Chapter 32

Chapter 32

I hid in my dorm after Astrology club, staring at the light of the full moon through my window, contemplating how I got here and what I was doing with my life. I considered going to sleep, but I felt too anxious to do anything but overthink my entire life.

Flashbacks of Adrian bending me over Marcus' desk after Astrology Club played through my head, and the way my body reacted to that thought was shameful at best. I was completely torn between these two men, and it wasn't fair to either of them.

Marcus made it pretty clear that he was all in with me now. He treated me well, and he was figuring out what I liked with more adept understanding than I even had. He was close to my age, easy to talk to, hot as hell, a literal immortal vampire, and he rode a motorcycle. The green flags were so abundant, it was almost suspicious.

His only red flag, in my mind, was that for some unexplainable reason, he wanted me . There had to be something wrong with him, because no one else ever had.

As made clear by exhibit B, my way too aggressive, way too harsh professor, who told me to stay away from him and invited me to an intimate dinner in the same breath. The guy who left a mark on my lip while he kissed me, lost his temper when he saw me with someone else, and demanded I stop thinking about him, while I was bent over a desk, and his lips were brushing my ear.

His sparkles of interest in the blackened surface of his hatred were so intriguing, I couldn't look away. Those flags were redder than cherry pie, and that spoke to some fucked up part of my self-esteem that was more comfortable with the familiarity of rejection than the suspicious kindness of acceptance.

I hated this. Where was the middle ground? I couldn't choose one without affecting the other, and until I learned how to reject a mark, we were all stuck in this mess. The only question was, if I did know how to reject one of them, whose mark would I erase?

I grabbed my phone and stared at Adrian's name in my contacts. I flipped past Ceto's and landed on Marcus. I scrolled back and forth and back and forth. My thumb hovered over the call button, knowing better than to actually touch it.

Was it bad that I was kind of enjoying the thrill of these full moon nights? Somewhere deep in my gut, I craved how good it felt, how it made my heart race, and the intensity of it all. I should have done the movie night thing with Marcus, but that was so bland and safe and sane compared to, I don't know, getting eaten out by a fish demon with wings or fucking in an outdoor hot springs while my classmates were in the nearby hotel.

I was definitely a slut on the inside. A slut with problems.

I drew another disappointed breath into my lungs, accepting I was going to go back to a life of safe abstinence, when my phone buzzed on my nightstand. A hot tingle spread through my chest when I saw the name on the screen.

Marcus: How is your night progressing, Baby Doll?

Me: Frustrating.

I replied bluntly. He was probably laughing on the other side of the line. After he'd toyed with me all day, it felt wrong that he'd let me end the night alone in my own bed. But that was at least partially my fault.

Okay, entirely my fault. The second Adrian had asked me to stay after class, my whole heart skipped a beat, and I felt like another dumb girl who was desperate for any scrap of attention he offered. I'd ruined my chance to have any fun tonight, because I was jumping through hoops for the wrong guy.

Maybe that didn't have to be the end though. Marcus must understand the complexity of the situation, considering he and his brother share some of the same curse. He knew I had both of their marks on me. Maybe he didn't care? I was assuming the worst, when he was texting me as comfortably as he always did.

Marcus: Need a friendly hand?

That question gave me even more hope. I didn't want to call it on our relationship yet, and my whole body relaxed at the fact that he wasn't acting angry or disinterested.

Me: Do you know someone who has one?

I hit send, getting a spike of adrenaline as I made my first decent attempt at flirting. He'd shown me another side of himself today that I hadn't seen since the night in the hot springs, and I wanted to show him I could match his energy.

Marcus: You have two, silly. But if you need instruction on how you should use them, I'd be happy to offer some instruction.

Me: I'm listening.

I closed my eyes as soon as I finished typing, which only amplified how loudly my pulse was beating in my ears.

When my phone buzzed again, I took a deep breath before I let myself peek at the message.

