Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

B en swiped a hand over his face. "This is history repeating itself in some alternate universe way. Are you sure this is Ezra's sister?"

"No," I said honestly. "But that's what she told me just before she called him by name. She said her brother wanted her to offer me a proper goodbye before I died. "

"And you say it was the Wu Shaman who froze her like this?"

"Yes, but Mulan doesn't know how she did it. The last time I saw her, she was glaring at her shaman staff for freezing the female fairy without telling her how to repeat the process."

Ben reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of gum. He held the pack out to me, offering a piece.

I smiled and shook my head. "No, thanks."

"I'm a reformed smoker," Ben said in explanation as he put a small stick of cinnamon gum into his mouth. "I use gum to handle my anxiety. Chewing gum keeps me from buying a pack of cigarettes and lighting up. I've chewed a hell of a lot of gum since I met you, Aran O'Malley."

I grinned at Ben's confession. It was probably wrong of me to be proud of causing him so much mental and emotional distress.

"Don't be blaming me for yer nasty habits, Colonel Benson. I'm too busy fighting off assassins to cause ya any real anxiety problems. I only called ya here because the attack on me in my home is a professional problem as much as it is a personal one."

"I'm afraid to ask why," Ben said.

The sigh following his statement was as loud as his chewing noise. I blew out a breath and tried not to cringe at the sounds he was making. Then I imagined him chewing gum in his fanged gorilla form and had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing at the image in my head.

The whole dying and almost dying thing must be messing with me more than I realized. My imagination kept running wild.

When Ben's chewing quieted, he spoke again. "What can I do to help?"

I hung my head for a moment. I knew what we should do. I just didn't want to do it. I preferred to work out problems on my own, but I had far more people in my life now. When it had just been Conn and me, I felt less concerned about the risks.

The official solution would be a problem for Ben in paperwork and a problem for me in having to cooperate. And the outcome of the effort was unpredictable outside of being able to keep walking around and breathing.

I snapped out of my thoughts and saw that Ben was studying me hard.

He pointed at my face. "That resigned look of yours is making me very nervous."

I didn't contradict him. I explained it instead. "Remember when I told ya some Shadow Breakers on the payroll worked outside the rules the rest of us follow?"

"Yes, I recall you mentioning something about them, but I didn't catch the details."

I laughed. "Because I didn't tell ya any details, Ben. No one finds out details until the enforcers get involved. Enforcers tend to burn out quickly and retire early, so new ones get recruited every few years. We only find out their identities on a need-to-know basis. If we call them to help, we might regret finding out who they are and not like what they decide to do."

"Where are you going with this warning?"

"I need to find out if there's a contract on me for security reasons. If there is a contract on me, ya will need to keep yer distance and put everyone who knows me on alert to do the same. Hired assassins often will kill innocents to rattle their actual target. No one who knows me will be safe."

"Do you think the bowman who shot you was a hired assassin? I thought we agreed he was one of the man-made guardians."

"He was one of them, and Rasmus converted him back. But how did he find out where I lived? I haven't been here very long. That was not an accident. Neither is she," I said, pointing to the statue of Ezra's wicked sibling.

Ben rubbed his jaw. "Would he materially gain from your death? Getting revenge doesn't seem that worthy of a goal. Ezra wants your power, but that's all we can be sure of at this moment."

I shook my head. "Has Ezra been sent home yet?"

Sighing, Ben looked away. "No. He's still in custody because his family refuses to take him. I still don't know why.

"Since he's still here and no longer frozen, I think we need to assume Ezra is the primary suspect for creating the contract. The fairy hates me for ruining his plans. He possesses the necessary tools and the money and has reasons to want me dead. Ezra knows where I live because he visited here while ya were gone. The fairy excels at chaos and misdirection. He also knows how to get things done, or he would never have advanced so far in the organization."

"I know he hates you for taking away his power. He tells everyone who will listen."

"I only took away what he stole. Sure, Ezra lost the power from Dylan's stone and whatever else the angel took from him at the end of the fight with Hisser. But the fairy kept most of what he'd collected over the years. It's not like he was going home completely empty-handed."

