Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"This is one of my favorite restaurants," Adrian said. "It has a lovely view of the sunset over the mountains, and the food is second to none."

I stared out the window, fidgeting in my seat and twiddling my thumbs. He was dressed as nice as I was, wearing a black, tailored sport coat and suit pants, with a mint colored shirt that brought out the turquois in his eyes. He was impossibly handsome while being a perfect gentleman, and this wasn't going to help me mitigate my already questionable crush on him.

I didn't make eye contact. This whole thing felt wrong. Professor Karras didn't even like me, let alone want to spend time with me. He'd told me as much, over and over again. What was I supposed to do here? Get to know him? All we ever really talked about was the mess we were in, and I didn't know enough about him to even open the floor for casual conversation.

I felt like an idiot for dressing up so much.

When we arrived, Adrian parked right by the entrance, and the valet opened our doors and took the keys. The fanciest place I'd ever had dinner was a basic local diner, and the glitz and glam of this already had me on edge in spite of the circumstances. My parents weren't flashy people. I wouldn't have expected Adrian to be either, honestly. But then, I gathered from Marcus that immortal, powerful, paranormal beasts probably didn't have money problems like the rest of us.

I clasped my hands in front of me, and we entered the restaurant together. He showed me none of the intimacy that Marcus showed me, but he shouldn't have, since this was a professional chat with a teacher.

The inside dining area seemed notably empty when we arrived, but it was still early, so I suspected it would start to fill up soon. Adrian had reservations regardless, so the hostess led us to a table on the edge of an empty balcony. She nodded to the professor, then left us alone with the menu.

The view was as incredible as he implied, but the open air design made me nervous for the soon to be setting sun.

"What if someone from school sees us here together? Regardless of what we're calling it, I don't see how this could be construed as anything other than a date by a random onlooker." I said, adjusting in my dress so the skirt didn't ride up too high while I was seated. Skirts like this loved to bunch up around my thighs and get swallowed by my pelvis if I didn't wriggle them into place.

"That won't be an issue. I've reserved the entire balcony area." His expression was soft, while his tone implied that was somehow no big deal.

"You can do that on a teacher's salary?" I teased, because those small moments of sarcasm really helped calm me down and make this feel less nerve wracking .

"I'm the head of the entire engineering department in a school where some of my students are literal demons from hell. I can afford a lot of things on a teacher's salary." He raised a brow at the question. "But I'm not trying to impress you. I wanted this to be private but with witnesses, so you could enjoy the food in a public enough setting. You would have been much more on edge if I invited you to my home."

I wanted to respond, but the waitress returned to ask for our drink order before I could come up with something clever.

"I'll have an old fashioned." He said, as though he'd done it a thousand times before. He glanced over at me. "You're old enough to drink, right? Would you like anything, Lila?"

Obnoxious. I pursed my lips at what felt like a low key dig to emphasize how much younger than him I was. He knew I was old enough.

"I would." I responded petulantly, taking his prodding like a challenge. I turned to the waitress and started out confidently with "I'll have the…" and I faded out in embarrassment when I realized I didn't know the name of any drinks. Certainly not anything that they'd serve at this place. I blanked on even the simple, normal, generic drinks, not remembering remotely what mixers were supposed to go with what alcohol. What did people mix vodka with again? Was orange soda with liquor a thing?

Yeah, a thing for children who eat gummy bears with their dinner. Think fast. Think fast —"I'll have vodka with tea." I announced in a last ditch effort to not sound like a kid. Tea was sophisticated, so putting vodka in it was obviously what sophisticated grown ass women did.

I cleared my throat and nodded, pleased with my improv skills.

The waitress didn't question it, so I felt pretty comfortable that I'd guessed right.

Adrian waited until she was fully out of ear shot before he let himself chuckle. "I've never seen that combination before."

"Me either." I admitted before I could catch myself. "I mean, I…" I shrank into myself, defeated. "Sorry, I really don't know what I'm doing. I'm not used to ordering drinks or elegant dinners or restaurants with tablecloths." I motioned to encompass the whole balcony. I glanced up at the sky next, where the moon would soon be rising. "I have a lot of reasons to be nervous and uncomfortable right now."

