Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

If Conri is aware of my venture out with Evander, he says nothing of it later that night. He makes no mention of my returning to Aurora, either. Or of my evening walk around camp with Evander—where I sneak off, again, as I have been.

Again, there are two cots set up in the tent. Side by side. We sleep apart and he makes no movement toward me. Not even for a kiss.

I find myself staring up at the ceiling of the tent for most of the night. Sleep comes intermittently. Time passes fast enough that I know rest was gained. But it was hardly of quality. How is it that I am more unnerved when he has stopped trying to seduce me?

When morning finally comes and he begins to rouse, I realize the night has been wasted. I am no closer to a plan to get Aurora out. No more confident in what the best course of action is for me to take. As a result, I'm hardly sure of what I want to do next.

"You're awake," Conri observes as he sits and stretches.

"I woke early today," I lie.

"Fortuitous for me."

"Oh?"

"I had half a mind to invite you on this morning's hunt." He sits and, as the blanket pools around his lap, I realize he decided to sleep without trousers.

I look instantly away, but not without seeing the top of the curve of his shapely rear as he stands. My cheeks flush slightly and I bite the insides, hoping that the pain clears my head a little and prevents him from noticing by the time he turns back around. "I am not much of a hunter."

"No? How did you sustain yourself, then?"

"There are many ways to sustain one's self that do not involve the flesh of other creatures." When I hear the gliding of fabric over skin, I dare to glance back. He's fastening the laces at the front of his trousers and, fortunately, I see nothing else.

"I suppose that is true. But what a sad existence to not indulge in meat regularly."

I snort. "The opposite is as much true. Perhaps your lands would still be rich with game should your people have taken a more balanced approach."

Conri gives me a hard look at the comment. I swallow thickly. That probably shouldn't have been said.

But he speaks before I have the opportunity to backtrack. "Perhaps you're right, and this is yet another way you can bring wisdom to the lykin. Though, I do not envy the battle you have ahead of you when it comes to convincing the lykin to indulge in less meat."

"Vegetables can be equally nourishing and twice as delicious if prepared right." I stand, deciding that I will go with him on this hunt. It's a good opportunity to continue getting a feel for the land. And, if I can see where game hides, it is an opportunity to help sustain Aurora and myself when we're on the road. The provisions I've kept hidden away will only last a few days as I had been planning on having other townships to stop into as we ventured through the Natural World. Here, we'll have to be much more self-sufficient.

"But much more boring to hunt." Conri smirks. "I do not think there is the same satisfaction in chasing down a carrot."

"Then you have never had the pleasure of a particularly good forage," I counter.

His expression spreads into an outright smile that lights up his eyes. "I shall show you the joys of the hunt this day, and you shall show me the joys of the forage."

"What?"

"Was I unclear?" He pauses, halfway to the tent flap. "We can both do that which we enjoy and share in it together."

"You want to learn how to forage?"

Conri turns and takes the two steps it is to close the gap between us. He rests his hands gently on my shoulders, meeting my eyes. "I don't think you understand, Faelyn. My main goal is to look after my people. Yes, sometimes that requires blood, and sacrifice, and brutality. Sometimes, there are perhaps gentler approaches I've yet to see. Maybe you can help me see them. I am willing to learn."

"Right," I murmur as he releases me and leaves the tent. The words ring in my ears. Another reminder of this strange man who continually leads me to believe in a pure and gentle nature despite my first impressions…and despite everyone else warning me against him.

"Evander, come, we hunt," Conri commands as we step outside. Evander's eyes dart between Conri and me. There's a silent question to them when they briefly meet mine. But there's no way for me to answer. "You will take the queen, as you have been. Ensure that no harm will befall her. I know how the scent of blood can rally the other alphas and knights."

"Yes, my king."

I fall beside Evander, dealing with the awkwardness of the radiating tension from him. Is he upset I'm doing this? Is there a danger I don't know of?

Within a few moments we've gathered with one woman and two other men. Bardulf I know already. Conri introduces the man as Weylyn, another alpha. The woman I've seen around camp, lingering in the same circles as Evander and Bardulf. Her name is Mell, another of Conri's knights.

"I will lead," Conri announces before taking on his wolf form.

Once more on Evander's back, we speed across the grasslands, fanned in the shape of an arrow point. Conri is at the front. Evander and I over his right shoulder. Weylyn is at his left. Bardulf is behind Evander and me with Mell behind Weylyn. The pace is blisteringly fast and all I can focus on is clutching Evander as tightly as possible.

