Chapter Twenty-One

It didn't take him long to realize that he couldn't stay in the house stewing in his frustration any longer. Austin tried drinking something stronger than tea and it didn't work. He paced around the house, barking nonsensical orders at his servants but that only worsened his mood, thinking about how disapproving Lavender would be if she saw him doing such a thing. By midday, he couldn't handle it any longer and set course for the only place he could go to work off this anxious energy.

Had it been under the cover of nighttime, he would have gone straight to the docks. But since it was still during the light of day, Austin went to an old home in west London instead.

The house had once belonged to a baron who had lost his fortune to gambling. Austin didn't know what had happened to the baron. All he knew was that the debts he'd incurred had made him quite a few enemies. A few of those enemies had chased him out of London. Others had taken his home and turned it into a den of sorts.

All sorts of shady characters came and went from this place. Austin had discovered it after he'd left university and had fallen in with a rough crowd out of rebellion to his father and stepmother. Since accepting the title, he thought that he would leave this life behind. But he supposed he was used to falling back into old habits once emotions ran high.

And his emotions were out of control.

He didn't understand Lavender at all. He thought she would be pleased that he had invited Lady Lively into his home when she'd come to call on him. Albeit, he didn't think that the conversation would turn to that but how was that his fault? Why would she think he deserved any of her anger?

Austin couldn't understand it. And because he couldn't understand it, he wanted to forget about it. And since he could not get Lavender and that look in her eyes before she'd left out of his head no matter how hard he tried, Austin sought distraction instead .

None of the men lingering in the yard of the den stopped him as he sauntered by. He had a bit of a name to these men. Ruthless, determined. Austin had always lived as if his life was dispensable and it had earned him a reputation that wasn't easily shaken.

He entered and ignored the other men lounging about. These were men who had nothing better to do with their time than to plot and fight. Men from poor families, men from wealthy backgrounds looking for a tougher life. Walks of life that he shouldn't be caught dead with. If Lavender knew he was here…

Austin shook his head, trying to banish her from his mind. It was easier said than done.

He made his way to the dining room. It looked the exact same as he'd last seen it. Most of the furniture had been cleared from the room and the art pieces had been sold a long time ago. In the center of the room, two men tussled with each other, while other men shouted around them. Austin ignored them, making his way to the left of the room.

"Well, would you look at this?" The lanky man lounged in a chair with his arm slung over the back of it. He was the only one with a chair. Everyone else leaned against the wall or sat on the floor. "I didn't think I would live to see you walk back in here."

"Never far from my mind," Austin murmured, though it wasn't quite true. He hadn't thought about fighting since…well since he met Lavender.

"I suppose you cannot really take the fighter out of the man, even if you slap a title on his name." The lanky man stood. He went by the name Sprout and had a reputation that earned him fear from nearly anyone who'd heard of him. One would never think that he was actually the third son of the Duke of Harrington.

Sprout had told Austin that in confidence and Austin never cared to tell anyone about his secret. Now that he looked at him though, he found it a bit amusing that discarded or ignored men of the ton usually ended up in the same place. He wondered how many others here were from titled families.

"I want a fight," Austin stated.

"And a fight you will have." Sprout shot from his chair. "Oi! Clear out! "

The two men who had been unsuccessfully trying to get the upper hand on each other followed the command quickly. They scrambled to their feet and hurried away from the middle of the room.

Austin went to take their place. In the corner of his eye, he saw Sprout shove someone else into the middle. The man who would now be his opponent had scars all over his arms and was already sporting a fading bruise under his eye.

It reminded Austin of the look of horror on Lavender's face when he'd shown up to the tea party with his face bruised. Would she be upset if he did that again?

The answer came quickly even as the man threw the first punch. She would be upset. Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to risk that again.

Austin dodged the punch and threw one into the man's midsection. The feel of his knuckles colliding with flesh took the edge off. Austin would just have to make sure that he didn't get punched in his face. Easy.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, the man recovered far quicker than Austin expected and rammed his elbow into Austin's chin. Austin's head snapped back, stars filling his vision. But he was aware enough to dodge the kick aimed for his side. He caught another one, slamming his elbow on the man's knee and shoving him back onto the floor.

