15. Cassius

Cassius gently smoothed Kushiel's dark hair away from his face.

"Will he be alright?" Aunt Ro asked, wringing her hands.

"I think so," Cassius whispered. "He seems brighter again, doesn"t he?"

Aunt Ro hummed in agreement, and Cass continued to gently pet Kushiel's head. His hair was soft and silky, and Kushiel's head was a comforting weight in his lap. He smoothed his other hand down Kushiel's chest, where his light was strongest when Cassius looked for it. He focused in, sharpening his vision, and he watched as one of those tiny gold threads reached up and touched his wrist. He breathed in sharply, and Aunt Ro, who had been pacing, stopped and ran over.

"What is it? Is he alright?" she demanded.

Cass didn't answer; he just watched in awe as the tiny gold thread twined around his wrist. He felt himself tearing up a bit. So his hopes hadn't been unfounded. Kushiel was his mate. That was all this could mean, wasn't it?

Yes, there was only one thread, and Cass knew as soon as he let his focus slip he wouldn't be able to see it anymore, but surely it wouldn't have connected to him if they weren't mates. It was thin and weak, and he worried that any wrong action could snap it, but it was a beginning. It was hope.

He had known how much he felt for Kushiel, and this only made him realize how much he wanted the angel to be his. He could admit now that he loved all that Kushiel was, and maybe he had from that first sight of the angel's blindingly bright soul. The selflessness, the humility, the caring, even the slightly formal awkwardness—Kushiel was perfect. Yes, he was shy and unsure of himself, but Cass would only be too happy to build him up.

"What's the matter? Is he dying?" Aunt Ro shrieked, seeing the tears in Cass's eyes. Kushiel's face winced in pain at the noise.

"Lower your voice, Aunt. He isn't dying. I mean, technically, I don't think he can die? I don't know. But at any rate, he'll be alright. Don't you see it?" he asked her.

"Well, yes, I can see his light. He really is one of the brightest angels I've ever seen, but you know your sight has always been better than mine. You are the most gifted amongst our line in ages, Cass. Perhaps those in charge knew you would need to see more than those who had gone before," she mused.

"I thought we avoided those in charge," Cass responded, still staring down in awe at the gold thread. It seemed that Aunt Ro couldn't see, but he didn't puzzle over that too much. He did have the best sight in generations, but even so, he knew he'd have to stop looking so hard soon, because it was a strain. Still, he couldn't help marveling at the connection between them for a few more moments.

"No, Cassius. We avoid upper management, but they're not actually in charge, although don't tell them that. There are those above them, and I think there's a greater plan at play." She paused, then she murmured, "He did what I think he did, didn't he?"

It was a confusing statement, but Cass knew what she was getting at. "Yes, Aunt. He pushed his light, his very being, into the ghost. He gave a part of himself over to heal the lost soul. I think it's what he always does. I think it's how he rehabilitates souls and enables them to be reincarnated. But I think it's usually a much slower process."

"But, Cassius, it doesn't work that way. Souls don't… refill. It isn't like Kushiel is a cup of water that can be refilled. If he dumps all his water into other souls, he'll be empty," she insisted, taking the metaphor a bit too far.

"I don't know, Aunt. Perhaps his soul is just that bright. Perhaps he has that much to give. Or perhaps he somehow is able to refill the light within his own soul. I couldn't say, but all I know is that he glows just as brightly as he did before, and yet we both saw his light pouring into the ghost."

Cass looked at his aunt then, and she just nodded in response.

"But why is his skin gray and his hair dark? He glows more brightly than other angels, and they don't have those markings. That doesn't seem fair," she muttered.

"I think it's because of his visits to hell. Our surroundings influence us—maybe it's the equivalent to human's getting a tan when they spend a lot of time in the sun. It's just a shame that apparently other angels judge him for it," Cass grumbled. It really did upset him to think about.

"Well those small-minded, idiotic, harp-playing snobs are merely candles to his sunshine. That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard. Are you really telling me he's judged for his appearance?" she huffed.

Cass just shot his aunt a look, and she nodded in response.

"Yes, I suppose that is exactly what would happen," she sighed, sitting down beside them. "Cass, we can't let him be hurt. He would give himself up entirely, and he's too good for such a thing."

Cass smirked at her. "No longer suspicious of him?" he mocked.

She only huffed. They had both seen what he did, after all. They had both seen the ghost take form and shape in front of them, being fed from Kushiel's light. He didn't know how much further Kushiel would have gone, but he could tell it had pained the angel greatly to do what he did.

