2. Ricky

A Little night.

It sounded perfect. Exactly what I needed in order to start meeting people. At least, that was what Mark and Adam kept telling me.

They liked to take turns lecturing me over the fact that I'd never meet a Daddy in that boring office of mine. I knew they were right, but it was still scary to put myself out there in such a public way.

I'd been to a couple of munches with them that Lashes and Lace had put on. They were all casual and fun. Well, fun if you liked talking to people. I didn't, but I could appreciate watching everybody else talk and interact… And they seemed to be having fun, so it wasn't all bad.

But an event at their club sounded like a bigger commitment. Not only would I be expected to dress the part of a Little, which I'd never done publicly, but I would also have to allow myself to regress in a way that made me completely vulnerable to those around me.

I wanted it so bad, but I was also afraid to be taken advantage of. Again.

The last time I let someone really see that side of me ended in disaster. Okay, it wasn't a complete disaster, but it was a time filled with humiliation and shame that took me a long time to move past. That was two years ago, and I felt ready to try again. Maybe.

I turned back to my spreadsheet so I could focus on my work. I was working on a huge project that had a rushed deadline. As a forensic accountant, I loved these kinds of challenges. In this case, the owner of several local med spas had hired my firm to audit their books. They were convinced someone in the company was stealing, but they couldn't figure out where the problem was.

I'd only been digging through the files for two days, but I could already see where the discrepancies were starting to pop up. That was what I loved.

Math wasn't everybody's jam, but it was definitely mine. I loved that every problem had a solution. Numbers made sense, and if you knew how to manipulate them the right way, everything worked out as it was supposed to. If only people were as easy to understand.

Adam said I would have a better time with people if I weren't so damn shy. He was probably right. My shyness could be debilitating at the best of times, but that was why I needed to push myself out of my comfort zone. If it were up to me, I'd probably be completely nonverbal and communicate only through my computer for the rest of my life.

But deep down, I knew that wasn't the kind of life I wanted.

I wanted a partner. Someone who could push me when I was turning inward and support me when I needed downtime.

Someone to take care of me.

Before I chickened out, I picked up my phone and texted Adam and Mark back. I'll go. But I'm not promising to participate.

Mark responded back with a laughing emoji. We won't force you to do anything, but I heard there's a surprise guest that everyone is gonna want to meet.

Adam finally chimed in. Who is it? I haven't heard anything about a surprise guest.

Mark responded back with a string of emojis that I didn't even recognize. It's a surprise. But you're gonna like it. And if you don't, more for me.

More for you? I finally jumped into the conversation, curious what he meant by that. Like a candy bar or cupcakes? I loved cupcakes.

Kinda… But not exactly. You'll find out when you get there.

Great, now there was even more pressure to participate in something special. I hated being put on the spot and expected to love something when maybe I wouldn't love it. Or maybe I would love it but be too embarrassed to participate.

God, I hoped it wasn't some sort of person dressed up in a big animal costume. Those were fun to look at, but I never wanted to sit on their lap or take a picture with them. Especially not if I was wearing the one-piece pajamas I kept tucked in the back of my drawer for those times when I needed to be Little. I didn't get to wear them often, but I could be brave and pretend I was going to a Halloween party and everyone would be dressed up.

That might be the only way Adam and Mark could get me out of my house.

I stood in the changing room with my arms crossed over my chest, trying to hide even though there was no way that was possible. "I feel so silly."

"That's the point." Adam was wearing a cropped T-shirt and short shorts with a diaper poking out the top of his waistband. "We're gonna be silly tonight."

Mark was in one-piece pajamas, similar to mine, but with built-in feet instead of cuffed at the ankles. "You're allowed to be yourself here, remember? Don't worry about anybody else. Just let Little Ricky come out and play with us and have some fun. You need this, man, more than any of us."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I dropped my arms to my sides and shook out my shoulders. "Okay, I'm ready."

Adam grabbed my shoulder and then wrapped his arm around me. "Let's do this."

There was a door from the changing room that went directly into the Littles playroom, so at least I didn't have to walk down any halls where other people might see me.

That was the good part.

The bad part was that as soon as we walked into the playroom, all eyes were on us.

Mark and Adam both loved attention, so they were happy to take the lead, smiling and waving to their onlookers while dragging me behind them.

I kept my eyes down on the ground in front of me, not wanting to acknowledge that anyone could even see me. I hated when people looked at me. Luckily, the attention quickly fell away from us and everyone went back to what they were doing while we headed straight to the snack table.

"There is a candy bar!" I grabbed the big scoop in the jellybean jar and took a small amount out, then placed them on a plate. "I love jellybeans."

"And cotton candy." Adam already had a blue sticky mess on his face, but he was wearing the biggest grin I'd ever seen on him. "It's so good."

I laughed and reached for a chocolate truffle. I loved chocolate. And if I was gonna indulge tonight, I was going all in. At least as far as treats were concerned.

"Apple, grape, or milk?" Mark was standing by the drink table.

