Chapter 3

Ididn’t get to see Zara’s new appearance yesterday. Her face had been turned toward his chest as Rasmus carried her.

Not having seen her helped me today because my expression held nothing but surprise when they rounded Fiona’s house side by side. Rasmus had gone a bit overboard and the two of them looked enough alike for people to think they were twins.

At least studying them gave me a legitimate excuse to look at Rasmus. His new uniform seemed to be snug jeans and even snugger t-shirts. If a woman ignored the constant judgment residing in his gaze, the rest of him would do nothing but delight her.

Even Mulan—the most fiercely independent woman I knew—thought I was being stupid about keeping Rasmus out of my bed. “A woman has needs, Aran. Use him to meet them. He will not steal your anger. Trust me.”

She’d constantly urged me to be wicked while an eavesdropping Conn snickered like an eighth-grade boy behind her.

“Use him for what, Mulan?” I’d demanded. “A booty call on those rare occasions when he spends over ten minutes with me?”

No, I wouldn’t be doing anything like that. A woman had to draw a line somewhere. Since I needed his help with Zara, drawing the line at my bedroom door was the best I could do. Rasmus could stay but he would sleep in his own room, which even he had to see was a massive upgrade from his days spent sleeping in a garage.

And no, despite what Henry and Gale thought, I would not be swallowing my pride and eating my words soon. I could last as long as it took for the guardian to learn my warm welcome was not to be taken for granted.

Rasmus had taken cues from Conn in turning Zara into his fake sibling. Conn had created what we both called his “brother” form so people wouldn’t think we were a couple. He’d done it to make it easier for him to pick up women for a night.

Sans my height, of course, because Conn preferred to be taller. No man-creature of any species would choose to be five feet tall when he could be six or seven. Truth be told, I’d have been six feet tall myself if I had possessed the power to change my body that much.

Dylan, who was even shorter than me, morphed into a six-foot human male to hide among humans. For Dylan, size was about controlling how people—especially human females—looked at him. How could I hate him for that? Goddess, to look most men in the eyes, I had to stand on a chair or make them sit in it.

Sure, I’d learned over the years not to care too much about my short stature or to let it worry me. After meeting Mulan, who was also height-challenged, I’d at last found someone who understood. That didn’t mean I didn’t still have moments.

Seeing Rasmus standing at nearly seven feet and Zara at over six made me feel child-sized. Maybe there was a height requirement for packing that much arrogance around. I’d have to ask him that once we were on better terms again.

“Hello,” I said, nodding to them both. “I saved the big chairs for the two of ya. They belong to my tall daughter.”

Rasmus motioned to Zara to sit in one, then lowered himself into the other. Zara looked uncertain when her body slid back and down in the large Adirondack seat. A cautious female, who looked at me fearfully, had replaced the bitter female I originally met.

What on earth had Rasmus told her? He said he’d reset her to the being she’d been at the beginning of her service to our planet. Had she been fearful of the other species who’d lived here?

What kind of power made it possible for him to change her personality? By now, I knew the guardians excelled in crafting lies that made people believe what the guardians wanted them to believe. I was currently taking part in the one about Zara because I had a moment of sympathy for her controlled situation.

Maybe it wasn’t as bad as it seemed to me. I mean, Demons did the same with their compulsions. The difference was that the guardians could redefine a person permanently.

Like Rasmus, Zara had been some sort of scientist among her people. When I met her, she’d felt nothing but disgust for Earth’s residents and what she saw as their human flaws. Was this cautious woman the real Zara? Or was she still the one I met—the one who’d stolen the life essences of young women without a shred of remorse just so she could survive?

It hurt my brain to think about it. What had I seen in her that made me bargain to save her? It should have been enough punishment for her that Rasmus could create this timid version out of the strongest female I’d ever met. If he set her loose on Earth again, she would be fine for a while. Right?

I needed to stop churning on this because philosophizing was counterproductive to keeping my promise to Orlin. I had five years to convince Zara humans did not need to be ruled over by beings like her. If the Dagda were here right now, I’m sure he would have laughed and laughed at the trouble my runaway mouth had once again gotten me into.

I guess I’d been staring too hard at her because Zara cleared her throat and spoke first.

“My brother says I owe you my life.”

