Chapter 1

It was my first day at my new school and I hated it.

Sitting on the bench opposite the playground, by myself, I stared at my classmates, who ran around, laughing and having fun.

I wanted to go back to New York. To Jackson Heights, the neighborhood in Queens that was the only home I’d ever known. Where my friends were. And my grandparents. Not here in Rhode Island, in this town where everyone stared at me. Here, the only people I knew were my parents and my brother.

“What kind of name is Faisel?”

I followed the voice, turning around. The boy standing behind me was familiar. He’d been in my math class, Nathaniel… something. He was popular and everyone in class talked to him.

Except me. I was too shy. When he glared at me, I didn’t understand. And I didn’t know what to say to him now.

What was wrong with my name? No one back home asked me about it.

“It’s the name my grandparents gave me.”

“It’s weird,” he sneered. “And so are you.”

My face heated and I turned around again, not wanting to talk anymore. Wishing I could disappear. Or blink and open my eyes to find I was back in my old school.

Suddenly, I was pushed off the bench and I tumbled onto the grass. My knees hit the ground hard, and my hands after them.

Looking up, Nathaniel was staring down at me, his arms crossed.

“I don’t like you and no one else does either. No one’s gonna play with you. Go back inside.”

Humiliation washed over me. I was frozen, unable to move. My eyes begin to fill up but I blinked fast and hard.

“You gonna cry now? What a big baby,” Nathaniel muttered as he stepped closer to me. “I’m gonna tell everyone you’re a scared loser.”

Get up and run inside!Go find a teacher.

But I couldn’t. I just sat there, protectively pulling my knees up to my chest. Nathaniel kicked my shins hard and I yelled out, but no one heard me. Or cared. Pain, humiliation, and fear welled up inside me. Tears rolled down my face and I tucked my head into my arms, trying to blockout everything.

Go away, please. Just leave me alone.

“Get away from him.”

What?

Wiping my face, I glanced up to find another boy, one with dark brown hair and big blue eyes, standing in front of me. I couldn’t remember his name, but he was also in my math class. He was bigger than Nathaniel.

This boy made silly faces and jokes, and the teacher told him to be quiet. A lot. Unlike other boys in the class, his hair was long. And even though the other kids kept asking him about it, he didn’t seem to mind the questions or the stares.

Not like me.

“I didn’t do anything,” Nathaniel complained. “He’s just a loser crybaby.”

“And you’re just annoying.”

“Whatever. You’ve got a stupid name too, Ronin.”

Ronin.

The boy towered over Nathaniel, and I hid my face again. I heard footsteps but I kept my head down until Ronin’s voice echoed in my ear.

“He’s gone now. Are you okay?”

I slowly looked up again and nodded. Even though I wasn’t okay. I was still trembling. Today was turning out to be the worst day ever.

“Faisel, right?” Ronin asked, crouching down in front of me. “I’m Ro. Do you need help getting up?”

Shaking my head, I used my t-shirt to wipe my face and stood up on trembling legs. Ronin joined me, and when I stood up, I realized he was way taller than me. Bigger too. He looked like he was twelve or thirteen, not ten.

“Thanks,” I whispered gratefully, a huge lump in my throat.

“No problem. I got a younger sister, Ciara, and I look out for her. I don’t like bullies.”

“I have an older brother but he’s at another school.”

The one for gifted students. Not average ones like me.

“Is this your first day here?” he asked.

I nodded. “I’m from New York City. I miss it already.”

“I’ve never been there, but the city sounds cool. I wish I lived there and not here.”

“Yeah.”

“I moved here a week ago with my mom and sister,” Ronin explained. “My parents just divorced.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. They argue all the time. Now at least I can sleep.”

I didn’t know what else to say.

“You want to go play on the jungle gym?” Ronin asked.

“Okay,” I replied and looked back up at him. Ronin’s eyes were so blue, like a summer sky. My stomach calmed and my anxiety started to fade away. “You can call me Faise.”

He nodded. “You’ve got a cool name. I think being different is awesome. Who wants to be like everyone else?”

I did. I just wanted to fit in.

“People here don’t seem to like different,” I suggested.

“Then they’re boring. And dumb.”

And thinking about what he said, I began to wonder.

“Your hair’s long,” I blurted out.

Ronin laughed and I felt my face heat.

“Um, I mean, it’s nice. Your hair. It’s, um,” I paused. “Yeah, different. But good.”

Jeez, could I sound any more awkward? I began to walk away, flushed with embarrassment. I was never going to make friends here.

“I know what you meant,” Ronin replied, and I stopped walking. “Thanks.”

“What do you think of school so far?” I asked tentatively.

Ronin made a strange face, like he was going to be sick or something. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who was feeling out of place.

