Chapter Twenty-Two

It was the day of the horse racing and Lavender felt…off. She couldn't put her finger on it. From the moment she woke up, there was an unsettling feeling simmering in the pit of her stomach telling her that something was wrong.

She tried to ignore it, wrote it off as anxiousness. After all, she was likely to see many influential members of the ton at this event. She might even see Lady Lively herself, since she was known to frequent the horse races now and again. After their last encounter, Lavender wanted to ensure that everything was absolutely perfect this time.

Despite that, she could not shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen.

Thankfully, she was able to ignore the feeling as best as she could until the time came for her to get ready. She chose her dress perfectly, matching it with her bonnet and gloves. Her hair was simply done in a small chignon with a few loose curls framing her face. She opted to carry her reticule even though she had no intentions of spending any money, needing to put her fan in something.

And then she waited. And waited. Austin was supposed to come for her, since it would be ideal for them to arrive in a carriage bearing his crest. And yet he seemed like he was late yet again.

As the minutes wore on, Lavender's impatience grew into frustration. She should have known better than to have trusted him to do this. But she thought that they had crossed over into more familiar territory after she'd spent the night at his townhouse. She thought that, after she'd told him how important this all was to her, that he would have made an effort. Surely he wasn't doing this because of the way they'd parted ways yesterday?

She stood, shaking with frustration. She would just go to him then. There was no way she would allow him to embarrass her once more .

Lavender marched out of the drawing room. As soon as she stepped into the foyer, she halted in surprise. "Colin? What are you doing here?" Lavender eyes widened as she took him in. "And what in heaven's name happened to your face?"

He was quite the sight. His alabaster skin now sported blackening bruises across his nose, his jaw and one entire eye. As he came forward, Lavender saw that his upper lip had been split open as well.

"Were you in a fight?" she gasped. "Who did this to you?"

Despite the sorry state he was in, Colin still managed a smile. "My, Lavender, it has been quite a while since you've worried for me like this."

"Enough of the jests, Colin." Unable to help herself, she reached out and brushed her fingers across the bruise spreading across the cheek. He flinched. "This is horrible. Has a physician looked at you yet?"

"Yes, and I believe that the worse has passed. It is quite painful, though. Despite that, I thought that I could not leave you all by yourself on this day."

Lavender frowned. "I am not alone. Austin will be coming to fetch me for the races."

"I think he is a little…preoccupied."

"What do you mean?"

Colin's expression softened. He opened his mouth to speak but then his eyes fluttered and he swayed on his feet for a moment. Lavender panicked, wrapping her arms around him even though she doubted she would be able to break his fall if he were to fall unconscious on the spot. They would simple topple to the floor together.

Even so, he immediately leaned against her, murmuring, "Forgive me, I…I just need to sit down for a moment."

"Of course. Do you think you can make it to the drawing room?"

"If you help me."

Lavender didn't hesitate to slide her arm around his waist. Colin instantly rested nearly his entire body weight on her and she had to adjust herself to keep from tipping over. Slowly, with his head on her shoulder and her arm trying desperately to hold him upright, Lavender helped him to the drawing room.

He collapsed into the nearest armchair and rested his head on the back of the chair. "Forgive me, Lavender. This was not my intention."

"Getting beaten to a pulp?" she tried to jest.

His eyes shot open and she caught a flash of irritation. "I was not beaten to a pulp. My opponent fared far worse, I assure you."

Lavender didn't bother to point out that she was only trying to lift his spirits by joking. She sat on the chaise lounge across from him with a frown. "What happened, Colin?"

"It…it isn't anything serious. Just know that I am fine and quite capable of escorting you to the races."

"But I do not need an escort. I will be attending with Austin, if you recall. I was supposed to meet Alice and you there."

"I do not think your betrothed will be able to come," he said, his tone a tad bitter. "After all, it is way past the time for you to leave and yet he is nowhere to be found."

Lavender hated how right he was about that. Still, she felt the need to defend him. "There must be something keeping him. I shall wait here a while longer for him to show. You're welcome to rest here for a bit more and then head there yourself."

Colin sat up, fixing her with a stern glare. "Lavender, you are far too smart to make excuses for him like that. You know as well as I that he has no intention of showing."

"I know no such thing."

"Then I suppose you are not aware of the fact that he has gone back to his previous lifestyle of drinking and gambling the night away. Last I heard, Lav, he had quite a rough night trying to win back the money he has lost."