"Didn't you take more of his power away the last time you fought him?"

I sighed and shrugged. "I'm not sure what I did to him then. Things about that fight are still a bit fuzzy. My focus was on Mulan's brother-in-law."

"I have it on good authority that the fairy's power is only about a quarter of what it takes for him to return to his homeland."

I swore under my breath. "That might explain why he put a bounty on my head. He hopes taking the stone from me will make up for all he lost."

"We don't know if there is a contract or that Ezra is behind the attempts on your life. There's no reason to borrow trouble until we know who's creating it."

Shaking my head, I paced away to chastise myself in peace. After I stole Tony's angel power from the frozen Ezra statue, I had to once again stop the unfrozen fairy from killing me. Which I did on my own with no angel help. If I had taken Ezra's power, where had it gone?

I remembered feeling giddy and strong after we put Ezra in a cage. But I did not remember his power mixing with my own outside of some initial rush. The beings in the stone should have told me because they would have felt it as well.

My chest buzzed before the thoughts left my mind. I put a hand over where the stone lay inside my chest.

We took it , a now familiar voice announced in my head.

I groaned at the news and hung my head.

"Aran? Are you okay?" Ben asked in a concerned tone.

I half-turned and nodded to him as I held up a hand to keep him from asking more questions.

Why did ya take it?

My chest buzzed again. Power should never be wasted.

I rolled my eyes. That is not an answer to my question. Tell me, One of the Three. I want to know what ya did and why ya did it.

Taking the fairy's power was the only way you could have stopped the fairy from killing you to get to us. You made the only decision you could. There is no reason to doubt your motives.

That's still not an answer. Try again, I ordered .

It was helpful for all of us to receive it.

It was like arguing a point with Rasmus when he had nothing in his own experience that allowed him to understand the debate from my point of view. The irony was nearly too much to accept.

I lifted my chin as if the being I argued with could see me. Can the power be returned to me? Or to the original fairy thief?

No. I gave it to my helpers because they needed it. No one got harmed by its use, and two beings were made better.

The reality of what One of The Three was doing suddenly popped into my mind. My merger with the beings in the stone must work both ways because I could see his end goal as clearly as if I'd thought up the plan myself. Ya're planning to wake them up. Ya're planning to feed them enough power to join ya for real.

When One of The Three remained silent, I slapped my chest until it buzzed in reply. I yelled my response aloud. "Ya don't have to confess because I know I'm right, ya idiot. Ya can't lie to me any more than I can lie to the likes of ya. I can see what ya want to happen."

Ben's eyes widened at my sudden outburst. I looked at Ben and winced. "Sorry to involve ya, Ben. I'm so angry at the beings in the stone that I forgot to think the words rather than speak them aloud."

Ben chewed his gum even harder. The smell of cinnamon filled the air. "Do the voices in your head have full conversations with you? I'm happy to hear you get angry when they talk to you, but perhaps you should see a therapist about getting them to leave you alone."

I gave him the look I gave Rasmus when the guardian didn't understand my life. "I'm speaking to the beings inhabiting the stone I put inside my chest. What I most need is to talk to The Dagda, but my mentoring ancestor is choosing not to make himself available at the moment."

Ben stopped chewing and froze. "What are you arguing with the gods about this time?"

I rolled my eyes. "The voice I'm hearing isn't that of a god, Ben. The being I'm talking to is one of three ancient mages that my god ancestor trapped inside my version of yer magick charm. He's not some disembodied spirit ordering me to murder people. He's a trapped soul who remembers what being a human is like."

"Right. And it's not like you need any encouragement to kill people. Your invisible helper probably understands that too, right?"

I glared at my boss. "Was that yer idea of a joke?"

Ben blinked in surprise and took a step back. "No. Did you think it was funny?"

Rolling my eyes again would serve no purpose, so I fought the urge. "Ya were right about me draining Ezra's power. The mage who talks to me in my head took it and used it for something, which is why I don't feel that extra magick inside me."

"That explains nothing useful."

I waved my hand, trying to wave away his confusion. "The bottom line is that yer source is likely right about Ezra's lack of power. And that's probably why his fairy family won't let him return. I didn't leave Ezra is a good place."