Marcus: It'll be easier to give you instructions with a visual. Why don't you show me what you're wearing.

Heat prickled all over my body, and I contemplated how bold I was really feeling. I drew in a deep breath, undid a couple buttons on my blouse until my bra was just barely visible at the right angle, then held up my phone and snapped a selfie, looking as cute as I knew how. I took ten or fifteen trying to get the angle, pose, expression, and lighting just right.

Me: Where should I start?

I sent the photo and waited nervously for a response. This was so bad. I wasn't this flirty and confident. It was dangerous to send photos that I couldn't ever delete. Even if I was fully dressed, it still felt like a battle between my sound mind and my hormones.

Marcus: You look so tense and nervous, Baby Doll. Lay back, get comfortable. It won't feel as good if you don't let go a little .

I rubbed his mark on my neck to convince myself not to put the phone down.

Me: Like this?

I leaned back on my bed, propping myself up on my elbows, then sent another picture that captured a full upper body shot, down to the waist band of my uniform skirt.

Marcus: That's a good start. Now try lifting your blouse. Pull it all the way up to your collar bone.

I was glad he couldn't sense my heartbeat through the phone as I did as I was told. I tugged the material over my ample breasts, and I positioned the phone to take another picture.

I hesitated to take the shot. I was still wearing my skirt and a simple t-shirt bra. My swimsuit was more revealing than this. But this felt so much more intense.

I watched the rise and fall of my chest in the front facing camera. The cups of my bra cut slightly into the fullness of my breasts, making them appear bigger than they already were. Another message buzzed before I could commit to sending another shot, and I read it in the pop up notification, while still staring at my image on the screen.

Marcus: Unhook your bra. Leave it at your bedside. You won't need it for this.

Chewing on my lip, I listened to that too. I unlatched the front closure, then threaded the straps down each sleeve so I could remove it without removing my shirt.

Marcus: Now send me another picture. Show me you're being my good girl .

I secured my blouse between my teeth so it wouldn't slide back down, then I held up the camera. My whole hand was shaking now. As I stared at my perked nipples on my bare chest, I was painfully turned on and terrified at the same time.

Was this really okay? I could trust him, couldn't I? I knew much more destructive secrets about him than a silly nude shot would be, but to me, this kind of intimate interaction felt more significant than talking about vampires or astrology or shifters ever could.

I wished I was shifted right now. While I hadn't known it at the time, looking back at the last two full moons, I felt so much more bold when I was, apparently, in Virgo form. I didn't worry about stupid things that normal, Human Lila worried about. I could make exciting, fun, slutty decisions, like letting Marcus walk me into the hot springs, or letting Adrian fuck me in midair over a bustling cityscape.

Right now, I couldn't even convince myself to snap a photo of my bare chest for a guy I'd already sort of, technically slept with, who I let feed on me once a week, who I'd made out with more than once, let finger me in the science department hallway—not to mention in the middle of class—and whose mate mark I had on my neck...

I couldn't do it. I pushed back down my blouse, crushed and frustrated by my own inability to play along, but too embarrassed to form an argument my brain would listen to. I got up and paced around my dorm room, defeated and anxious about the whole thing. I glanced out my window, where the full moon was already high in the sky, then I stormed towards the door, and exited into the hallway. I made my way down to the exit from the women's dorms that led into the courtyard. I placed my hand on the door handle and breathed through a ten count.

I knew it would latch from the inside the moment I stepped through it.

Holding my breath, I turned the door handle, and I shoved open the escape. The moment that barrier was out of the way, the surge of the moon's power hit me in full, and a rush of adrenaline filled my core. It was thrilling, freeing, incredible, tense—the cold sweat on my brow was counteracted by the buzz of power and excitement in my core. The difference between my headspace within my room versus my headspace now was as dramatic as night and day.

I held up my phone camera again, and I tucked my hair behind my ears. My pointed, inhuman, shifted ears.

