Chapter 14

Veronica

The charcuterie boards were as delicious as they seemed in the pictures. She showed off her fancy cheeses, cured meats, artisanal smoked sausages, small-batch farmer’s-market jams and honeys and infused balsamic vinegars, on a sampling of crackers, and I even managed to take in some of it even though most of what I was doing was just looking at her with that total captivated feeling in my chest.

I really needed to focus. Food was one of her passions and an expertise she had, and it would have been disrespectful of me to not give her my full attention and commit every word of what she was saying to memory forever. It was just hard when I was overwhelmed by the fact that it was her, Kelcey Huntington, talking to me again. And how her eyes shone brighter when she was fully focused on something like setting up the board.

Of course, it also didn’t help when she would get a dribble of honey on her finger and suck it off, closing her eyes with a small, satisfied sigh. I pointedly made sure I looked away, focusing on the food at hand, and I herded the racing thoughts in my head long enough to actually respond to what she was saying, pinching myself if it got me to stop thinking crude objectifying thoughts about her.

The apartment was so nostalgic, all its soft colors giving it a sweet, dreamy feel, and I did my best to stay cool as I sat on her couch with one leg slung up over the other, making sure I didn’t outwardly freak out about Kelcey sitting next to me with the charcuterie board on the table in front of us. I hung onto every word Kelcey said as she gushed on about all the changes in the office since my sister had taken over with Lucy, and then—onto talking about events with her family, picking up conversations she’d had with me as Nic as if we’d never stopped talking there.

We didn’t actually end up talking about those serious topics she wanted to get to until late, because once we finished the charcuterie board over the course of an hour and a half, she leaned back in the couch, looking out at where fat snowflakes drifted down in the warm light of sunset outside, and she said, “God, it’s already almost nighttime. I need to get Christmas shopping… I don’t know what to get my dad, so I’ve been putting it off.”

“Drake Lee just released another novel. I think the local shop has a special-edition cover.”

She shot me a funny look. “What? When did I even mention him reading those?”

“Ah.” I shouldn’t have said anything. I was getting outed as having stared at her pictures. I looked away. “It’s his bookshelf that was in the background of that picture you sent, right? I noticed he had a whole collection…”

“I thought you weren’t a big reader.”

I was not telling her I’d memorized every detail of every picture she was in before I deleted them. I’d die. Maybe because she’d kill me for being a creeper. “I just notice stuff sometimes…”

She leaned in closer, a smile breaking out over her features, and I turned away. Didn’t stop her from saying, “Oh my god, you’re blushing. Veronica. What’s your dark secret?”

“I torture people in evil rituals in the woods.”

“That sounds like way too much work. You’d never be caught dead doing that.”

“Okay, true, yeah.”

“Tell me,” she insisted, giving my shoulder a shake, and I laughed, trying to brush it off as casual even though my heart ached so badly I wanted to die at the way she moved in closer to me and put her hands on me as effortlessly as she always had. “Tell me or I’m entering my rage state!”

“Christmas tree’s all the way on the other side of the room. I’m safe here.”

“I’ll throw it at you,” she laughed. “ Tell me. Pretty pretty please?”

I rubbed my temple. “I just… stared a lot… at your pictures.”

“And noticed details down to what authors my dad keeps a lot of on his shelf, enough to where you know when there’s a new one released?”

I felt my face prickle. “Oh my god. Okay, fine, you asked for it. I… didn’t want to delete the photos I had of you… so—you know. I just… paid a lot of attention to what was in them before I did delete them.”

“You didn’t want to…” Her voice was a little breathless, dazed. “Why were you deleting them?”

“What—” I whirled on her, my face hot. “You told me to! I mean—rightfully so, I was a creep—when you found out who I was and called me—you told me to delete the photos I had of you,” I said, and I felt like I could die with awkward awareness of how shaky my voice was.

