Chapter 12

Ipushedthehair back from my face and stood looking down at the assorted ingredients on the table, pondering what to add to the mix to counter strong elemental water magic. The next creature I was going to attempt to free was a being called a water weaver. Rare. Reclusive. Able to call up floods or monsoons and conjure water from thin air.

I snorted to myself at the thought of the Lovell Horror House floating away on a magic tsunami. I suppose that would take care of the damned booby traps and artifacts, wouldn"t it? At the very least, the place and all its nasty junk would be off my property—it was someone else"s problem, then. A girl could dream.

To balance out the water element…metal. I had some moonstone and some hematite somewhere around here. And. Oh! Wild Gynostemma. I had some of that in the cupboard. And there was some mugwort in the overgrown back garden—the one Aahil hadn"t burned down with his little tantrum.

I turned to head that way and nearly collided with seven feet of winged, horned, stone-skinned lurker. Zhong stepped out of my way, as silent as ever, then followed me to the garden. It was eerie how quietly the big, heavy stone guy moved. And of course he was my constant shadow now.

It was annoying as hell. But also…I felt bad for the guy. I might be an asshole, but I wasn"t blind. Gargoyles were loyal and devoted by nature. He clearly felt lost and alone, and he needed someone to cling to. I wasn"t going to be like every other dumbass magical practitioner and just abandon him. This was just his nature. He couldn"t help it. I handed him a basket and some garden shears. "Here. Do you know what mugwort looks like when its ready to be picked?"

His yellow eyes were intent and curious. "No, master. But if you"ll show me?"

I nodded and fought my way through the tangle of wild, overgrown plants and weeds. "Here," I said crouching to show him a nice head of mugwort. "See how these clusters here have a bit of pink to them? That"s what you want for this sort of spell. I need that whole basket full. I"ll be cooking it down to make a big vat of strong tea."

He nodded and carefully snipped the cluster of mugwort off and placed it in the basket. "I will gather all I can find. What will you do with the tea? Is it for freeing the water weaver, or for some other spellwork?" He looked down at his knees as he crouched there. "I"m sorry master. I"ll be quiet."

I reached over and shoved him, taking him by surprise enough that he fell on his butt in the weeds. His surprised yellow eyes met mine and I grinned. "Stop apologizing for existing. You can ask questions. If you"re being obnoxious, I"ll tell you. But I like talking about plants and witch magic—as long as it"s not being used to torment people." I moved off with my own scissors to find some mugwort to murder. "I"ll make the tea and douse the ground before summoning the water weaver. The mugwort is a plant associated with the water element, and it"s good for mental stability. The poor guy might need that after being trapped in the book. And using the water for a carrier will help tie the spell to the earth, which is where my power comes from."

He nodded as he worked. "It will anchor things. Give you some control."

I sighed. "Yeah, hopefully. Though honestly, I haven"t really been able to control anyone who comes out of that book, so I"m not holding my breath on this one.

He came closer to let me put my pile of mugwort into the basket. "You risk so much to free creatures you"ve never even met."

I shrugged. "Well, someone"s gotta fix what my family fucked up."

He patted my back with one big mitt. "It is noble of you to take up that mantle."

"Nah," I huffed. "I just want that book gone. And besides," I held up my arms so he could see Aahil"s markings. I didn"t want the big guy developing some kind of hero worship over my masochistic stupidity. "I kind of have to do it. Aahil said he won"t release me from his bond until I free everyone in the book." Even if I had already planned on doing that anyway. Asshole.

Zhong"s yellow eyes narrowed. "The jinn is in chaos. Unstable."

I laughed. "You have no idea, dude. But he"ll get bored of his games and go away eventually. At least that"s what all the textbooks say—that they"re easily distracted. Some shiny new thing will come along." I hoped. Goddess, did I ever hope. So far, the hot little terror had showed remarkable stubbornness in his need to annoy me.

Zhong and I worked along companionably for a time. He asked occasional questions about magic, and I remembered that he had wanted to learn, once upon a time. I helped fill in what blanks I could in his knowledge, not that I had much formal training of my own. It was nice, having someone around who didn"t want to kill me or keep dangerous secrets from me, or snark at me constantly because we weren"t admitting that we were catching feelings. Zhong was…comfortable.