"So what do we do?" Ben asked.

"I don't know yet. Killing the fairy is getting more and more appealing. Assassins might stop coming after me if they realize they will never get paid."

"Can we give him his power back and just send him home?"

That certainly would be the most peaceful option. It was hard for me to consider showing Ezra more mercy when he kept showing me none. I rubbed my forehead and groaned in frustration.

"Until Rasmus, every man I let into my life wanted my power. Ya'd think at some point I'd be able to forget those men and put the past truly behind me. None of this current mess would be happening if I'd just killed Ezra when I had the right to do so. Damn Tony for stopping me. This is all his fault."

"Did you just blaspheme your daughter's angel?" Ben asked.

"Yes, because I'm tired of blaming myself. Do ya fear his wrath?"

"No. I thought you said the angel saved you."

"He did, but now I know the beings in the Dagda stone would have brought me back to life. Ezra and I were in a duel to the death. I might have died temporarily, but he would have died permanently. And she ," I said, pointing to the alleged sister, "might not be trying to kill me now because her brother brought shame to his family. Instead, my mercy has allowed him to play the victim."

Ben shook his head in disgust. "You're going to need a vacation to get over your vacation."

I was, and he didn't need to keep pointing it out. I felt wimpy enough.

"Call the Shadow Breakers, Ben. Ask them to assign an enforcer to my case so they can find out officially if there is a contract on me. If there is, I'll work with the enforcer to end this. Once that person arrives, I suggest ya stay out of it. Ya won't like their methods of taking care of things."

"What are you planning to do with Ezra's fairy sister?"

"I'm going to use her as a bargaining chip. Or kill her if she tries to kill me again."

And if I was in a vengeful mood, I'd drain her power and give it to One of The Three so he could restore the other two mages.

Then I'd have three beings to deal with instead of one, but also three times the backup.

Conn came through the front door, frowning. I hoped he and Mulan weren't fighting. His glare turned to land on me, and I nearly sighed.

"We're doing a security meeting in the blue house in an hour," he said. Then he switched his glare to Ben. "You're welcome to stay, but there may be yelling. Are you and your witch wife moving in?"

"I haven't convinced her. She's put some serious wards around our house."

"Fine," Conn said, not sounding fine at all.

Ben blinked and stepped away. "I'd stay for the meeting, but I have some important calls to make. If there's anything I can do to help you feel more safe, Aran, just text me. Consider yourself on permanent leave until the Ezra issue is resolved. Man- made guardians are easier to fight than evil fairies with revenge motives."

I didn't disagree with that statement. Since Conn didn't correct Ben, I didn't argue either.

I knew being put on leave was necessary, but my ego stung from it anyway. It felt like I was being imprisoned in my house for both dying and not dying.

Ben left pretty quickly when I stopped commenting. I ignored a seething Conn and stood watching my boss until he exited. My fellow Shadow Breakers had equipped a windowless van once used to collect trolls with at least six gunmen and a couple of guards who doubled as drivers.

I'd seen it when Ben arrived. Henry had someone watching the van to make sure Ben's people never got out.

The massive house was being turned into a fortress. All we lacked was a moat full of magickal alligators to scare future visitors.

I rubbed my forehead. I also must have sighed because a growling Conn pulled me into his arms. The whine slipped out during the hug. "I miss the times when all we had to do was fight demons."

"We will find out who is after you and kill them so they can never succeed."

I nodded against his chest and pulled back to look into his angry eyes. "Don't let this cause problems for Mulan and ya. My guilt is big enough already. I'm sorry I had to call ya away from her last night."

"Why did you not call a sword when you first saw her?"

I pulled out of his arms and walked away from him. "Because I thought I was overreacting. This is my home. I felt no bad vibes from her and felt mostly safe."

"That's not like you," Conn said.

I blew out a breath. "Fine. I had sex brain, okay? I was humming because of my happy hormones and had gone to get a book to read."

"You should feel safe in those circumstances," Conn said.

I walked back and patted his cheek. He was unshaven and looked ready to explode. "Ezra fooled me for years."