"Fair enough." Adrian conceded. "Take a deep breath, and I'll handle the order. I wasn't inviting you to embarrass you, I promise." The orange glow of the setting sun cast over our glasses as the waitress set down our drinks. Adrian ordered food for both of us, while I remained fixated on the fading glow of residual light.

"So why did you invite me here? I still don't understand." The tension was palpable, and for once, it wasn't the sexual kind. In the classroom, every stolen glance made my heart skip a beat, but this felt so different. There, I had reason to be there, and I was forced to interact with him, making every day a mix of fear, excitement, and defiance. Here we were somewhere we'd both come of our own will, and we were together by choice. Astrology Club was obligation. This was expectation .

I should have been happy about it—the fact that he was giving me the chance to get to know him and expressing a desire to get to know me—but instead I was too out of sorts to function. It was almost comical that this felt wrong, while stolen glances in a crowded school felt like ordinary day-to-day.

Before he answered, he lifted his glass, and I fumbled to do the same, sloshing some of the tea and vodka concoction onto my hand as I clinked his cup in cheers. I didn't even know why we were celebrating. I just followed along like a lost puppy.

Like a mutable Virgo following my Cardinal Capricorn.

"Cheers." He said with a soft smile that didn't suit his harsh features. "Take a drink, relax, and I'll explain."

I nervously sucked down my drink, hoping I might be less tense if I was a little buzzed first. Truth be told, the tea flavor cancelled out the vodka, and I didn't even mind it. I couldn't say if the drink was strong and well hidden, or if alcohol wasn't as harsh as I expected. I'd celebrated my twenty-first birthday alone at work, and my mom let me try her wine when I got home. My childish taste buds found the flavor of wine so unpleasant that it was my first and last experience with drinking.

"So what's your trigger this month?" I asked as the lights around the balcony came on. The remaining sunlight was still glowing behind the distant mountains, but darkness was creeping in quickly. "I'm guessing you're not worried about hitting it if we're in public together."

He gave an affirmative tip of his chin but didn't elaborate. Though whether or not he hit his triggers directly affected me, I was gathering they were a closely held secret. In his defense, I could see why someone might not want that information to be common knowledge.

"Correct. You're safe so long as you choose to be safe." Whatever that means. "First, I'd like to get a few things sorted. I'm guessing I don't have to explain my relationship with Marcus anymore." Oh .

"No, he cleared that up pretty well." I spun my straw around my glass, anxiously pushing the ice in circles. The sunlight continued to fade.

"Good, I was hoping we wouldn't have to talk about him." He took a slow sip of his old fashioned, then set the drink aside and fixated on me. His gaze was heavy. "The reason we're here together is partially to protect you from him," Protect me from him? It's not like he'd do anything to hurt me. "But it's mostly about better understanding you ."

The first peek of the full moon lifted over the mountains. I could barely see it, but somehow I could feel it. It was warm on this chilly night.

I was being dramatic. It was the moon. Moons weren't warm.

I drew in a deep breath, then released it shakily. "Like, you want to be my friend?" I asked purely ironically. I knew he didn't care about that. Adrian saying he wanted to understand me better was akin to a scientist talking about their interest in molecular fission, and not at all like a well-adjusted person talking about developing a relationship with a new acquaintance.

And yet, despite feeling dry about that statement, my heart was oddly racing in my chest. Not in an excited or flowery way though. It was more like I'd just consumed multiple energy drinks and was rapidly approaching a heart attack. The sudden burst of jitters nearly made me choke, while a new surge of energy pumped through my body. I squeezed my hands together beneath the table, trying to stabilize myself. Maybe it was the alcohol? I'd never been drunk before. This could be the feeling everyone was chasing when they willfully had one too many.

The waitress returned and placed an appetizer of pepper seared tuna on a bed of greens, drizzled with some sort of sauce. It looked and smelled wonderful, but a sense of nausea was now gripping my stomach.

Inhale. Exhale. Keep it together. No more drinks tonight.

Adrian's eyes bore into me. "No, more like I want to know what makes Lila Denton tick."

As if I was testing my ability to function, I spoke despite myself. "You want to know about my hobbies and my favorite flavor of ice cream?" I rolled my eyes, playing off the burn in my gut and the uncomfortable tingle prickling along my skin. I felt a cold sweat coming on, and I hoped the perspiration wasn't visible. "I'm completely lost on your motivations here."

