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CHAPTER 35

We lay in his bed, dark sheets the only thing covering our bare bodies. From the slanted wall to ceiling windows in front of us, a few lone stars in the hazy sky shone over us. The moon casted its cool, iridescent light over the room, colouring us in hues of blue.

I turned to stare at him, pulling the sheet against my chest and cocooning myself in it. "So, Gray. Tell me, what number am I in the list of girls you've done this with?"

"One hundred and one," he replied, a smirk gracing those irresistible lips.

My mouth dropped and he laughed. The light sound felt like it wrapped around my body. "Relax, Cosmo. I'm kidding."

I shoved his chest and he grabbed me, pulling me in closer and encasing his arms around me. "Is this all just some sort of game to you?" I lightly accused. "Getting the closed-off girl to trust you and let her guard down until she eventually gives in and sleeps with you, becoming another one of your conquests? I can only imagine how many girls you've picked up at the club with the same moves. You probably spill the drink yourself and then offer to get them cleaned up back at your place. I could so see that being your signature move." I was half joking and half serious—trying my hardest to keep my tone light while fishing for answers. Deep down I was itching to know. Was I anything different?

"If it was a game, I'd win." He captured me with that liquid gaze and that sexy smile.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Do that again," he commanded.

I did it again.

In a second he was on me, flipping me over so I was on my back. His body hovered over mine as his arms, on either side of my head, held him up so he could look down at me. My breath caught in my chest as I waited to see what he'd do next, my heart beating at an unheard of rate.

"I told you I love it when you roll your eyes at me." The husky rumble of his voice traversed through my body and called me to him. I pressed myself closer. And then his lips were on mine as he hungrily kissed me. His hands wrapped into my hair, pulling me closer to him as he devoured my mouth. My body responded and I couldn"t help but kiss him back. I didn't want to not kiss him back. I wanted him. Wanted this. I didn't care what number I was. I got him now. For this moment. And I'd selfishly take it.

But then he said something that melted my heart. Broke my resolve. "You're the first girl I've ever brought to my room, Supernova." His lips paused on mine as he breathed the words. His eyes closed, as if all he cared about was this moment. Like having me was the most important thing to him right now. He was uncharacteristically vulnerable.

He kissed me slower this time.

"You're smooth, Gray. I'll give you that." I whispered between kisses, during the gaps when he let me come out for air.

"I'm serious, Venus." My body trembled at the sound of my name leaving his lips.

"Mmm-hmm," I mumbled.

"Shut up and let me kiss you."

I opened my mouth to him, obeying his command.

???

He insisted on cooking me breakfast when morning hit the next day, leading me down to the small kitchen area directly under the loft that made up his bedroom. The black bench and sleek appliances looked like they were hardly used but as he whipped me up a vibrant Shakshuka, it was clear that the state of his kitchen was due to the fact that he was a secret clean freak and not because he didn't know his way around one.

Now that I had the chance, I took in his living quarters. That's what they were, not a bedroom, but actual living quarters, as if it was a whole apartment somehow shoved into this warehouse. The furniture in his living area was almost identical to the ones downstairs; a large plush charcoal coloured couch and a dark brown leather armchair that looked worn in from years of reading, or in Griffin's case, likely pondering life and being moody—although we did establish he does in fact read. A black minimal coffee table sat in the middle.

His room had a slightly cooler colour palette than the other areas in the compound, with less white and brown and more grey and black. A more masculine luxury take.

I wondered if these were just given to him or if he picked them out himself. Either way, they suited him perfectly.

"So, have you actually never brought anyone back here?" I asked from the bench as I devoured the eggs he made me.

He looked up from his plate. "I haven't. Not even Billie or Kit." I couldn't help but stare at him in shock. I also had to note he looked incredibly sexy leaning against the bench across from me while he ate his breakfast in nothing but grey sweatpants. His hair was wet and hung messily in front of his eyes from the shower we took together this morning in his bathroom—the private one that resided in his very own room that had been there this whole time. I blushed at the thought of what had occurred in that bathroom no more than thirty minutes ago. He noticed and smirked at me.

"What?" He questioned. "Remembering me naked?"

"No," I spat out.

"Cosmo, I have eyes. I can see when yours trail down my body." The self-satisfied grin on his face annoyed the hell out of me but equally turned me on. "If you want me naked again, all you have to do is ask," he added with a wink.

I stared at him for a moment.

"I want you naked again."

The shock at me taking his bait so brazenly was clear on his face and his eyes flashed silver as he registered what I said. He pushed his bowl away before stalking to my side of the bench where I was waiting with my arms outstretched. As soon as his body got close enough to mine, I wrapped myself around him. I was vaguely aware of us moving and then he lowered us onto his couch. Once he put me down on it, he pulled off his pants without hesitation, standing in front of me completely naked.

He must have liked the look on my face because he grinned again. "Happy now, Supernova?"