Conri veers, shifting course without warning. His muzzle lowers and lifts, shifting positions as he runs, smelling earth and air. He's tracking something and I find out what over the slope of a nearby hill. The lykin's eyes catch the movement before I do. Gnashing teeth and excited snarls have my attention locking on to what they are all already focused on—a depression in the grasses, racing away from us.

Conri is faster than the creature. He leaps, jaws open. They clamp around the small creature and a horrible whimper fills the air before being cut short. The wolf king lifts his head, a gray hare caught between his jaws. Red seeps into the poor creature's fur around the fangs that have punctured its neck, killing it instantly. The wolf king's eyes meet mine and he trots over, placing the hare at Evander's side, by my foot, like an offering to me.

I force a beaming smile and nod my head for the sake of the others. I'm sure this is an important gesture in the lykin's culture and instinct tells me not to offend. Just as I'm sure Conri is looking for approval for his kill on my behalf.

It was an impressive feat, how he picked up the smell of the creature, found it, and killed it with such speed and accuracy. But in that dead hare I can't help but see a subtle warning. See , the seeping blood seems to say, look at how easily a life can be ended . Look at how fast and efficient I am at hunting and killing . The message is clear. But what I do not know is if it was intentional.

Swinging down off Evander, I do as they had instructed me before we left. I take the knife from my satchel and make a careful slit at the creature's throat. My larger hunting knife would've been more effective, if I still had it. But the small one does the trick. Then, I tie the hare upside-down to the strappings around Evander's neck so it will bleed out as it swings against Evander's side.

We repeat this process for three more hare and one fox. I am in the process of stringing up the last when Conri shifts out of his wolf form for the first time since we began the hunt. He helps me tie off the last of the knots, giving a hum of approval as his fingertips brush over mine.

"You're rather skilled with managing the kills of hunting for someone who claims not to do it much."

"I…" My hands still for a second as memories I've not thought of in a long, long time threaten to overwhelm me. For a flash, I am back in the forests. Another set of hands are on me as I clutch a bowstring. Two strong arms around me. The first time my heart fluttered. Deep breaths, Faelyn, easy, steady … I quickly recover, hoping Conri didn't notice my brief departure from the present. "Not many humans lived near the edge of the woods. The only others that did were hunters. Growing up so secluded was lonely, so having a companion was a welcome friendship, even if our lives were very different."

Liam. My first true love. My only love. The first day we ever met was one of the worst in my life: the day my mother died. But he was something good to come of all that grief. A shoulder to cry on. A new friendship blossomed out of trauma. And, eventually, something more…or so I had thought.

"You were close with this hunter," Conri observes.

I glance in his direction, finishing the knot that affixes the fox to Evander's side. The wolf knight glances over his shoulder at us. I wonder if he, too, is listening to this part of my history that I would sometimes rather forget. I've no doubt he is, given how little we've shared with each other about our origins.

Conri laughs, no doubt mistaking my hesitation. "I have had many lovers before you, my future queen. I assume the same to be true of you. So worry not for modesty and answer me true."

"I did care for him," I admit. "But then he left, and that was the end of it." Such an oversimplification of what actually happened. But also…so accurate. Liam's and my story isn't more complicated than that. I had given Liam all my heart. I was ready to give him all my body, and every year that was left ahead of me.

And, without a word, he left me waiting alone in the dark night.

"A fool to leave a woman such as you." Conri steps away from Evander. "Now, show me this foraging you so love."

It takes no small amount of mental effort to shift my focus from those old wounds and bring my attention back to the present. I haven't thought deeply of Liam for years. But it seems even a world away, there's so much that makes me think of him. Briefly, for the first time in a long time, I wonder what he's doing now. Did he find happiness separate from me?

"All right," I say, and kneel, pushing my fingers into the ground. "But I'm going to ask for the help of a friend, as I am unfamiliar with the best places to do so in these lands." I take a low, slow breath, and summon the magic that sleeps within me. It's easier to find that latent power since working with Aurora. Or perhaps there's just more of it to grasp at. "Mary, I seek your help."

Small marigolds bud around my hand, the largest blooming in place of my palm when I pull my hand away. Tiny vines stretch up in impossible ways, forming a doll-like humanoid. Mary's form is much smaller than I last saw her. But there's a sturdiness to her magic that I have never sensed before. Having her leave was the best thing that could happen for her.

It causes me to briefly wonder, yet again, what the true depths of Aurora's power might be, were she able to be free.

"Hello, Faelyn," Mary says in her sweet, whispering voice. "It is good to see you again."

