Chapter 1

Chapter One

S omething about Ben's text messages nagged at me. All the magick I'd spent on Mulan's brother-in-law had slowed my thinking, so I was strictly a creature of instinct at the moment.

It had taken me an hour to read through them all twice. All I got for my trouble was more confusion. Ben wasn't answering my calls or returning them. The messages he'd sent hours ago hinted at something rather than saying straight out what was wrong.

Did he expect me to read his mind? I didn't know him that well yet.

In the few months we'd worked together, I'd learned Ben was paranoid and that his favorite word was discreet . Surely, he knew by now that I wasn't good at guessing games. Secrets forced direct people like me to play them, but my brain resisted.

After Jack's betrayal, I feared being too gullible. I balanced that fear by becoming more confrontational. On the bright side, explosive yelling when I got angry made me a little less prone to using actual violence to communicate a point of contention.

A god and a demon had trained me. By the time I drew my sword on a person, I'd already decided how best to remove their head.

What did I know about Ben anyway? I mean, really know.

Certainly, I knew nothing personal. I didn't even know enough to trust this wasn't some sort of practical joke. Setting up a bogus gorilla hunt might be his idea of an impromptu training exercise.

And that brought up other questions. Did Ben expect me to figure everything out and then chase down the gorilla creature? Maybe I was supposed to call his bluff and deem the search a waste of time before I began it.

Maybe this was Ben's way of giving me a hard time for taking time off from work. Perhaps he was entertaining himself.

Goddess knew, my brain was too tired to develop a concrete theory about Ben's motivations. Unfortunately, I'd have to go check things out or I wouldn't be able to sleep.

After today, Mulan and I should have made an early night of it. We'd both spent all we had. Instead of sleeping, though, I would be doing a cloak-and-dagger favor because Ben's text messages were so angst-ridden. That was my life.

So Dylan and I snuck out, telling no one, especially the two guardians sleeping on the third floor of my home. I left Henry with orders to tell Rasmus and Zara we left on a work emergency but asked him not to volunteer details.

I didn't want the guardians plotting in my absence or coming after us. Mulan said she would summon Conn back to her before joining our search.

After what I'd seen her do to her demonic jiangshi brother-in-law, Conn should fear her more. Casting out demons for a living had been no joke for the Wu Shaman. Convincing that woman to leave her hair business and join my team had been a brilliant move.

At the moment, though, only two of my group traipsed through the park.

In his tall human form, Dylan strode several long strides ahead of me. Tracking a gorilla was a thrilling adventure for him. For me, tracking down a talking animal was like Ben assigning me to track down a troll.

Or maybe I was simply tired. My alleged vacation hadn't been very restful.

The far darrig I'd grown too fond of halted at a serene sanctuary where the overwhelming stillness of the trees replaced the traffic sounds. When he glanced back at me, his eyebrows shot up in surprise, possibly because he hadn't realized how far behind I was.

What could I say? I was too tired to rush tonight. Ben was lucky I hadn't pushed this wild gorilla chase off until tomorrow morning.

I smiled at Dylan and tried to be a better companion. "Have you ever wondered how secluded places like this manage to exist in the middle of a bustling city like Salem?"

Dylan didn't make a big deal out of my sluggishness. That was a smart move for him because I was still feeling testy about having to come out here.

"Conservation is a biological urge," he said. "Most creatures on this planet naturally want to protect the land they rely on. When humans follow those urges without resistance, they do things to save places like this."

I shrugged. If the far darrig was trying to tell me something, my brain wasn't receiving the message. My gaze took in the forest and the quiet. "Do ya have the stone with ya, Dylan?"

Dillion walked backward as we talked. "I carry the stone with me all the time. I hide it in a portable pocket dimension to protect it. I considered turning it into jewelry, but it's too big to wear."

I nodded in agreement. His artifact was a good handful of rock to pack around. Using magic to protect it was the better idea. "Good. Ya might have to interpret a bunch of grunts and grumbles."

"Most people believe gorillas cannot speak in the same way as humans, although some speculate that gorillas can gain the skill when taught."

"Didn't they make a bunch of movies about talking gorillas?"

"Those movies were fiction, not fact, Aran." Dylan rolled his eyes and pivoted to face forward again.

He'd gone another ten steps when something fluttered out of the trees to the ground. It landed between him and me.

Dylan turned and watched as I stooped to retrieve it. I let my energy sword go as I swiped it up. When I shook the fabric out, I saw it was an adult man's t-shirt.

