Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

The meat is distributed among the pack one tiny strip at a time. Children are brought up first with their parents hovering over their shoulders. But the adults don't take any. They return to their places in the greater circles to wait until it is their turn to come up to eat.

I didn't think there were that many people in the pack until I see how quickly what little food there is goes. I grab the strap of my satchel at my shoulder tightly, thinking of what little rations I still have inside. Evander could've taken them when he had possession of my effects. But he didn't. I glance up at him, and then back to the line.

He mistakes the look. "It'll be our turn soon. We'll go up following the knights and other alpha, with Conri."

"And Aurora?"

"Conri has decided that she won't be allowed to leave her tent while we are in camp, save for when we're moving from place to place."

"I see." A frown tugs at my lips. I suspect the moment he's back to their permanent settlement, he'll have shackles fashioned for her. We'll have to leave before then. Which means, no matter how badly I want to dip into the supplies, I must preserve what rations we have. "Why is there so little food?"

"Have you seen any game on these plains?" Evander asks. I shake my head. Nor have I seen any of the hallmarks that larger game would need for life—like regular watering holes or a variety of animals in the food chain. "There used to be many animals—elk, bison, others…but the ancestral packs hunted them to extinction. They burned and deforested the lands of their enemies to starve them. Those early days of fighting and destroying without care for each other or our lands was part of what prompted Bewulf to unite the packs. It worked, for a time. Until it didn't and everything went back to the way it was. Now we survive on the scraps left behind by our forefathers."

Conri was telling the truth, I realize, when he spoke of venturing into the Natural World to seek more fertile land for his people. I tuck the information away, unsure of how I want to process it yet.

"Is all of Midscape barren like this?" I ask, thinking of what else Conri said—about not being able to venture past his borders for fear of the Elf King and vampir.

Evander shakes his head. "There are mountains to the south, southwest of here where the vampir live, forests beneath them that have always been contested territory between us and the vampir, and more land farther west. But the lykin have long demanded that others stay out of our misty plains and hills so we do the same for them."

"Much like the early treaties between lykin and the witches." I think of the barrier.

He nods. "Our turn for food."

The conversation ends as we approach the central fire. Meat is cut from bone with deft skill to ensure nothing goes to waste, and handed to me raw. I can see why Aurora grew weary of meat…and why she'd want it well cooked were she to have it.

"I think she would prefer it seared." Conri steals my thought, reaching around me to take the meat and skewer it on a long dagger. I am caught between his arms as he moves, dagger flashing in the firelight right in front of my face. I wonder if it is intended as a threat, because that's the message I gather.

"Thank you," I say politely as he holds it out to the fire, Evander taking a step back to give him room.

"You are most welcome." Conri singes it for only a few seconds, bringing it back before me. He plucks the meat off the dagger point with his free hand, holding it in front of my face. "Eat, my future queen."

Stomach churning, I force myself to take a bite from his hand. Everyone is watching him feed me this chewy, gamey strip of meat. It is a show for my benefit and theirs. A display of ownership.

I barely resist the urge to push him away. The dagger still near my throat is good motivation. I swallow down the meat and with it my pride. Fortunately my cape seems to be protecting me from his charm, for now. But I'll need to act like it isn't if I want to have any hope of keeping it on my shoulders.

"My future king." I tilt my head back with a languid smile, pausing to admire him. As though he is the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld. Sad thing is, he could be…were it not for the disgusting nature he hides underneath his handsome face. "Have you brought food for Aurora yet?"

"Not yet, my love." He leans down and kisses the exposed part of my neck lightly. The touch stirs me in a way I do not wish for. Words, and looks, my cape might be able to protect me from…but touches? Especially skin-to-skin ones? I am already ablaze. He will turn me into a puddle with another peck if I'm not careful. "Though I feel I have a hunger for something other than food now. I shall send someone?—"

"No," I say quickly. Perhaps a little too forced. But I had to overcome the haze that was overtaking me. I brace myself as I turn to face him and dare to rest my hand on his upper thigh. The contact doesn't affect me. I'm not sure if it's because I initiated, or because there is the cloth of his trousers between our skin. Something to test in the coming days and hours. "She needs to see you. We shall have time later. Do what must be done for the spirit that looks after the great pack."

