8. Chapter Eight

Carousel - Melanie Martinez

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

My cell vibrates on the nightstand next to my bed. Furrowing my brows, I squint my eyes, trying to force them open. The sunlight shining in from the large window is so bright it hurts. My head throbs intensely with the worst hangover I think I've ever had. Visions of the night before swirl around my head like remnants of a vivid dream. A nightmare. Snapping upright, I rub my temple with my hand, trying to make sense of the blur of memories. But even when they seem to finally all fuse together, only one thing is clear. Him.

Lux.

The way he touched me. Looked at me. A chill runs down my spine and a familiar ache builds low in my belly at the memory of what he did. What we did.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

I huff, quickly grabbing my phone from the nightstand. Texts from Naomi pop up on the glowing screen.

What happened to you last night??

Bitch wake up! Videos of Lux dragging you away are all over TikTok!

We're grabbing Starbies and heading to you. You have to tell us the dirty deets!

Tucking my hair behind my ear I quickly unlock my phone and rush to TikTok in search of the videos she's talking about. She was right. The moment the app opens I'm flooded with tags and DMs all asking me about the video. About Lux.

The video, though blurry, shows a very agitated Lux pushing the cirkie to the ground and grabbing me. Whoever filmed it followed us for a few moments before losing us in the thick crowd of people. Thankfully, that"s the only thing they seem to have caught on camera. The last thing I need is to find out theres a fucking circus sex tape out there of Lux going down on me at the back of the tent. I click my phone closed, and fall back into the down pillows behind me.

"Ow, what the hell!" I shout as a stinging pain radiates across my thigh. Tossing the blankets off I quickly look for the cause of the pain. On the inside of my right thigh, I find a bright red patch of burnt flesh. Carefully, I run my fingers gently across it as the memory of how it got there becomes more clear.

He branded me.

And I got off on it.

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

My phone vibrates in my hand again signalling the girls are probably almost here and god knows what kind of mess the house is in. Forcing myself out of bed, I quickly make my way to the bathroom.

"Jesus I look like shit." I won't have time for a shower before they get here, but I can at least look less…disgusting. I turn on the hot water, and grab a clean cloth from the drawer to wash away the filth from last night. When I'm finished cleaning myself up and brushing my teeth I decide I better go see what kind of mess Dad left for me.

Making my way down the narrow hallway, I pass his room and peer inside. His bed is dishevelled but he's nowhere to be seen. Weird for a Saturday but not unheard of. Rounding the corner to the kitchen, I'm smacked in the face with the putrid stench of vomit. It's so strong I have to cover my mouth and breathe through the long sleeve of my hoodie to keep myself from gagging.

The granite counter Mom had to have in the last reno we did before she passed, is covered in vomit. Splatters of it cake the walls and kitchen rugs, but it doesn't stop there. I step over the dried chunky puddles of puke to get to the living room only to find Dad's spilled beer.

"Of course" I muffle into my sleeve. Around the living room, the thick beige carpet is stained with more piles of puke.

How much puke can one person have? I roll my eyes, and sigh. "Great. Just fucking great." I don't even know why I'm surprised he just fucked off and left the house looking like this. Dad doesn't give a shit about anything anymore. And why should he when he has me to clean up the chaos he creates.

Grabbing the carpet shampooer, I quickly get to work. Scrubbing, vacuuming and wiping down every speck of disgust my dear old Daddy left behind in his drunken state. I collect the beer cans and bottles in a recycling bag and toss them outside in the bin by the garage. The girls will be here any minute and not that they'd ever judge me for my Dad's mess, I don't need them to witness it. Lord knows even I don't want to have to see it.

With the garbage taken out and the carpets drying I head to the kitchen. The dishes from my lasagna are still sitting in the sink and today's newspaper is scattered across the dining table. I rush to clean them up, stacking them neatly in a pile in the center of the table, but a white paper slips out and makes its way to the floor. Picking it up, I notice it"s addressed to my dad, with a giant ‘FINAL NOTICE' stamp in bright red across the front of it.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" The paper states it's the third time they've tried to reach Dad inquiring about the monthly mortgage payment. He's eight months behind and without immediate payment the bank will be repossessing the house at the end of the month. Dad has never mentioned any of this to me. Not even once.

My blood boils. This house meant everything to my mother. She renovated it just the way she liked it. It was her dream house, and now…Dad would rather drink away his days than make sure the mortgage is paid?

Naomi's car honks outside, signalling their arrival. Great. Perfect timing. I fold the white paper up and tuck it in my back pocket. Dad might be okay with losing moms house, but I'm not. I don't know how I'll save it, but I'll figure it out. I'll figure something out.

I greet the girls at the door, quickly snatching my cup of coffee from Naomi's freshly manicured hand.

"Easy, you savage! You almost spilled it all over my new bag." Looking back at her, I snarl over my shoulder jokingly and she smiles.

"Cause Daddy dearest wouldn"t just go buy you a new one if you asked him." Claire laughs as she kicks off her sneakers. "I think everyone in town knows you could ask your old man for anything and he'd kill to make it happen."

"I mean…you're not wrong." Naomi giggles. "But I've always been a Daddy's girl. Speaking of…isn't yours normally home on Saturdays? We didn't see his car when we-"

"Yep, usually. No idea where the piece of shit is but I can"t say I'm upset he's not here."