Goddess, I really was losing my mind. But I wondered if the house back in the mundane world would look good with a gargoyle on the roof. Would the neighbors complain?

Eventually, I made my way back inside, sweaty and covered in dirt from crawling around in the weeds. I managed to get Zhong to stop following me long enough so I could take a bath, by giving him a pile of children"s magic primers to read. I left him in the newly cleaned study with Bis perched atop the giant"s head, clinging to one curling black horn. Then I slipped away to my room.

I passed Niamh in the courtyard on the way. She waved distractedly with one hand as she coaxed a seedling to life with the other, still hard at work on her quest to repopulate my scorched courtyard. I tried to tiptoe past the room Aahil had claimed, stepping over the creaky floorboard and shuffling along the carpeted runner. But of course he sensed me anyway.

"Witch!" he called, opening his door to lean against the frame, wearing nothing but his loose, flowy harem pants and a whole lot of body jewelry.

The light from the window across the hall glinted off his gold nipple rings and the ruby gem of his belly button piercing. I forced my eyes to focus on his, noting the red flecks in the liquid gold. I stared at his long black eyelashes, rather than at his wicked, sensual mouth, or his lean, muscular dancer"s body. "What?" I snapped.

He smirked at me, as if he knew exactly how hot he was and exactly how hard it was to hate him and want to lick him at the same time. "Come here, pet."

He spun on a bare foot and padded back into his room. Ah, hell. That was a bad idea. I"d probably end up horny or dead. Maybe a little of both.

I stomped after him, crossing my arms over my chest and realizing just how damp my sweaty tank top was. Ugh. He stopped by the dresser and picked up a bit of black ribbon, bringing it over to me. "Bend down," he commanded.

I arched my brow at him. But if I just did what he wanted, maybe he"d leave me alone and I could get to my bath sooner. I bent at the waist so he could fasten what I realized was a choker around my neck. When he was done, I straightened and looked in the mirror of the small vanity that stood nearby. A large ruby glimmered at the center of the necklace, winking as if it held a live flame in its center.

"Uh. Thanks?" I said awkwardly. What did one say to the psychopath who wanted to murder you, but also kind of turned you on and had just given you jewelry?

He reached up and touched the stone with one graceful finger. "Every pet needs a collar," he purred. "It helps remind others who you belong to."

Aaand there it was. Aahil being Aahil. I immediately tried to unfasten the necklace, only to find that there was no clasp. I heaved a sigh, dropping my arms to my sides, not even trying to yank the ribbon off by force. He had magicked the damned thing on me.

"I hate you," I informed him.

His smirk faded, replaced with a look of disdain. "Oh, I"m so hurt by that, Lovell. Did you think I longed for your affection?"

I rolled my eyes. "Goddess forbid." Turning, I walked out of the room and across the hall to my own bedroom, slamming the door behind me and locking it.

Fucking jinn.

So maybe, yeah, some tiny, small, very miniscule part of me had hoped he was being nice for once. That maybe my apology the other day had finally worked its way through his stubborn skull and into his pea-sized brain. But nope. Now I was collared like a dog. Fan-fucking-tastic.

I made sure the bestiary was still where I"d left it, resting on a bookshelf near my bed for safekeeping. Then I made my way into the bathroom for a nice, long soak in the large, ornate tub.

Mostly, I hated the creepy family estate and everything in it. But every once in a while, I could see what it might have been. If it hadn"t been inhabited by pure evil for hundreds of years. It might have been a magical place—in the fairytale sense—full of comfort, and luxury, and pretty things.

I felt like a princess as I sank down into the massive clawfoot tub with its gleaming swan and flower spout and handles. I leaned back with a sigh, covered in mounds of fragrant bubble bath from a recipe I had created myself. The afternoon sun lit up the tall window with brilliant color, making the stained-glass painting of splashing mermaids and fauns seem as if it would come to life.

I barely remembered the place from my childhood. Bath time then had been a strict affair tended to by a nanny who insisted I make sure I didn"t leave a trace of hair or DNA anywhere, lest an enemy use it to cast black magic against me. Never mind that a toddler shouldn"t have enemies to begin with. I was a Lovell. That meant it was my destiny to be universally hated.