She stared at me for a long time, her brows knotted, before she said, “Oh, god, Veronica, that was just… heat of the moment. I’d forgotten I’d even said that. And I just meant the ones I’d sent you as Nic, and…” She clasped her hands in her waist. “Did you delete every photo you’ve had of me?”

“What? Oh, I, uh,” I said, trying my best to sound casual even though my voice came out sounding like I was about to break down crying. “That? Well, I just, uh… I mean, sure, yeah. I mean, you say jump, I say how high.”

Her expression softened until it made me feel like I was dying. “Veronica, you’re… crying.”

“Ah, yeah—” I wiped my eyes. Oh, I was fully crying. Oh, god, that was embarrassing. “I got rosemary in my eye. And in the other one too.”

“Oh, no. You didn’t have to do that. I just—I mean, I don’t mind you having—oh, god, you can’t cry, you’ll make me cry,” she said, fully already crying, and she fell onto me in a hug that took my breath away—her frame pressed up against me, so soft and sweet, precious and perfect, it made my chest ache so badly wanting her in ways I could never tell her, and I didn’t know what I was allowed to do right now, but… my hands found her back.

“Hey… it’s okay. I just wanted to respect your wishes…”

“Is there a way to restore them?”

“I-I don’t know…”

She cried on my shoulder—actually fully, openly cried, clutching fistfuls of my shirt and burying her face against me crying, and I was starting to get the idea this wasn’t about pictures at all. I squeezed her, holding her tight against me, and I told myself a million times I’m doing this to be supportive, I’m doing this to be supportive, and absolutely demanded my body not have any reactions to this. It partially worked. This was not the time to have my heart beat faster and my hands quiver at the nervous sensation of holding Kelcey Huntington this way.

“Sorry,” she said, her voice thick and shaky. “It’s just really sad… I hate the thought of losing keepsakes, memories…”

“It’s all right,” I said softly, stroking a hand down her back in that soft, gentle way I knew reassured her when she was emotionally overwhelmed. “I still have the memories themselves. And… and there’s…” I trailed off, wincing at how presumptuous I was with that thought, hoping Kelcey was too overwhelmed to really pick up on it, but she pulled back from the embrace to look at me.

“And there’s what?”

I looked away. “Nothing… forget about it.”

“No. Tell me or I’ll… make you.”

“That’s ominous.” I took a shaky breath. “Uh, well, I just thought… I could take a picture now—not necessarily of you, or anything, of course, because you’ve already told me clearly what your boundaries are and I could just take one of the board or something to commemorate this—”

“You should take a picture of us,” she said, and I lost my train of thought, driving off a cliff to a brilliant explosion somewhere far down below.

“I should… what?”

“Take a picture of us.” She wiped tears from her eyes, her mascara smudging, and she smiled through it. “You’re right. Just because things happened before doesn’t mean we can’t start again now.”

That felt… loaded. Was I just reading into things too much? Probably. I could forgive myself. “All right… do you suppose we should clean up our faces a little first?”

“Mm. Maybe. From all the rosemary in your eyes. No, actually, just take one like this. Better to capture the moment honestly, isn’t it?”

Well, this was going to be a flattering shot. But somehow I kinda like it better this way. Just… being a mess together with Kelcey Huntington.

God, I liked her a lot, though.

I held my phone out, the selfie camera on, and Kelcey leaned into my side to get in the shot, and my heart stuttered a little at the sight of us in the camera—me and Kelcey Huntington, side-by-side in her apartment. And it was me. My face looking back at me. I, Veronica Preston, despite everything, had gotten Kelcey Huntington doing this.

Damn. If I was discovering that even I was redeemable, I was going to need a minute with that one.

I snapped a picture, and Kelcey smiled sweetly through tear-dampened eyes, and she said, “There. Now they’re not all deleted.”

“They’re not. Yeah.” I looked at the picture. “I kinda pulled a weird face.”

“You look pretty.”

