Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

My thoughts and wondering persist long after Evander leaves me alone inside Conri's tent. I think I managed to act normal enough around him during our walk around camp. Whatever "normal" means for us.

I bury my face in my hands and steal a breath to myself. What am I doing pleasuring myself to thoughts of the man who burned down my home? I should feel disgusted with myself for it, but all I feel is more hatred toward Conri. Were it not for him, none of this—not one thing—would be happening.

I cling to that hatred when he finally enters the tent. As he does so, I catch one glimpse of Evander positioned outside. Our eyes meet, briefly, and then it's just me and the wolf king.

"My love." Conri holds out his arms and walks over to me.

My love, my mate, fantasy Evander whispers from the back of my mind.

I shiver as Conri embraces me. He chuckles and pulls away. Judging from the gleam in his eyes and the somewhat triumphant smile he wears, he thinks the shiver was solely because of him. It's for the best that I let him continue thinking that.

"I am so sorry to keep you waiting," he says. There's no indication that he smells Evander on me. Though, I trusted Evander to know what the keen senses of his kind would and wouldn't pick up.

"It's all right, darling." I try to add sweetness to my words and admiration to my gaze. Though all I feel inside is simmering loathing. "I took the opportunity to learn more about those that will soon be my people."

"Yes, the ones you will rule over with me." Conri sits and motions to the cot next to him. "How are you finding these lands?"

"Incredible."

"Truly?" He chuckles. "We are a humble people. But I am glad you find us to be so astounding."

"Even though I am familiar with magic, the powers of the inhabitants of Midscape are still astounding to behold. The spirits are so alive and well here. That alone is enough to make me never want to leave," I say, rooting my words in a kernel of truth. There are incredible things here. Conri not among them.

"I would desire to show you more incredible things…" He trails off, the air pregnant with the words unsaid. Conri takes my hand in his and then runs his fingertips up to my shoulder, tucking hair behind my ear as it slips around to the back of my neck. "Should you let me."

I feel no pull. No tug toward him. Be it my cape and the added protection I've stitched into it, the threads around my wrist, or the relief I just had—probably a combination of all—there's no desire to give in to Conri's touch. I can only hope this clarity lasts through the night.

"Forgive me, but the day was long and I am exhausted," I say gently, shifting my grip to pat the back of his hand. "Perhaps tomorrow? I would so love to see these incredible things," I add with a sultry note that sounds fake to my ears, but he seems to buy it. "But I want to ensure that I will satisfy you as well."

"Very well. Allow me to help make you more comfortable for slumber." It's not a question; he's already reaching for my cape. Conri rightfully suspects it's what's helping me resist him.

"There's a bit of a chill in the air tonight. I would like to sleep with it on."

"I will keep you warm." He's undoing the pin at the center of my neck. I swallow thickly and allow him to take it off, not seeing a way I could fight further without arousing suspicion. "There," he murmurs, guiding my face back to his, "isn't that better?"

"Yes, of course," I say.

"Now, kiss me."

I do. It is frustrating how, even still, with all this rage and all I know about the rotten inner core of this man, it is easy to kiss him. With the edges of his charm smoothing across my mind, reminding me just how handsome he is, it's almost enough to have me not caring about all those other things. Almost, but not entirely.

There is no overwhelming mindlessness that comes with the kiss this time. While I kiss him, I am fully aware of myself, and my actions. And the disgust that accompanies them. But I am in control of every movement. Including when I pull away, much to his confusion.

"Forgive me, my king, but I really am weary from the day. I'm not accustomed to this sort of travel."

"Yes, of course." He's forcing the smile. I can tell by how it pulls at his cheeks yet fails to reach his eyes. "Let us rest, then."

He stretches out in his cot, shifting and inviting me to lie next to him—my back to his front. I oblige, knowing I have little choice. The act is what's going to help me free Aurora and myself. The less Conri suspects, the easier it will be to break away. I just have to bide my time and wait…

Conri shifts behind me, pressing himself against me. He inhales deeply against my neck. I swallow thickly as the sensation sends a tickle down my spine. It's as if he can feel even that subtle reaction to his movements. He shifts again, grinding into me not so subtly.

"You smell delicious…like I could devour you," he says with a growl.

"I'd prefer not to be eaten." I try to laugh it off with a joke. The chuckle comes easily on the relief that he really can't seem to smell Evander.

