Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

C onn asked to move our discussion to my firepit. He spat a small fire into it—something I used to call his ‘demon party trick'—and then threw some calming herbs into the flames. When satisfied with his efforts to season his smoke, Conn inhaled it in deep breaths and exhaled it with satisfaction.

"I wanted to talk to ya alone about Ben's problem."

Conn stopped his version of smoking to answer me. "Rasmus and Zara are the geneticists. They would know the most about his situation."

I waved away his suggestion. "I'm not looking to undo his changes or calculate his future evolution. I have a more basic question, and ya're the expert I need."

"Ask away then," Conn said with a grin.

"Can ya tell if one of yer kind was used to make his beast?"

Conn shrugged in answer. "I think it's a logical assumption given the size and shape of his fangs and claws. Based on his giant size, they either used some royal demon's blood or the largest gorilla on the planet. Lilith and I could possibly determine whose blood was used if he would give us a sample. Does that really matter to you?"

"I'm going with a negative answer about learning the demon source," I said. "What I want to do is to see if ya can command his demon side and maybe use yer kingly powers to help Ben learn to control his beast. Ben called his talisman a crutch the other day, and he was right. Having that beast form is a liability if he fears his creators might have more control over it than he does. He's like a werewolf who refuses to shift and they eventually go mad. It's beyond time for Ben to accept that other side of himself."

Conn crossed his arms as we talked. "Apart from trying to intimidate and show off his strength, what else can Ben do as his beast?"

"I have no idea. And I don't think Ben knows either. I realize training Ben isn't in yer job description, but it's in mine, Conn. And worrying about him is a waste of everyone's time, even his witch-wife's. In between actual jobs, I see no reason we can't do something about the situation."

"What if Ben doesn't want training?"

"Then we'll get the Shadow Breakers to put trackers in him so we can rescue him after he's kidnapped. Because, sure as we're sitting here, that's going to happen. Even Rasmus thinks so and he never criticizes a scientist of any kind."

"Well, what if Ben's wife doesn't like the idea? She seems to have strong opinions about what he does."

I frowned at that because he had a point. "I'm sure Felicity won't like it. If he was my husband, I wouldn't, either. Ben will have to talk her into it if he agrees."

Ben snickered. "Or you will."

My mouth quirked. I had gotten no warm and fuzzy vibes from the Caribbean witch Ben had married. I also wasn't looking forward to having her around if she and Ben said yes to my offer to stay with us. Despite my desire to help them, my already complicated life was challenging enough.

Conn chuckled as he stared at me. "You're wearing your most serious look. The last time I saw it, you were forcing your daughter to go to Ireland."

"Nearly dying changes a person." I chuckled dryly at how morbid I sounded. "Maybe I'm not right in the head, Conn. There are plenty of unknowns in my plan to help Ben. If ya don't want to do it or think it's a bad idea, just tell me. Maybe I'm using him to distract myself from the danger I'm in."

Conn shrugged. "I'm not unwilling to train him. When have I ever turned down a challenge? Look who's sharing my bed these days."

"How are things between the Wu Shaman and ya?"

"Blissful enough, but I think I bore her. Somehow, I thought it would be the other way around when one of us got bored."

I blinked in surprise, and then I laughed. "After all those centuries ya spent pleasuring females, I don't believe that for a hot minute."

"Don't be ridiculous. Everything in bed is fine," Conn said with a glare. "But she's not fine outside of it. I haven't been able to determine what's wrong. She's been in a strange mental space since her family visited."

I snorted. "I hear ya. She got snarky with me the other day. When I asked what her problem was, Mulan said she was restless and told me to ignore her. Maybe she's working through some lingering issues."

Conn nodded. "I'm trying not to be a clueless male, but I feel like one."

"Ya get points from me for trying. I'm sure Mulan appreciates yer worry as well. The Wu Shaman is not what anyone would call a peaceful soul, even on her best days."

"It seems Rasmus is more in touch with you lately. I've envied his easiness with you."

I lifted a shoulder and let it fall. "I admit the guardian is putting a lot of effort into not being clueless. That's why he spilled his guts to all of ya at the meeting. Plus, I'm sure he feels safer confronting me in front of a crowd."

Conn chuckled low, and I grinned in appreciation. "I could tell that from the alarm in his expression. What surprises me is that you allow Rasmus to keep the illusion that you're okay with the things he says and does."

My right shoulder lifted and fell. "Accepting he's well-intentioned saves me having to rant about his thoughtlessness later. Since ya all hear things when I do, ya know what I'm dealing with."

"Tell me the truth, Aran. Are you worried about Fiona? Because I can track the angel down and see what's going on."

"Yes, but it's not her physical safety that worries me. I'm worried about her lack of a love life and how vulnerable she might be to the angel's attention. Ya didn't interact with him, Conn. I did. He's a very alluring male."

"Yes, but he's not Jack. And Fiona is not you. Your child deserves to live her life and make her own mistakes just like you did. Isn't this what you claim to want for her?"

I sighed heavily. "Yes. Ya know me too well."

Conn lifted a hand. "Oh, I'm worried about her too, but for different reasons. What happens if Fiona gets in a snit with him and refuses to train? You do realize that's as much of a possibility as her sleeping with him. Imagine the drama and what he'll have to do to convince her."

I laughed at the idea of Fiona refusing to do as she was told. Maybe the angel and I could compare stories one day.

"I'd pay good money to be there when she tells him no. Fiona was fussing at him the day he saved us. He froze her to shut her up. I admit I was a bit envious of that particular talent. And the funniest part is Fiona knew when it happened to her. She demanded I confirm it after he released her. Goddess, I don't envy him. Jack fostered that entitlement attitude of hers."