Adrian's expression remained as intense as ever. He stared at me from across the table, absolutely unrelenting in his fixation.

Brushing it off best I could, I reached for my fork.

"Lila." He said my name with a harshness that shook fear down my spine and made my whole body jump. My fork thunked on the tablecloth as it fell from my shaking grip .

The moon was half visible now, but he wasn't transforming. Though his scent of tobacco and rosemary overpowered the fragrance of our food. He reached across the table, and I froze rigidly as his fingertips brushed along my cheek. His touch was gentle and intimate, and I couldn't breathe from the shock of it. He threaded his fingers through the curtain of my thick, dark hair, then he pushed it back behind my ear. He didn't say another word as he lingered there. He stroked my earlobe with his thumb, while the rest of his hand was still tangled up in my loose threads.

My pulse sped faster on each stroke, up and down the shape of my ear, exploring this small detail of my body with unsettling interest.

"W-what are you doing?" I stammered out the question. His eyes were pools of devilish intensity as he drifted his touch back across my face. My breathing was heavy but slow, and I focused intently on keeping it that way. Adrian brushed his smooth nails along the contours of my face, tracing a line beneath each eye, rounding the bridge of my nose, then following my cheek bone to my temple, where he tucked another lock of hair behind my other ear.

"If only you could see yourself right now." Adrian moistened his lips with his tongue, before the corners upticked in a snide grin. He withdrew his hand, but not a drop of tension receded with it. "My little accountant ."

Though I knew he was mocking me, I also couldn't help but latch on to his use of ‘ my .' Had he even realized he'd said it? That alone had my heart thumping loud enough for me to hear it. The sense of discomfort had subsided in favor of excitement, and my whole body was now buzzing with some unexplainable electricity. His skin in contact with mine was doing something to me that I would be hard pressed to explain. Upbeat, alive, exhilarated, confident—I'd not felt this good since the night in the hot springs.

"Is there something on my face?" So smooth . I was the queen of flirting.

He shook his head. "No. You're simply everything I ever imagined." That small statement had me biting a quivering lip. "More, actually."

Another heartbeat skipped. What was he talking about?

"It scares you, doesn't it?" Adrian said as he stood from his seat. "Astrology, I mean. The idea that the month in which you entered this world could make such a significant impact on your life, wants, and needs, and you have no power to change that. The fact that it's not fantasy, and it's not some silly flight of fancy."

"No. I-it's still just superstition." I stumbled over my denial. "Just because you exist, doesn't mean a horoscope written by some psychic has any merit." I was the mutable virgin, easily impressionable and manipulated, right? I didn't want that to be me. Something as arbitrary and nonsensical as the stars wouldn't dictate who I was. It was a system made up by humans. Even if Zodiac Shifters took on monstrous forms to match the legends, that didn't grant any credibility to nonsense fortune telling. That was what I wanted to believe.

That was what I chose to tell myself.

"With everything you've seen, you still think horoscopes are an invention of man?" He chuckled, and I was embarrassed to have argued at all. "To your credit, I wish that was the case as well. But it's not. The stars dictate every minute of my life, and they always have. What's fun mythology and superstition to humans is a ball and chain for someone like me."

"So what?" I did my best to remain defiant. His lot in life had nothing to do with me. "Your kind might be a slave to constellations, moons, and philosophy, but I'm not. Whether it has basis in reality or not, it's still superstition for me. There's nothing I need to be afraid of." My gaze followed his movements as he paced around the table and situated himself behind my chair. It was hard to say how the moon was affecting him now, but while talk of astrology wasn't rattling me, he definitely was.

"Is that so?" My professor placed a hand on each of my shoulders, and he squeezed harshly. I stifled a yelp, and he continued his speech. "You think you're free from the influence of the devil's designs?" He laughed and squeezed harder. I fidgeted in his hold to no avail. His grip was rough enough to hurt. "I suppose it's fitting that you would be so na?ve. You're so inexperienced , after all." The harsh reminder only served to burn in my cheeks. I hated that I couldn't argue that point. His sudden shift in intensity and personality only served to reaffirm what he was saying. "But perhaps I'm not being fair. After all I'm a Cardinal sign, an Alpha, and I have the blood of a monster in me. The Incubus in my blood changes the nature of my constellation-born prison in a way you couldn't possibly know." He slid his grip down to my biceps, keeping on the tension. He wasn't shifting into a Pisces or an incubus, so why was he acting so unhinged? Why was he touching me at all, for that matter? This wasn't an intimate outing. We were supposed to be professional, and he was supposed to be in control .