All the wolves have gathered around us, even though they cannot understand the words. Conri looks on silently, a proud smile on his lips. I focus on Mary rather than the rest of them.

"And you as well. Do you think you have time and energy to help me forage? I don't know where to look, or what to look for in these lands. But, based on the terrain, I'm hoping for perhaps some root vegetables?"

"It would be my honor." Mary dips her chin and the vines sink back into the earth. Another marigold pops up a few steps away. And another beyond that.

"We'll follow her," I say to Conri in the common tongue. Shifting between the language of spirits and that of other mortals is instinctive and effortless.

Conri looks over his shoulder. "The rest of you, take the kills back to camp. They should be shared with the pack, sooner the better."

The four wolves lower their heads at their king. Evander's muzzle doesn't dip quite as far as the others, I notice. Following their king's command, they race off.

"It is impressive to watch a witch work," Conri appraises as we start walking in the direction of the next marigold bloom. "Your ability to summon spirits is uncanny."

"Evander summoned a water spirit for our passage."

"Evander is an odd lykin." Conri laughs lightly. "It is best not to use him as a measure for the rest of us. And he is far less graceful than you with these skills."

"Odd how?" I ask, trying to sound casual despite my deep curiosity.

"Careful, Faelyn, or I might be jealous of you inquiring about another man." Conri says the words easily enough, but I see the flash of warning in his eyes.

I laugh and link my arm with his. "I am only asking if I need to be worried about my sworn protector."

"Ah, nothing like that, my dear." He pats my forearm. "While the lykin can see spirits, we cannot commune or bond with them in the same way as a witch. It is what makes our oath to the great wolf spirit so unique, and a notable exception—we cannot simply call upon spirits as we please, or communicate with them."

I imagine that is also what makes Aurora so valuable to them… If they cannot call upon spirits, then they hoard what power they do have from them.

"There are some lykin who have an easier time harnessing our power and seeking out spirits than others, for one reason or another. But even then, it is not guaranteed the spirits will oblige. We cannot command their loyalty as you can." His wording grates.

"I do not command spirits."

"No?" He motions to the small flowers we're following.

"Mary is a friend."

"Are you not bonded?" Conri arches his brows at me.

"Yes, but?—"

"And a bond is a sworn oath to a witch that the spirit will lend you their powers as they are able, is it not?"

"It is," I admit, feeling somewhat backed into a corner. "But to be given a bond is to be deemed worthy of it. And while it is, admittedly, almost impossible to unravel a bond once tied, I would pursue undoing one if asked."

He's silent for a few steps. "You think I should free Aurora."

When I look up at him, he wears a slightly amused expression and an easy smile. If he's taken offense, it's not showing. So I dare to be brave. "I do."

"And what happens when she's freed and we lykin no longer have the strength to change into our wolf forms on command? When we are relegated to the moon's cycle? You know now that we have no other powers than this, as mighty as they are. How will we defend ourselves or keep the vampir's blight at bay in their mountains?"

"I am sure?—"

"How will a king be determined from among the alphas if not for control of the moon spirit? Without a method, we would inevitably return to the years of warring packs, fighting and squabbling amongst ourselves to the point that we lack any sort of real say or sway among the other rulers of Midscape should the Council of Kings ever reconvene."

It's my turn to be silent for a few steps. I know I should stop talking and let the matter drop…but my bravery continues walking with me, whispering in my ear.

"I do not know," I admit. "I don't know the politics of Midscape or half its magics." I pause to look up and meet his eyes. "But what I do know is that a king who is only able to be king because of entrapping another is no real ruler. He is a coward."

Conri stops as well and lifts his brows. The dull but somehow simultaneously dangerous look he gives me almost sets my hands to trembling. Almost. But I continue to stand tall. As long as I have Aurora's powers, I am immune to many repercussions. I hope.

To my surprise, he says, "Then perhaps, as a witch, you can assist me in finding a way to do that without risking my people's well-being."

"What?" I say, utterly flummoxed.

"A king has never been wedded to a witch before. Perhaps, with your magic, we can find a way to sustain my people, keep the peace, and free Aurora."

"You really think so?" A slight breeze picks up over the hills. It smells of fresh grass and surprisingly of hope.

"If you are willing to truly be at my side, Faelyn, then I think we could accomplish anything." The muscles of his arm tense around my hand. Somehow, I'd managed to forget that I had grabbed on to him.

Evander's warnings are loud in my mind. The sense of betrayal toward Aurora is sharp. But is it truly betraying her if the end result is the same? I am not going against what she would want…merely exploring another way.