His opponent was large and absorbed hits as if they were nothing. Nothing kept him down for long. Every blow Austin dealt felt as if he was hitting an unmoving wall that was all too eager to hit him back. Before long his attempt to keep his face bruise-free had failed. His entire body would be covered in bruises, his nose bleeding, and hopefully not broken.

Austin kept coming back up, though. Even though he was taking a beating, he was giving one as well. And that was exactly what he needed, something to punch over and over again until his frustrations surrounding Lavender was gone. Every time he took a blow though, he saw her face. He saw her horror. Her worry.

Perhaps this was not a good idea.

The realization came a little too late, he realized, as he blocked a blow with his forearm and felt the force of it rock through his body. He had to end this quickly before it got any further.

Austin took another blow to the chin to keep his opponent close. Then he caught his arm, swinging him around until he forced the man to his knees. Without giving him the chance to pull free, he rammed his fist into his jaw hard enough to knock him out cold.

Applause ran through the room but Austin ignored it. He didn't bother to say goodbye to Sprout or anyone else. He simply stalked out of the room, feeling worse now than he had been before. Outside, he spat blood into the grass and climbed into his carriage, a little grateful he hadn't sent his coachman away like he usually did.

His entire body ached. How could he have thought that would make him feel better? Now Lavender would only look at him like a monster when they went to the horse racing.

He shouldn't care. He was only doing this to fulfill his side of the contract, after all. It mattered not what she thought of him.

Austin didn't like how much it felt as if he was lying to himself.

As soon as he returned to the townhouse, he ordered his butler to fetch him his decanter and glass and bring it to his bedchamber. If fighting didn't help then he would simply drink the rest of the day away.

"This came for you when you were away, my lord," his butler told him, handing him a letter.

Austin was about to send him away, telling him he was in no mood to receive any correspondence, but then he noticed Lavender's hasty handwriting.

Austin quickly unfolded the letter. His mood soured with every word he read. After all that happened, Lavender had decided to invite Colin Asher to attend the horse races with them? Hadn't she added that to their events because of him? Why would she want to bring another gentleman in the middle of that?

There was no hope for his mood to improve today. That letter had only made things worse. Austin tossed it aside and turned to make his way out the door, heading to White's instead. Maybe that would be enough to fix this.

** *

The moment Austin walked into White's, he spotted Colin Asher occupying one of the tables at the far back of the gentleman's club. And as soon as he saw Colin, Austin's frustration with the situation he found himself in culminated in a ripe, tasty need for revenge.

He stalked forward, hands curled into fists at his side. Men watched him go by and whispers followed in his wake. The look in his eye had everyone parting ways, not daring to stay in his path. He must have looked rather formidable but when he arrived at Colin's table, the other man merely looked up at him with nothing but disdain.

"Get up," Austin ordered. "We need to talk."

Colin snorted derisively. "You do not order me about, lord," he hissed. "And seeing the state you're in, I would think that you had much better things to do than to frequent my watering hole."

Austin gave him an ugly smile. Colin's response was exactly how he wanted it to be. Tense and hostile enough for whatever was about to come to feel necessary.

He caught the lapels of the man sitting across from Colin and hauled him out of the armchair. The man did not so much as protest. Austin claimed the chair, fixing Colin with a glare.

"I thought you men had more respect than this," he growled. "To think a mere bastard understood the gentlemanly rules of society far better than you do."

Colin tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes. "I'm afraid I do not know what you are talking about."

"I'm certain that you do," Austin countered. "Lavender."

Colin reached for his drink in an idle manner that increased Austin's annoyance. As if he had no reason to be afraid of the bruised man before him itching for another fight. "Yes, Lavender. My closest and oldest friend. She has always been too nice for her own good. I figure that must be the reason why she's taken pity on a man like yourself and has accepted your sad proposal."

"And because of that, you think it proper to ask for her hand in marriage when you know she is meant for another. "

Murmurs rushed through the club as the onlookers reeled in surprise. Colin hardly flinched. "It was about time I made my move. I was waiting for the right time, but you took that from me."

"Back down, Asher."

"Or what?" Colin leaned forward, his stare icy. "Do not think I am unaware of the fact that you are only marrying Lavender for her wealth, Derby. Forgive me if I do not think she should be a pawn to save you from the mismanagement of your own."