Oh, god, she said I was pretty. Or at least that I looked pretty. Maybe I looked that way because of a trick of the light. Who knows? I’d still take it. “Thanks,” I laughed, putting the phone away. “And thanks for… you know. Letting me do that.”

“Of course,” she said, puppy-dog eyes the whole way. “I didn’t mean for you to get rid of everything…”

“I’ll see if there’s a way to restore them. I’m sure there must be. People probably accidentally hit delete on photos all the time. Well…” I stood up, and I summoned all the courage everyone in the world had ever had, collectively, and I said, “Do you want to get in that Christmas shopping? A little bookstore trip could be nice.”

She smiled sweetly, and she didn’t even hesitate, rising with me and nodding. “Absolutely. And I need to buy something for myself, too. Or, like, ten things for myself.”

I couldn’t judge her. That sounded like a good idea.

We cleaned up our faces—from all the rosemary, of course—and we headed out the door to where I insisted on driving even though Kelcey absolutely had the nicer car, and it wasn’t too long before we were pushing out of drifting snowflakes and into the bookstore. It was true that I’d never been the biggest reader—that had been Anna between me and her—but seeing the way Kelcey’s face lit up walking into the cozy stacks of the shop, suddenly books were my favorite things in the world.

Of course, the Christmas decorations stacked everywhere were also part of the reason she lit up. And that was exactly why Christmas decorations were my favorites now too.

We went around the shop to get the perfect book picked out for her dad, and then one for her aunt too, and a cute one for her baby cousin, and then we got into the real stuff—shopping for her. It was as much about the shopping experience as it was about the new book for her, I knew, so I held onto the ones she’d picked out and followed along nodding and weighing in on everything just like she did, even though I wasn’t here for a book myself.

And of course, I only got a few knots in my chest when I came around a corner from where I’d stopped to look at the blurb on one book and found her looking at the back of a romance novel, one that listed proudly, second chance, and I tried not to think about what it meant if she was occupied thinking about second-chance romances…

“That one looks cute,” I said, and she jolted, looking back at where I was reading over her shoulder.

“Ah, creeping ghost monster. I banish you,” she said, whacking me lightly on the shoulder with the book.

“Not a silvered book. Doesn’t work.”

“Damn,” she laughed, clutching the book closer to her chest. “I might grab this one.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. Especially since I didn’t know if she knew I’d read the blurb and…

“Sounds good,” I said. “You’ll have to tell me all about how it is.”

She giggled, swatting playfully at my arm. “Ah, you’re just being polite.”

I was just being polite by only saying that, because actually I was going to grab a copy of the book online and read it too. Maybe in some vain hopes that I could talk to her about it, but… also just because I wanted to experience the same things as Kelcey.

But I wasn’t telling her that, so I just smiled and said, “I’ve never once been polite. Anything else for you?”

“Mm. That’s all for now.”

“Only one book for you?” I laughed. “Speaking of not recognizing one another…”

“I know! Truly strange times we live in.” She grinned, leading me to the register. “I’ve actually kind of cracked the code. If I just buy one book at a time, I get to come back to the shop more often. Huh? How about that? I’m pretty clever, huh?”

She was the cleverest, most charming person I’d ever known. “Ruthless strategist,” was what I settled for saying, and she flipped her hair back.

We stopped into her favorite place on the way back—Kelcey’s holy ground, Target, where I strolled along at her side with a feeling like my heart could explode just from being at her side like this, helping her pick out some cute new décor to add to her apartment, weighing which ones were the cutest and the most charming, and we walked out with a whole armload of things neither of us needed, but it put a light in Kelcey’s eyes, so in my opinion it was very sorely needed. And when we got back to her apartment and got in to huddle low from where the snow was picking up, I put on another pot of the spiced hot chocolate she liked, and my heart exploded when I set down two mugs on the table in front of the couch and she flung the fuzzy white blanket over both of us.

