9. Chapter Nine

Diggy Graves - Circus Psycho

Another busy night. Good. And so far, no one has mentioned a single word about my laying claim to Indie last night. I'm assuming Dolly's absence tonight is the reasoning behind it. The cirkies may be a bunch of low life addicts, but even they know better than to test me. Most of the time. Dolly was smart, she survived in my world for longer than most. But in the end, she ended up in the same place she was always meant to be, like the rest of them.

Lost. Forgotten.

The tension is thick around the big top tonight. Everyone is doing what they're supposed to. Even Casey is getting railed by her third customer of the night, forgetting completely about her period or the pains she supposedly has, once I spiked her drink with MDMA. Though, just because they've stayed silent so far, doesn't mean I haven't noticed their looks. Their attitude change. Some, seeming more fearful, but others are angry. Some have the look of defiance in their eyes, and that's never a good thing. So, tonight will be spent reminding them of who's in charge and just how far I'm willing to go to keep my throne.

I'll admit, Johnny was the one I was most worried about, but that fucker couldn't care less. As long as he gets to sink his dirty cock into someone's pussy he doesn't give a fuck who it is. After my little slip up with Dolly last night, it was Johnny who came by my trailer, having noticed she wasn't around to collect commissions. That fucker took one look at Dolly's lifeless body on the tarp I used to drag her out of my trailer and popped a boner. Apparently he had been trying to hit that shit for weeks, and Dolly wouldn't allow it.

Not that I'm surprised. Dolly was a whore, but only for money. The only guy she ever even considered fucking with out payment in the years I knew her, was me. And there was no way in hell I'd ever let her touch me or my cock. Johnny finally got what he wanted though. Didn't give a shit that she was cold, stiff and lifeless. Nope. He fucked that dead bitch like it was the ultimate prize, and when he finished, he washed my jizz from her face with a golden shower.

I couldn't bring myself to turn away from the whole ordeal. The anger and aggression Johnny must have built up to fuck like that is wild. After he was done, he stayed up all night helping me dig her a hole out in the field and we tossed her in. Covered her up and that was that. Gone. Forgotten.

The worms will take care of the rest, and let"s face it. Dolly only had this circus. The cirkies were her only family. No one is coming for Dolly.

To make sure tonight isn't spent doing the same shit, I'm breaking my own rules, again. But this time to instil who's in charge. I'm indulging in the company of a woman. A woman who"s very touch on my lap makes me want to lose it. Every fibre of my body is tortured by her presence, and yet, it's needed. Both to wash away the thoughts of Indie and to draw the attention away from her after that little video of us lastnight went viral today. So I sit, silently, hiding my displeasure behind my mask while she giggles and whispers dirty things in my ear.

She thinks she's going to get lucky tonight. That she's going to be the next girl to go viral for being seen with me. Maybe she will. But she'll never be her. She'll never be Indie.

Fuck. Thoughts of her are dangerous. Especially right now. My head has been plagued with visions of her since the moment she left last night. From the moment I had Indie kicked out of here and told her never to come back, I have been waiting. I know she's coming back, and it's why my eyes haven't left the entrance flap of the big top. The fact that I know she's coming has me smirking with anticipation behind my mask.

"I can help you take care of that if you want," the bitch whispers against my ear as she grinds her ass on my lap. Fuck. Thoughts of Indie have me rock hard, and clearly this chick thinks it's because of her. I don't reply with words. I just grunt, and turn my head away to scan the crowd.

The DJ's music is bumping tonight, and the dance floor is packed full of people completely wasted and living their best lives. It's ironic. I sit here, watching, helping others fulfil all their forbidden desires while secretly suffering without mine.

I don"t know what it is about her that aches me so. I can't shake her, and she sure as fuck doesn't make it easy. Maybe it"s the fact that she's living a life so wholly different from mine, and yet when she looks at me. She sees me. Truly sees me. I shake my head. Who am I kidding? Indie and her friends came here for a night of fun. They don't actually want guys like me. With trauma that will darken their light. They just think they do. Once the circus has moved on, Indie will too.

As if sensing my thoughts are filled with her, my eyes land on the very figure of my turmoil. Indie. She pushes her way through the crowd of customers and cirkies. Tonight, her hair is straight and hanging loosely around her face. A face she must"ve spent hours working on tonight, Thick black eyeliner, and light dusting of sparkles across her eyelids. Her lips, nude with a light gloss, but it's the dress she wore tonight that has my heart in my throat.

A thin black lacey dress that fans out in strips of fabric around the bottom. It barely reaches the middle of her thigh, but just high enough that the mark I gave her remains hidden. The dress is embellished with thousands of tiny crystals that glint in the dim light around the big top, drawing attention to the one customer I want everyone to ignore.

Eyes find their way to her as she makes her way closer to where I'm seated. On my throne, with a random chick I can't stand grinding my lap.

They all recognize her.

Of course they do. My little stunt last night put the spotlight on not only myself, but her too. I find myself curious as to how Indie will react when she sees the slut on my lap. Will she be angry? Or will that fire inside her make a reappearance.

