3. Chad

The Little night was more fun than I expected.

They were all so cute and sweet as they tentatively climbed onto my lap and figured out how to latch on. It was always an adjustment the first time, especially for those who'd never tried it before. But even if they'd experienced suckling without milk, when those first few drops begin to flow, there was always a bit of surprise and excitement until they got into a rhythm.

A few of them had to be nudged away by their caretakers when they got a little greedy, but most were happy with a minute or two of feeding before going back to the person that they'd arrived with. Except for the cute little sailor boy who had been watching me all night.

When he got out of line, I was disappointed.

I could tell how badly he wanted to try to suckle, but he was obviously shy. Very shy. In fact, on the few instances I was able to make eye contact with him, he immediately turned away, as if he could make himself invisible.

But I did notice that he took my card.

I didn't have high expectations that he'd use it, but if he did, I would do my best to talk him into a personal session. Not everyone wanted to suckle. Some Littles preferred a bottle or sippy cup so they could be in their space with their people. But I was hopeful he'd be willing to give it a try so I could possibly get to know him a bit.

I'd worked with plenty of first-timers who warred between shame and self-consciousness about wanting to drink straight from the tap. It was obviously not a common situation, but for those who needed the milk proteins that only human milk could provide, it was the best method of delivery.

Also, the most expensive.

Which was good for me but bad for customers who were cost conscious. Although, I had options for everybody. I was an equal opportunity provider, happy to provide for free when a local shelter was low on formula and needed to supplement. Or to my premium skin-to-skin clients at top dollar. And all those in between. And then there were those who needed to buy frozen, usually because they were traveling and wouldn't be able to take fresh milk on the road for extended periods of time.

And some of my clients were damn addicts. The thought made me smile. If they had to go a day without milk, they were convinced their health would fail or all their gains would be lost. Silly but good for business.

After pumping as much as I could, I went for my morning run. I was three miles into it and on an uphill stretch when my phone rang. It was my business line, so I slowed down to a jog and answered the call. "Chad's Power Milk. How can I help you?"

The line was quiet, but it sounded like there was someone there. I pulled the phone away from my ear to make sure we had a good connection. "Hello, this is Chad. Can I help you?"

And then the call disconnected. Probably a wrong number.

I slipped my phone back into the pocket built into my shorts and headed up the hill. With just a few blocks left until I was home, my phone rang again from the same number.

Occasionally, a customer would call who was a little nervous about identifying themselves. It didn't happen often, but there had been a few times in the past. My mind immediately went to the boy from the club. Could it be him?

"Hello, this is Chad. What's your name?"

There was a short bout of silence before I heard a soft voice say, "Ricky."

"Thanks for calling, Ricky." I placed my hand on my hip and took a deep breath so I wasn't panting. "Did we meet the other night?"

The line was quiet, but I could almost imagine him shaking his head.

"You might have felt too shy to meet me, so you got out of line?"

"Maybe."

Yes, it was him. "All right, sweetheart. I'm happy to answer any questions that you have, but it would be easier for us to do this in person so I can see your responses a little bit better than having to hear them."

"Okay."

I thought about our options and then looked at my watch. I had to drop off a quart at the medspa downtown. They used it for some sort of facial they probably charged a thousand dollars for, so I took a chance and put it out there. "I'm gonna be at the Java Hut on California Avenue at ten-thirty this morning. Would you like to meet me there so we can talk?"

"Okay." Again, it was barely a whisper, and I wasn't sure he'd actually show up, but that was the best I could do.

"All right, Ricky. I'll grab a table and you come find me when you're ready."

It was almost nine, so I had plenty of time to shower, pump, and stake out a table at the Java Hut. I wanted to be ready and in a semi-private spot if he did show up. And if he didn't, I had some emails I could respond to while I waited.

I wasn't due at the spa until eleven-thirty, so I had plenty of time to kill, and I couldn't imagine doing anything better than waiting for a sweet boy to find the courage to speak with me.

After dropping my stuff at a table facing the front door, I bought two bottles of water and ordered a cup of herbal tea. I wanted to make it easy for Ricky to find me when he came in, but still provide enough space for him to decide if and when he was ready to join me.

