Chapter Seventeen

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

From the Kitchen of Verbena Fullbright

Making white buttercream can be a tricky business. Being that butter has a natural yellow tint, it tends to give the frosting a sallow appearance. To create a vibrant white, add a drop or two of purple food coloring into the bowl and watch the magic happen. Sometimes the most unexpected things bring about the brightness we're looking for.

Addie

"It'll be here when it gets here. Ain't much we can do about it, so don't go spending another minute worrying," Aunt Bean said into her cell phone as I pulled into the parking lot of Friddle's Market on Friday afternoon. "We'll reopen without the sign if we have to. Now, I'm fixin' to visit your mama in just a little bit. Do y'all need anything? Milk, bread, squirrel food? I'm about to run into Friddle's."

She was talking to Ty Underwood about the bakery sign that was still on back order. And apparently, groceries. Yesterday he'd found a tiny, dazed squirrel sitting on the hood of his truck before heading off to work and was taking care of it until tomorrow when he planned to run it to a rehabber down in Auburn. Ernie had texted pictures of the critter to Aunt Bean and we'd all ooh ed and aah ed over the cute baby.

I parked the car, cut the engine. As I waited for Bean to finish her call, I turned my face toward the sky and watched the clouds drift by. For the past week, I'd noticed that colors seemed brighter. My mood lighter. Lighter than air.

My shadow had lifted.

Even still, there had been moments, many moments, since my conversation with Sawyer that I'd found myself in tears. From anger. From sadness. From relief. I was trying not to beat myself up over closing myself off for so long, but I'd be lying if I said it had been easy. It was going to take time to sort through all my feelings.

Staying busy helped keep my emotions from becoming overwhelming. The bakery was as hectic as ever, I'd been helping Tessa Jane with her cookies, and I'd been working at night, recording auditions and several commercials for a national cereal campaign. I'd also started planning my move back to Starlight. For now, I was going to continue living with Aunt Bean.

In the rearview mirror I noticed Tessa Jane frowning as she stared out the window. I followed her gaze and saw the starlings perched on top of the market. They'd been staying close for weeks now, and it was impossible not to wonder why. Impossible not to worry.

Bean laughed at something Ty must've said. "All righty, but if you think of anything, give me a call. See you soon." She hung up, dropped her phone into her pocketbook, and then glanced at us. "Ready, girls?"

As if she'd been the one kept waiting.

"Yes, ma'am," we answered, sharing a smile as we climbed out of the car.

It had already been a long day, even though it was barely half over. Tessa Jane and I had both gone with Bean to her cardiac MRI appointment, hoping to hear news on the test directly afterward. Something along the lines of the tech proclaiming that Bean's heart looked perfect, but we had no such luck. Everyone had been friendly and professional and disappointingly tight-lipped. It would likely be days before the doctor called with the results.

Tessa Jane and I dutifully followed Aunt Bean into the store. She'd left her walking stick in the car and leaned heavily on the shopping buggy as we navigated aisles. She drove it much like she drove her truck on empty roads: wild and reckless. We were lucky to get out of the pet food aisle without a major catastrophe. And when she swung into the produce section, she nearly crashed into a display of oranges, just barely missing.

I was filling a bag with apples when I heard her call out a great big hello. When I turned, I saw it was Dare and Petal she'd been greeting.

Petal wore a frown as she clung to Dare's arm. The wound on his head had healed but a faint yellow tint still marked the spot where Petal's shoe had hit him. His cheeks were flushed and he didn't look like he had an ounce of energy.

"It was rather disappointing if I'm being honest," Petal was saying to Aunt Bean as I placed the apples in the buggy. "It rained most of the time we were there. The food wasn't that great. The bed wasn't as soft as I'd like. And the birds were so loud in the morning I could hardly sleep in."

Petal appeared bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. The tan she'd somehow acquired despite the rain brought out the blue in her eyes. She wore a flattering dress that emphasized her narrow waist, high heels, and her silky blond hair cascaded down her back.

Aunt Bean tut-tutted appropriately as Petal finished talking while Tessa Jane wandered over and added a bag of raw peanuts to our order.

"It sure is a good thing honeymoons aren't meant for sleeping." Bean gave a big wink and waggled her eyebrows.