I moved my gaze to Rasmus as I answered her. “Yer brother exaggerates, Zara. I kept someone from killing ya because saving people is part of my job.”

Zara barely looked at me. “I hear I wasn’t the sort of person anyone would choose to save, and he said that I tried to kill you. I don’t have a lot of recall from that time, Aran. All I remember is being furious at everyone and everything. I couldn’t feel happiness in any form. A terrible rage had taken me over.”

I don’t know how Rasmus seeded that scenario into Zara’s memories and somehow twisted it to our benefit. The guardians seemed to have powers that rivaled the gods. But I’d met her when she’d been in full survival mode. Five years from now, when Zara came out of this fugue state Rasmus put her in, the female guardian was going to be pissed at both of us for manipulating her as we had.

Once again I reminded myself that I’d voluntarily signed up for this shit show. No one had twisted my arm. I had only my conscience to blame.

I blew out a breath and nodded to her. “If ya try killing me again, I won’t show ya the same mercy. Something ya need to understand about me is that I kill bad guys for a living. If ya travel down that path, that’s how I’m going to see ya.”

Zara nodded before dropping her gaze. “Rasmus and I have talked about this at great length. We both agree that some dark force possessed me. I feel nothing toward you but gratitude now. I hope you can believe that. You’re very important to my brother and I don’t want him to have to choose between us.”

I studied her while trying to figure out if she was being sincere, but I couldn’t tell. “Good. I don’t want him to do that either. Despite the many, many things yer brother and I don’t agree about in this world, whether or not to keep ya alive was never one of them. I’d be happy to make peace with ya, Zara. Also, yer brother and ya are welcome to stay with me for as long as ya wish. And there’s work to be done if ya’re interested in joining my team.”

Zara seemed surprised by the offer.

“What kind of work?” she asked.

My shrug was large and as unconcerned as I could make it. “Depends... what skills do ya possess? Rasmus said ya were a magick practitioner like me.”

“I don’t know what he meant by that, but I’m good with animals. Not domestic ones, but those with wild natures. They respond to me.”

I didn’t roll my eyes because I was an adult. This ruse wouldn’t work if I couldn’t play my part. “That’s interesting. I have a couple of wolves with a unique problem. They’re in the stables. We’ll walk over there soon. What else can ya do?”

Zara’s head dropped and she sighed.

Rasmus turned to face me fully. “My sister has forgotten her skills. She lost them during her healing. We’re hopeful the knowledge of her powers will return in time.”

“I see,” and I did. More than Zara realized. “Does she have wings? Can she fly like you?”

“Fly?” Zara’s head came up to stare at Rasmus. “Do you seriously have wings?”

I laughed. “He does but he’s still learning how to use them. That’s how we met. He dove at a Troll like a hawk going after a mouse. They both went rolling across the pavement.”

Rasmus shrugged at my story. “Being Irish, Aran loves to tell a descriptive version of every story. I have wings, and yes, I’ve been able to use them. I accepted a job with a paranormal organization called Shadow Breakers. Aran is my mentor.”

I held up my hand. “But not in the flying part. I’m calling in an expert to help Rasmus with his flying. I’m mentoring him in policing paranormals.”

Zara turned away from Rasmus to look at me again. “You’re speaking of humans with advanced skill sets, like witches and fairies.”

“And guardians. All three of us classify as magickals. Each paranormal type is a different species. Many magickals consider humans to be little more than prey. My job is to protect humans from those magickals that believe that.”

I watched as Zara nodded solemnly at my statements but I could see some churning in her expression. “Do ya think non-magickal humans are worth less than paranormal beings?”

Biting her bottom lip, Zara stared at me as if afraid to answer truthfully. “As a guardian, we seek to keep the balance on your planet. We become human to take a break from the tedium of our jobs. Regardless of what we think about a species, our purpose is to see that they evolve as naturally as possible. Intervention is only allowed in extreme circumstances. Humans have been the slowest species on this planet to evolve into a higher form and no one quite knows why. Most of them don’t realize or accept that their essence recycles into a new body repeatedly. This is my brother’s primary focus of study. He looks at why so many are resistant to change.”

“Yes. I am well aware of yer brother’s work among my people.” I turned to glare at Rasmus. “We’ve had many discussions about him seeing humans as an inferior species.”