Dylan walked to me and sniffed it. "I smell Ben on the shirt. Do you think the gorilla got him?"

"I'm safe. The gorilla didn't get me," Ben's voice reassured us from the trees.

"Where are ya, Ben?" I looked up at the trees as I asked my questions. "Are ya hiding up there?"

"Yes. I'm hiding because I broke my charm."

"Charm? What charm?" I asked as my gaze searched the leaves. He was superb at hiding because I couldn't see Ben at all.

"I told you to come alone, Aran. Is this how you follow orders?"

"Ya didn't say to come alone. Ya told me to be discreet, which I know is one of yer favorite orders to give. Dylan is the only one with me. Mulan will be here soon, though, and she's bringing Conn with her. If ya want to keep a secret from all of us, ya shouldn't have sounded so desperate in yer texts."

A round of swearing filtered down around me. It was like the trees both amplified and constrained his voice. It was the strangest thing.

"This wasn't how I meant to tell you this, and I certainly didn't intend to announce it to the world."

I looked at Dylan. He looked as confused as I felt.

I moved my gaze back to the leaves above my head. "Ya're worrying for no reason, Ben. There are a lot more than three or four people in the world."

Another round of swearing fell on Dylan and me. Finally, Ben heaved a sigh. "You're a smart ass, Aran O'Malley."

My grin at his complaint was wide. "I've been called much worse."

Then, for some strange reason, I laughed. "If ya knew what Mulan and I did today, ya'd know why I'm so mouthy. Yer timing couldn't have been worse. I'm dead tired and should be in bed recuperating."

"Well, it wasn't like I planned what happened. Some jackass ripped the leather holding my charm and took off with it. He was wearing a mask, and I couldn't see his face. I followed him but lost his scent in the park."

"Did ya just say ya followed his scent?"

"Yeah. I might as well get this over with. Brace yourselves," Ben ordered.

A twelve-foot monster dropped from the trees and landed several feet in front of us. The energy sword was in my hand before I could question the action of calling it.

The monster straightened and glared at both Dylan and me. Its gaze went to the sword and it grunted.

"And this is precisely why I never told you," the monster said in Ben's voice. "After watching you chop pieces off your ex-husband's monster form, I figured you'd swing your sword first and ask questions later. I'm fond of my head and want to keep it."

I let the energy sword fade away. "By the Goddess, Ben. What happened to ya?"

"Long before the military captured a guardian, they were playing with genetic alterations."

I blinked at him. "So this is why ya were so sure nothing we did would stop them from experimenting."

I watched as the monster's gigantic head nodded. Ben's shifted form was a frighting sight to behold, but he seemed to be the same old Ben when he communicated.

"You already know a little of my story. I was exposed to a biological weapon that was killing me. Whether that weapon was the result of an enemy or our own scientists, I couldn't say. Of my entire team, I'm the only one who survived what happened to us. But as you can see, I paid an enormous price for my survival."

"Ya hid yer secret well, Ben. I assume the Shadow Breakers know."

"It was Ezra who tracked me down and talked me into sharing the truth. That was two years ago and before I met you. I'd been talking to them for quite a while. The job offer wasn't really a surprise. It was mostly them wearing me down."

"They have seers on staff. Ya can't hide much from the organization. If the Shadow Breakers were looking for someone in this country with paranormal skills, they wouldn't have stopped until they found one."

"After this happened, I took a long military leave and met my witch wife. She crafted a charm—a talisman—with strong enough magic to keep me from changing into this creature. The military has never seen me like this. As far as my military superiors ever knew, I showed some signs of changing forms, but then it all failed. They certainly never knew I found a way to suppress it. I partially retired and became a military contractor. The rest, you know. I temporarily got pulled back into the mess when they captured Rasmus. That's why my name was on his hospital discharge papers. They needed someone who knew what they were doing and wouldn't tell."

Dylan watched Ben in silence. I swallowed hard and tried my best to see the real Ben in the monster his military had turned him into. "Do ya realize ya have pointed teeth and claws? I guess ya look like a gorilla, but ya also resemble Conn in his demon form."

"They probably used demon blood to make me. I didn't know demons existed back then. After what they did to people mixing guardian and demon blood, it's fairly certain they used demon blood as the catalyst for my changes."

"How long do ya stay in yer monster form without changing back?"

"At least three days. Sometimes it lasts a whole week. And shifting back hurts like hell. The last time I shifted, I couldn't speak in this form. I could only grunt. I never know what will happen when I change. It's one of the main reasons I don't like to do it."