Petal's voice was sickly sweet as she said, "Some honeymoons, perhaps." She didn't see Dare take a deep breath, but she must've felt it, because she leaned into him extra and added, "Dare was feeling puny on the trip."

"Food poisoning, I think," he said, sounding utterly miserable.

"Oh, I'm right sorry to hear that," Aunt Bean said. "You still look a little peaked if you don't mind me saying. Have you seen a doctor since you've been back?"

"No, ma'am."

Petal said, "You ain't seen someone with a weaker constitution. I had to go on our snorkel excursion by myself since he couldn't man up enough to make the trip."

Next to me, I felt Tessa Jane stiffen. She crossed her arms and tucked fisted hands under her elbows.

"I insisted she go," Dare said weakly. He was hunched over the buggy much like Aunt Bean was. Using it for support.

"Though without him there, I did get extra attention from the snorkel instructor, who was as cute as a button. I have a picture, let me show y'all!"

I saw Dare take another deep breath as she rooted through her bag.

"How's Pepper doing?" Tessa Jane asked suddenly. "We sure do miss her."

Petal snorted as she pulled out her phone. "Do you want her?"

"She's kidding," Dare said.

Petal's mouth pursed as she continued to scroll through her phone. "But seriously."

Not liking the direction this conversation was going, I looked for an escape route. "We should let—"

"Oh, here it is!" Petal held out her phone.

We leaned in. The picture was of Petal in a teeny tiny bikini on a boat. A muscled blond man who looked straight out of a Marvel movie had his hand on the small of her back. She was all smiles and googly eyes as she looked up at him.

"Well, look at how beautiful… that water is," Aunt Bean said, slowly, purposefully.

Tessa Jane nodded. "And look at the way the sun is sparkling on the water. Is it really as crystal clear as it looks?"

Obviously Tessa Jane had overheard Petal complaining about the rain.

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling.

Petal tucked her phone away, her brows knitted in irritation that she hadn't gotten the reaction she'd wanted from us. "Absolutely. I never did know how much I loved the ocean until this trip. Now I want to move to the beach. My cousin Petie lives down in Orange Beach and says there's a condo for sale not too far from her." She elbowed Dare sharply near his ribs. "But he's being a party pooper."

Dare tensed up. His grip tightened on the buggy. "I just don't think it's the right time to move."

"He'll come around." Petal smiled as she looped her arm around him once again and gave a tight squeeze.

He flinched.

"Are you okay, darlin'?" Aunt Bean asked him, her eyebrows pulled together in concern.

He'd broken out in a sweat. "Mostly, ma'am. My stomach still isn't quite right, but I'm sure it'll be fine in another day or two."

"Men," Petal muttered. "I had to drag this lazybones out of bed today just to do some shopping." She rolled her eyes. "He's takin' the man flu to a whole new level. It's downright embarrassing."

Dare shot her a look.

She shrugged. "Well, it is."

Aunt Bean's nostrils flared but she kept her voice even as she said, "Considering that he hasn't gotten better in what, a week now, perhaps a visit to the doctor would've been a better suggestion than shopping."

Petal's chin lifted. "It's a stomachache . He'll live. Tell them, Dare."

Before he could say anything, Bean asked him, "Does it hurt to touch? Your stomach?"

He glanced at Petal, then back at Bean and nodded.

"He's fine ," Petal said, pulling her hand away from him. "Really, Miss Ver—"

Bean glared at her. "Hush up, Petal."

Petal's mouth fell open, and she crossed her arms.

"Only on your right side? Or is there pain all over?" Bean asked him.

He fidgeted. "Mostly my right side. Some toward the middle."

Bean reached over and placed her hand on his forehead. "My word! You're burning up." Suddenly she rose to her full height of five foot three, drew her shoulders back, and used her most no-nonsense tone of voice to say, "You best take yourself straight over to the emergency room to get checked out. It might could be your appendix acting up. I've seen this before with Addie."

I glanced at him, full of sympathy. I'd been fourteen when my appendix nearly ruptured because I ignored the pain for a week. It had been sheer misery. "Queasy? Can't eat much? Hurts to walk? Hurts to even breathe?"

Subtly, he nodded.

Petal shook her head. "Y'all are making a mountain out of a—"

Bean's fiery glare silenced her. Petal's jaw clenched.