Lavender blinked. That didn't sound right. Even though Colin was the one saying it, even though she had no reason to doubt anything her friend said to her, Lavender simply could not believe that the reason why Austin was not here was because he was too inebriated from his night of drinking and gambling. She felt her heart cracking at the mere thought of it.

But the longer those words sat between them, the more believable they became. After all, Austin had made it no secret that he enjoyed less honorable pastimes. What if much of his mismanagement of funds stemmed from his love of gambling in the first place? He'd never said as much to her before but…Colin wouldn't lie to her, would he?

Colin moved, slipping out of his chair and next to her with such grace that she almost forgot that he had been dizzy just moments before. He took her hand without warning, capturing it in both of his own.

"I warned you about him, didn't I?" he said softly. "I told you that he was not the kind of man you want to be attached to. My only wish is for you to see the truth of who he is before it is too late."

Lavender frowned slightly, searching Colin's eyes. Perhaps it was because of her own growing feelings for Austin but she noticed something that she'd never seen previously before. Something shone back at her, something she should have realised a long time ago.

All of a sudden, Vincent's words came rushing back to her.

Lavender's heart slowed as she asked, as calmly as she could, "Did you ask Vincent for my hand in marriage, Colin?"

Colin blinked in surprise. And then his gaze soften, a smile tugging at his lips. Lavender could not return it. It felt as if a bucket of cold water had just been dumped all over her.

"I thought I was being romantic by asking him first," he said, brushing his thumb over the back of her hand. She would have pulled her hand free had she not been frozen in shock. "When you revealed that you were betrothed to the Earl of Derby, I knew I had to act. I realised that I might have waited a little too long to reveal my feelings and I did not want lose my chance."

"Colin…"

He shifted closer, until their arms brushed. "Lavender, I am helplessly in love with you. I have been for as long as I can remember and I had hoped that you would recognise my feelings. Now I know that I must say it boldly and loudly for you to know. I love you, Lavender. And it is my wish for us to spend the rest of our days married and happy with each other."

"Colin…" Lavender didn't allow herself to look away from him as she forced out her next to word. "No. "

Colin jerked in shock. "No?" he echoed. "What do you mean, no?"

"Exactly that, Colin." She pulled her hand free. He looked down at them as if it were an act of betrayal. "I love you dearly but only as a friend. I feel no romantic feelings towards you nor do I believe that I will."

"Do you love the earl then?"

She didn't want to answer that. She didn't think now was the time to explore such a thing. She only shook her head and said, "You should go on to the races. Or perhaps, if you are still feeling dizzy, you should go home and get some rest."

"No." Colin got to his feet, running his hand over his face. Lavender watched as he paced back and forth now and again before turning back to face her. "I accept what you have said. For now. I will still choose to believe, however, that you will come to fall for me in time."

"Colin…"

"And the truth of the matter is that your betrothed is late. If you wait here any longer for him, so will you be. I shall escort you to the races." After a beat, he added, "I hear that Lady Lively will be in attendance this afternoon as well."

Lavender thinned her lips. The truth was that she did not want to be late. She'd planned this out too meticulously to be comfortable with everything not completely going her way. It bothered her that Austin did not respect her enough to follow through with his promises.

A horrible thought whispered through her mind. Perhaps he would rather spend time with a beautiful, demure lady who would not pressure him to attend such things? Was he already pulling away from her to make his way to the marquess' daughter?

Jealousy seized her so soundly that Lavender was at a loss for words for a moment. Her mind was beginning to spiral. She'd never deemed herself an insecure lady and yet here she was comparing herself to a lady she hardly knew!

"Come." Colin was upon her again, taking her hand. This time, he pulled her to a stand. "Let us go and enjoy ourselves. We can forget about everything that was just said. "

That's easier said than done , she wanted to say. But she didn't say anything, not pulling away as he led her to the door, even though she wanted to.

She supposed it would not be too bad to go with Colin. Austin clearly did not plan on showing up. Lavender refused to sit here and wait around for him, even though the thought of being abandoned by him tore an irreparable hole in her chest. It was a hole she would ignore for now. A hole that would not stop her from carrying out her plan.

Lavender nodded quietly to herself, resigning to attending the races with Colin.

But before they could take another step, the door opened.

Austin came limping in on a cane.