“It’s okay, but the teachers don’t like me already ‘cause I talk too much and joke around.”

“I don’t think they like me either. I’m only good at math. And music. It’s my favorite. Everything else takes me forever to learn.”

“Same. Music is the coolest thing ever. I want to play guitar. I want for lessons.”

“My parents have me in piano class already. I can teach you to play. If you want.”

“Really?”

“Sure.”

“What else do you like?” Ronin asked me as we headed for the gym. “Do you play chess?”

I nodded.

“And video games,” I added. “I have an Xbox. You want to come over and play sometime?”

Ronin smiled at me.

And just like that, I knew that everything was going to be okay.

Ronin

I glanced at Faisel and I was happy to see him smiling back at me.

His big brown eyes were no longer fearful or welled up with tears.

I hated seeing anyone get bullied. Ciara had been teased by her classmates at our last school. I’d been made fun of too, but it didn’t bother me like it did her. And because I was bigger than most kids my age, no one picked a fight with me.

Faise was shy at first but once we got talking, he slowly came out of his shell. And he wasn’t the only one who felt relief.

I’d finally made a friend. Me.

I joked around and because of that I got along anywhere, with pretty much anyone. But I didn’t have any close friends. No play dates or sleepovers. Up until recently, I’d lived in a trailer park with my mom, dad, and sister but I never wanted to invite anyone home. Between my parents fighting and the state of the trailer itself, just… no.

I didn’t tell Faise the reason why my hair was long. It was either leave it or let my mom give me her idea of a haircut, which was just shaving it off. Which I didn’t like. We couldn’t afford to go to the barber. We didn’t have new clothes either. Or much of anything.

Being the poorest kid in the class, I didn’t get invited to parties because they knew I couldn’t buy gifts. The only time we got nice stuff was at Christmas, when the local charity organized a donation drive. Last year, I got a video game console. I took extra care of it because I knew it would have to last years.

It was fine. We got by. At least me and my mom and my sister always had each other.

And I learned that if I could make people laugh, I’d get by, no matter what. Maybe now that my mom had two jobs, and we were in a new apartment, in a new town, things would be different.

Maybe.

But wishing for something and getting it were two different things. I gave up on wishes, along with believing in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy.

After Faise and I played for a while, it was time for lunch, so we headed back inside the school. We got our bags from our lockers and headed into the crowded lunchroom.

“What do you have to eat?” Faise asked me as we found two empty seats.

“PB J,” I replied. “My favorite.”

It wasn’t my favorite. It was what I ate every day because there was nothing else. Sometimes only the J.

“Do you want to try some of mine?” he asked as he opened his lunch bag.

He pulled out three metals containers packed with food.

“Wow, what’s all that?”

It smelled amazing and there was so much of it.

“This is my mom’s chickpea curry and veg, rice, and homemade naan bread. Orange and mango slices. And string cheese.”

“String cheese?” I asked. “It doesn’t sound like it goes with the other stuff.”

“I love them,” Faise giggled. “My dad too, but we hide them from Mom. She says they’re processed foods.”

“All I’ve ever eaten is that.”

“Here,” Faise said and passed me his fork.

“You have utensils too? What else is in there? A microwave?”

Faise laughed again and the sound made me smile. I tried a mouthful of the curry, and it was good but…

“That’s kinda spicy,” I replied and reached for a piece of the bread. “But really good.”

Then I bit into the flatbread. “OMG, that’s amazing.”

Faise’s face lit up.

We spent the rest of the lunch hour eating and talking, in our own world. We liked the same video games and TV shows. And music, too.

“Do you, I mean, would you like to come to my house on Friday after school?” he asked me. “We always have pizza night on Friday. But real pizza, from a restaurant, not the frozen kind.”

Just the thought of fresh pizza had my stomach rumbling again.

“Yeah,” I replied without thinking. “I’ll check with my mom first, but it should be okay.”

Then I felt guilty. I’d have loads of pizza and my sister and mom would be eating Kraft mac cheese again.

“Um, I just remembered. I might need to babysit my sister Friday night.”

“Bring her with you. We always have lots.”

I nodded but I didn’t reply.

“If you want,” Faise added quietly. “You don’t have to if you don’t want. I mean?—”

“I want to. I just, well—” I paused. I never told anyone about how we struggled, but suddenly, it just spilled out of me. “I won’t be able to do the same. My family can’t afford stuff like pizza nights.”

Faise nudged me with his sharp little elbow. “I don’t care. I still want you to come over.”

Then he gave me a smile that had the dimples on his cheeks popping out.

Sitting there in the lunchroom, I knew right then that Faise wasn’t going to be my friend.

He was going to be my best.