Tessa Jane was shifting foot to foot and eyeing the door like she was fixin' to grab Dare and take him to a doctor herself.

"If it is your appendix," Bean said, "you're risking a rupture if you don't get it fixed. And if it's not your appendix, it's something . You need to get it looked at." She held Dare's gaze for a long moment, then added, "I'll take you if you want, darlin'. I'm real good at navigating hospitals these days."

Before he could answer, Petal snapped to. "I'll take him. I'm his wife."

"I'm real glad you remembered, sweetie. For a moment there I thought you'd plumb forgotten your vow of in sickness and in health." Bean's perfectly pleasant tone only served to highlight the rebuke instead of downplaying it.

Petal fluttered her eyelashes and cocked a hip. "What would you know about wedding vows, Miss Verbena?"

I gasped. Tessa Jane pulled her fists out from underneath her arms as though she was getting ready to throw one. Dare straightened and looked absolutely mortified.

With the spiteful question Petal had all but declared war between her and Aunt Bean, and it seemed to me she'd underestimated her opponent, heart ailment or no.

Bean smiled thinly. "Apparently a sight more than you, dear, considering how unwell your husband appears to be. Bless your heart ."

They stared at each other for a long second before Petal turned to Dare, her face pinched. "I'm ready to go now."

Bean patted Dare's hand. "I'll check in with y'all later to see what all the doctor had to say."

With his eyebrows drawn low, he nodded, and Petal didn't even spare us another glance as she latched onto his arm and steered him toward the front doors. As they walked off, she said in that syrupy voice I was coming to loathe, "You should've told me how bad it was, honey. I had no idea."

"Lord have mercy," Aunt Bean said under her breath.

My stomach churned.

Tears brimmed in Tessa Jane's eyes as she watched them go. "Do you think she loves him at all?"

Aunt Bean sighed deeply. "Peanut, I think Petal has made it perfectly clear that the only person she loves is herself."

Tessa Jane

"Are you sure you're ready to do this?" Addie asked me.

We stood on the sidewalk outside Gossamer, our reflections staring back at us from the wide storefront window. On display was a mannequin wearing a big floofy fairy-tale wedding gown with a sweetheart neckline, a darling satin belt, and a billowy tulle skirt.

I held on to my pendant, the sapphires warming in my hand. "Mostly sure."

Addie gently steered me toward a bench under a tree draped in twinkle lights. "There's no need to go in right this minute. Let's sit for a while."

We sat, and she said, "We can drive down to Montgomery, check out the boutiques there."

Before coming here we'd searched the farmhouse for dresses to wear to the Valentine's gala, but had come up emptyhanded. It was probably a sign we should stay home, like we'd originally planned, but we were hoping Aunt Bean's admirer would be revealed and that alone made it worth going.

"We don't have time. I'll be okay in another few minutes. I promise," I added.

Addie had two commercials to record tonight and I had three dozen cookies to decorate. Tomorrow, the bakery schedule was jam-packed between normal operations and finishing up two wedding cakes and the cupcake tower for the gala. We were going to be lucky if we got more than a few hours' sleep tonight.

As the sun sank behind the buildings on Market Street, casting tall shadows, my gaze kept wandering back to the mannequin.

I said, "Carson would've loved the dress in the window. He'd encouraged me to choose a princess gown, but when I tried one on, it swallowed me whole. Think marshmallow with stick arms. I looked ridiculous."

She smiled. "Impossible."

"Trust me, it wasn't a good look. When I told him I'd chosen a more form-fitting lace dress, he gave me sad puppy dog eyes and said, ‘I'm sure you'll still be beautiful.'"

Addie winced.

"Yeah. His comment made me run back to the dress shop to try on another ten gowns before my mama talked some sense into me, reminding me that the choice was mine . And then, once I calmed down, she asked if I'd considered how manipulative his response had been. She called it a red flag."

Addie shifted, turning her body toward me. "Wow. I mean, she's right, but still."

"I know. Suddenly, all I could see were his red flags."

Like how when we went to a restaurant, he always ordered for me without asking me what I wanted. And how on our rare days off, we had to do what he wanted or he pouted the whole time, ruining the outing. Or the way he questioned how I spent my money. And how he'd critique my pastries—especially if I'd received compliments on them from guests. Or how he talked and talked about his day but rarely asked about mine. And how he would never admit when he was wrong. Not ever. Not even about the silliest things, like the time he argued for an entire shift that a red panda was a bear, even when an online search confirmed it wasn't. The name was a misnomer. The list went on and on.

