Chapter 3: Austin

This was a completely unholy hour to be getting up. Hell, it was still dark outside. I think you had to be a special kind of person to want to get up at this hour every day. Mr. Smith told me the ranch hand was getting me at six, so I had set the alarm for four thirty. I reasoned it would give me enough time to shower, get dressed, and have some breakfast. But I snoozed the alarm a couple of times, rookie error. I had then, of course, overslept. I had the quickest shower ever, shoveled oatmeal down in record time, and was ready with about two minutes to spare.

So here I was, staring at the front door, waiting for the knock. Waiting to meet the man who was hopefully going to help me become the ranch man that my Gran and Pops thought I could be. Pulling out my phone, I unlock the screen, and watch as the time ticks to six o’clock. Sure enough, there is a knock on the door, but it sounds like it came from behind me. From the kitchen.

Going back to the kitchen, I’m just walking in when I see the door open, and a man walks in. His head is bent down, and the cowboy hat he’s wearing is covering his face, but not the rest of him. Fuck. His torso is filling out the shirt that he’s wearing, and his jeans seem to hug his legs perfectly. So this is going to be sweet torture, working with this sexy, and no doubt straight, ranch hand.

“Hi,” I say, going over to him, arm outstretched. Then he looks up, and I stop dead in my tracks. My arm falling back to my side. There in front of me is a face that I thought I would never see again. He looks the same, except a little older. His eyes are still the deep brown, Colt Jackson and his name falls from my lips unaided “Colt.”

“Austin.” Oh, his voice has taken on a deeper edge, but it’s the same.

“I didn’t…” but the words dried up in my mouth. What the hell do I say to him?

“You ready? We have a long day ahead of us, and we are already behind,” Colt says, but he isn’t really looking at me.

“Behind?”

“Yeah. Ideally, we should be up at four.”

“But, Mr. Smith…” trying to defend myself. This isn’t how I wanted things to start.

“Mr. Smith is a lawyer, not a ranch hand. So come on,” Colt replies, turning to leave the kitchen.

I grab my new coat that I was reassured would be needed, even though at the moment, it feels incredibly too warm, being denim and fleece lined. But the moment I get outside, the cold hits me, and I’m scrambling to put it on.

“Here, you’re going to need these,” Colt shouts over to me as he throws something brown in my direction. Catching them, I see that they’re some brown suede, heavy duty gloves.

“Thanks.”

“Right, first thing first, we need to sort the livestock. I’ve already done that today. So now we’re going to check the chickens. Take stock of any eggs laid overnight. Then there are the horses.”

“Livestock? Chickens?” I don’t remember them from when I was fifteen.

“The ranch has changed since you were last here. More animals now, so we really need to get moving.”

Colt looks and sounds the same, but he is so different from the boy I left in the barn. This man is harsh. There is no kindness in his voice. He is just all work. Was he like this with my grandparents?

“Austin, come on!” Colt shouts over to me.

“Sorry.”

Fuck, I’m tired. Muscles I never knew I had are aching, and it's only lunchtime. The ranch has changed so much. There is so much more to do. I knew that this wasn’t going to be easy, but I have no idea how the hell I’m going to cope.

“Austin,” Colt’s voice sounds.

Colt seems to be getting more and more annoyed with me. I’m trying my best, but it’s been so long since I’ve had to do anything physical, and I’m slow. I just wish that he had some patience with me.

“Colt, will we be stopping for lunch soon, or am I able to have a break for five?” I hate asking, but I know my limits, and I also know that I’m getting to them.

“Yeah, we can stop.”

“Great.”

“I have a few bits and pieces that I need to do. Come back in an hour.”

“Oh, we aren’t having lunch together?” I always remembered us having lunch together. Sitting in Gran's kitchen.

“No.”

I keep watching as Colt makes his way over to the barn. I knew that the ranch had changed. Gran and Pops had spoken about it, but looking around now, I realize they never explained how much. The barn, for one, was bigger, then there was the chicken coop and cattle shed. The biggest surprise was when Colt explained that a few years ago, they purchased some more land, right on the edge of the ranch, a bit closer to town. He explained that Gran and Pop hadn’t told him what the land was for, but that he thinks they were going to build a small home there. Something that was smaller than the ranch house, to retire in.

Turning, I make my way over to the house, going in the kitchen door, I feel a blast of heat hit me. The kitchen was always the warmest room in the house. Both physically and mentally. Gran always made sure this room was full of love. So much so that you could almost feel it. But without Gran, all you were left with was the heat.

Taking off my boots, I leave them by the back door and make my way to the center of the room. I suddenly feel lost. Gran always had food ready for us, and there is a small part of me that expected to walk in and find her in here. Standing at the window watching us work. But she isn’t, and she hasn’t been for a long time.

Right, I need to get some food in me, and a drink, and I need to make sure I watch the time. I can’t be late getting back to Colt. I don’t need to give him any more reasons to be annoyed with me. Sandwich and chips. A quick and easy lunch that will fill me up and keep me going, hopefully, till we finish.