I nodded in response. Still in awe of the masterpiece that was his body. I stood up and took the step that closed the gap between us. He watched me as I traced the delicate lines of the tattoos that covered his body, one by one. When I got to the one in the middle of his chest—the butterfly—I stopped and licked it. Tracing the lines with my tongue this time instead. I felt him still beneath me. And then when he couldn't handle it anymore, he pushed me down onto the couch and had his way with me.

???

"Stop distracting me. Why haven't you had anyone up here? Not even Billie or Kit?" We were lazing on his couch now. For us to both fit on it, I had to lay on top of him. I lifted my chin to look into his eyes.

"This space has always been mine. It felt too personal. I was always alone in here. In whatever room I had. So much so that it felt like it had to stay that way. The place for me to be alone. Like my own personal prison."

"Well then why bring me?" I mindlessly traced the inky patterns on his body.

"I like getting personal with you."

"So not even a past girlfriend?"

"I've not had a girlfriend," he admitted. "I like you, Cosmo. I like you a lot. But I don't do the whole boyfriend thing. I'm happy to just exist as is. I don't do the label and I don't promise commitment. People never keep promises, so I don't see the point in it. But I do want to keep doing this. With you."

"That's fine with me. I probably couldn't do a boyfriend right now anyway." It was mostly true, at least for the moment. But I wondered if his stance on that would ever change. Either way, I'd take what he was giving me. I'd take whatever I could get from him.

Personally, I thought he kissed me with too much emotion to be casual. But hey, what did I know? I was just a girl who thought a wolf loved me and was not secretly killing people. Clearly, I was the last person who could be trusted to make inferences about people"s intentions. So I would just enjoy the ride. All aboard the Griffin express.

Now that I knew who I was on my own. Now that I had an identity without a boy, I could let a boy in. I could enjoy him and take whatever he would give without letting it take from me.

Maybe Kit was rubbing off on me. But friends with benefits sounded pretty damn good for now, especially if he was the friend that was giving all the benefits. Maybe this way I wouldn't be crushed like the last time.

I mulled over what he said, realising he preferred the common areas of the compound because they were less lonely.

"What was it like? Growing up in the academy?" I leaned my head back down on his chest, listening to the soothing rhythm of his heart beating.

His fingers played with my hair as he spoke. "Boring. Desolate. Cold. Thea wasn't the most motherly of mothers. She always worked; the academy was and always will be her only real love in life. All her attention was focused towards making sure it ran smoothly. She took after her dad in that regard. So, I was kinda passed around when I was young, someone always tasked with looking after me. Until I could look after myself. Which I was forced to do quite quickly. You kinda have to when you have no one to rely on. And as you know, my dad had already left." I heard the slight sigh that escaped him. "I was the only child in the compound at the time. Life changed for me when Kit came along. I was intrigued by the fiery little thing. And we became instant friends. One by one, more teenagers started to transfer in from other academies with their families or occasionally from the streets. Some nice. Some not so nice. But our little group formed and I had something to look forward to." I didn't need to turn my head to see the smile on his face. I could hear it in his voice.

"There was always a lot of pressure on me. People expected that I be the best recruit. Especially Thea. So, I trained a lot. I felt like no one would want me if I wasn't the best. By the time I was twelve I had already found and mastered the sword. I had nothing else to do. No childhood. So, I became obsessed with it all. So much so that normal lessons and training couldn't stimulate me anymore. Which is probably why I acted out a lot as a teenager. I was bored." He grinned down at me. "But you stimulate me."

"Griff," I grumbled. I wanted to hear more. I wanted to know everything about him.

"Okay, okay." He chuckled. "When I was sixteen, I was given my own room. At nineteen, Thea gave me this apartment. An incentive to stop acting like an idiot and start taking my role at the Knights seriously. Another academy kid had died on a patrol at the time. She didn't want me to end up like that. That's when I worked my way up the ranks. Became a captain. So now I mindlessly get up every day. Train and patrol. Do what I'm told. It all feels the same. The only excitement comes from the few times I actually get to face a wolf."

I looked up at him, meeting the deep grey of his eyes. They sparkled mischievously. "It's been boring as fuck." His hand gripped my hair tighter, keeping me in the hold of his silver gaze. "Until you came along."

In an instant, his lips met mine. Passionate fire for a few blissful seconds before he pulled away with a wicked smile.

We both had this unusual, lonely childhood. Full of self-doubt and unknowns. For me, it led to clinging to what felt safe at that time—my best friend that happened to be a wolf. A person who showed kindness and love towards me. Who made me feel safe and secure. Stable. It seemed like it did the opposite for Griffin, causing him to either keep to himself or act out. He was lucky that he had such a supportive group or friends to keep him sane in a place that was clearly not made for children. The thought of a little Griffin feeling isolated, unwanted and unworthy made my heart break.

"I'm glad I could be of service," I joked, beginning to get up. We had woken up early this morning but neither of us bothered to get ready for our usual Tuesday morning training session.

"Where do you think you're going?" He grabbed my wrist.

"Shouldn't we train?"

"Oh, we"re going to train alright. This morning I'll be testing your endurance." That devilish smirk that elicited an array of bodily responses in me reappeared.

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