“I’m going to dig in and read a little,” she said, pulling her new book from the bag by the couch, as if I was taking in anything she was saying while she was cozying up next to my side under a blanket. “You can do what you like.”

“Can I read with you?”

She gave me a funny look. “Okay, be for real right now. Are you getting paid to promote this book or something? I’ve never known you to jump onto a book like this,” she laughed, and I looked away.

“Ha… how sincere do you want me to be?”

“Hm. What are the menu options? Is this like a zero to five chili peppers thing?”

I cleared my throat. “Sure, let’s say that. Sincerity burns sometimes. How many will it be?”

“Five, please.”

“Ugh, I was hoping you wouldn’t say that.” I picked at my fingernails. “The book is… something that you enjoy… and something that you’re experiencing… so I want to be a part of it too. To see the things you like. And I like anything that makes you happy. Okay? Great. Five chili peppers of sincerity.”

She stared at me for a long time—even while looking away, I could feel her eyes on me, and I knew she was making that soft expression with her lips parted, her brows knotted achingly softly together, and I thought I’d die on the spot waiting for her to say something before she said, “That is so sweet of you.”

“Yeah… I’ve heard I’m a little weird like this.”

“I like you like this,” she said with a small, nervous laugh, and I thought maybe—well, if she liked this, then I liked this. If she liked this, then this was my favorite thing in the world. Five chili peppers of sincerity. Six. Could I go higher? Maybe she’d have liked that. “Okay,” she said, and I looked back at where she was beaming at me. “We’ll read together. Should I just put it between us?”

“You want to read it out loud? I know you love dramatic readings.”

She laughed, nudging me. “Only if you voice one of the leads. I’ll pass it to you once it’s your turn.”

I snorted. “Ah, sure. Which one? I’ll bring my best dramatic delivery.”

“Up to you… grumpy girly or sunshine girly?”

Ah—I hadn’t realized this was a sapphic romance. Did it mean something if she was picking out a second-chance sapphic romance?

She was absolutely the sunshine girly. Which meant it was funnier this way. “I’ll be sunshine,” I said, and she laughed, giving me an incredulous look.

“Oh my god, who even are you?”

“Pure sunshine incarnate, that’s who. Let’s do this thing.”

We settled in together with the book between us, Kelcey diving into her dramatic reading, both of us cupping hot chocolate, and she kept her finger on the page pointing to where she was so she could nudge me when my part came in—luckily, the two leads both came into fiery contact in the first chapter, which gave me the opportunity to come in with my best impression of Kelcey’s voice, not knowing any better source of sunshine in this universe, and we both laughed until we were in tears at the increasingly unhinged voices we were doing, and when we reached the end of the chapter, both of us choking on laughter, she fell against me and shut the book, pushing it onto the table, and my mood turned into something more nervous as I felt her shoulders quiver with laughter against me.

“We should do an audiobook recording,” she said breathlessly.

“Unlicensed editions, Kelcey and Veronica style.”

“We’d be so popular.”

“With my dulcet howling tones… I’m sure we could do anything.”

She gave me the most brilliant smile that humanity had ever imagined—radiantly perfect in every way—before she said, “I mean, what can’t you do?”

“Dodge a Christmas tree.”

“Hm. We all have our weaknesses,” she said, and speaking of my weaknesses, my entire mind shut down permanently, because—moving swiftly, like one instant she wasn’t and the next instant she was, Kelcey kissed me.

It was a quick thing, just a peck on the lips, but it was enough to shatter everything I’d ever thought I’d known about the universe, because I was—I was in love with her. And if she did that, then—

“Whoops,” she said, halfway between chagrin and a nervous kind of excitement. “Sorry. Let’s, uh, pretend that didn’t happen.”

How? How exactly? What was her game plan with this? Was I also going to pretend up was down and day was night? I’d do it for Kelcey. “You can always take back anything,” I said warmly, trying not to let my voice quiver with the nerves I had. “Don’t worry about it.”

