Evander leaves us to it, taking his position just outside the tent.

"Greens, vegetables, properly cooked meats?" Aurora sits cross-legged on the ground, situating the bowl in her lap. "How did you manage this miracle?"

"Conri went foraging with me."

Aurora pauses mid grab of a handful of greens. She shoves them in her mouth, chewing over them for a long minute.

I continue in her silence, "He knows what's been happening—more or less. That I've been resisting him…" I quickly recap her on the events of the past day. Her expression is impossible to read the entire time I speak. "… But I'm thinking that, if he's sincere, maybe there is a way for us all to get what we want."

"Not with him. Not Conri," she says finally, shaking her head slowly. "He will want you to believe it's possible. But there is no way he'd ever give in."

"And maybe he doesn't have to, not really," I say hastily. Her words echo Evander's and I feel more and more foolish by the moment for starting to trust Conri. "Maybe we can use him long enough to get what we need. If he thinks we're on his side, we can use that to our advantage."

Aurora considers this. "I'd rather you didn't."

I sigh heavily. "You and Evander…you both have given me such warnings about him. And I do believe you both." I glance toward the tent flap, hoping my voice is low enough that Evander doesn't overhear. "But Conri hasn't been the man that you've claimed. At least not to me. Maybe he really is trying to change and grow?"

"I have stood beside hundreds of wolf kings, and each one of them becomes as corrupted by their power as the last."

"Aurora, we mortals aren't a monolith. I know you have endured hundreds of years of hardship. But every single person has the capacity to change, if they want it."

" If they want it ," she repeats, emphasizing. "He never will."

I rest my elbow on my knee and sink my head into my palm. "I just don't know how to free you without his help. I saw Midscape, or just this portion of it… This world is expansive. I don't know if I could get us free of him and I fear his wrath should we try and fail."

"You are not alone in fearing his wrath." Aurora rests her fingertips on my free hand that is on my other knee. "Which is why we will not fail. We will continue gathering spirits to our cause and we will call on them when the time comes for us to make our flight. We will plan carefully and only act when we're sure."

I nod and straighten, trying to exude more confidence than I feel.

"So let's finish our meals and then we work on your magic again."

We spend one more night in the camp with Weylyn's pack, and then the tents come down. There are almost a hundred wolves now, running as one, thundering across the sloping plains. I do not find the same joy in the rides as I once did. The wind doesn't smell as sweetly with hope.

Every night between the two pack camps, we set up temporary tents. Yet Conri's remains the most established. Every night, I have my separate cot and he bids me to dream well.

Come the dawn, I am only more conflicted.

I watch Conri's every movement in search of betrayal. A hint of deception. But I can find none.

Given his past, all that Evander and Aurora have said, I don't think I could ever love him…but if he is trying to change, perhaps we could be friends. Or friends enough that he would be right and we could accomplish something meaningful for both our worlds.

Helping lykin and human alike is a far greater purpose than defending the woods. And when I am successful in restoring Aurora's power to her, I will need a purpose after. A goal.

Every morning I wake, thinking I will have more clarity than the last. But I only feel more muddled and confused.

"Faelyn," Conri says, announcing his presence as he enters the tent on our first night in the new pack's camp. "Are you awake?"

"I am," I say, even though he can plainly see as much.

Conri sits on the edge of his cot, near the foot. "If you are not too tired, I would love for you to hear our songs."

"Songs?"

"Yes, they will be sung around the bonfire." He extends his hand. "Come with me? But only if you wish."

I am curious enough that I accept the invitation. Conri escorts me out of the tent, Evander at his shoulder. We head to the large bonfire at the center of camp. Half of the pack sits or stands in a circle around it. I see pan pipes and simple, flat drums.

A man I recognize as one of the other alphas gives a respectful nod to Conri. Then he tilts his head back and lets out a noise that is not quite singing and not quite howling, but something between. It comes from deep in his gut and rises up the back of his head. Others lift their chins and howl in reply. It's a call and repeat, soon joined by slow and steady thumping of the drums.

The pack is soon breathing as one, sharp inhales part of the sound that is quickly becoming music. Each person seems to sing-howl one sound, but they do so in such quick succession that, together, they begin to form words.

"Evander, if you would?" Conri commands in so few words.

Evander steps forward. I think he is going to sing, but instead he approaches the bonfire. He holds out a hand, as if reaching for the flame, and closes his fingers. As his lips move, I watch the flames dance, eyes appearing within them.

Folost? I have never seen the little fire spirit look so mighty. Mary hasn't been the only one who's benefited from time in Midscape.

One blink of golden eyes. Yes. But yes to what? My question is answered as the fire burns low, Evander lowering his hands as if smothering it. The lykin then raises his right palm, fingers shifting, pulling it out to the side. Folost moves with Evander, as though the lykin is conducting the fire spirit.

The flames make shapes, of wolves and fanged crowns, of a glowing orb that looks like the sun but I can only assume represents the moon.

It is their history being told through the flickering yellows, oranges, and reds. A story echoed by the primordial, guttural howls that form words in an ancient tongue I don't understand. Yet…I find myself swaying with them. Breathing with them. The thrumming drums and sharp trills of pan pipes sustaining high notes gives a sweet dizziness akin to too much mead. Heart racing, slightly bubbly, but also the air thick with anticipation.

"Come," Conri says, just that one word. A command. Yet I heed it anyway when he extends his hand. "Dance with me."