Now, I luxuriated in the tub, scrubbing my hair and body, then spraying off with the handheld sprayer that was shaped like a leaping dolphin. I gave not a single fuck about leaving behind bits to be used against me. I was already subtly cursed, and everyone in the magical community was either afraid of me or preferred to pretend I didn"t exist. I was pretty sure no one was going to sneak into my bathroom in search of hair.

And if they did? Fuck "em. I wasn"t going to live my life in fear, no matter what the people who birthed me had tried to instill in me.

I reclined with my head on the back of the tub, cushioned by a bath pillow, humming to myself while my mind drifted from one thing to the next. I tried to focus on a million other things. But I couldn"t help lifting my hand to run my fingers over the collar Aahil had placed around my neck. The red stone was warm to the touch—warmer than my body or the bathwater—and I could feel a bit of the jinn"s wild magic inside it.

My traitorous mind drifted back to that moment the other day, when he"d pinned me to the bed and threatened to use my body. Irritating. Asinine. Beautiful…seductive, full of wicked promise. Ugh.

My hand slipped beneath the water, slicking over my heavy breasts and my round stomach, my legs parting as I moved lower, finding my clit and stroking slowly, sending bursts of pleasure through me. What would it be like to be owned by the jinn? It was a stupid thought. Dangerous. Illogical after how he acted. But…my breath quickened.

I was pretty sure I was just as awful as the rest of the Lovells, I just expressed it a bit differently.

Aahil had pretty much admitted to being a pleasure slave himself at one point. And the man oozed heat and lust. Who knew how old he was—how long he"d had to practice? He could probably do things to me that I couldn"t even begin to imagine.

I shivered as the pleasure built, rubbing my clit faster, racing toward the orgasm that was right there. I thought of Aahil, of all that dark, off-limits sensuality. Water splashed over the rim of the tub as I came fast and hard, biting back the name that wanted to escape my lips.

I sat in the tub panting, somewhat mortified that I just got off to the thought of Aahil the dickbag. Whatever. He was hot. Ha, ha. Punny Andy, real punny.

Sighing, I heaved myself up out of the tub, pulled the plug, and got dried off. I padded into my bedroom in my towel and collapsed on the bed, my tired brain already returning to the spell prep I needed to do. I thought of Zhong and our amiable conversation while he did something helpful and assisted me in the garden earlier. Why couldn"t my lusty fantasies focus on someone nice, for once?

Visions of miles of gray, marbled muscle, intense yellow eyes and curling black horns immediately rose up. I wondered what his chiseled lips would feel like, what that smooth skin would feel like against my own. I already knew how soft his springy steel gray curls were, and how well he liked to follow directions….

I put my face in my hands and let out a frustrated, muffled groan. Well, turns out I could fantasize about nice guys too. Way to go, Andy.

A cold shiver danced across my skin, the magic in me standing at alert in response to the faint echo of another powerful magic user. I turned my head to find Elijah"s misty form hovering alongside me, as if he were stretched out on the bed on his back, hands folded over his middle. I could see the bedding through him, and his features were indistinct, except for the glowing blue orbs where his eyes should be. "Having unwanted thoughts?" he said in his hollow voice.

I flopped onto my side to face him, one hand under my pillow. "Decided to stop being a coward and come talk about withholding information?"

He made a ghostly approximation of a sigh. "I"m sorry Oleander. I never meant to hide things or lie in a malicious way. But surely you can see how telling anyone what I am—especially a powerful witch of the Lovell line—would be a grave mistake."

I huffed. "I"m not that powerful. And I get it. I do. But still. What else are you hiding from me, Elijah? Do you have some kind of ulterior motive here? Are you really just interested in freeing everyone and destroying the book? Or are you…I don"t know…hoping you"ll have your revenge when one of them finally kills me? You"re not…hoping I can restore you or strengthen you into a revenant or something, are you? Because let me tell you right now, I don"t do death magic." Not only was necromancy illegal, it was also disgusting and way beyond my limited abilities.