"You haven't a clue what Lavender and I have," Austin stated. He ignored the voice in the back of his head that said he didn't know what they had either. "And it shouldn't matter to you. If I find out you are still sniffing around her like the hound you are, then I will ensure that you regret it."

"You do not frighten me. You may hold a title but at the end of it, you are still the son of a maid and nothing more." He sneered, his handsome features twisting into something grotesque. "I may not have a title but I am of finer breeding stock than you could ever be. I am good for Lavender while you…you are nothing but a leech looking for something to suck on. I won't allow it."

Austin barked a harsh, unamused laugh. "Choice words coming from the man who is yet to say any of this to Lavender herself. What would happen if you did, Asher? Are you afraid that she will do exactly what we all expect her to do, which is to reject you soundly and send you on your way?"

Austin struck a nerve with that one. He saw the shutters of anger that came down over Colin's face. "Everyone knows that I am the best match for her. I know it. Our peers know it. Indeed, even her brother knows. Lavender is smart enough to realise it herself as well."

"I wish you all the luck with that one." Austin stared him down for a few seconds, wanting to do more. He would have lunged across the table and pummeled his head into the wall just for the mere fact that he'd dared to insult him. Austin didn't quite know when he had changed but all he could hear was Lavender's disapproving voice in his head.

That was the only reason he stood, deciding to walk away from this. She would not like it if he were to attack her friend, warranted or not. He didn't need to give her another reason to be upset.

Just as he turned away, Colin said, "That's right, Derby. Walk away like you should have from the very beginning. Once Lavender and I are wed, perhaps you could forget about how horribly you've embarrassed yourself."

Austin paused. Colin was dangling bait in front of Austin's face—whether he knew it or not—and Austin was tempted to grab ahold of it. Instead, he said, "You're a sad man if you think that will happen."

"Lavender has always been in love with me, Derby. She just hasn't realised it yet."

The memory of Lavender and Colin standing in that hallway at the Lawrence residence staring at each other flashed through Austin's mind. At the time, it had felt uncomfortably like he had walked in on something private. It had bothered him then and bothered him even more now.

Peace be damned, he thought as he turned and stalked back to the table. The satisfaction that had shone in Colin's eyes turned to panic when Austin seized by the collar and drew him to his feet.

"Fight me," he growled. "Prove your love once and for all."

Colin paled. He glanced around him, noting the watching eyes of everyone nearby. Austin knew he wouldn't back down. It was socially disgraceful to do so when challenged to a duel and Austin, for the first time, was happy to live up to society's expectations.

"Very well." Colin shoved Austin back and Austin allowed him. The gentlemen nearby began to clear the tables and chairs away, giving them the space they needed for their duel. Colin looked Austin up and down and smirked. "Although I think it would be unfair of me to fight you in such a state."

"If you think so, Asher," Austin said. He was tired of words now. He wanted action. He wanted this man to see that it wouldn't be so easy to take what was his.

Austin didn't usually like to take the first swing. He preferred to stay on the defensive until he got a good feel of his opponent. Then he attacked relentlessly until he knew they could go no further .

Fighting Colin Asher was no different. He had no experience, no skill. He knew how to throw a punch well enough but was sloppy enough that every single one of them missed. Austin danced around him, watching as he threw his entire body weight into every punch and kick he doled out, watching his frustration mount when he couldn't land a hit.

At last, Austin struck. Colin's head snapped back from the blow, blood trickling to his lips. He snarled and charged again but his anger only made him unsteady on his feet. With one quick sidestep, Austin swept Colin's legs from underneath him and he fell to the floor.

Gentlemen roared around them, urging them on. It was an easy fight, an easy win. Austin dodged a few more of Colin's desperate punches and doled out a few of his own. Colin's jaw, his ribs, his stomach. Hard enough for him to feel it the next morning.

But when he punched him again, hearing a crack, reality came crashing down on him.

Lavender was going to hate him for this. No matter how Austin felt about him, Colin was still her friend. And she would be very unhappy if this altercation brought on a scandal.

Austin saw his winning chance but hesitated. Colin stepped in as if he sensed it and rammed his fist into Austin's jaw with all his might. That moment of uncertainty was all it took, Austin realized.

At first, the world spun. Then splotches of darkness swam his vision. And the last thing he saw before he fell unconscious was Colin's victorious grin.