I faced forward, too scared to look at him, but I could feel his eyes drilling into me.

"Lesson time. Since I'm your professor, Miss Denton, let me teach you a little something about magic, shifters, and the zodiac." His hands slid back up to my neck. He interlaced his fingers around my throat, and rested his thumbs over my pulse on each side. He was no longer squeezing, but he assured that I knew he could if he wanted to. "As you may or may not have gathered, under the full moon, Hybrid species don't have the same control as full bred shifters. We're subject to unique effects, which are heavily influenced not simply by our crossbred genetics, but also by our status within the shifter hierarchy."

"Hierarchy?" I forced myself to engage, because I didn't want him to see me stumble. I'd heard a little from Ceto, but he'd barely scratched the surface, and I wasn't in the right headspace to recall all the specifics. My focus was entirely on my breathing, while in the back of my mind, I was fighting back the thought that he could take that simple function away from me at any time with the slightest increase in pressure.

"Alphas are at the top of the chain, commanding unmatched strength and respect. It's great privilege to be an Alpha." He pressed his thumbs more firmly into my pulse. I could feel my heartbeat in my neck as vividly as I could feel his through his touch. "Omegas are a valuable commodity who perpetuate the species. They're widely coveted for their fertility, and it's a gift to all shifters to be an Omega." He moved his grip upward until he was forcing me to lift my chin, then he gripped my chin and angled my head in line with his. He looked down at me, holding me in a cruel gaze from above. "Betas live at the bottom. They're the servants, the average, and the mundane. Their place is to be the drones in a functional world that serves to uplift and ease the passage of those more powerful, so Alphas and Omegas can move the species forward. You could say they're a disposable but necessary cog in a cruel machine, like peasants among kings and sorcerers."

I swallowed, at a loss for why he was telling me all this, yet filled with unexplainable dread at whatever point was coming.

Adrian released me, but remained at my back. I let my chin drop, and I hugged my arms around my chest, finding comfort in that allowance.

"That sounds cruel and archaic." I said. "What if you're a Beta and you want to make a difference in the world? What if you're an Alpha and you don't want to push people around? What if you're an Omega and you don't want kids?"

"Similar to astrology, these roles are innate and something we're born with. Heart is, at times, secondary to the restrictions of biology."

That may have been what he told himself, but I had a hard time believing heart was ever out of the equation among sentient beings. "You don't still live by those rules, do you?"

"Yes and no." He betrayed no emotion in his tone or expression. "The roles were once much more strict when shifters lived in their own closed off societies. Back then, opportunities, positions, and housing was segregated based on your status. Now that magic kind has come to coexist and intermingle more, many of those social expectations have been revamped to better reflect the modern world. What was socially acceptable thousands of years ago would draw too much attention now. "

I exhaled, like that mattered to me in any real way. "Then why does it matter?" This was too open. Too much information. Something was off. "If none of those rules apply today, are they really all so different?"

"Well, while Omegas are no longer openly and widely bought and sold as breeding stock, Betas are no longer trapped in positions of servitude, and Alphas aren't always expected to run their townships, there are still innate instincts and hard wired characteristics that can't be changed no matter how much social expectations evolve."

"I'm listening." I wanted him to get to the point. The lesson was great and all, but there was a clear and obvious sinister bend to every word, and the uncertainty was eating me alive.

"Please do, because this is the fun part." He answered as if I'd just walked into the trap he'd been setting. "You're a smart girl, so I'm sure you recall that things change for those who aren't just shifters. Shifters are the only species who exhibit Alpha, Beta, and Omega designations, so the Alpha half of me functions differently than it would if I simply carried the blood of various shifters instead of that of multiple species. For example, Alpha hybrids of the Zodiac like myself and my half-brother will only trigger their transformation with a specific set of circumstances, and we'll move through a modicum of different forms that match the season, opposed to a full blooded or non-Alpha Zodiac shifter who only exists as a singular star sign."

"I already know this." I fought my fear with defiance.