Cass wouldn't let Kushiel hurt himself. There had to be a better way, and together they would find it. Otherwise Kushiel would drain himself entirely in order to help others.

Cass knew his aunt was right; souls were not like a cup that you could empty and fill, and yet somehow Kushiel's soul had dimmed and then brightened again, like that was exactly what he did. It was like he had an endless well of light somewhere that he could draw from, and yet Cass couldn't imagine how that was possible.

He was also afraid for Kushiel, because if Kushiel emptied himself too quickly, which had clearly been what he was doing here, what would happen? If the metaphorical cup was empty, could it be refilled? Or would it shatter, and Kushiel would be no more?

Cass had no intention of finding out the answer to that question, that was for sure.

Kushiel stirred slightly in his arms, and Cass gently pulled his hand back, making sure the gold thread stayed attached. He let his extra sight go then and simply focused on Kushiel's face, which was creased and confused-looking, but his eyes were fluttering like he was finally waking up.

Kushiel opened his eyes, and Cass smiled lovingly at him. Kushiel's hand reached up and gently touched Cass's face, fingers trailing across his cheek.

"Am I dreaming?" he whispered.

"After the nightmare you put us through, I'd say not. Young man, you simply cannot risk yourself like that again," Aunt Ro lectured.

Kushiel's hand fell away, and he looked over at Aunt Ro, muttering, "Definitely not a dream then. And I haven't been a young man in… well, ever."

"Hmph. Well when you make stupid decisions you might as well be a young man. What did you think you were doing, hmm? You going to waste all your energy on one ghost? How many other ghosts are out there who probably need your help? You can't give everything you have to one ghost. There's too much work to be done. You have to take care of yourself first, Kushiel, and what you did was not taking care of yourself first," she chastised.

Kushiel looked up at Cass then, a tiny frown on his face. "Is she lecturing me?" he asked.

Cass just laughed. "Yes, she certainly is." Cass ran his hand through Kushiel's hair again. Kushiel closed his eyes, obviously enjoying the sensation. Cass let the smile fall from his face, adding, "She is right, though. You gave us quite a start, and it was obviously painful for you. Promise me you won't do that again, K."

Kushiel opened his eyes and saw the serious look on Cass's face, and he seemed immediately contrite. "I'm sorry, Cass. I did not mean to startle you." He looked at Aunt Ro too. "I didn't mean to startle either of you. I probably did push a little too much with that soul, and I do know better. I was just so surprised and angry at what had been done to it. I reacted."

"Well, be sure to make better judgments next time. We can't have you harming yourself," Aunt Ro huffed.

"Yes, Aunt Ro," Kushiel replied, and she smiled brightly at that. Cass realized that Kushiel probably didn't even realize that calling her Aunt Ro would only encourage her matchmaking tendencies.

It was fitting, though. If Cass had his way, she was as good as Kushiel's aunt, too, and he didn't object to any matchmaking she might do now that he knew Kushiel would be his.

Kushiel made to get up, and Cass supported him as he did so. He didn't think Kushiel needed the assistance, but the angel didn't complain and seemed to lean in to Cass a bit. It thrilled Cass that Kushiel seemed to be getting more comfortable with his touch.

"How is the ghost?" Kushiel asked, because of course that's what he was worried about.

Aunt Ro huffed, but she stalked off, Cass assumed to bring the ghost out to see them.

"I really am sorry to have frightened you two," Kushiel murmured, looking over at Cass.

Cass reached up and smoothed Kushiel's hair back again; he simply couldn't help himself. And yes, Kushiel definitely leaned into the touch. It took all of Cass's willpower not to lean in and kiss Kushiel, or to at least envelop him in a hug.

"You did, but it's ok. It's who you are. You're a beautiful, giving angel, Kushiel."

Kushiel turned slightly pink, just like he did every time Cass said something about how wonderful he was.

They looked into each other's eyes, and Cass leaned forward the tiniest bit, and Kushiel leaned forward a bit too, and Cass was just about to close the distance between their lips when he heard Aunt Ro mumbling to the ghost as she traipsed back into the room. Kushiel pulled back and looked down when she entered, smoothing his pants.

"Are we interrupting?" she giggled, and Cass noticed her dress now featured honeysuckle and red roses.

Cass just rolled his eyes. He loved Aunt Ro, really he did, but she was about as subtle as a hammer and had the worst timing ever, and death hadn't improved those traits.