When I get back to Colt, he’s on his cell. I try not to eavesdrop on his conversation, but I really can’t help it.

“So, do you think you can be Santa for us?” Colt says down the line. “It will only be for a few hours. Please.”

Santa. Why the hell does Colt need a Santa?

“You will. Great.” Colt pauses, and the smile that spreads across his face, I feel it in my knees. His whole face lights up. Fuck, it’s beautiful. “This doesn’t mean that you forfeit a donation.” And whatever the other person says, causes Colt to start laughing. Shit, I am done. That man, there, is my Colt. My fun, loving Colt. The boy I had my first kiss with. But when he looks up and sees me standing there, the smile drops from his face. And, for a second, I thought I saw hurt flash through his eyes.

“So, I will be over in a week or so for the donation. Thanks, again.”

“Donations?” I ask, wondering if he’s going to explain what is going on.

“So, are you still able to ride?” Colt asks, ignoring my question completely, and my heart sinks. The friendly edge in his voice, from a few minutes ago, is gone. He’s just all business again.

“It’s been a while,” I confirm.

“Well, Gran and Pops have different horses from when you were here last, so…”

“You called them Gran and Pops?” I didn’t mean to say the question out loud, but I had noticed him calling them that a few times.

“Yeah,” is the only response I get. “We need to get moving. There’s a fence down in one of the top paddocks that needs to be repaired.”

Colt walks over to the stable and opens the door. The second I walk inside, the memory of the last time I was in here hits me like a freight train. Just like now, it was with Colt. I remember the feel of his lips against mine. The hardness of his chest as it was pressed against me. That kiss had been everything.

“Austin. Come on,” Colt commands.

“Sorry, it’s just…” I start, but decide that it’s best not to mention what I was thinking about.

“We have three horses here at the moment,” Colt starts. “Over there,” and he points to a beautiful chestnut brown horse, “is Rodney, and in the stall next to him, is Trigger.”

The stall looked empty, but on hearing their names, a horse pops its head out. I can see that Trigger is a stunning light brown, with a dot of white on his forehead.

“And this beauty,” Colt continues, as he goes over to a stall, “is Brody.” His voice takes on a softer edge as the horse appears. I’m transfixed as I watch Colt go over to the horse, run a hand down its snout. From what I can see, Brody is a gorgeous white horse with what might be flecks of gray, hard to tell without seeing all of him.

“You will probably be best to saddle up on Rodney. He will probably be the gentlest. Saddles are over there. Where’s your hat?”

“My hat?”

“Yeah, your hat. Please tell me you have one?” Colt demands.

Shit. I never even thought about a hat when I had been picking up my clothes yesterday. Great. I’m sure this is something else that Colt is going to be pissed at me about, and I am also going to have to now find time to get back into town and get one.

“Here, take this,” Colt says, handing me a hat. “It was your Pops’, it’s too small for me, but I think it will fit you fine. I’m sure he would want you to have it.”

“Thanks.” Taking the hat out of his hand, I can remember my Pops wearing it. He always had it when he came to visit. Never understood why. But I loved this hat, it was a light tan colored Stetson with a small dark leather band around it. I almost want to smell it, see if it still has my Pops scent on it, but I don’t. Placing it on my head, it fits perfectly, and somehow, it’s like I can feel Pops there. Encouraging me.

It took me a few attempts, but I eventually managed to get Rodney all saddled up. Colt still came over to check that everything is in the right place, and secure. I wanted to ask him what his problem was. What had I done, today, to piss him off so much? I had listened to everything he said. Paid attention. Did as he instructed me. There was nothing else I could do.

“Ready?” Colt asks, as he grabs hold of the saddle on Brody, and effortlessly jumps so that he is seated on the horse.

Fuck. I know I shouldn’t find that hot. But watching all his muscles as he pulls himself up is just hot. At some point, he put his hat on too, and its dark brown suede with a slightly darker band. He looks like he’s walking straight out of a Clint Eastwood movie.

Taking a deep breath, trying to calm my beating heart, I grab hold of the saddle, and amazingly, manage to get up on the first try. I spot the surprise on Colt’s face, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Follow me. Some of the trails have changed, and I really don’t have time to find you if you get lost.”

“I think I would be able to find my way back, Colt,” I snapped at him.

I hoped me snapping at him might get some reaction out of him, but there’s nothing. He just stares at me for a second before making a clicking noise with his tongue to get Brody moving. Making the same noise, I get Rodney moving and follow Colt. The land around the ranch hadn’t changed much. It’s like time had stood still. Looking across the mountains, I could be fifteen again. Out riding the trails with my best friend who I have been shamelessly crushing on. But I’m not fifteen, and the man on the horse in front of me, isn’t my best friend anymore.

No, this man feels like a stranger, and I hate it.