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine this morning? What happened?" Claire asks, seeming genuinely concerned about my comment, "and why does your house smell like the candle aisle at walmart?" I laugh, bringing the hot cup of coffee to my lips.

"Dad clearly got drunk last night and was in too much of a rush this morning to clean up after himself."

"Speaking about last night…" Naomi hints as we plop down on the oversized couch in the living room. "Are you going to tell us what happened?" She sips on the straw of her ice coffee and wiggles her brows at me with anticipation.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I reply. I can feel my cheeks flush as my lips pull into a coy smirk.

"Indira Connors, you lying bitch!" Naomi shouts, tossing one of the suede couch pillows at me.

"What!" I giggle. "Really, I have no clue what you're talking about."

"Oh, right! So one of the most viral men who has never, let me repeat NEVER so much as touched a girl, as far as anyone knows, just happened to drag you away from a party last night after ripping one of his employees off you and you have nothing to say about it?" Naomi replies sarcastically.

I roll my eyes. Clearly they aren't going to give up until I tell them everything, and if I'm honest…I'm dying to tell them. To tell anyone. Like saying it outloud will make it feel more real. Though I don't know why I doubt it. The burnt flesh on my inner thigh is a sure enough sign that Lux not only touched me, but branded me too.

"Look, you don't have to give us all the details-"

"Bitch yes she does! Of course she does." Naomi interrupts.

"I just meant that, we're your friends, Indie. We just want to make sure you were safe and that that freak didn't hurt you," Claire explains.

"Freak?" I retort. The nickname for Lux catches me off guard. I knew people weren't fond of him, and I mean considering the type of establishment he runs, I can't really say I'm surprised. But freak?

"Well duh," Naomi adds, rolling her eyes at me before turning back to Claire. "But I mean, if she tells us everything that happened, every little detail, then wouldn't we get to know she was safe and that he didn't hurt her? Just with all the fun bonus content too." Their bickering just adds to my pounding head.

"I'll tell you everything. Just stop your bitching before my head explodes," I reply. Bringing the cup to my lips, I chug down another few gulps of coffee before turning my sights back to my friends. "Okay first...Nothing super exciting even happened, he dragged me away to a storage room for christ sakes."

"Mm-hmm and what happened in this storage room?" Naomi comments in search of answers.

"Well…" I smile, unable to hide the effect the memories have on me. Even now I can still feel his touch on my skin, and everytime my thighs touch each other, the sting from his branding reminds me of just how fucking close he was. "He went down on me." I spit out quickly.

"HE WHAT?!" Claire shouts.

"You're lying! There is no way!" Naomi jumps up from her seat with shock.

"I'm not!" I laugh. "Really. I can't remember word for word what was said, I remember feeling really dizzy, and sort of out of it, but he wanted me to leave. To go home. He said girls like me didn't belong there, and then asked why I came."

"Oh my god! What did you tell him?"

"I told him I came to find release and well… you can figure out the rest."

"So he wanted you to leave, and in order to convince you to do what he wanted, he let you ride his fucking face?" Naomi replies with shock as she tries to piece it all together. "Wait! You rode his face! No one has ever seen his face, and you rode it?!"

"Well, yeah I did but I didn't see it. At least I don't think I did. His mask was like, tilted up, and I mean, I had other things on my mind."

"Yeah and in your box, whore," Claire chuckles. I slap her playfully.

"I'm going back to see him tonight," I state. The tension in the room quickly changes. The girls exchange a look, and the excitement they were experiencing just a moment ago seems to vanish. "What?" I ask, noticing the change.

"It's just that, well. We're worried. I mean, Lux isn't a good guy, Indie," Claire explains.

"We knew he was famous on socials, but since the video of the two of you went viral, we, among others, have done some research and he isn't a good guy," Naomi confesses. I'll admit, I'm curious about the research they claim to have found, but part of me feels like it doesn't matter.

"Some even call him the devil incarnate," Claire says, looking worried.

"Okay, well, that"s a bit extreme don't you think?" I laugh. "I mean, he's just a guy, and you can't judge him based on what a bunch of people online say."

"Maybe not, but it's something to be cautious of. I don't think you should go back tonight, especially since it's clear to everyone he has a thing for you."

"It's weird right?" Naomi adds, "Cirque Du Désir has been around for years, with Lux running it and never has he ever fucked with a customer. There are no videos, rumors, or even photos of him with any customers. Yet you, he not only stole from one of his own men, but then ate you out in the back of the fucking circus!"

"I never said it made sense, just that it happened." Even to me it doesn't make sense. With his fame, even just on social media, Lux could have any woman he wanted. That I am sure of. I don't know why he chose me, or what drew him to me, but as I clench my thighs and again feel his stinging touch, I find myself thankful he did.

"Just think about it okay? And be careful…please?"

"Yeah and do your research before you go back there tonight. There is some fucked up shit in that guy's past," Naomi adds. She checks her watch and quickly makes her way to the door. "Claire, we gotta go. I still have to drop you off, and I'm gonna be late for work."

"Shit, okay." Claire replies quickly gathering her purse. "Promise me…"

"I promise, I'll be careful." I smile. After hugging them goodbye, I see them out before locking the door behind them. With them gone, I quickly make my way back to my room in search of my laptop. I don't know what past the girls are referring to, but I'm going to find out.