She studied me for a while longer, a soft smile on her lips, before she turned with a flush in her cheeks back to her cocoa. “You’re allowed to have your feelings too, you know.”

I looked away. “You know what they are… I’m just happy I get to be here with you.” And I was going to spend the rest of my life reeling from that kiss. Even if Kelcey never saw me again after today, I’d be going over and over and over that moment in my head, my heart aching at the memory.

She cupped her cocoa closer to her chest, and she said, “I’m… enjoying having you here. Don’t get too carried away with that, though! I just like seeing you reunited with the nutcracker you stole.”

“Ah, yes. Does he have a name?”

“Mister Henry George Philip Prince Lord David Constantinople Hector III.”

“I’m gonna just stick with the nutcracker. ”

She elbowed me playfully. “Okay, grumpy-pants. Um… Veronica?”

Ah—my name. I was never going to hear it anywhere in the world in the way I heard it in Kelcey’s voice. “Yeah?” I said, trying to play it cool.

“I meant to talk about serious things…”

My stomach tangled nervously. “So, now we’re finally settled in enough for it?”

She shrugged. “Maybe I’ve… forgotten what it was supposed to be. And maybe I just… like this. But you know you don’t have to work to try to get me my position back…”

“Kelcey—”

“I mean it. I’ve kind of made my peace with it, you know? It’s not a big deal. And… I mean, it’s basically just a big free vacation. Why complain about it?”

I pursed my lips. “If that’s actually how you feel, then I’ll support you, but… it’s more than just the work itself, it’s your pride on the line, you know? Your… dignity in the work. There was a lot you wanted to prove with this job. And I want you to be able to.”

She looked down, swirling the last dregs of her cocoa in her mug. “I just don’t want to get there by being helped all the time…”

“If I could work with a person who does everything without help or a person who makes everyone want to help, I’d take the second person every single time.”

She was quiet for a while, just staring into her mug, until finally she whispered, “I don’t know what to do to thank you.”

I laughed, settling back in the couch. “You already did, Kelce. I enjoy just getting to hang out with you.”

She pouted at me. “That doesn’t count. I enjoy that too.”

I grinned. “Still counts. Just means it’s a win for both of us. But if you want to do more, then that just means we can hang out another day, too?”

She laughed, eyes crinkling in the corners as she gave me a playful shove. “I’ll find something I can actually do for you, Vee. But for now… that sounds like fun.”

“Then we have a deal. Which means I should probably get to work on that project now… do you want me to work on it here so you can weigh in live?”

She smiled sweetly at me for a second before she sank into my side and pulled me into a quick hug, squeezing me once before she stood up. “That sounds like a plan,” she said. “I’ll grab your stuff. Anything else you want while I’m up?”

“Ah… a latte, maybe.”

“Maybe I owe you for one earlier,” she laughed. “It’s all yours.”

And even once I got back to my apartment later that night, I was reeling from it all, my head spinning with a dizzy, giddy sensation—how Kelcey and I had lingered so long at the door, and how I’d been replaying the split-second eternity of that kiss over and over and over… I was lying in bed when I realized I wasn’t getting to sleep anytime soon, watching fat snowflakes dance and twirl outside the window, thinking about Kelcey watching them fall too, and I absently found myself with my phone in my hands, reading a text from Anna.

Hope you didn’t butcher the date today, Veronica.

I fumbled the phone a little, staring at it, before I hit call, hoping they weren’t in the middle of another furious session of my supposedly cool sister turning into the world’s biggest bottom. She picked up after the first ring.

“Veronica,” she said coolly. “Judging by how you’re only getting back to me this late, I assume the date went well.”

“Did she call it a date?” I tried to match her cool, unbothered tone. I’d give my performance maybe two stars. Out of a hundred. Anna laughed.

“Not necessarily… but it was between the lines she was thinking it. So, how was it? Lunch date extended into something else?”