Conri smiles sweetly and kisses my forehead. Elation surges through me as he says, "You will be a good queen, looking after our kin so attentively. Very well, I'll see what Aurora needs, and then return to you."

He steps away and my chest is straining against my shirt underneath my cape. I am near breathless, just from that. Ready to beg for sweet release. Aurora was right…I can't go to him tonight without some kind of relief. Even my cape wasn't enough.

"See to it that she is ready in my tent within the hour," Conri commands Evander.

"Of course, my king." Evander bows his head.

Conri takes a strip of meat in hand and walks off. The absence of the wolf king prompts the pack to relax, the thrall of his presence leaving them. Some wander off; others choose to lounge by the bonfire. Many shoot me wary and angry looks.

Have him , I want to scream. Old gods, take him from me and Aurora; we do not want him! But no one will. Because they can't. We have been claimed by the king and there is nothing any of them can do to change it.

"Let me show you more of the camp," Evander says. "If you are to be our queen, you should know more about us."

"Thank you." I smile and follow him away, listening attentively as he gives me more facts about how the different packs roam the lands, maintaining the towers that keep the barriers strong, defending the few permanent settlements that are usually clustered near them. Whereas other packs stay in the cities and towns of the lykin permanently, focusing on the craftsmanship that helps support the rest of their people.

All the while, we're both looking over our shoulders. Keeping track of all the others near us.

Without warning, Evander says, "Now," and lifts a tent flap.

I duck inside and he follows closely behind.

The night closes in around us at an instant, filtered through the heavy canvas, unfettered by any light or candle. The distant bonfire casts an orange-tinted glow on one side of the tent—on one side of Evander's face as he stares at me intently. I am well aware of how alone we are and I draw my cape closer around me, the act making me think of his arms around my body the other night and not of Conri's proximity only a handful of minutes ago.

The bedroll is familiar, even though the tent is large enough now for us to stand in. No longer is he sleeping in a simple triangle tent; the king's knight has been upgraded to a tent large enough to properly stand in.

"Do what you need quickly; we shouldn't linger or someone might take notice." His voice has dropped to a hush. I can't tell if he truly has no idea about what the goal of this little escape is or not.

"Then can you please step outside for a few minutes?"

"No." That brings my attention back to him. At my pointed stare, he elaborates, "I can't linger outside and risk being seen without you. Conri has charged me personally with your care."

"And sneaking off with me into a tent, alone, is better?" I ask, somewhat curious, somewhat annoyed that he isn't just doing as I want. This would be so much simpler if I could just be done with it.

"No one saw us come in. Others will likely assume that we're in another area of camp." He folds his arms. "Don't let me stop you from doing whatever magic it is Aurora has charged you with." As he speaks, my cheeks are warming. "I assure you, I have seen all manner of magic and?—"

"It's not magic," I interject. The heat has nearly reached the tops of my ears. Thank goodness for the near total darkness of the night. I hope his lykin sight isn't keen enough for him to behold my embarrassment.

His arms fall to his sides. "What, then?"

I inhale deeply and exhale any traces of shame. "I need to relieve myself."

He blinks. "The camp latrines are?—"

"No, you dense man, I need to satisfy myself in a carnal way to remove some of the temptation of Conri's charm." I lock eyes with his and say the words slowly and clearly, refusing to allow for any misconceptions.

He holds my gaze. "I see."

"I think I would find the task much easier, and faster, if you could just step outside."

"I told you, we can't risk it."

"Not even for five minutes? I assure you it's not the first time I've done this, I won't be long," I say with a soft laugh.

"Is it worth the risk of me being flayed?" He takes a small step forward, staring down at me.

"Of course not," I say, less demanding than the last.

"Because that is what you're asking me to risk. If Conri sees that I have abandoned my post at your side, I cannot trust all my flesh will remain attached to bone."

"Why does anyone follow him?" I breathe in horror.

"Because some are as cruel and wicked as he is. Most know nothing else, or they have no option because he controls Aurora and therefore has powers none of us can challenge. Pick one, or a mix, they're all viable explanations and the outcome doesn't change." Evander sighs. "I can go over here and cover my ears." He steps toward the entrance, putting his back to me and raising his hands to the sides of his face. "I swear, my eyes are closed and I will not look."