And even though I really wanted a cup of coffee, heavy on the black, I had to keep my caffeine levels in check while I was feeding the babies. Small amounts of caffeine was fine for healthy babies, but with preemies, I didn't want to take any chances.

Tea seemed to help my production level anyway, so it was a win-win all the way around.

At exactly ten twenty-nine, the door opened, and Ricky walked in.

I tried to keep my eyes down, not putting pressure on him to approach me, but when he stood by the door for several seconds, I couldn't resist. I glanced up and smiled and then waved him over. "Come on in, Ricky. Have a seat."

He inhaled deeply and slowly walked toward me. After standing by the chair for a moment, he carefully dropped into the seat across from me. "Hi."

Fuck, he was cute. I mean, he was adorable in his little sailor jammies at the club, but dressed up for work in a polo and chinos was almost cuter. "It's really nice to meet you, Ricky. I'm glad you came."

He nodded and rolled his lip between his teeth, debating whether to speak.

I could tell he wasn't comfortable, so I did my best to put him at ease. I got you a water, but if you'd like something to drink or maybe a pastry, I can go get that for you. Do you drink coffee?

He shook his head and then cleared his throat. "Usually just hot cocoa."

It was a risk, but I took the opportunity to lighten the tension. "A milk man. I can appreciate that." I winked and stood up from the table. "One hot cocoa coming up."

At the counter, I ordered his cocoa with whipped cream, taking my time getting back so he had a moment to gather himself. Poor boy looked like he was gonna burst into tears or run from the building. Possibly both.

Time to turn on the charm, Chad. "I'm probably not supposed to say this, but I was a little disappointed when you got out of line."

His jaw dropped open, and he looked surprised. "I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault. I was just…shy."

"You don't have to apologize, sweetheart. Lots of people are shy. I just thought you looked so cute in your sailor jammies, and I wanted to meet you."

"You did?" he whispered. "Why?"

Why, indeed. "Well, of all the boys and girls there, you're the one who caught my eye." I figured honesty was the best policy with this kid, and either it would work…or it wouldn't. "I hope I'm not being too forward."

"You're not, if you're telling the truth."

That wasn't the response I expected. "Do you think I'm not telling the truth?"

He shrugged and glanced up, meeting my gaze for a moment before looking away again. "It's hard to believe. There were a lot of people there, and…I'm not special."

Oh, yes, sweetheart. You definitely are.I wanted so bad to reach across the table and brush my finger across his cheek or hold his hand against my lips. But we definitely weren't ready for contact. "You seem pretty special to me." I took a deep breath and leaned back in my chair, putting a little bit more space between us so he wouldn't feel intimidated. "So, do you have any questions I can answer? Maybe you'd like to set up a private session?"

His whole face got red as he reached for his mug and took a sip. "Yeah, maybe." He took a sip as soon as the words were out as if the distraction might make me forget.

Oh, I could never forget you."Okay, we can definitely do that. I have openings for house calls later this week, and of course, I also sell fresh and frozen milk if you'd be more comfortable with that."

He looked up at me with a completely different expression on his face. "Like, in a cup?"

I chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, you can put it in a cup. I'll provide it in a bag, but some people will drink it in a smoothie or in their coffee…or from a bottle. Whatever you'd like."

His jaw hung open for a moment as he just looked at me, evaluating what I'd just said. "What about the other way? Like…on the couch."

Yes, now we were getting somewhere. "The freshest of the fresh." I placed my hand over my heart and gave a little tap. "Direct from the source would be my preference too, if you'd like to try that."

He nodded just enough for me to notice and then looked away. "Um, where? Like, do I go to you or do you come to me?"

"I travel throughout the greater Seattle area. Are you local?"

"Yeah, I have a house on Forest Street. Is that okay?"

I cocked my head and pulled up the map app on my phone. "Oh, that's only a few miles from my place. I'm on the other side of the park on Bradford. Would you like to meet at your place? Do you live alone?"

He sighed and gave me a sad smile. "Yeah. Very alone."