I rubbed my eyes. It was so hard to think. "Can ya shrink yerself a bit? Ya're too big to fit into one of the cottages. Or into my car. I'm unsure how we can get yer monster-sized self out of here."

"After dark, I can travel mostly unseen. Or you could order an apprehension van. I'd do it myself, but the claws won't let me use my phone. My clothes are history. When I realized Felicity's charm had been snapped off my neck, I ran here to hide. It was the closest park to a forest. Most of the change hit me after I got here. I haven't been in this form in years. It must have further developed even though I suppressed it. My fangs and claws are much longer."

Dylan shook his head. "Suppression will never be the right answer for you. You need to embrace your beast side and learn to control it."

I blinked at Dylan's statement. "Are ya sure that's the answer?"

Dylan nodded as he looked at me. "Colonel Benson has a similar problem to what the demon wolves are experiencing. Theirs may also be a matter of control. Ben knows his original form. He's shifted back and forth before. That gives him an advantage they don't have."

The gorilla monster shrugged. "I sure don't feel like I have an advantage."

"We'll worry about ya shifting back tomorrow. Right now, I want to get you out of the public eye," I said as I paced. "There's a grove of trees surrounding my firepit and greenhouse. Maybe we could build ya a shelter in the trees there."

"I don't need shelter, but I do need trees." Ben's frustrated sigh whistled through a mouth of fangs. "The thief didn't do this randomly. He went straight for the strip of leather holding my charm. Someone got ordered to yank my chain. What if whoever sent that person finds out about the Shadow Breakers?"

There was no reason not to tell him the truth. However, it surprised me he didn't already know it.

"Someone from the main office in Ireland would be dispatched to neutralize the situation. There are several teams trained to do precisely that kind of work. No one holds them accountable for the measures they take. They function outside normal Shadow Breaker rules."

Ben covered his eyes with both of his clawed gorilla hands. He looked like he was wearing a deformed Big Foot costume. His true personality was at stark odds with his six-inch fangs and eight-inch claws.

I ducked my head to hide my smile, but he caught me. Ben grunted again. "I should have known you'd find this amusing. It wouldn't be so funny if you were the one turning into a monster."

"That will never happen because I'm monster-proof," I said with a grin. "The Dagda's bloodline is too strong to be tampered with. I'm glad ya didn't turn into a power-hungry monster like Jack did. I can handle ya like this. Ya're scary but reasonable."

"I've never fought in this form or tried to live in it. The only thing I'm sure about is that I prefer staying close to trees. It's an obsession I can't seem to fight. I want to be up high above things."

I blew out a breath. "Well, ya for sure can't run around Salem looking the way ya do. Do ya think ya can make yer way to my house?"

"Maybe I can hitch a ride on some big truck. I can run pretty fast in this form."

I snapped my fingers. "Or ya could lay across the roof of my car and I could put a cloaking spell on ya."

Ben's clawed hands fell to his sides. "You must be joking."

I wasn't, but his shock had me chuckling. "Why wouldn't it work, Ben? My magic can hide ya. Dylan can drive us. All ya have to do is hang on tight. We could leave the windows rolled down a bit so ya can get a good grip with yer claws."

Ben's grunt bounced off the trees. "You need to buy a truck or a van."

I bit the inside of my jaw to keep from laughing. "I agree that it's starting to look like that might be a good idea. I'll give buying a bigger vehicle some thought."

We waited until dark to leave the park. Ben clung to my compact car with his claws, his giant gorilla-monster frame draped over the top. His feet protruded slightly beyond the hatch, but most of his large body sprawled over the car. The old tires squashed under his added weight, but thankfully none went flat.

I remained convinced this would work.

Dylan drove us all home and kept the speed under fifty. I hummed as the traffic went around us. No one paid much attention outside of honking about our slow speed as they passed.

"Are you humming a song about bananas?" Dylan asked.

I stopped humming and turned to face him. My guilty giggle filled the air. "Sorry. I didn't realize what I was doing." I winced when Dylan chuckled and hoped Ben wasn't overhearing us.

I had stopped Mulan and Conn from coming to the park with a text. Mulan tried to ask me questions about Ben's situation, but I begged off because my thumbs were tired. We would have enough time for her to learn everything once we got home.

Henry texted me that both guardians were seated in their window perch on the third floor, watching for us to come back. I asked him if they were laughing or frowning, but he never answered.

I interpreted his phone silence as a clear sign they were amused by me sneaking out, which was nothing new.

But I felt quite sure even Rasmus would be surprised by Ben's altered state.