His form swirled into smoke, then coalesced facing me, aping my posture as we both lay on our sides. "You say I shouldn"t fear you because you"re not a powerful witch. But..you are powerful, Andy. Much of your power is dormant, underutilized, untrained. But you"re the most powerful Lovell I"ve ever met. You just don"t realize it yet." He sent out a misty appendage to stroke along my face, the cool touch tingling along my aura. "I know now what a treasure you are—that my initial instincts about your moral compass and your fortitude were correct. I don"t mind you knowing what I am now. But I had to be sure first."

I rolled my eyes.

"As to the rest…of course I don"t want any of those other things. I…when I was alive, when I was an angel, I was self-righteous and arrogant. I believed the propaganda and lies my people tell themselves so that they feel superior. My choir, in particular, held chastity and purity to be the most important virtues a being could possess. We saw the beings here in this realm and in Planus realm to be base, lost to their animal instincts and urges. Primitive."

He let out a hollow chuckle. "I was a prick, Andy. I"m pretty sure I deserved to die. I levied so much judgement against others while believing myself to be a paragon of virtue. Meanwhile, I"m pretty sure most of my brethren were only giving lip service to the supposed virtues they espoused."

I arched a brow at him, and he rippled—a shrug, I realized belatedly. "I know for a fact that they engaged in carnal acts. I saw a few of them doing just that after I died and could travel as a spirit, unseen."

I laughed. "Peeking poltergeist perv."

For just a moment, I got a glimpse of his handsome face, and it was twisted with wry humor. "Pious peeking poltergeist perv," he corrected primly, leaning into the alliteration.

I laughed, flopping onto my back, and stared at the ceiling. "I"m not mad at you, Elijah. You don"t have to hide and sulk. I know you all have your wounds and your secrets. And you guys have all the reason in the world to be angry and hateful. But I can"t help it that I"m a Lovell. All I can do is try to fix things—even if it"s too little too late. Especially in your case."

He misted out of existence, only to reappear above me, hovering so he could look at my face with those glowing blue eyes. "Your ancestor used my pride and my backward beliefs to lure me in."

I reached up without thinking, trailing my fingers through his misty form as if I could touch his face. My fingers swirled through him, and he shimmered at the almost-touch.

"I thought she was repentant. I thought I could save her soul. I thought…well, I thought myself in love. In lust. And I hated myself for it. When she realized she couldn"t control my powers, she killed me. It shouldn"t have been possible for a witch to murder an angel. But my guard was down. My sense of my own perfection so overinflated…I never saw it coming. She bound me the moment my body disintegrated."

I let out a long breath. "Goddess. Great Granny and the rest of my female ancestors must have been real lookers, because they seemed to have charmed quite a few of you into stupidity." I bit out a short laugh. "Good thing I"m fat, weird, and abrasive. No risk of me luring anyone into anything."

He solidified a little more, his outline becoming more opaque, his features showing through. He ran a hand along my skin again, and I could just barely feel his cold touch. "You are nothing like the rest of your family, Oleander. Your heart is good, even if it is a bit wounded by all you"ve been through." The ghostly touch drifted to my lips, making my skin tingle. "But you"re wrong about that last part. You do lure people in. I wish I was a solid, flesh and bone creature again, so I could touch you."

I shivered in response to the yearning in his voice. Had he really never done anything carnal when he had a body? Sad to realize only once the opportunity to enjoy life was gone, how badly you had missed out. The physical body was built for pleasure. There was nothing more natural than sex and sensuality, in whatever form. Our physical bodies were an expression of the earth, of the raw life force that pulsed through us. Any witch understood that. Even those who were asexual could appreciate other physical pleasures in their own way. But it sounded like Elijah"s people didn"t even allow that much.

Poor angels.

"I wish I could touch you too," I whispered. "Elijah, I"m so sorry. For everything you"ve lost." His life, his entire belief system, the potential to fully experience the world around him…it must be hell, being stuck in this in between, able to see and hear, but never fully interact with the world.

He drifted lower. "Who were you thinking of, in the bath?"

I huffed an embarrassed laugh. "You are a peeping perv!"

A misty chuckle floated on the air. "You did allow me to participate in your interlude with the fae," he reminded me. "I assumed the invitation still stood. Though I did think you were angry with me for keeping secrets. So I stayed out here."

I groaned. My life was so weird.

"Who did you think of while you pleasured yourself, Andy?" he whispered, cool tendrils of sensation stroking along my aura, making me shudder.