"You don't have be shy. Here, you can engage in your deepest carnal acts without fear of judgment or reprisal. The lykin are not like most humans." His hand snakes around my stomach, grazing up my ribs.

I bite my lip and press my eyes closed. One small touch and he has me fighting a gasp. Conri can feel it. He kisses my neck lightly, the hand grazing the bottom of my breast.

It would feel so good , a voice whispers in the back of my mind, give in, you can still escape later…if you want.

No. I won't give in. I can't. But his hand shifts, threatening to make my mind go blank. If I'm not careful, he will reignite my urges. I have to fight this magic taking hold. I can't let him win. I won't.

My thoughts race, trying to focus on anything else. It's a war of my mind against his hands. His mouth. Nothing seems to distract me from thoughts of him. He's going to consume my last shreds of willpower if I don't?—

Evander .

The fantasy that saved me earlier returns to my mind with force. But rather than imagining Evander moving as Conri is…rather than allowing myself to get worked up faster…I think of every reason I have to hate Evander—of him taking Aurora, burning my home, taking me to Conri and putting me in this position. And that dovetails my mind back into all the reasons I have to hate Conri.

My thoughts are my own again. I grab the hand groping me, lacing my fingers firmly with his so that there cannot be any other movement on his part without my permission. He stops his kisses. His body goes still behind me.

"I am too weary," I insist, leaving no room for debate in my tone. Though, I do hold my breath, just a little. With all I've heard of Conri…will I have to defend myself more from him? How far will he go?

"Of course, darling." He kisses my neck lightly one last time and his hand relaxes in my grip. "I would never force a person to give something they had not otherwise freely given."

I almost point out Aurora, myself, Evander, everything else that I don't know but I've no doubt is evidence to the contrary. The words are so close to escaping. But I somehow manage to hold them back and continue playing nicely.

Conri settles at my back. I stay alert. Waiting. But his breathing slows and steadies. It's even and deep. He actually fell asleep.

I release a slow sigh, my muscles easing their tension. I did it. I somehow actually managed to thwart him and his charm. It's such a small thing…but it feels like a monumental triumph.

That being said, relaxing enough to sleep is a completely different story altogether.

Morning breaks not with the cry of birds, but a howl. I jolt upright, startled. My heart hammers in my chest.

Conri roars with laughter. "Faelyn, you are a delight, even when you steal all the blankets." So I have; they're on the floor, thrown off by my movement. "There is nothing to worry for. It is just the pack alpha alerting everyone that today is a day to move."

"I see." I place my hand on my chest, as if trying to force my heartbeat to slow.

"Don't be afraid; we are surrounded by my most loyal knights—men and women who would die for me. You have nothing to worry about ever again. I will be responsible for you forevermore."

"Thank you. It is truly a relief," I say and force a slight smile. He intends it to be reassuring…but all I hear is that I am surrounded by people loyal to him. People who will follow his every command. Save for one man . "How long will it take us to get to the old wood where the great wolf spirit lives?"

"We will cross the Lykin Plains to Den. On the way, we'll gather a few of the other packs that roam these lands so they will bear witness to our union. Gualla is our halfway point—the lykin's largest city. After resting there and resupplying, we'll continue to Den. In the grove there is where we will say our vows before the altar of the great wolf spirit and…" He trails a finger up my spine as the words trail off. "…we will consummate our union for all to see."

"And this journey will take us…days? Weeks?"

"Hasty, are we?"

"Can you blame me?" I glance over my shoulder with a slight smile. "I will become the queen of the lykin. It is an honor I look forward to."

"I promise, I will not keep you waiting long." He sits and kisses my temple, holding the other side of my head as he does. Every movement seems to immobilize me, reminding me that I am completely in his hands and control. "You shall be my bride before the seasons change."

Before the seasons change… It is nearly midsummer. If he is basing his timing off the autumnal solstice, then I should have nearly three months.

But Conri said "before" the seasons change. Does that mean it's sooner than that? I can't keep pressing the matter, so I sit and stew until he bids his farewells. After he's gone, I make a slow count to thirty. Pacing with every second. And then I collect my things, throw my cape over my shoulders, race to the tent opening, and push out the tent flap just enough to catch a glimpse on the other side.

Evander is there.

"Have you been there all night?" I ask. His eyes turn to mine and I'm reminded of every fantasy I had to leverage of him to keep my mind clear against Conri last night. Who would've thought that the only way I could find to ward against the wolf king's charm is fantasizing about his sworn knight?

"I slept. Bardulf took the middle night position," Evander answers.

