16. Kushiel

Kushiel ran his hands along his pants while he got himself under control. His reaction to Cass was really so over the top. When they were looking at each other, Kushiel almost thought… Well, it was silly what he almost thought. Surely Cass hadn't been about to lean in to kiss him. The man was just offering him comfort and support. Kushiel pushed his feelings down and looked up to see Aunt Ro.

The ghost was trailing behind her, and they looked much different than they had before. They were upright now instead of crawling, and although they didn't quite look like a person, they also didn't look like just a shadow either. They were somewhere in between the two. It felt like if you squinted really hard maybe you'd be able to make out features, but you couldn't quite do it.

The ghost sort of walked and sort of floated over to Kushiel, and they once again curled up next to him. Kushiel felt like the soul was lighter than they had been before, and they were less fractured as well.

"Oh, my poor lost soul. Who did such a thing to you?" Kushiel asked, placing his hand where the ghost's head was. He didn't quite feel an actual head, but it felt like the air was thicker.

The ghost groaned, low and sad, and Cass and Aunt Ro both jerked, staring at them.

"Holy shit," Cass whispered.

"Oh, this would make life so much easier," Aunt Ro murmured.

Kushiel just looked at them, confused. "What would?" he asked.

"If the ghost can communicate, my dear," Aunt Ro responded. "They haven"t been able to make any noise at all before now. I don't think they were substantial enough. But if they can groan, then they could, theoretically, speak. They could tell us where they came from, who did this to them, where the others are?—"

"If they even know any of that," Cass interrupted.

"Well, yes, but surely they know something," Aunt Ro insisted.

Kushiel gently let a little light into the ghost, making sure not to overdo things again. He really hadn't meant to scare Cass—it was the last thing he wanted.

Cass looked at him, like he knew what Kushiel was doing, but Kushiel gave his best innocent look. Cass gave him a stern glance before focusing on the ghost again and sighing.

"Not to be a downer, but a groan is not exactly a fount of information. We aren't sure how much they can communicate," Cass reasoned, and Aunt Ro simply gave a huff in response.

"Well, I can try and communicate with them," Kushiel offered.

"We can all try and communicate with them, but—and this is a big but—you are not to do anything to damage or risk yourself. Are we clear, K? Because I will have Aunt Ro whisk the ghost away so fast you won't even know what's happening if I see you draining yourself again," Cass declared.

Kushiel had to suppress a shudder. It shouldn't be so… attractive that Cass was chastising him.

"Got it, K?" Cass asked again, giving him a sharp look.

"Yes, Cassius. I will not risk myself," Kushiel murmured, and he had to fight off a wildly inappropriate grin. Cass was almost yelling at him and he felt practically giddy.

Kushiel knew he was weird—gray angel with black wings after all—but he'd never enjoyed being yelled at, and he couldn't understand why he felt so pleased.

Not that Cass had really yelled at him. Maybe it was just that Cass was looking out for him? He hadn't had anyone worry about his well-being in… Well, ever, he guessed. He was an angel. He could take care of himself. He was fine and always would be.

Nevertheless, it was heady business to have someone else want to take on that role.

The room suddenly got a little darker, like all the lights had dimmed, and Aunt Ro began speaking in a deep voice.

"Angel or lost soul, whoever you may be, hear us now," Aunt Ro intoned.

"What the hell are you doing?" Cassius asked, flicking his arm up and making the room appear brighter once again. "What have I told you, Aunt Ro, about screwing with the electricity? I am not replacing burst light bulbs again. If you want the brightness turned down I can tell Echo to do it."

She huffed at him and mumbled something under her breath about "ambiance."

"Besides," Cass added, "this isn't a damn seance. You aren't a medium. You're a ghost, for goodness sake." He turned away from his aunt and looked at the ghost, mumbling, "I swear, I ought to earn some wings for having to put up with you lot. Dead people are so dramatic."

Aunt Ro gasped. "How could you accuse that poor ghost of being dramatic, Cassius? Where are your manners?"

"I wasn't accusing them, Aunt, I was accusing you. Now hush before I salt the doorways again," he said, shifting his focus to the ghost.

Kushiel titled his head, asking, "Does salting doorways really work?"