He combed his fingers through my hair again with eerie tenderness. "But when our bodies change, the battle between our inner beasts robs our human minds of all control and consciousness. Anything I do in that form, I won't be aware of until I shift back. All of the memories will hit me at once, and I'm left to pick up the pieces of my monster's transgressions. They're unfortunate circumstances, but there are worse things."

"What's worse than that?" I didn't want to face him as I took in that statement.

So he hadn't been conscious at all when he'd been with me? He only knew after the fact? Marcus had implied as much, but it was different when hearing it explained with more detail and finality. Not being in control was one thing, but having no consciousness was another.

I fought the urge to visibly frown. Possessed or not, magic or not, the idea that I lost my virginity to someone with no ability to choose me in earnest somehow felt worse. I didn't care about the institution of purity or the symbolic nonsense of my virginity, but somewhere in my heart, I'd told myself that he attacked me because he'd wanted me on a subconscious level that he couldn't resist anymore. It was more comforting to believe he didn't pick me simply because he was in a state of mania where absolutely anyone would have sufficed.

I couldn't say that out loud though. Not to him. He'd only shoot me down further and make me feel worse, reminding me that he didn't want me, that our relationship was inappropriate, and that we didn't have anything real here at all.

Why was it so hard for me to see him every day, while it was so easy for him to reject me?

I let my mind reel, and Adrian continued to thread his fingers through my hair, overpowering and overwhelming me with that scent of rosemary and cigarettes.

Then he bent down and whispered into my ear. "Worse, Lila…" His hot breath against my skin had my whole body rising in temperature. "Would be being born a Hybrid Beta." He fisted my hair roughly and held my head in place. I couldn't fight him if I tried. "A Beta will always be forced into shifted form under the moon, and they only get one form." The draw of air brushed my skin as he sniffed along my neck like a wild animal. "One irresistible form that any and every predator will want to claim for themselves." The tip of his nose brushed my jaw. "One who has no power, no strength, and no ability to resist subjugation, and will have no choice but to bend to their aggressor's will. An easy, breakable, and disposable toy."

My lip was quivering, and I couldn't stop it anymore. Every word was a visceral threat, but I was too rattled to vocalize a protest.

His lips brushed the top of my ear in a way that felt more vicious than sensual. "To make matters worse, Lila ," my name had become a curse on his tongue, "a Beta retains their consciousness while shifted, so they'll remember every wrong committed against them during a frenzied night under lunar influence." He stood upright, but I felt no relief as he drew his hands through my long hair, lifting the curtain of black locks behind my head like a pony tail. "You become the perfect slave, expected to serve and satiate any Alpha who has a taste for sweet, mutable little Virgos."

Those focused breaths became hyperventilation at record speed. I jerked forward, trying to find some safety from that declaration, but he kept me firmly in place .

This had nothing to do with me—nothing. I wasn't anything like that. I shouldn't be taking him so seriously, nor should I be identifying with the deep seeded terror that statement was pumping through my core. I was human. Human. Not a shifter, not a beta, not a monster, a beast, or a magic, supernatural creature from hell.

I'm human.

"Stand up." He spoke harshly, a demand without a hint of softness or mere suggestion.

I did as I was told, even though my mind was screaming at my body not to. He kept my hair balled in his fists behind my head.

"Now turn towards the window." His tone wasn't his usual stern and serious. There was an indescribable frequency to it, and every word rung through me like he was executing code programmed into a robot.

I rotated slowly, at a total loss to fight against anything that was happening. When I faced the large window pane, the darkness of the night paired with the mirrored glass reflected my perfect, vivid image back at me.

"What do you see, Lila Denton?" Adrian asked as he held me in place by my hair. His image leaned over me, encompassing everything that I was in his large and strong frame. "I want to hear you describe it."

It was my own eyes that I saw first. Eyes that were near glowing in their soft golden brown. The unusual color could have been explained away by lighting, reflection, or a glare, but the rest of me could not .

"My ears." I touched the lobes, following the once rounded contour to now pointed tips. "W-what the fuck is wrong with my ears?" Distorted glass? A fun house mirror? What was I looking at?

"You're a shifter, Lila." Adrian said, firmly and leaving no room for argument. I couldn't have made a case against him if I tried. "You're a Virgo hybrid. A Beta Virgo hybrid." He dropped my hair to my shoulders, then he cupped his hands over each side of my head, covering my elf-like points. "You're a monster, just like me."