It's the best option I have. I slowly sit on the cot with his bedroll…the bedroll I slept in just last night. Lying back, I stare up at the top of the tent. The canvas is stained a deep blue with the starry shades of night.

My hand slides down my side, over my hip, finding its place between my thighs. It moves slowly, lacking momentum, trying to find its purpose. This is as straightforward as a spell, I insist to myself. I do the right motions, create the right sensations, breathe in the right way, and things should begin to go…

I force my eyes closed and focus. All I need to do is find that rising need in me. It has been forever since I was last touched. It shouldn't be hard to summon.

But right when I have it, my thoughts wander to the wolf king. Conri's lean body fills my mind. Hard and strong. His brown hair slicks to his neck, curling over his shoulders, framing the tattoo at the center of his?—

No. No, no, no . My eyes snap open and I sit. I will not pleasure myself to the thought of that man. I am doing this to free my mind from him. Not to allow him to worm deeper into it.

Try again.

My back is against the cot once more. Hand in position. I force my eyes closed and try to think of anything—anyone else. But the innkeeper's son I sneaked into an unused room with slowly morphs into Conri in my mind's eye. The traveler I met on the road and lay with underneath an old oak becomes the king atop me.

It's not as though I have a deep swath of sexual experiences to draw from. Liam, the only man I ever loved, he left me with nothing but kisses and a broken heart. Neither of which are enough for me to shake the visions of Conri that plague my every thought. It's as if the wolf king imprinted himself on me in a mere day's time.

Think of someone else, literally anyone else…

Then, my mind takes a turn I wasn't expecting.

Perhaps it is the smell of the cot. The location. His proximity…but the phantom sensation of Evander's arms slipping around me overtakes me once more. I feel his breath, hot on my neck. As if he's really there…

My hand moves with more purpose. I shift, leaning into it. Allowing myself to get lost in my body.

In my fantasy, I turn. My legs wrap around Evander's waist and I tangle my fingers into his black, silken locks. He bites at the base of my neck, as though he were a vampir, but then lets out a growl that's all lykin.

Yes, my love, my mate, that's it, he would whisper in my ear as my hips rolled against his. That's it…don't hesitate. Let yourself go. Give yourself to me.

Yes , my every movement says in reply. Take me. Undo me. Make me yours.

A soft whimper escapes my lips. I can't tell if it's real, or my fantasy. I'm so lost in the sensations…every motion sweeter than the last. My other hand is assisting in the pleasure, underneath my shirt. Working me to a delicious breaking point.

Come for me , the Evander of my imagination commands. I've never received such a deliciously crude request before. So outright. So bold.

It snaps me in two. My back arches off the cot. I bite into the bedroll to keep myself from calling out or moaning as my body trembles and shudders. Luckily, I learned how to keep myself silent, and as the haze of pleasure leaves me, I'm fairly confident that I made no noise.

Swinging my feet off the cot, I stand and adjust myself, ensuring nothing is out of place. Clothes smoothed over and my composure collected, I take the few steps to Evander. But my hand hovers just short of touching his shoulder. My thoughts are still in my fantasy. Of him. Of all that bare skin against mine…

I swallow thickly and tap him. He turns to face me. Somehow, that's worse because now I can see his sharp, hungry eyes. As though he really could devour me whole.

Come for me , the rogue whisper echoes through my mind and I fight a shiver.

"We should go," I force myself to say, voice level. I'm not sure how long I took, but it's probably better to move faster rather than slower.

He nods. "We should take a few laps around camp, make sure any smell of me has time to air out of your clothes."

"Right." I glance back at the cot as he leads me out of the tent. My thoughts continue to wander back to what just happened. Why, out of everyone, did I have to choose him? No, that question I can answer. He's achingly handsome in almost every way that has ever appealed to me. And he's a relatively unknown person to me, still. I can impose whatever fantasy I need upon him like a blank canvas.

The better question is why, out of everyone, out of all possible fantasies I tried to conjure, was Evander the only one that Conri's magic charm couldn't break through?