The awning above the dress shop flapped in the wind, as if encouraging me to finish the story, to tell her the worst of it. "That was also when Mama suggested that before we got married we visit a counselor who could help us mesh our communication styles ."

Addie tucked a flyaway hair behind her ear. "Did he agree to go?"

I nodded and gave her a wry smile. "After six sessions, the counselor gently recommended that we consider postponing the wedding in favor of more therapy."

She gasped. "No!"

"Oh yes. Somehow the sessions, which were meant to bring us closer together, had only showcased our differences. And deep down, I knew the therapist was right—that she was trying to warn us that we were incompatible, but I simply couldn't bear the thought of postponing. The wedding was only three weeks away at that point. The venue had been booked, the menu chosen, the invitations sent. Changing the date would have meant forfeiting thousands of dollars in deposits. More importantly, it would've meant disappointing so many people. People who love and care for us. The thought of notifying everyone made me sick to my stomach. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't."

Addie blew out a breath and compassion filled her eyes. "Oh, Tessa Jane."

"So I talked myself out of how bad things really were between us. I purposefully chose to see things the way I wanted them to be. Instead of the way they were. And Carson did, too, right up until it was time to walk down the aisle."

Addie lifted an eyebrow. "When he bailed without warning."

I nodded again. "And over these last few months when everyone would tell me he was a fool for what he'd done, I agreed, because I couldn't accept the truth."

"What truth is that?"

"He wasn't the fool. I was. I should've called everything off the minute I saw those red flags."

"Hindsight is a messy business, Tessa Jane. Trust me, I know. You can't take full blame for this. Nope. Not happening. I won't let you."

"It's okay, it really is. It's about time I stop being so angry and embarrassed and accept that I blew my chance to back out with only minimal embarrassment and emotional damage."

"It's hard to back out when love's involved."

I rubbed a finger over my pendant. "That's one of the hardest parts to accept. To admit . I didn't love him. Well, at some point I did, certainly. A long time ago when I built up a store of dreams about a house with a picket fence and lots of babies because I wanted a big family. A big, happy, loving family. But by the end of those therapy sessions I had to convince myself that the love was still there. Somewhere. I was in denial. Which was why I'd been devastated when he wasn't standing alongside the pastor on my wedding day."

I suddenly wondered about that denial. And how it had been in the early days of the therapy sessions that my shadow had fully enveloped me.

For the first time, I considered that I hadn't been lost in the dark.

I'd been hiding.

Hiding from the truth. Hiding from speaking out and acknowledging my true feelings. Now that I was stepping back into the light, I could see the past so much more clearly.

"The truth is," I said, "we're better off apart. Much better off."

After all, the breakup with Carson had led me here, where my aunt's laughter filled me with joy, where I was happy baking cookies, walking dogs, playing with cats. Where I'd reconnected with my sister.

Addie surprised me by throwing an arm around my shoulder, tugging me in close to her side. "Maybe so. But he is a fool. And an idiot. And a host of other words that would make Aunt Bean blush. Okay, maybe not Aunt Bean. But you know what I mean. What he did to you on your wedding day was unconscionable. Indefensible. You might have regrets, yes, but the blame for what happened that day sits squarely on his shoulders. He could've come to you before the ceremony. You could've faced your guests together. Instead, he took the easy way out. The coward's way out."

Truly, it was yet another example of his self-centered attitude. It made me want to smack him upside his head, honestly, which told me I still had a little more healing to do.

"Thanks, Addie." I allowed myself to lean against her. After a minute or two of watching tourists drift by, shopping bags in hand, I said, "I worry, though."

"About?"

"Dare. I see some of myself in him. I think he's seeing things the way he wants them to be. Instead of the way they are."

"I'm worried, too," she said quietly.

As we sat there, huddled together, I imagined Dare becoming lost in the dark, hiding from the truth of his situation. I knew I had to do something to help him. Because if I'd learned anything since coming back to Starlight, it was that the more people there were to lean on, the easier it was going to be to find the way back to the light.

And that the support might come from the most unexpected people.