"I'm a monster." I parroted him in idle disbelief, hoping my brain would catch up to my words. "I'm just like you."

"Only, you're not an Incubus, not a Vampire, and not some other shifter." He didn't move away. I didn't know if he physically could will himself to separate from me at this point. "So tell me, Miss Denton: What are you?"

The reflection showed the gloss of moisture in my eyes. No words came to me. Not in my mind, and not to my lips.

I'd lived through countless moons on countless nights in my twenty-two years on this earth, and this had never happened. I'd never felt like this or looked like this. I'd never shifted. I'd never seen my mother or my father shift either. This didn't make any sense.

Why now? Why here? Why tonight?

What changed?

Did he do this to me ?

Maybe he really was like a werewolf. He infected me. That had to be what happened. I'm not—I'm human, goddamnit.

A tear trickled down each side of my face, and still I couldn't make myself speak. I was in such utter shock, that my mind was already working to shut down the reality I was witnessing, finding a way to spin it into a lie.

"What's going through your head right now?" Adrian asked, his voice a low, dark rumble in my fog. His hands still rested on my bare shoulders, and I hated the way my body took pleasure in the warmth of his contact right now. "Are you regretting it yet? Getting mixed up with me?" He drew his hands down my shoulders to my arms again, nudging the straps of my dress on the way down. It was an accident, yet offered more than enough suggestion to paint a vivid mental picture of him intentionally undressing me. Because under this moon, paralyzed by every command of his voice, while his reflection towered over mine, and my brain was a war of shock, realization, and a need to…

To…

"I can feel your fear, Lila." He whispered into my hair. "I can taste it." He nuzzled into me like he couldn't help himself. "My beast may make you nervous, but it's your own that truly terrifies you, isn't it?" His slow breaths shook through his lips. "My little Beta Virgo."

My whole soul froze under that small and powerful declaration. His grip was tense, like he was trying to catch himself after letting those words slip. Like he was losing control.

Like I was making him lose control .

And I latched onto that weapon with every ounce of fight or flight pounding through my veins.

"Prove it." I demanded, with all the bite I could manage. "If that's really how this all works, show me your Alpha form. Show me that we're truly not the same tonight."

"What?" His turquois eyes widened, and his tight expression slacked.

Fire. I was playing with napalm in a dress soaked in gasoline. I was fucking reeling and confused and terrified and impossibly fucking turned on all at the same time, and I didn't understand a single damn bit of it, so I was giving up and shutting down and letting instinct dictate everything.

Tomorrow, I would have a lot to sort through. Tonight, I just wanted everything about my life to shut up and go away.

"Fucking prove it." I repeated more harshly now. I could feel his heart pound a beat faster. I couldn't say if it was his proximity or a result of the mark on my skin, but I could FEEL it. His grip tightened on my biceps until he was bruising my skin. I didn't care. "You think I'm so far below you? That you can intimidate and control me? Then trigger your transformation, and show me you're really this Alpha Hybrid and not some Zodiac Monster who infected me with your disease."

The slipping control was visible in his eyes, his breathing, his heart rate, and fluctuations in his grip strength. He was calling me a Beta—a servant, an impressionable mutable sign, and something less than him, and I couldn't accept any part of that. I wouldn't. I'd show him I had control by making this one, single demand. When he gave into it, it would prove he was wrong about me .

Please let him be wrong about me.

"Is that really what you want?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"Yes." I stated firmly. He was always questioning me, always expecting me to withdraw my consent. He thought I didn't know what I wanted, and I was sick of being belittled. Maybe I was shifted, and maybe I was out of my mind too. But right now, I felt bold and strong and confident enough to make my own demands.

I'll show him a fucking Beta.

"What are you waiting for? Trigger your transforma—" I didn't even get out the words before his claws started to extend from his fingertips and dig into my arms.

I stood completely still as powerful, massive blue wings shot from his back at the same time that scales formed on his skin, cascading down his body in a shiny blue wave. His ears sharpened, his hair darkened and fell around his face, and gill-like slits opened along his neck.

Knowing and anticipating it didn't change the impact of witnessing his new form in person.

All I could do was stand in stunned disbelief as the man at my back, holding me captive, took on the form of an incubus…

And the Pisces.