A half smirk tugged at my lips, embracing this new me. I might not know what I am or what gifts this transformation had given me, but the surge of confidence was worth whatever the price of admission might be. I headed deeper into the night, soaking in those warm, perfect moon rays.

Marcus: Are you still there?

His message pinged as I arrived at the huge dragon fountain in the Graves Academy courtyard. I tucked the phone into my waist band, then I stepped over the edge of the basin into knee deep water in a fifty foot diameter pool. I sloshed through to the massive stone beast at its center, then tilted my head back to take in the view of a classic medieval European dragon roaring towards the sky. The main water source for the fountain poured out of a spout in the dragon's open mouth, and thin, wide streams cascaded down the frame of its large, spread wings, creating liquid patagia between sharp, stone limbs.

Along the dragon's back, there were several hundred small, rounded spikes that followed the line of its spine down to the tip of its tail, each one was tipped with another small spout that dampened the entirety of the statue in a permanent veil of water. I used its scales and spikes as handholds and footholds to climb to the base of its neck. My unusual athleticism and agility surprised me, and I attributed that to transformation too.

Under the moonlight, atop that stone beast, I slotted my body in between two rows of spikes. The positioning was perfectly spaced for one stream to massage my ass, and the other to so perfectly hit my clit. I lifted my skirt and spread my pussy lips to allow better access to that little teasing spigot.

I closed my eyes and sank into the pleasure of it, rocking slightly to increase the stimulation. I let the endorphins build slowly, focusing only on the ride, while I held my camera high and snapped a picture.

Marcus: Holy shit, Lila.

Marcus was speechless, and I liked being able to do that to him. Even more emboldened, I lifted my blouse to my neck. I spread cool water over my naked skin, intensifying the cold breeze and instantly perking my nipples into hard nubs. The feeling of nakedness in the open cold, paired with the water on my clit, had me buzzing. I bit my lip and shifted my hips closer to the stream, increasing the pressure of the water. I couldn't keep a composed expression anymore, but I wasn't afraid to unravel right now .

Squeezing my slick breast for the camera, I sent another photo.

Marcus: Fuck, Baby Doll. You're being incredibly unfair right now.

Unfair? I'll show him unfair.

Me: Am I? Or are you? This fountain is a poor substitute for the Aquarius, but since you're not here, I'm doing what I can.

I sent a coy taunt, before I switched over to video mode on my phone, ready to hit the nail into the coffin. I held my camera as steady as I could as I hit record with my thumb.

I panned down my body, giving a clear view of my glistening, naked breasts, and the way that fountain pressure had my knees shaking under my waterlogged skirt. I kept it stable as I lifted my soaked uniform pleats for a full view of my pussy, spread and against the stream. I let it carry me to the edge, then when I couldn't take the emptiness inside me anymore, I leveraged myself up with the strength in my thighs, then slowly sank down on top of one of the long, thick stone jet streams. I lowered my hips, capturing for the camera the way my pussy swallowed the thick, rounded rock like the perfect dildo.

God, that felt good. The texture reminded me of Adrian's scaled Pisces dick, and I was going to enjoy reliving every one of those memories. I nearly forgot I was still recording as I lifted my hips and dipped down again, and again, enjoying the way that friction rubbed inside me, while one jet stream continued to massage between my folds, and another hit me too perfectly in the ass .

I couldn't help the little moans as I fucked myself on the fountain. I stopped the recording, no longer able to focus on anything else, then I tapped the pop up with his next message, and I hit send without bothering to read it in full. Something like "Where are you?" that I couldn't be bothered to answer. I would get back to teasing him when I was done, but I didn't have the mind for any distractions right now.

There was no point in telling him anyway. With the full moon out, he wouldn't come for me. It was too risky.

But I was going to come for him, even if we were miles apart.

Throwing my head back, I listened to the distant howls of Graves' midnight monsters, creating a symphony of wildness on this full moon night. Whatever kind of beast I was tonight, I was going to be a very content one.