I was absolutely not going to admit it had been Aahil. "Doesn"t matter," I said instead. "Take your pick. The world is filled with beautiful people."

"Take off the towel." The words were barely a whisper, drifting disembodied in the air. "Take it off and sit up, so you can see yourself in the mirror."

I probably should have just said no, like a sane person.

But I"m not sane. I"m a fucking Lovell.

I sat up, losing the towel and positioning myself so I could see my reflection in the floor length mirror that sat opposite the end of the bed. I studied my reflection curiously, wondering what he was up to. I didn"t hate my body. I knew that we were lucky to have this form, that our bodies were an expression of the goddess, the earth, the spirit that gave us life. But I also knew I didn"t fit most of the beauty standards of the human society I usually lived in. I was plump. I had stretch marks and my breasts didn"t defy gravity. My damp, shoulder-length hair hung in dark green waves and coils framing my round face. I had nice eyes, I thought. Somewhere between gray and blue. And my skin was clear and healthy, at least.

I glanced at Elijah as he drifted up behind me, tendrils of his misty, incorporeal form wrapping around me. "Do you recall when I merged with your aura before?" he asked.

I nodded. He had somehow fused himself to my aura when the jinn tried to burn me alive, using his cool, ghostly being to shield me from harm. I had felt him like a second skin. I wondered now, though…. "Could you feel me?" I asked softly. "When we were merged like that? You could feel, couldn"t you?"

He sighed, the misty sound rippling over the skin of my shoulder, making me shiver. "I was attached to your aura. I could feel what you felt. And I could, I think, send some of my own feelings through the link—helping you to feel cooler, more comfortable, to not feel the pain as much."

I licked my lips. "And if we did that now?"

His misty form curled around me, covering my skin from head to toe. He did it more slowly this time, since it wasn"t an emergency, letting me feel what he was doing and see how our energies merged. It wasn"t possession. He couldn"t control me. He wasn"t actually in my body. He was just riding along in my aura, our energy fields merged.

I drew in a deep breath, adjusting to the sensation, feeling like I was a different person—or at least like my awareness had shifted. For the second time today, I glided my own hands over my body, caressing and squeezing. But this time I watched myself in the mirror with new eyes. I couldn"t communicate with Elijah like this—not in any real tangible sense. But my perception shifted, and I knew it was because of what he was thinking and feeling.

I glanced in the mirror and saw a goddess, all beautiful curves and valleys, soft lusciousness to be explored and experienced to the fullest. I saw a woman who was the very definition of sensual, begging to be touched. I leaned back on one hand, letting the ghost enjoy the view as I slipped my fingers into my pussy, feeling my body clench around the delicious intrusion, stroking and fluttering. I moved to stroke my clit, head thrown back and chest heaving. Shit, I was so turned on. Yet again, this wouldn"t take long at all.

I drew it out a much as I could, riding the edge of my orgasm, letting Elijah drink his feel of sensation and pleasure. But eventually, I couldn"t take it any longer. I lay back, stroking my clit with one hand while two of the fingers of my other hand thrust inside, alleviating the empty feeling that was begging to be filled.

I gasped as I came, feeling a distant echo of my pleasure somewhere in my awareness.

Eventually, I crawled up the bed and dove under the covers, my limbs heavy and my eyelids fluttering shut. I felt Elijah flow out of my aura, leaving me feeling oddly empty. "Thank you, Oleander," he whispered, his voice sounding stronger, more…real.

I opened my eyes to find him lying beside me, his form wavering between poltergeist and mist, blue eyes glowing, and faint golden streamers of energy arcing out from his back.

"Your wings are pretty," I mumbled intelligently.

He came closer, his handsome face as solid as I"d ever seen it. Cool mist touched my lips in the imitation of a chaste kiss. "I can"t stay this solid much longer," he said sadly. "I"m sorry."

I shook my head. "Doesn"t matter. I know you"re here, even if I can"t see you."

"Always," his disembodied voice whispered as he disappeared. "Sleep, Andy. You have important work to do when you rise."

I yawned. "Don"t remind me."

My invisible lover chuckled, the sound echoing around the empty room. "Sleep."

So I did.