"Not really," Cass admitted. "Aunt Ro is strong enough to deal with salt, plus she can always just pass through the walls. It does annoy her, though, and sometimes she deserves a little annoyance." He gave her a look at that, but she just rolled her eyes at him, obviously not bothered by his threat.

Cass focused his attention on the ghost then. "Someone did this to you," Cass stated.

The ghost groaned, low and mournful.

"Well they understand us, at least," Aunt Ro whispered.

"Was it an angel?" Kushiel asked. He still couldn't fathom that a demon had done it, although Cass's logic was sound in that matter. Kushiel didn't know how an angel would have gotten into Erebus.

The ghost was quiet, and Cass asked, "Was it a demon?"

The ghost groaned again, and Kushiel thought he saw the head nodding.

"There were many of you taken? Were you all taken together?" Cass asked.

The ghost groaned again, and yes, they were definitely nodding.

"Do you know where they are? Can you take us there?" Cass asked, but the ghost was silent.

"Shit," Cass muttered.

"Uuhhd," the ghost muttered.

"Yes, dear, we are all frustrated, but rest assured that we shall figure it out and save your fellow lost souls. And we'll figure out what to do with you, as well," Aunt Ro promised.

"Uhd," the ghost said again. "UHD!"

Aunt Ro looked helplessly at Cass, who was staring intently at the ghost.

Kushiel pushed a little more of his light into the ghost, and Cass shot him a warning look.

"I'm being careful," Kushiel promised, warmed by Cass's concern and amazed that he even saw what Kushiel was doing.

The ghost seemed to get a little less hazy and a bit more clear to Kushiel.

"W-w-w.." the ghost stuttered out.

"Wood!" Aunt Ro shouted, startling everyone.

The ghost definitely nodded their head then.

"Ok," Cass reasoned, "you were in woods? Or near woods?"

The ghost nodded again.

Kushiel looked at Cass, but Cass only shrugged. Perhaps this was not as much of a clue as Kushiel had hoped.

"The problem is that we have tons and tons of forested area around here," Cass explained. "We have little patches of woods throughout the entire town that can't be developed due to open space laws, and then there's a large local park in the vicinity, and there's also a state park not too far in the opposite direction. So unfortunately it doesn't narrow down our focus all that much. But it is a starting point."

"Yes, it gives us someplace to look. Although it doesn't answer who did this either. I cannot fathom why a demon would do such a thing," Kushiel puzzled.

Aunt Ro added, "You also don't know if it's safe. If a demon went to all this trouble, it's most certainly up to something. Whether it's attacking the souls, Kushiel, or the ghost realm, we have to think of it like an attack. We don't know what the end game of this demon is."

Kushiel nodded. "That makes sense. I feel confident that I can handle almost any demon, but that doesn't mean I want to. And I cannot even begin to guess at the motives behind such a thing. I don't have any demon enemies that I'm aware of, and why would anyone attack souls or the ghost realm?"

"And," Aunt Ro added, "the demon obviously knew about the ghost realm, and they aren't supposed to remember us or think about ghosts since we are more of the mortal plane than the afterlife. The very fact that this demon thought to make the lost souls into ghosts is somewhat concerning. They aren't playing by afterlife rules any more, so we really can't make any predictions."

"That's true—ghosts should not have occurred to them. It does make sense about the woods though," Cass said. "The ghosts are obviously being blocked or hidden somehow, and you'd need a lot of energy to do that. Drawing on living things, like trees, would accomplish that, especially if wards are involved." Cass shook his head, adding, "You're right in that we can't begin to guess at motives. It doesn't really make any sense to do this. It doesn't accomplish anything."

Cass was lost in thought, and Kushiel reached out and gently touched his hand. Cass immediately flipped his hand over and grasped Kushiel's hand, and he had to tamp down the fluttery feeling that flowed through his body at the contact.

Kushiel had held the hands of lost souls before, and he'd held hands with those in Limbo who he was working toward redemption with, but he didn't think he'd ever held someone's hand without giving a piece of himself over to them.

It was lovely. Cass's hand was warm and he could feel small calluses on it, probably from the baking he did. Holding hands was such a simple pleasure, and Kushiel couldn't help staring at their intertwined hands.

