Chapter 49

My golden hair was curled into a neat knot on the back of my head, but a smooth lock fell forward down my cheek, fluttering there like a dangling string. I swatted at it, a smile lifting my lips as my eyes followed it dancing this way and that in the humid breeze.

"Leon," Gabriel hissed. "Concentrate."

"Sorry bro, sometimes my inner cat takes over and I can't help myself." I tucked the sleek golden lock behind my ear, observing the area as we glided along in a little wooden boat through the swamp.

Trees rose from the green water and the sounds of birds, croaking frogs and chirping cicadas carried from every direction. The heat was oppressive, and even though I only wore a tank top and shorts, I was sweating like a pig at a barn dance.

There were alligators in the water, peeking at us and acting like logs as if we totally couldn't see them. But I could see them alright. My Lion eyes didn't miss anything.

A creature exploded from the muddy water to my left, covered in muck and wet green stuff that flapped off its arms. Mud slapped into my face and I roared in fright, rising to my feet and making the boat rock wildly.

"Leon – wait!" Gabriel cried, grabbing onto the side of the boat for support as I prepared to blast this ugly motherfucker back to the base of the swamp where it belonged. "It's Geraldine!"

My hands fell still as Geraldine used her water magic to wash the green sludge off her face. "Yes, it is I, you foolish feline. I went dipping not twenty minutes ago to do some savvy surveillance, have you got a jillycrab between your ears that erased the memory of it all?"

"Honestly? I was trying to take a power nap when you were here before, and I didn't totally listen to what you were saying at all because there were a lot of words in it that didn't make a whole lotta sense to me. Then after you vanished, I guessed a gator had got you." I shrugged. "There's one creeping up on you now, by the way." I pointed to the alligator that was lurking in the water beside her and she back-handed it, making the creature swim away in fright. I'd never heard an alligator yelp before, but man, that scaly dude had yelped like a little bitch.

"As if I would be vulnerable to such a docile beast," Geraldine clucked her tongue.

I leaned down to help her out of the river but she ignored me, rising up on a pillar of swamp water then dousing herself in fresh water made by magic and stepping onto the boat in her tight-fitting swimming costume that had A.S.S. stitched over her tits. I wasn't certain if she had it on backwards or if it was some kind of cunning plan to confuse her enemies so they didn't know whether she was facing them or not.

"What kind of surveillance did you need to do at the bottom of the swamp?" I frowned.

"I didn't just flim-flam down to the belly of the slog, you Nemean numskull," she huffed. "I breast-stroked my way to our destination to see the whats and the wheres of it all."

"But Gabe can see what's coming," I said, taking my seat at the back of the boat again. "Why bother?"

"If you'd been listening, Leon, you would have heard me say I couldn't see too much of what was out there," Gabriel explained. "I believe there are Nymphs in this camp, concealing much from me. So Geraldine went ahead to check their positions."

"Yes, so if the nincompoop of a Lion could keep the cotton wool out of his ear canals, that would be most appreciated." Geraldine dried herself off with a towel, heave-hoeing it back and forth between her legs then behind her back, shimmying it left, right, and everywhere. Then she pulled on some shorts and put her boots back on, placing her flail over her knees and caressing its hilt. "And indeed, as suspected, there are Nymphs in the yonder. Twelve at my count."

"I bet I kill more of them than you guys," I said with a goading smile.

"That is a wager I will most certainly snaff, but what is on the line, oh golden Lion? Do you have the badgers to place something of true glitz at risk of being lost to a greater candidate?" Geraldine asked, wiggling her brows.

I looked to Gabe, not entirely sure what she'd just said.

"She accepts your bet," he translated. "As do I. But what does the winner get?"

"How about… the winner gets to dare the other two to do anything they want?" I suggested with a wicked smile, knowing I had this in the bag.

Geraldine slapped her thigh. "What fun. A deal is struck, dear comrades."

"And Gabe can't even cheat to see the winner, because you can't see Nymphs," I said smugly.