"I hear we're moving." I take the lead, striding out of the tent.

He gives me a curious look, but falls into step beside me. "Yes, another three days of running until we get to the next pack. Likely a week to the pack after. Then a few days to Gualla. After that, two weeks to Den. Depending on the pace Conri wants to set and if he wants to go to every pack personally."

There's almost a month of traveling there, plus whatever time we spend in Gualla. Then if we're in Den for a while to prepare for the ceremony…maybe I have two full months?

We come to a stop before Aurora's tent. Luckily they haven't started breaking it down yet.

"A moment." I excuse myself and enter.

Aurora is seated on her cot, pleasantly surprised to see me. But worry has her brows upturning slightly in the middle. "How did last night go?"

"It was all right," I say, taking my seat next to her, just as I did last night. "Let me rephrase. It was horrible being next to him, but I didn't give in. Though I did kiss him again, just so he wouldn't be suspicious. But I managed to keep my head about me."

"A smart play." A genuine smile cracks her lips. "I'm relieved to hear our plan worked."

"Me too." I take her hands in mine and give them a squeeze.

Aurora's expression falls with her gaze. "Though, I wish I hadn't put you in a position where you had to do these things."

"You didn't," I say firmly. I'll say it a thousand times, if that's what she needs to hear. And then a thousand times more. "All of this is Conri's doing; and that's why we're going to escape him." Her head jerks back towards mine, as if she's surprised I'm still adamant about this. It's my turn to give her a slight smile.

"I've heard our travel plans," I continue. "I think it's best if we wait till we get to Den and then make our move. I still have the supplies I gathered for our journey and they'll keep. We might be able to gather more in Gualla. I have Folost and Mary who will come to our aid if I call for help. And on the journey to Den, you can teach me how to use the magic of yours that's in me. I'm hoping I can use it to find more spirits to bring to our cause."

Her eyes widen slightly, the dark voids threatening to swallow me whole. Her words quiver. "There is no escaping, not for me…"

"Those are Conri's words, not yours," I say firmly. She opens her mouth to object, but I speak over her. "You escaped once."

"But I had help."

"And you'll have help again," I insist, squeezing her hands as Evander calls in that it is time for us to go. I stand. "Don't lose faith, Aurora. I made you a promise and I intend to keep it."

Bardulf is waiting on the other side of the tent flaps to take Aurora away. Other lykin begin to break down the tents. I leave in the opposite direction with Evander. Walking slowly as we make our way toward the center of camp where everyone is beginning to gather. The pack is markedly larger than yesterday.

"Evander," I say softly. He slows his pace as well, showing me he's listening. "You helped Aurora once; will you help her again?"

He says nothing, gaze drifting from the ground to the distant horizon. He's silent for long enough that I look up at him expectantly, bracing myself for what is to come. Will he deny it, thinking that I am firmly under Conri's spell? Will he be aghast that I would even dare ask so boldly?

It is bold. But I have to be. I'm trying to thwart a wolf king.

I pause, shifting to face him. That brings his eyes to mine. He can't look away. I command all of his attention and it sends a tingling rush across my skin.

"I need to know if you're really on our side." I still don't know why he would be. But his actions suggest he is. Evander's motivations are obscured, but I'm not going to question them when we need all the help we can get.

Finally, after what feels like forever, he offers me a slow nod. "I will always be on your side, Faelyn."

The side that isn't Conri , is what I assume he means. The best option we all have.

I nod. "Good. We start laying our plans in the coming weeks." I start walking again, feeling somewhat like a general charging off to war.

"What do you need of me in the meantime?" He wears a slight smile, as if he finds all this amusing. I suppose if he's risking his life, amusement is better than complete and utter terror.

"I'll let you know as the time comes. For now, hold until further orders." I embrace this new vision of myself. Conri has his knights and alphas. But I have a knight of my own, the moon spirit herself, and hopefully, soon, an army of other spirits ready to get Aurora across the world and returned to the sirens.

"As my lady commands."

We arrive in the center of camp, where everyone is amassing. It isn't long until the lykin have taken their wolf shapes and Aurora and I are back on Conri and Evander's backs.

I grip the fur between his shoulders, right at the nape of his neck. He glances back at me and our eyes meet once more. My heart skips a beat. My breath catches.

With a brief howl and a leap, Conri is off, leading the charge. I suck in my core, and lean forward slightly as my wolf knight and I charge toward the horizon.