"Come on. Let me help you with that, baby. I know a little trick with my tongue that I can't wait to show you." the bitch on my lap whispers again. Wrapping her arm around my neck, her fingers find their way to the hair at the base of my neck and play with it. It takes everything in me not to throw her off me. Her gentle touch and seductive words do nothing but bring me back to the nights The Man would slip inside my room. It's all anyones touch does. Except hers.

Lifting her eyes, she finally turns her sights in my direction, but it's not me she looks at. No. It's the trashy girl posted up on my lap that has Indie's attention. My stomach coils. A heated mix of jealousy and anger sparkles in her beautiful brown eyes. She's pissed. My cock twitches with excitement as she pushes through the crowd more aggressively now, clearly eager to give me a piece of her mind. Reaching us, she stops a few feet in front of my throne, and places her hand on her hip. Fuck. She is stunning.

Delicious too.

"Lux, I need to talk to you," she shouts over the music. The girl on my lap laughs and leans against my chest.

"He's busy, sweetheart."

"And apparently he's a cowardly bitch too if he needs you to speak for him," Indie laughs. Behind my mask, my lips pull into a smile. Indie likes to play, and she can dish it as good as she takes it. Well, that's new, and intriguing. Staying silent, I watch and listen as the girls have their little spat.

"Or he's just not into things he's already had. I mean, look at you. Even I can tell you're nothing special," the bitch on my lap mocks. Indie's face drops for a split second, but that"s all it takes for my silence to break.

"I thought I told you to never come back here."

"Aw, poor thing. So, she's ugly and stupid." The girl on my lap adds, placing a hand over her chest.

"Well, at least I'm not a dumb ass bitch that thought she was going to be the next me. You may be the whore that all of Casselman's married men cum all over, but has Lux even touched you? Or have you just been a desperate slut rubbing yourself all over him?" Indie grins, and I can't help but feel turned on by how fucking vicious she can be when provoked. "Because sweetheart, if he did touch you…you definitely wouldn"t be just sitting on his lap. Trust me."

"Fuck you. I'm gonna kick your ass you stupid-" my anger gets the best of me and I stand, tossing the bitch to the dirty floor. She scoffs, looking up at me but I ignore her. I don't give a fuck about her. She could've landed on her head and bled out in front of everyone and I still wouldn"t have torn my eyes from Indie's.

Grabbing her, I pull her close enough I can taste her on my tongue. Tilting my ask up the slightest bit, I run my tongue alone her jaw and ask, "Why did you come back, Indie? I told you last night, girls like you don't belong in places like this." Around us people are watching. Their eyes drifting from the sectioned off shows to the center of the ring. To the main show. Indie.

"Who are you to say where girls like me should or shouldn't be? I bet I could easily find someone in here who disagrees with you and would happily show me a good time," she spits as she crosses her arms over her chest. Looking down on her, she tilts her chin upright, lifting her eyes directly to mine.

"Make no mistake Indie, I won't save you from your stupidity a second time. I'm not the knight in shining armor you seem to think I am. I'm not your savior. I'm the villain and I will sit here and watch as you make a drunken fool of yourself. You will regret coming back here," I warn. Behind my mask I'm smiling. This little toe to toe game we have is exciting, fun.

"I belong here as much as any of them," she replies, gesturing to the crowd who is now all focused solely on us.

"Oh? So you're a whore, are you? Did you come here to suck some cock for pocket change? Or to get railed by one of the sideshow freaks?" I laugh knowing full well how much my comment is going to anger her.

"No," she whispers. Only Indie and I know why she came back here. The vulnerability shining in her eyes confirms it for me. It's me she wants. My acceptance. My touch. Ironic, since it's her touch that my body is vibrating for, and yet, it can never happen. Not again. I need to be cruel. I need Indie to fear me, because fear is power, and if I have power over her I can make her leave for good.

Only then will she be safe.

"No, of course, you didn"t. Poor naive little Indie." I laugh mockingly as I lift my gloved hands to my eyes and mimic a sobbing eye-rub "I bet you've never even sucked a cock before, have you?"

"Pfft, of course I have!" she spits, rolling her eyes in defiance. Hmm. Knowing this angers me, and it shouldn't. My emotions catch me off guard. I don't know what game she is playing at, but I refuse to let her win.

"Well then," I add, lifting my arms wide as I gesture to the surrounding people. "Let's see how good you can suck a cock then, Indie. After all, Cirque Du Désir only hires the best." Slowly, I lower my hands to my waist and watch as Indie's eyes trail the movement. Unbuckling my belt, I reach into my jeans, wrapping my hand around my cock as I carefully free it.

The crowd moans and groans. Some people take their phones out to record and snap pictures. But none of that matters. I watch as Indie's eyes find their way to my cock and widden. Her succulent lips part, and pause as she sizes me up. Her cheeks flush with that beautiful pink color I was blessed enough to witness last night. People around us begin to whisper and laugh. Noticing, Indie pulls her eyes from my cock, and glances around at the people watching. Her eyes flicker with fear and embarrassment, and yet, she steps towards me and she turns her lust filled gaze to mine as lowers herself infront of me.

Well fuck.

I didn't see that coming.