Chapter 21

Iknew the way Faise was pacing in my kitchen that he was all up in his head. I knew my boo. He was worried that I was going to change my mind. That everything that had happened this morning was a mistake, but it was so far from that.

Our timing on stage was always spot on, but here, now, we were out of sync like we never were. Nervous, restless, struggling to find our groove in this brand new world we’d woken up to. A world where he and I were lovers, not just best friends.

And now I just wanted one damn moment alone with him.

When we finally stopped kissing, I turned to look at Holls and Brodie. My band brothers were staring at us like they”d never seen us before. Even though they joked about me and Faise being a couple all the time, ever since we started playing together, I don”t think they ever thought that it would happen. It was going to take all of us time to get used to this reality.

Still, I didn”t want to go back. I couldn”t.

Why had it taken me so long to realize what all the touches, hugs, and cuddles, meant? It was like I’d been wearing foggy glasses for years. When they finally cleared, all I could see was this beautiful man standing right in front of me.

“I can”t believe it,” Brodie kept repeating.

“You bugged us about it often enough, why can”t you believe it?” I asked.

“You finally managed to grow some balls and go for it.”

I rolled my eyes. “Speaking of which, why don”t you guys head off to the studio and me and Faise will meet you there? Later. Much, much later.”

“I think I”d rather head to the studio first. We need our normal routine right now more than ever,” Faise added, slipping out of my arms.

I didn’t like that one bit. His leaving or his answer.

“Ooh, burn,” Holls quipped.

I gave Holloway my best finger, then stared at Faise. What the hell?

“It”s been a lot in twenty-four hours, yeah?” Faise nodded and took my hand in his, giving me a reassuring squeeze. “Let”s go have some normal. Jam, blow off steam, then we can come back here just the two of us.”

Was he having second thoughts? I didn”t like feeling this uncertainty between us. I always knew what he was thinking and vice versa. Didn’t he want to be alone with me in the same desperate way that I wanted to be alone with him?

“If we”re going to do this Ronin, we”re going to take our time,” Faise continued. “I”m not going to fuck this up. You mean too much to let that happen.”

He was right. I’d been dealing with these feelings for a long time, I just hadn”t been ready yet to face them. With other guys I could just fuck and forget. Walk away. But Faise? That wasn”t happening. That meant I had to stop thinking with just my cock. Faise needed to know that I was all in with him.

“Awe, did you hear that Holls? They”re in love,” Brodie teased.

“Like I said,” I bit out, turning to Brodie. “We’ll meet you over there.”

Brodie and Holls smiled and stood up, reaching over to give us a hug.

“If you guys change your mind, we understand.”

“We’ll meet you at the studio in half an hour.”

Music had always brought us together, and we needed that now more than ever.

We said our goodbyes and then I went in search of my sister. Before I went anywhere or did anything, I needed to make sure that she was okay.

I knocked on her bedroom door and when I didn’t get a response, I opened it slowly. Ciara was fast asleep. It reminded me of when we were kids and I would babysit, checking up on her. Funny how that never goes away. No matter what, she’d always be my baby sister.

Satisfied that she was resting, I was finally ready to contact my mother to tell her exactly what had happened last night. She”d left me a voicemail this morning, when we were talking to Zoe and the police, and I’d texted her back, saying everyone was all right and would call soon. But I couldn”t hold off on talking to her any longer.

I headed back out to find Faise still in the kitchen. “I’m going to get changed and call my mom. You know where everything is. Take anything you need. And feel free to wear my clothes.”

“Sounds good,” Faise replied. “I”ll meet you by the front door in twenty.”

After giving me another kiss, Faise headed upstairs. I picked up my cell phone and tapped my mom’s number. She answered on the first ring.

“Ronin, what’s going on? Are you and Ciara okay?”

“Like I said in my text, I”m fine, Ciara is fine too. Well, as fine as she can be right now. She’s been keeping a secret from us. Her boyfriend Dallas has been verbally and physically abusive for months. They came to our launch party last night, and I knew something was off. He got pissed and lured her outside. Thankfully, I went after them, Faise too, but things just exploded after that. Ci’s shaken up. And she doesn”t want to return home to New York. Dallas is a police officer so you can imagine what’s going through her mind.”

“Oh my God, I knew something was wrong when she refused to call me back. The news said you were injured, what happened?”

“Dallas caught me with a broken beer bottle, and I had some stitches but I”m fine. He also punched Faise. Thankfully, Dallas was arrested and Ciara’s filing a restraining order. All this to say she”s going to be staying with me for a while. She’s right to be worried about going home. This guy is off the rails.”