“But he wasn’t talking about you. You have advanced skills,” Zara protested.

I stared hard as I spoke to her. “If ya talk about one of us, ya’re talking about all of us, guardian. My family comprises a mix of magickals and non-magickals. Whether or not one receives magic is up to our gods. Regardless of our power levels, we share the planet and work in harmony to exist.

“That has not been my observation,” Zara said.

“Because we’re a work in progress. We have to work at not devaluing anyone. Overcoming our flaws is what makes us strong, flexible, and resilient. When ya start evaluating people by what skills they don’t have or the magick they can’t do, there can be no end to the judging. Admittedly, some have to work than others do in remembering it. The struggle defines our natures.”

Zara huffed a little. “But that constant struggle seems so inefficient, don’t you think?”

I lifted both my hands in the air. “Who says evolution should be efficient? Maybe it works like that on other planets, but humans don’t follow evolutionary rules well. It’s an innate aspect of our species to rebel.”

Zara frowned at that. “So you identify with all of them even though you possess the power to conquer them.”

“What would conquering bring me? I’d exhaust my power trying to keep those I’ve conquered from conquering me back. I feel no desire to conquer, and yes, I identify with all the creatures of this planet. In the best of cases, our species elects fair overseers, not tyrannical rulers.”

“Not all rulers are tyrants,” she said.

“Not all rulers are needed. Seeing everyone as having the same value creates mutual respect and benefits the survival of our species. It’s like someone judging you for not flying just because yer brother can do it. Maybe ya inherited something different or even better. But ya would work with him to combine yer skills for the greater good. Right?”

Goddess, she was still the female guardian I met. All they did was stifle her nature a bit. This would be a long five years if she stayed in the “humans-should-bow-before-us” frame of mind. I’d heard that lecture from her once before and had hoped never to hear it again.

“Let’s take a walk and visit the demon wolves. We can debate our moral philosophies some other time. I’m still recovering from nearly being killed this week. My energy is not yet back to normal.”

Zara’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry if I stressed you with my observations.”

My laugh was from the gut. “Ya didn’t stress me any more than I already was. I’m sure we’ll get back to debating yer low opinion of humanity some other time. I’m not up to arguing about it with yer brother either, which is why he’s currently sleeping next to ya instead of in my room. I decided while Rasmus was gone that I would not keep justifying my wants and needs to any guardian, even the ones I like.”

“I can see that I’ve offended you. That was not my intention,” Zara said.

“Yes, ya have offended me, but don’t let it worry ya. Yer brother does it all the time,” I said before shrugging it off. “I’m not kicking either of ya out of the house for now. I promised yer guardian overseer that ya could stay five human years with me. Who knows, Zara? Maybe during that time, ya might change yer mind about my species.”

Zara took in my words but I could see in her face that was never going to happen. She had closed up inside her arrogance the way Rasmus so often did.

To be fair to Orlin, he had the decency to look and act contrite when I got upset with him. Rasmus and Zara handled my hurt by offering a polite apology followed by an intellectual argument. They didn’t get that saying the words of an apology was not the same thing as truly feeling regret. Both of them needed to learn that.

I walked a few steps in front of them as we made our way to the stables. A young demon caretaker was playing with the demon wolves. He looked like a typical teenager, even down to the irritated scowl he barely hid about our interruption.

“Hello,” I said, smiling at the boy. “This is Rasmus and Zara. They’re going to be regular visitors.”

The boy’s gaze zeroed in on Zara. I could tell Henry had gotten the word out fast to watch her.

“Should I leave and come back later?” he asked.

“That’s unnecessary,” I said, smiling at him again. “But ya could run and tell Gale that we’ll be having dinner in the dining room tonight. I promised to let her know. I won’t be feeding the wolves tonight so I’ll save that job for ya.”

“Sure. I can deliver your message. I can do that while you visit the wolves,” he said, nodding before he ran off.

I whistled and the wolves jogged over to us. I knelt and gave them both a good scratch. I also kept my voice low as I spoke to the humans inside them. “Don’t be getting too used to yer wolf forms. I may have found someone to help ya become yerselves again.”

Zara stepped around me to get a better look. She held out a hand over them. “You called them wolves, but these are not wolves.”