I looked at him, wondering why he even had to ask. He knew what I liked. "Milk. Definitely milk."

He grabbed two cartons. "White or chocolate?"

As if. "White, obviously." I once saw a documentary on how they made chocolate milk for packaging, and…it kinda ruined it for me. I liked making chocolate milk at home or when I knew it was made from white milk and chocolate, but not the kind that came premixed in a carton.

He handed me a tiny carton with a straw attached and grabbed one for himself.

"Thank you, Marky."

"I want to color." Adam pointed at one of the empty tables.

"Me too." Mark was right behind him.

Since my friends had spotted their first activity, I followed along behind, doing my best to subtly look around at all the people and toys spread throughout the room. About ten Daddies and caretakers were scattered along the outer walls, watching their Littles from a distance. I couldn't press down the tinge of envy for the boys and girls who had somebody taking care of them.

I wanted a Daddy too.

We all sat on the floor in front of a coffee table and reached for coloring sheets. There was an assortment of crayons and markers in every shape and grip size. I chose colored pencils because they were the most consistent. If I wanted a dark line, I sharpened it. If I wanted a lighter line, I used a smooth tip. Like math, it was perfectly logical, and there was always a simple solution.

Dumb markers ran out of ink and dried up. Definitely not consistent.

I grabbed a picture of a penguin and a black pencil and began coloring. I hadn't even filled in the top of its head before Mark gasped. "There he is. Our milk Daddy."

Adam and I both snapped our heads up to see what Mark was talking about. "Who? Where?"

Mark was staring over my shoulder at a man in the corner of a sofa. He was huge like a football player and started to unbutton his shirt.

I didn't understand why he would be there. "Is he a stripper?"

Mark bit his lip and shook his head. "Better. He makes milk."

Adam's jaw dropped, and he turned to look back at the man. "Really? Like milk Daddy as in…we can drink from him?"

"Yep. We can all take a turn."

They both glanced at me. "You're so doing this, Ricky."

I immediately began to shake my head, and I was pretty sure my lungs stopped working. "No way. I can't do that. That would be… I can't."

We all turned back and watched as a baby Little crawled over to the couch and was helped up by his Daddy to get in position on the man's lap.

Mark was practically drooling. "See, he's doing it. That's why they brought him in tonight. He's our special surprise."

I couldn't look away as the Little, who was slightly smaller than me but a good ten years older, nestled up against the man's chest. It took a second, but then he seemed to be drinking from him the way a baby would from a mother. "I didn't even know that was possible."

"It is. There's a whole organization of guys who make milk. Milk brothers or something… I don't know the name, but this guy does it as a business. You can literally hire him to feed you." How did Mark know so much about this?

Well, that was interesting. I watched in amazement as the boy continued to drink for a few minutes before pulling off. He then gave the milkman a hug and crawled away with his Daddy. There was immediately a new boy on the couch and in the man"s lap, just as eager to taste his offering.

"The line's getting long. I'm getting in it now. I don't want him to run out." Mark stood up and looked at us.

Adam looked back at the man in horror. "Will he run out?"

"Probably. I'm sure it's not an unlimited supply, and I really wanna taste him."

Adam stood up too, and they both turned to me. "You coming, Ricky?"

I got up and walked over to the line that had already formed, but mostly I was just watching. And trying to keep my dick hidden because it had gotten hard from thinking about tasting a real Daddy's milk.

Mark and Adam chatted amongst themselves, but I didn't pay attention to what they were saying. I just watched, stared really, as boys and girls and even a puppy climbed into his lap and got a taste.

My mouth was watering, but I was still unsure whether I could try it myself.

"Do you want to go first?" Adam asked Mark.

He nodded quickly. "Yeah, I won't take too much." Then he looked back at me and winked. "I'll make sure to leave you a few drops."

I swallowed as I saw my friend slip onto the couch, spread out, and latch on to the sexy man. I took a chance and looked up at his face and realized he was staring right back at me. Oh my god. He knows I want to try it.

Then again, he was probably thinking I looked silly in my sailor outfit. I liked boats, so sue me.

True to his word, Mark didn't spend too much time, and suddenly, it was Adam's turn. I watched in wonder as Adam took his position, and then I realized I would be next. No way. I couldn't do it. I grabbed a business card that was stacked on the coffee table and followed Mark back to where we'd been coloring.

He looked at me and frowned. "You don't want to try it?"

I shook my head, finally taking a deep breath. "Nah, I'm pretty full." I glanced at the carton of milk that suddenly seemed unappetizing. "How was it?"

Mark grinned. "Really good. Kinda like the milk that's left after you eat all your cereal."

I loved that milk.

"And it's warm. I was afraid I'd fall asleep if I stayed any longer."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

Adam came back and dropped onto the floor beside me. "You should get back in line. It's really cool. I grabbed his card. I might need to hire him when I have a bad day or can't sleep."

My thoughts wandered to the card I'd slipped inside the wrist cuff of my pajamas.

But I wasn't gonna call him. Probably not, anyway. What would I even say?