"Well, I don't know that we'll do anything but go in circles about it now, so perhaps it's best if we table this for now. I'll take the ghost with me and we'll explore a bit, see if anything looks familiar. You two need to eat and rest, and I think we'll all think a bit more clearly once we've had time for things to sink in. Sleep on it, so to speak," Aunt Ro chimed in, and Kushiel looked up to see her smiling at him fondly.

She gave him a little wink, and Kushiel had no idea how to respond to such a thing.

"Alright, off we go," she said, taking the ghost by the hand and leading them away, only they just sort of disappeared instead of walking out.

Kushiel murmured in surprise and looked over at Cass.

Cass was still obviously thinking things through, but he gave a shake of his head, as if to clear his thoughts, and then looked at Kushiel.

"They just… disappeared," Kushiel said.

Cass laughed. "I forget that you aren't used to ghosts. It's amazing you still even remember them, but I suppose we have this to thank for that," Cass said, reaching out with his other hand and running it along the white scarf. "Lilith really did us a favor in the creation of this."

"I don't understand any of this," Kushiel said. "I feel rather stupid, but the universe has an order to it, and whatever is going on does not fit into that order. It isn't the not seeing ghosts thing, either. I suppose if we've never seen them, then that's the way it's supposed to be, and I can see the logic in that. I can't help but want to guide Aunt Ro to heaven—it's clear she's a beautiful soul who belongs there, and I want to see her happy in her afterlife placement. I suppose all demons and angels would try to influence ghosts to get them into the afterlife, so I do understand why we don't, or can't, interact with them."

"Yes. It's in an afterlifer's nature to want things ordered and organized, and ghosts are not either of those things. I'm sometimes amazed Limbo is allowed to exist, because it seems outside the order as well," Cass threw in.

"Limbo does exist inside the order, though. It is a resting place for travelers who are unsure, and it ensures that no one is placed wrong or is unhappy in heaven. That would defeat the purpose. Only having one option would not be satisfactory. It is why reincarnation is also an option, and why ghosthood would be an option, even if we do forget about it. I suppose we don't forget about reincarnation because we know those souls are bound for mortality, so we do not worry about them until they die again." Kushiel paused, then asked, "How do you know so much? Your knowledge is beyond my own in many ways.".

Cass just smiled. "Thousands of years of research passed down through my family. It was like bootcamp. As soon as my family knew I could see ghosts, my path was set. As a kid, my after school activities consisted of studying old journals and diaries from family members, talking to ghosts, and being taught all about this stuff. When I was young and Aunt Ro was still alive she even called in the occasional lesser angel or demon just to let me ask questions. I grew up steeped in this. And if I see more, it's only because I have the benefit of being an outsider looking in, so I have a unique perspective."

"You have great wisdom, Cassius," Kushiel stated.

Cass squeezed his hand, and Kushiel felt a little thrill run through him. He had been wondering if Cass even still realized they were holding hands. The touch was… comforting, but also somehow thrilling.

"You're right that the universe has an order to it," Cass added. "But lately, that order has been upended. Take the whole soulmate thing."

Kushiel could not help his slight flinch, and he knew Cass felt it, but he couldn't explain that he was jealous of those demons who got to have soulmates. Kushiel wasn't proud of his envy.

"Yes, I can see your point," Kushiel admitted. "Soulmates never existed before very, very recently. They would seem to be outside of the order of the universe. They don't make sense."

Cass looked at him oddly, and Kushiel rushed to add, "Not that I do not fully support the demon and human pairings that have occurred. It has done wonders for my demon brethren, and they have renewed excitement for their jobs and their eternal existence."

"Hmm. Maybe that's why there are soulmates, then. Maybe it somehow serves the order of the universe in some way we cannot understand, like bringing renewed joy to those who have soulmates," Cass guessed.

Kushiel nodded. That did make sense. It did not, however, help them find the lost souls. Cass squeezed his hand again, almost as if he could sense where Kushiel's thoughts were going.

"Come on, K. Let's get some food and some rest. Aunt Ro was right on that," Cass admitted, and he got up, pulling Kushiel by the hand and leading him toward the kitchen.

Kushiel was only too happy to follow.