Kelcey getting excited about the prospect of a date with me… I really was a sucker. Officially could not even make fun of Anna and Lucy anymore. I settled back into bed, wrapping myself up in blankets, and I said, “It was kind of amazing… we were explicitly not making it a date because she needs more time than that to work out how mad she is at me, but we got lunch together, hung out at her place and watched some TV and tried one of her charcuterie boards—she’s kind of a savant with them, what do you know—and talked Christmas presents for her family, so we ended up going to the bookstore, and of course she got a book for herself too—stopped into Target on the way back and got the dopiest stuffed reindeer you’ve ever seen in your life, I’ll send you a picture, Kelcey named him Georg—and we read her new book together. Dramatic live reading, actually. Ensemble cast with the two of us. We think they’d be pretty popular as special unlicensed recordings. We’ve got a knack for it.”

Anna was quiet for a while before she said, “Damn.”

“What, jealous of our skills?”

She laughed. “Not in all my life did I ever imagine I’d hear you this in love with anyone.”

“I’m—” I scowled at the phone. “One date, and that’s all you need to decide I’m the most in love person in the world?” I paused. “And it wasn’t even a date. She was explicit about that, so I want to be clear I’m respecting her boundary.”

“Ma’am, I didn’t say a word about the date itself—or whatever you want to call it. Just the way you talk about her. You sound like she’s the most radiant thing ever born of this earth.”

I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Okay, thanks for that. I’m in love with her, of course I’m going to sound like I’m in love with her. She’s wonderful. And I’m still working on that project to try to make sure it’s Kelcey’s name and Kelcey’s name alone on it.”

“Pretty sure you want your name and hers together on it. Or on anything else. Monogrammed items for your household… wedding invitations…”

I smiled dryly at the phone. “Was I this annoying about you and Lucy?”

“Worse, actually, since you were mostly talking about our sex life. Be glad I’m magnanimous, or I’d be here getting revenge.”

“We’re not having sex,” I said. “I’m trying to be very clear to her that I’m not just interested in her for her body. Nothing sexual was happening today.”

“Aside from your steady stream of dirty jokes, I’m sure.”

“I didn’t make any! Do you know how many openings I had? Jesus Christ, woman, she got a messy sandwich and was talking about how she couldn’t help getting juices all over her face while she was wiping them off her chest and looking at me the whole time, and I did not make a dirty joke. Do you know what kind of willpower that takes?”

“Damn. I don’t even recognize you like that.”

“I’m being respectful.”

“Are we… sure she wasn’t trying to make a pass at you? That sounds like she might have been leaving that opening on purpose.”

I could not entertain that thought. I’d die. The thought of Kelcey actually trying to hear me talk about the dirty things I… I dug my fingernail into my thigh to distract myself before I veered off into territory I wasn’t supposed to be in. “If she wants to make a pass at me, she knows where I stand,” I said lightly. “I’m not doing anything unless she very clearly and enthusiastically expresses interest in it.”

She laughed. “She’s done a number on you.”

“Man, I’m putting all this work in on personal development, and you’re just having a laugh at my expense.”

“Hm. I guess it’s what sisters do. It’s not like you’ve been any better on that front. Besides, I think you’ll react worse if I’m sincere, so, actually… let me do that. I’m proud of you, Veronica. And I’m really happy you found someone who makes you feel this way.”

I curled up a little into myself. “Thanks. I’m still not so presumptuous as to think I’ve got a chance with her, but I think maybe… maybe she’ll want to spend some time around me. That maybe I’ll still be able to know her. And I guess I haven’t figured out where that goes, because it’s not like I can just go longing for her forever, but… at the very least, I think my life is better with her in it.”

She paused. “Damn, all in on the sincerity, huh? I kind of like it, actually.”

“Five chili peppers of sincerity.”

“Kelcey came up with that, didn’t she?” she deadpanned, and I cleared my throat.

“I forget sometimes that she works for you and you know her just as well.”