Conn's mouth twitched. "Sure. Her natural arrogance has to come from Jack. You weren't like that at all."

"No," I said with a laugh, not appreciating his insinuation. "I wasn't like her because Da would have beat it out of me with hard work. He made sure I understood that magick wasn't a ticket to a peaceful life nor a path to easy wealth."

"I think your parents are why you were such a wonderful mother. If Mulan and I have children, will you help us raise them?"

I stopped fidgeting to swallow the suddenly large lump in my throat. "I will be the best witch auntie any magickal child has ever seen." I studied the longing in his eyes. "Do ya seriously want children with the Wu Shaman? They'll be tiny tyrants, Conn. She comes from a tradition that allowed emperors."

Conn sighed loudly. "I keep dreaming of her being pregnant. That's never happened to me before. I had children when I was young but I never dreamed of them. I was expected to procreate, and so I did. And then I watched them die because they were rebellious like their mothers. That's not normal parenting."

"Well, ya're older now and more settled. Does Mulan want children too? The woman is over fifty, Conn. That's pretty old to become a mother."

He waved away her age. "Her fifty is like a normal human thirty. As a Wu Shaman, she'll live to be well over a hundred and seventy. She said a very long life was a side effect of Wu Shaman magick. After what she did to her brother-in-law, she's been vibrating with all kinds of energy. I have trouble keeping my hands off her."

I pointed a finger at him. "That revelation, my friend, is in the TMI category. Please keep yer lusty thoughts about the Wu Shaman to yerself."

Conn rolled his eyes. "It's not like I'm offering to give Rasmus lessons."

My grin was wide. "Well, see that ya don't. And I don't need to hear about how well ya're treating my best friend. If Mulan is ever not happy with ya, I'm sure she'll tell me. Outside of her occasional brooding, she's mostly an open book."

He pointed a finger back at me. "Ha! So you finally admit she's your friend."

I gave him a withering look. "I went to a temple to look for her. Ya know how I hate those places. They make me want to run naked through them while shouting obscenities. Ya're both lucky I could fight those urges to do what was right. And worst of all, I went there to ask her about yer love life . It was all kinds of awful to have to listen to her tell me how amazing ya were between the sheets."

Conn's happy male laughter rang out through the trees. A smile lit my face. Goddess, I didn't care about keeping our contract as much as I cared about keeping Conn in my life. I was a blessed woman and a lucky, lucky witch.

"I'm really glad I didn't die the other day, Conn. The Dagda stone did me a solid saving my life."

"I'm glad too," Conn said. "But I still don't trust that artifact. Not all of The Dagda's ideas were good ones, Aran. He made mistakes too."

"If I'd been him, I would have spared their lives as well. One of The Three can be a bastard at times, but he's saved me twice now."

"Perhaps that's a truth I'm still struggling with. Saving you was always my job. I might be a little jealous of the beings in the stone."

"Well, as often as I face death, I need all the saviors I can get."

"Which probably explains why you let the guardian keep hanging around."

"Probably," I said with a giggle. "Rasmus makes me suffer as often as he saves me. With him, it's always a guess about whether he has my back or his brethren's. I tell myself it's not a big deal with him because I count more on you and the Dagda stone. I could have died from sheer shock when Rasmus chased after the bowman who shot me."

"Yes. That surprised me as well. Usually, he opts to stay with you," Conn said.

I snorted. "That's not what I mean. He chased the bad guy down and smoothed things over. Not a single person was harmed in the process other than me. What would Rasmus have done if I'd died while he was gone? Would he have punished them then?"

"He's a dangerous and powerful being, Aran. It is a good thing he's reluctant to use his power to punish. It took me centuries to learn his level of control."

"Yeah, I suppose ya have a point," I said begrudgingly, not liking the reluctance in my voice.

"Do you need him to kill your enemies to prove his love?" Conn asked.

Did I? That was an intriguing question. I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer, so I shrugged.

Conn continued with his argument. "Rasmus is a pacifist. Sure, his kind will carry out a planned apocalypse to correct a planetary-wide mistake, but killing an individual is not their default setting. Their neutrality results from spending eons watching humans struggle to control themselves. Even knowing humans incarnate again and again, the guardians spare people whenever they can. That's a positive, Aran."

I glared at Conn. "Ya're making me feel guilty about my bloodthirsty tendencies."

"That's not my intention. I simply think you need to let your eagle be an eagle. Stop trying to turn him into your parrot. The guardian will never think the same as you. Why do you think they erase their memories to spend time here? Being involved with a full guardian will always send you to me, Mulan, and others for help in taking out those you want to kill. But that doesn't mean you can't still enjoy Rasmus being in your life. He's already said he wouldn't stop you from doing what you felt was right. That is undoubtedly the highest concession he can give you."

"When did you start being the guardian's biggest fan?"

Conn held her gaze. "When he flew after the bowman. He trusted me to take care of you and went to make sure it never happened again. That wasn't neutral of him. And he did the best he could to protect you. I completely understand the difficulty of his decision. If I didn't, I would have quietly murdered Jack when he left you and Fiona two weeks after she was born. You would have gotten over him, and Fiona would never have known him. I still think not killing him was one of my biggest mistakes. I could have you so much hurt."

I blinked at Conn. "But I loved Jack back then."

Conn smirked a little. "Yes. You did. But I always knew Jack was a proper bastard. Sometimes, in life, there is no good decision to make. There is just a decision you're willing to live with. Rasmus has those moments as well. He doesn't exist just to make you angry."

Conn's lecture about Rasmus hurt my head but also resonated as the truth. I suppose that was why all I could do was nod.