“I can’t believe this,” Mom paused, her voice muffled. “Thank God she came to you, Ronin. I’m getting on the next flight down to Nashville.”

“I think that’s a great idea. You can stay here with me and Ciara and Faise.”

There was a significant pause on the other end of the line.

“Faise is staying at your place, too? That’s good. He and Ciara get on well and she needs the support.”

“She does. Text me the flight details and I’ll have a driver pick you up.”

“I don’t think I need?—”

“Yes,” I insisted. “This Dallas guy might be out on bail tomorrow. He’s volatile as fuck and we don’t want to take any chances. I’ll send a driver and one of my bodyguards.”

“Okay. Can you tell Ciara to call me back? I need to speak to her.”

My mom’s voice finally broke, and I could hear her sobs.

“I will.”

“I’ll see you soon, honey.”

“Bye, Mom.”

I hung up, my hands shaking. I could use a drink, but it was too early in the day. Even for a rockstar like me.

Instead, I made myself another cup of coffee, decaf this time, and drank it slowly while texting Len about my mom’s plan to head down here.

“Hey.”

I turned to find Ciara standing behind me, tears on her face, her phone in her hand.

“I talked to Mom,” I explained. “And told her everything that happened. She”s flying out here as soon as possible.”

“I know. She just texted me. She”s been trying to call me all morning, but I just didn”t have the heart to talk to her. I feel so ashamed. Like I let her down. Hell, I let you down.”

“You haven”t let anyone down. But maybe let her in, yeah? I know it”s easier to keep these things bottled up inside but trust me, doing that will only do more harm than good. I saw that with Faise when he went through the worst of his drug addiction. If you don”t talk about what”s bothering you, it just festers. I”m always here. Faise is here, and Mom”s going to be here too. Just tell us what you need, and we”ll do whatever we have to. We’re gonna get through this as a family.”

Ciara nodded and wiped her face.

“Me and Faise are heading to the studio to jam for a bit. Do you want to come along, or do you prefer to stay here? Do you feel safe with one of my bodyguards?”

She nodded. “I”d rather stay here, thanks. I”m still shaky and I hardly slept last night. I just want to rest and then watch some TV, try to take my mind off things.”

“Are you sure? I don”t want you to be alone with no one to talk to.”

“Brody”s assistant Bibi reached out to me. She”s going to stop by in an hour and keep me company for a while.”

I was enormously relieved at that. “Bibi’s great. But don”t tell her any stories about me from growing up, yeah? Otherwise, she’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

“Don”t worry, Ro, your childhood secrets are safe with me,” she whispered. “I know I haven”t said it often enough, but you are an amazing big brother. I don”t know that I would have been able to get through Mom and Dad’s divorce, or school, or any of it, without your support. I just want you to know how much I love you.”

I reached for her, for a hug that we both needed.

“Have fun at the studio,” she whispered. “Make a lot of noise. And don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

I nodded, and she headed for the living room.

Getting out of the house for a bit would be good. I headed upstairs to my bedroom, but when I got there, I paused. Faise was sitting on my bed, still dressed in my clothes, staring at his hands like he was waiting for an answer to a prayer. I didn”t move a muscle. I just stared and took in the sight of him.

He looked so right in my bedroom, on my bed.

I”d never imagined that being in a relationship was something that I’d ever want. But looking at Faise now, it was like he was always meant to be here. And when he looked up at me, I had serious doubts that he and I were going to make it to the recording studio at all.

In his gaze there was heat and passion, but also trepidation, worry.

I knew that with my best friend I couldn”t just say the words. The only way to reassure him that I was in this for good was by showing him, not just telling him. If I had paid attention, I would’ve realized sooner that my need to always be in his personal space meant more than friends. I always had a need to touch him. But it also worked the other way. I needed his touch as much as he needed mine.

“Move in with me,” I blurted out.

Faise’s mouth opened and closed.

He shook his head. “What?”

“You heard me. Move in with me. After we finish up with the rehearsal studio, we”re going to go by your place, grab as much of your stuff as we can, and bring it back here. This is where you belong. With me.”

“What about taking things slow?”

“Sex, yeah. If you want. But everything else, no. You can stay in another bedroom if you’re more comfortable with that, but I want you here, in my home. I want to hear your laugh, I want to talk to you all day, every day. I want to wake up and see your beautiful face. You need to know that this is so far beyond fucking. I’m ready. And I’m not looking back.”

Faise nodded, standing up. I walked over and pulled him into my arms. He smiled, wide, and when his dimples appeared, I was a goner.

“I want that too,” Faise replied and kissed me languidly. “It already feels like this is where I’m meant to be. It already feels like home.”

It certainly did.