Since the wolves weren’t running away from her in terror, I stood up. “You’re right. They’re not wolves. They’re two young human females. I lack the skills needed to turn them back into humans. The person who did this to them planned to do this to all humans. She shared yer view about human evolution not happening fast enough.”

Zara drew her hand back and frowned. “It is not our place to decide something like this. Only the Creators can make this sort of decision. There are good reasons we don’t intervene.”

Up to now, I’d been trying not to lie to Zara. Now I could kiss that intention goodbye. “I’m not sure what kind of being she was. I only know what she thought. My discussions with her were enlightening, but I also felt very sorry for her. She was grieving the love of her immortal life and created these wolves for reasons I couldn’t adequately explain to anyone. Unfortunately, she never finished her work so they’re stuck in their wolf form with no hope of changing back. She did intend to give them the ability.”

Zara shook her head and took another step backward. Then she crossed her arms—or hugged herself—I couldn’t tell which. “I did this when I was possessed, didn’t I?”

I straightened to my full height. I didn’t weave the lie Zara was being forced to live. Rasmus would have to handle this one.

“Ya’ll have to talk to yer brother about who’s responsible for letting her do this. All I know is that these young, non-magickal women didn’t deserve to have their lives disrupted for the sake of some guardian scientist’s blind ambition. My ex-husband was part of a military group of human scientists doing this same thing to unwilling people, except they weren’t as good at it. I stopped him and if I could fix the wolves myself, I would.”

Zara didn’t respond. Instead, she turned and walked away. That was what guardians did when someone held them accountable.

“I should go after her,” Rasmus said.

“Ya should,” I agreed.

“Can we talk later?”

“Are ya planning to stay and hear me out? Or run off again?”

Rasmus sighed. “I had an important thought and needed to make a note of it.”

“And I had feelings of rejection and abandonment about why ya left like that. I’m not eager to keep experiencing yer rudeness over and over just because ya don’t understand what hurt feelings are.”

“That wasn’t why I left...”

I held up my hand. “I don’t care why ya left. I care only that ya disrespected me. Actions speak louder than words, Rasmus. A superior-thinking guardian ought to understand how that works for us lowly humans.”

“I thought you were above petty emotions.”

“And I thought ya cared enough about my feelings not to be thoughtless. I guess we were both wrong.” I waved a hand toward the house. “Go. Take care of yer experiment. I appreciate yer attention to detail with her. She’s the same Zara but far less ambitious. Nice work, Mr. Scientist.”

“I can tell you’re being sarcastic. I will see you later to discuss this.”

“Yeah—yeah... I’ll see ya at dinner. But I’m having tea with Mulan afterward and ya’re not invited.”

Rasmus strode away muttering to himself. It was a good thing I couldn’t hear what he was saying or we might have had one of those magickal smack-downs they were always putting in paranormal movies. He had his memories back but I’d seen nothing to show all his powers had returned. Maybe I might win one for once. It would be fun to put a frozen statue of Rasmus in the foyer next to the one of Ezra.

Maybe I’d have Henry put them on each side of the staircase. Wouldn’t that jazz up the cover of some decorating magazine?

After Rasmus was gone, the demon wolves whined as they stared up at me. I turned and smiled down at them. “Look, I don’t know if ya recognized her or not, but Zara’s not the person she used to be. Unfortunately, she’s also not willing to help ya yet. We may have to give her a bit of time to adjust to her new reality. I promise I’ll keep working on her.”

Two sets of demon wolf eyes suddenly glowed red as they went on alert. It meant their adoptive alpha was close. I had the opposite reaction to Conn’s presence and relaxed when I felt him near to me. I smiled in welcome when I turned to see Conn casually walking toward us. “Go greet him. I know ya want to.” Then I laughed as the demon wolves bolted to him.

Conn dealt with their jumping for joy and their need for him to pet them. Part of me wanted to leave things exactly as they were. The other part knew that was not the right thing to be wanting for those women. They deserved to have their humanity returned. If I could make it happen, I had to do so. I could adopt some dogs that would be as welcoming and accepting as the demon wolves were.

My sigh of disappointment was loud as I vowed internally to be a better person.

“Good Goddess, Aran. I heard your thoughts over the screeching Mulan calls singing. What did the guardian do now?”

