Chapter 3

Cherry Stems Group Chat

HAILEY:Just asking for a friend, how many missed calls from one person in a two-hour timespan is too many?

ELENA:One, they should know to text

ABBY:I’m gonna say two. I can see the first missed call. Calling again doesn’t do anything

AVERY:If it’s an emergency, maybe three? But there should be text messages to go along with it at that point

COLE:Yes! If I don’t answer, send me a text. My phone is always on silent so I don’t hear shit, so 1 missed call is the same as 20. Although 20 is probably a bit much. Obsessive maybe?

HAILEY:Right. Obsessive. Good word

JOSH:What’s the right answer??

AVERY:Do we even dare ask what number you’re thinking about?

HAILEY:Oh, not me. It’s for a friend from work. But, 52

ELENA:Block that number

AVERY:[gif of dog surrounded by fire saying “this is fine”]

COLE:Here’s what you do, I mean, tell your “friend” to do it. You text that person back 52 times and each time is a different card from a deck. So ya know, two of hearts, three of hearts, etc., until they start complaining. Ignore their complaints. Keep texting them. Then, time it so there’s a delivery at their door at the same time you’re sending a joker card. Except, the delivery guy doesn’t have any food. It’s me. I’m the delivery guy. And I punch your boyfriend in the face. I mean, not your boyfriend, the person who called your “friend” 52 times

RILEY:This^

ELENA: Punching will get you arrested for assault. Instead, hire someone to follow them all day with a trumpet and have them play it anytime he tries to speak. Better yet, a full mariachi band. I know a guy.

AVERY:OR your friend could communicate their issues with this person and see if they can see reason and maybe stop the unwanted behavior. Maybe set some boundaries?

COLE:Boring.

HAILEY:I will let you know when I’m ready to resort to violence or mariachi bands. Perhaps a combination mariachi hit squad. Is that a thing? It’s quite a disguise.

HAILEY:I mean, not me. My friend

ABBY:3