He pulls me away from the crowd, yanking me toward him. His palm smooths over my hip, grazing around my rear, gripping firmly. My cheeks flush instantly and I glance around. There are so many eyes on us…

"Look at me," he orders. "Only at me."

And I do.

The movements are unlike any dance I've ever known. I never considered myself much of a dancer. But I have had my share of naked twirling under the full moon. This…is not unlike that. When I would dance in the woods I felt as light as the air itself. Here, now, I am heavy and hot, moving with words and howls and pulsing drumbeats.

Conri wraps his arms around my waist and leans forward. I tip backward, bending at the small of my back. My hips press into his. Conri growls low against my neck. I burn like the fire and my thoughts swim, swirling into an oblivion, leaving a void behind in my mind.

It would feel good …

The voice is back, the one egged on by Conri's charm. By the magic that makes all the men and women of the pack behold Conri with envy and lust. Conri pulls me up, our chests pressing. He spins me. Lifts me.

Drums pulsing. Sweat rolling down my neck. Howling in my soul and silver eyes that threaten to consume me… I am a ship at sea, being pulled away in the current. A leaf from a tree, helpless of where I will land.

My arms fly out and pain sears through the haze.

I blink, regaining focus. At first, I think I've gone too close to the fire. But I should be far enough away. A spark?

My gaze shifts, meeting Evander's dark stare beyond Folost's golden eyes. He had the spirit burn me intentionally, I realize. He wanted me to regain my focus.

"Forgive me." I rest my hands on Conri's shoulders, playing up my breathlessness. "I grow weary."

Conri's smile doesn't falter. His eyes hold the same burning passion that caused me to almost give in entirely to him seconds ago. "Of course. Let's take you to bed."

I am escorted back to the tent. As I sit on my cot, Conri leans over me, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Thank you for dancing with me," he whispers in my ear, lips brushing my cheek. "I cannot tell you how deeply I enjoyed it. Though I do wish I could show you how many more ways our bodies could move together."

"I—"

"Not right now." He leans away with a slight smirk. I wonder if he thought I was going to give in this time. After that dance…I can't fault him for it. "I have some matters to attend to with my knights and alphas." Conri cups my cheek, dragging his thumb over my lips. I shiver. "Though, perhaps later, if you are still so keen."

I don't have a chance to respond before he leaves the tent. I'm left breathless. Molten at my core. Sweat still rolls down my neck. The insatiable urge to touch myself is mind-numbing. But I resist leaning back onto my cot. If I pleasured myself now, I would be thinking of Conri…I'd be giving in to him.

But would it truly be so bad?

As if to answer the thought, the tent flaps open, revealing Evander. "We need to move quickly."

"What?"

"Don't fight me and just follow. There's something you need to hear. Now."

Something in his voice compels me to do as he says without delay. I step out and Evander draws me instantly against his side. His left hand on my hip. My flesh is still aflame and I am hyperaware of how his fingers press into me. Of the feeling of his body moving next to mine as he leads me through the camp.

We slink from shadow to shadow. His every motion possesses a grace I've yet to see from him. Evander's eyes shine in the growing moonlight. Sharp and alert. He seems to know who's around every corner before they say or do anything. I'm confident no one has seen us by the time we round the camp and slow to a stop at a tent on the inner circle—opposite from Conri's. A tent that seems as normal as the rest of them.

Evander raises a finger to his lips and crouches down, leading me closer to the wall of canvas. We stop and he leans an ear toward the canvas; I mirror the movement. While the tents are sturdy, they're still just fabric and I can hear almost every word without issue.

"…truly marry her?" a woman muses with a note of disgust. I don't recognize the voice.

"Would it be so bad?" Conri asks with a soft snort, as if he knows the answer to his own question. "A witch for a wife."

"A human ," she corrects with malice. "The wolf king cannot be having litters with a human. Even a weaver witch, the idea is unthinkable."

"I know, but I have little choice for the time being; so long as Aurora's magic is within her, it's a game we all must play." He sighs.

"You didn't look like you were playing a game with her when you danced." I recognize Weylyn's voice from the hunt, alpha of the last pack we collected.

"Good, then my performance was convincing enough." A chill, colder than winter's grasp, courses through my veins. The voice belongs to Conri, yet it's a stranger to me. His tone is unfeeling, calculating, and shifting. It is the lift of a curtain—a reveal behind the facade. As if, for the first time, I can hear the depths of his malevolence. "She thinks she can resist me. It's adorable, really, that she believes she can thwart me with magic when at the end of the day she's just a simple woman and giving in to her urges is something that her nature will compel her to do. No magic required. I'll make her bend before me in more ways than one."

I don't know which I'm more disgusted by, that he thinks me so basic, or that I've been playing right into his game.

"I have her in the palm of my hand. She'll play nicely enough and let us take her to Den."

"Where you will marry her?" the woman asks. She's this pack's alpha, I assume.

Conri snorts. "You really do believe that, don't you, Drena?"

"But you?—"

"I will take her to the old wood and bring her before the wolf spirit. There, we will cut out her heart and feed it to the great wolf, who will be ready to receive Aurora's power from the act. Then, that power will be passed from the wolf to me, as the king, where it will live forever in my bloodline," Conri says, matter-of-fact.

He never meant that the power would be in his bloodline by bedding me…

He is going to kill me.