"I can see you being launched into the water with the gators though." Gabriel smirked, flexing his fingers in a threat.

"You wouldn't," I growled.

"Your fire Element is looking pretty tame out here in the swamp, isn't it?" Gabriel jibed.

"We'll see how tame it is when I'm building a bonfire out of Nymphs and warming my ass on it," I said cockily.

Gabriel released a breath of amusement, then used his water Element to push the boat along a little faster. We weaved through narrow waterways between patches of shrub-covered land, the swamp growing more wild with every turn we took.

"Not far now," Gabriel said just as we passed beneath a bent old tree, long fronds of moss draping over us and tickling my neck. I let out a light laugh, swatting them away but as we made it out the other side, my laugh fell dead in my throat.

Cages hung from the trees and bony-looking Fae sat within them, some of their hands hanging between the bars, reaching for a freedom that wasn't coming. At least until now. It was sick. These poor assholes had been strung up to die.

Nymphs patrolled beneath them along with a few asshole K.U.N.T.s in uniform, and my heartbeat picked up with the hunger for vengeance.

The concealment spells and silencing bubble around our boat meant our approach went unnoticed, and as the water gave way to a muddy stretch of land, Gabriel tied it off before stepping out and moving into the shadow of a giant acacia tree.

Me and Geraldine followed, the thrill of the coming fight thumping through my veins and willing me on. I was gonna barbecue me some fresh meat and win myself a bet.

A bright green frog ribbited as it dropped from the tree and landed on my shoulder, making me jerk in alarm, bringing my hands up in a ninja move.

"Oh, hey buddy," I whispered, taking him into my hand. "Are you a friendly little froggo?"

"Leon," Gabriel gasped, looking at the creature in horror.

"Holy hippopotamus, that's a galad frog," Geraldine hissed.

"He's ga-lad to see me," I said, tickling his head.

"That's one of the most poisonous creatures in the northern hemisphere," Gabriel growled. "Put. It. Down."

"The poison will make you hallucinate like a hogwired hermit," Geraldine said, matter-of-fact. "Then your brain will melt and drip right out of your nostrils like a melted candle."

Geraldine's face twisted, turning into a magpie that cawed at me. Caw, caw, caw, it went. Saying things only a bird would know how to reply to. But I was no bird, I was a beast, the king of the jungle.

Gabriel had turned into a banana swinging from a tree. A plump, fat, ripe banana. Good for the eating. But I had work to do before I could peel him out of that juicy skin and take a bite.

I tucked my new frog pal into my pocket and ran into battle, leaping out from behind the tree and round-housing a Nymph right in the face. Only I didn't do that because the Nymph was over there, and I was over here. But man, that kick would have really kicked him if I'd been closer.

Shrieks went up from my Nymphish enemies, charging towards me, but the ground had turned into a dance floor, and the call of music carried through my head. I pranced along, spinning and pirouetting, sending flames bursting out from me in every direction. Screams joined my music, a symphony of violence turning to lyrics that sounded oh so beautiful.

"I'm burning!"

"Ahhhh!"

"My eyes!"

I sang along with them, releasing a song I didn't even know the words to, but the stars gifted them to my lips. "Dieeee, dieeee, diee." Oh just one word, this song of mine had. But every time I sang that word, someone else screamed and more fire burst from me. Nymph ash danced around me in the air, turning to pink bubbles that I leapt up and tried to catch in my mouth. Ooh, yum. It tasted like candies and Christmas. I loved Christmas.

There were so many lights and a tree covered in baubles. Just like the tree walking towards me now. He was a tall, tall tree with swipey sharp fingers that swung for my heart. Oh naughty sharp-fingered Christmas tree. He really wanted to hug me. But I danced away, a giggle here and there in my throat as he tried to catch me. Then a terrible rattle in his tree lungs meant I couldn't play with fire anymore. But things were definitely burning around me. It was hard to see what exactly, because the swamp was swaying in time with the music and now I was spinning around, grabbing the arms of the Christmas tree and guiding him into a beautiful dance. Only I fell over and the tree came with me, his stabby hand almost stabbing me by accident, but I managed to roll us so I was on top. His jabby fingers jabbed at me again and I jerked backwards, hitting the ground and rolling, rolling, rolling.