I glared at Conn. “That reminds me. I need to check with Henry to see if he got in touch with that teacher yet. I’m tired of broadcasting to every paranormal within hearing distance. And I’ve heard Mulan sing, Conn. She has a pleasant voice.”

Conn snickered and pointed to his head. “Not to demon ears.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t tell me ya don’t adore her because I’ll call ya a liar.”

“Oh, I adore her, just not her singing. By the way, we’re coming to dinner later. Henry insists we attend. He’s worried the stress of having the guardians here might make you snap.”

I moaned and covered my face. “Good Goddess, Henry heard my thoughts as well.”

“Yes. He and Gale both did. The older a demon gets, the more skill they have in reading minds, even when they’re trying not to do so. Lilith finds your thoughts refreshing and entertaining. I find them the same. Henry and Gale don’t share our views. They find them worrisome. But I wouldn’t let that bother you.”

“Gah... I hate my life. I’m an open book for everyone to read.”

“You do not hate your life,” Conn said, laughing softly. “You’re just irritated at the guardians and mad at Rasmus for not working harder to make up. Rasmus is not a human male, no matter how much he looks like one. He will not tell you what you want to hear just to get laid. Guardians think too much of themselves to do that. You’re going to have to deal with him as he is and what he thinks. You received a more pleasant, less intelligent version of him and weren’t satisfied. So suck it up and deal with the intelligent one you wanted and finally got back.”

“I am dealing with him, Conn. I’m just not sleeping with him.”

“Yes, we know. Your frustration is being shouted to the world. Rasmus undoubtedly knows ya’re holding out as well. They use human feelings like one uses a map. Reading you shows him what to do.”

“Ya’re not being helpful today, Conn.”

His laughter rang out. “I’m sorry. Would it be helpful to tell you how much I admire your bravery concerning the wicked guardian female? I think you’d challenge the gods if you felt the need.”

I finally removed my hands from my fiery face. “Does challenging The Dagda count? He was manipulating me and I knew it. But I don’t think he holds my ability to read him against me.”

I laughed at the long sigh Conn released.

“It’s not like I’m intentionally trying to be a problem for the guardians. I admit their arrogant outlook grates on my nerves and it upsets me that they do nothing to tone it down. What am I supposed to say in response to their idiocy? Why, yes, I am an inferior being. Don’t lower yerselves to see things from my point of view. Well, that’s not happening, Conn. They don’t live here. They’re guests. And not even good ones.”

I wanted to punch him when a laughing Conn pulled me close for a hug. The demon wolves yipped and ran in circles around us. They didn’t want either of us to be mad.

“Go on and play,” I told them softly. “Everything is going to be fine. I’m just tired of all the crap I’m going through. I’ll get over myself later. I always do.”

They looked at Conn. When he smiled and nodded, they raced off for the rope they used to play tug of war.

I groaned as I pushed him away. “All I want is a peaceful life. I’d even settle for a few peaceful days.”

Conn sighed. “I wish I could give that to you, but I can’t. I came to find you to give you some news. Mulan’s parents are coming this weekend. I left her singing angry songs in the kitchen to come tell you.”

I laughed but this time for real. “Of course, they are. The entire world is conspiring against me getting any rest this week.”

“If you’d set aside your pride, Rasmus could help you get some rest.”

“No,” I said, crossing my arms as Conn laughed. “I’ll not be doing that until we’ve reached an understanding.”

Realizing how much I sounded like Fiona, I let my arms fall.

“Tell Mulan it’s fine for them to arrive early. We’ll make it work. The sooner their time here starts—the sooner it will end and we can go back to normal.”

“Would that be the normal where we’re using a frozen statue of a fairy for decoration?”

I lifted my middle finger to him. “Yes, I mean that normal. It beats letting snooty guardians and selfish parents control our every move. I’m going to have to throw a sheet over him while they’re here.”

“If you say so,” Conn said with a smirk.

“Kiss my ass,” I said, stomping away from him. “I’ll see Mulan and ya at dinner. The two of ya can help me navigate the guardians and I’ll drop the news about Mulan’s parents coming. It’s called a win-win.”

“Or a lose-lose in our case, eh?”

Letting Conn have the last word, I headed back to finish my unpacking.