She laughed. “Can’t believe I’m saying this, but hey, I’m rooting for you two. You bring out the best in each other. And I think at this point… you’re good for her. And kind of really what she needs.”

As if the complete unmaking of my character wasn’t already deep-rooted enough at this point, I found myself welling up a little, too. I wiped my eyes, taking a breath to make sure I cleared out and that it didn’t show in my voice, and when I spoke, it showed in my voice. “Yeah? You, uh… you think so?”

“You’re getting a little tearful right now over how much you love her and just want to be enough for her. So, yeah, I’m gonna say yes.”

“Dammit, I was hoping you wouldn’t be able to tell.”

“Hm. I’ve got a pretty keen eye for these things. Far too many years spent knowing you for my liking. Guess it’s a good thing you kept her underwear that first time and it gave you an excuse to reach back out.”

“God, Anna, don’t say that. That’s disgusting. This isn’t just some sexual affair.”

She laughed. “You’re so seriously down bad. It’s okay to be sexually attracted to her, too, you know. Sexuality isn’t something to be ashamed of. And… you can have sexual thoughts about—or even have sex with—someone in a way that’s respectful, caring, loving. Even kinky sex can be all… love, respect, adoration… you probably haven’t had a lot of that.”

“Kinky sex?”

“That’s absolutely not what I mean, sadly. Sex from a place of mutual respect. I mean, if anything, it’s even more integral then, isn’t it? Like, BDSM without mutual respect is just assault.”

“I’m glad to know you and Lucy take your dom/sub play seriously.”

“I’ll pull your teeth out with pliers. So, does this mean sincerity hours are over?”

I laughed. “Just that I’m erring on the side of staying respectful and not objectifying the poor woman after everything I’ve put her through. But, uh… thanks, Anna. I’m running out of five-chili-pepper sincerity, so I’ll use my last gasp of it to tell you I appreciate you supporting me and Kelce. It’s, um… I don’t think we have a chance like that, but for once, I’d like it if I were wrong and you were right. I’d let you rub it in my face.”

“Hm. I’ll hold you to that.” She laughed. “All right, I’ve gotta get back to work. Are you going to be at the family party?”

“Ah, yeah, maybe… you know if the Goulds are going to be there too?”

“I mean, probably… they mooch off the family all the time.”

“Psh. Mooch is one way to describe it. Apparently they and our parents are swinging now.”

There was a long pause before Anna, in the most horrified voice I’d ever heard, said, “I beg your pardon?”

“Yeah, Mom was chatting to me about the special bond the four of them have… in a way that made it clear they’re either swingers or they’re having wild four-way group sex, but Mom would never.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Matthew Gould would, though.”

“God, he would. But I don’t want to think about that, this is bad enough. Oh, Jesus, I’m gonna be sick. With my client? ”

“Mom sees what she wants and goes for it, I guess.”

“Oh my god, my life was so much better before this phone call. Oh… I’m going to throw up. Maybe I won’t make it to the family party.”

“I’ll let Mom know you’re too icked out by swingers to attend.”

“Don’t say a fucking word about it. And I don’t have anything against swingers in general, but—my mom? With my client? ”

“I think you’re missing an important aspect.”

“What…?”

“Our dad. With your client’s wife.”

“ Ew. Veronica, shut up—oh my god. God, I’m going to go throw up. I’ll come up with an excuse not to be there. Oh, god.”

“See you later, Anna,” I laughed, hanging up, and I settled back in bed, looking at my phone again to a text from Kelcey, showing Georg the reindeer and Mister Henry George Philip Prince Lord David Constantinople Hector III the nutcracker, set together on her nightstand.

Georg and Mister Henry say goodnight!

I laughed, texting back, goodnight, Georg, and then, goodnight, Mister Henry George Philip Prince Lord David Constantinople Hector III, and then, goodnight, Kelcey. See you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow, Veronica!

Those were my four favorite words in the English language.