"He fooled me as well. I thought he wanted you more than he wanted to fulfill his fairy obligations. I could feel his high level of lust whenever he was near you. It never went away."

"As egotistical as it sounds, I must have believed a little of that myself because not for one moment would I have believed he would try to kill me for my power. Ezra came at me with an energy sword before I believed."

"It's the stone that draws the power hungry to you," Conn said, tapping my chest. "Its power pulses in your aura. You can't hide it from anyone with eyes to see. When worn like an amulet, the stone never radiated its power until one of your predecessors activated it with their magick. Residing inside you as it does now, it stays activated."

I frowned at my idiocy. "Zenos offered to make me a charm to hide it. I was irritated with him at the time and turned him down. I may have to humble myself and ask for his help."

"You were right to be irritated because the dragon was yet another annoying male who lusted for you. You don't like men who chase you that hard. You like them to offer themselves and wait for you to decide if you want them or not. The fairy figured that out. So did the guardian. Jack and Zenos are the kind of males who refuse to learn the truth of any female."

I walked back to Conn, put my arms around his waist, and hugged him tight. "It is nice to be so understood."

Conn hugged me back. "You're going to investigate Henry's guests from now on."

I sighed against him. "Yes, I am. I'm thinking of asking Dylan to do it."

"I approve," Conn said. "See how painless that was? That's one less worry. What are you making Ben do to help?"

I pulled away and sighed again. "I told him to report this to the Shadow Breakers and get them to assign an enforcer to the case."

"Because now you're willing to kill the fairy."

"Yes—even though Murray begged me not to."

"Why would he do that?" Conn asked.

"Murray wouldn't tell me. I warned him if it came down to a fight to the death, that I wouldn't be the one dying."

"I'll try to find out. Murray can be closed-lipped about his people."

"Ezra had my friendship, and it meant nothing. His actions are what made me his enemy. Now, let's talk of something better. Answer my earlier question."

Conn stared at me. "What question?"

"Are the Wu Shaman and ya okay? She was wearing yer clothes last time I saw her and heading to take a cold shower. It's none of my business but I've been fretting about it anyway. I hope ya both know that I would never call ya for less than a life or death situation."

Conn narrowed his gaze on me and chuckled dryly. "Rasmus got hurt but never died. Did you die another time without telling me?"

"I would have died if Rasmus hadn't intervened. It went against his nature to interfere with the female fairy's intentions, but he did it to save me."

Conn snorted. "That doesn't surprise me. He's not as neutral as he seems, especially if it concerns you."

"So I've learned. I have a new appreciation for him because of it. And ya still never answered my question about Mulan and ya."

Instead of telling me what I wanted to know, Conn walked to me, kissed my forehead, and then turned to leave. "Thank you for caring," he tossed over his shoulder. "Find your guardians and bring them to the meeting when you come. Don't be late. I have something important to do later. I want to get things worked out so I'm not distracted by a fear of you dying."

"I love ya too, Conn. Rest easy. I don't plan on dying any time soon." I smiled at his back when he stopped walking.

He turned around and smiled back at me. "Mulan is still freaked out that she froze your fairy assassin. She's enraged that the staff won't tell her how it worked. When I last saw her, she was muttering to her staff in Chinese. Then she got so angry at it that she locked the staff in the darkest closet in the house."

I remembered her threat of abandoning her staff and making herself a new one. A grin spread across my face because one thing I loved about the Wu Shaman was that her word was golden. If she said something aloud, she meant it.

"I'll see ya in an hour, Conn."

He threw me a wave before he turned and went out the door.

I turned and stared at the statue of Ezra's sister. Even though Rasmus had changed my fate, I could still feel the fairy's dagger sliding into my stomach. Memories of that pain haunted me still, as did the feeling of my life fading away.

Fearing yer death sharpened yer senses. Dying took yer senses from ya. Worrying that it might happen again had yet to leave my thoughts. But worry was a distraction. Just the worry alone could be the ultimate death of me before I'd lose my focus.

I couldn't let fear gain any more ground. I needed to accept Rasmus's intervention as the reality of the altercation and let go of my scary memories. I was alive, and so was the guardian who broke the rules for me.

That was all that mattered for now.