Mud coated me, such sticky gloopy goo. It was blue now, glittery too, covering me head to foot.

With no more rattles in my ears, I set myself on fire. Oh to be on fire. Just my arms and chest, burny toastie, keeping me warm. Too warm actually. It was so freaking hot in this swamp, didn't they ever turn the AC on? I bet the alligators couldn't manage the dials though with their clumpy little claw fingers.

"Leon!" Gabe roared and I flopped onto my back, staring up at my giant banana friend, all yellow and dangly. The Christmas tree tried to hug him from behind, but Gabe twisted around and cut its head off with a black sword and it turned into tasty bubbles.

I gasped in horror, shoving to my feet and grabbing hold of the banana. "I'll eat you for that," I snarled. "You've ruined Christmas. There'll be no presents for baby Riblet now." I took him from my froget (my frog pocket) and held him up to his banana father. Riblet croaked and the banana tried to grab him with his big banana arms.

I snatched him away, hugging him to my chest to protect him, but then my brain felt weird and the world did a backflip, and somehow I was on the ground again.

Riblet slipped from my hand, jumping off away into the bushes and making me cry out for him as he abandoned me.

Someone was biting my neck, a big beast with three heads and a lot of fluff that pressed into my face. A rush of pure energy raced through my veins and ricocheted through me like lightning.

Then everything was very dark, and Christmas was well and truly over.

The sound of sloshing water and the crashing of breaking metal woke me from the heaviest of sleeps. I was bobbing in the wooden boat, my head pounding like a gorilla was hammering against the inside of my skull. A groan raked against my throat, and I leaned up to peek over the side of the boat, finding Gabriel and Geraldine releasing the prisoners from their cages.

I vomited into the swampy water, and an alligator gave me the side eye before swimming away, my gross self no kind of tempting to him right now. I felt judged. By him. By the stars. By Riblet. Fuck Riblet. That skeevy little turncoat.

"Gabe?" I rasped and he looked my way, striding over to me while Geraldine spoke with the freed Fae.

"You're awake," he said in relief, jumping into the boat and taking my arm, sending a wave of healing energy through me.

I sighed, feeling instantly better and just wishing he'd shown up before I'd thrown up in front of that judgey gator.

"Did I win the bet at least?" I asked.

"No," he said with a frown. "Geraldine won. You took down one Nymph and eight trees though, so…"

I groaned, running a hand over my face. "It was supposed to be my hero moment."

"You'll get another chance," he said, his eyes glinting with that knowledge.

"Did you know I was gonna do that today?" I asked. "Did you see me fucking this up?"

"No, Leon. If I had, I would have stopped it. You are so very fucking hard to predict," he sighed.

I smiled. "That was how we kept you from seeing us when Lionel had you."

"Yeah, it has its merits. But sometimes I worry I can't protect you like I can the others." He squeezed my arm in concern and I smiled sadly at him.

"I love that you try, bro."

"Are we quite done being two sentimental seals on the shores of our great conquest?" Geraldine strode over to us, waving a scroll at us. "I have just recruited many a member to our regal rebellion while you two dither and dather."

"Let's head back." Gabriel rose to his feet, his eyes glazing for a moment. "The others have had much success with the camps they hit too."

"There should be much to celebrate this night." Geraldine puffed out her chest. "Assuming the True Queens return with a shining achievement upon their breasts."

"Breasts." I chuckled under my breath.

"Do not be a delinquent orange and ruin this most grand of moments." Geraldine rolled her eyes at me. "Fate tolls the fine bells of triumph in our names once again." She raised her chin and lifted her flail in the air. "Victory is ours!"