Chapter 9

9

Z hoel stood in the dark, staring at the flicker of Christmas lights on the snow outside his window. Their cheerful glow felt distant, like a life he could never touch. Although he respected Lila’s decision to keep their focus on business for now, her emotional withdrawal stung. The attraction he’d felt growing between them had been replaced by the cold emptiness of distrust. He couldn’t blame her—not after he’d failed to tell her the truth about his faulty Iki’i.

Maybe she’s right to doubt me . What if their connection wasn’t real? After all, he’d misinterpreted his Iki’i time and again.

No. That couldn’t be right—every part of him felt the truth of it, coursing through his body like a low, thrumming pulse. His Iki’i had never been this insistent before. This tangible. When she was near, the connection between them didn’t waver. The more he thought about it, the more his chest tightened. Her nearness makes me stronger . Kirenai didn’t bond without reason. He felt Lila was his as sure as his own heartbeat, and delaying that truth until morning would only let her doubts eat away at whatever trust she had left.

He moved to the door and peered into the dark, silent hallway, heart pounding with a mix of trepidation and determination. The house was silent, the hallway lit only by the ambient glow of Christmas lights from downstairs. He’d agreed to her mother’s request not to move around the house during the night out of respect, but every moment that passed allowed more room for Lila to slip further away. And with his visa situation, he might not have much time left.

He needed to tell her about his flaw, and he needed to tell her now. It was the only way they could move forward, the only way she could truly understand his feelings for her. He knew the risks—she might reject him, might think him weak or incapable. But he also knew that the connection between them was real, and he couldn’t let it slip away because of fear.

Moving quietly, he stepped into the hallway toward Lila’s door. As he reached to knock, a wave of aroused desire nearly bowled him over. He hesitated, body instantly heating in response. Could this be from Lila? Though his Iki’i felt stronger around her, he still didn’t trust his interpretation. For all he knew, she could be inside sobbing with grief.

He took a deep breath and knocked softly on her door.

The sound of startled movement came from somewhere inside. After another few heartbeats, Lila opened the door, looking flushed and breathless. She wore a short nightshirt that clung to her curves and exposed her long, well-toned legs. An unmistakable drift of pheromones filled his senses, and he groaned involuntarily. Kuzara , she was magnificent.

“Zhoel?” she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper. She grabbed his arm and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him. “Come in before someone sees you.”

He entered, barely able to take in the room as dizzying waves of lust buffeted his senses. Before he could stop himself, he reached for her. Though instinct drove him forward, his logic braced for a rebuke. What am I doing? She’d been quite clear about her wish to keep their relationship professional.

His heart soared as she yielded eagerly to his embrace, rising to her toes and pressing her lips to his. My Lila .

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. Her hands roamed up his back, rucking his shirt up to skim her palms over his skin. The feather-light touch fanned the flames of his longing, making his mating rod stiffen to aching hardness.

He drew back just enough to whisper against her lips, “This isn’t what I came here for.”

“I don’t care. I can’t stop thinking about you.” She gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, pressing hot, wet kisses over his chest.

Groaning, Zhoel trailed a hand down the curve of her spine, pulling her hips against his. He cupped her ass, her flesh hot through the thin fabric of her nightshirt. Putting one hand beneath her jaw, he guided her back into a kiss, plunging his tongue into her again and again until she drew one leg up and wrapped it around his hip, her center exposed and hot. She isn’t wearing panties. Another moan escaped his lips. This woman would undo him.

His cock throbbed with anticipation and he gripped the smooth roundness of her ass, fingertips brushing the heated folds of her sex. She gasped, arching her back as he glided across her soaked cleft. He pressed between the folds, teasing the soft flesh as she rocked her hips against him and emitted small whimpers of pleasure.

As he trailed a line of kisses down her neck, his Iki’i thrummed with the pleasure of her arousal. This was how it felt to be complete. To have a mate who could share the joys of the universe with him.

Finding the swollen nodule of her clit, he circled it and murmured, “Tell me you feel the connection between us.”

“God, Zhoel,” she gasped. “I don’t want to talk right now. Please, just fuck me.”

His desire for her was nearly overpowering, but her words made him pause. He’d misread his Iki’i yet again. She wanted him, but didn’t really believe she was his mate.

You can’t force such a thing . The choice had to be hers. But he could at least enjoy her pleasure tonight.

“As you wish.” Grasping her under the ass with both hands, he carried her to the bed.

Lila’s every fantasy about Zhoel paled in the reality of his touch. Her body was on fire, every nerve ending alight with desire. She could barely think straight. Sex had never been this intense with Craig—or anyone else, for that matter. And she knew one thing for certain: she felt something more between her and Zhoel, something powerful. Her brain wanted to deny it, but the rest of her body seemed to think otherwise.

Zhoel lowered her onto the mattress and stood there a moment, looking down at her with eyes dark as midnight. He growled low in his throat, sending shivers down her spine before reaching out and tearing her nightgown down the front. Holy hell, she’d always dreamed of having a man rip her clothes off. His gaze lingered over her breasts like a caress, then settled on her pussy. He looked like a predator preparing to consume his prey, and a gush of moisture coated her thighs.

Never taking his gaze from her sex, he reached for his fly, flicking it open to expose a thick blue shaft with rows of nodules along its length. Her breath caught. Alien peen looked a lot like her vibrator.

His pants slid down his hips, and he stepped free, pushing a knee between her legs to part her thighs. Planting a hand to either side of her hips, he lowered his head and rubbed a rough cheek up the inside of her soft flesh until his breath fanned hotly across her sex.

She flexed her hips, yearning for his touch, but he only inhaled deeply before moving to the other thigh. This time he skimmed his lips over her skin, tongue flicking out to leave cooling trails of moisture along the way. He stopped just shy of her pussy, sucking and licking ever so slowly toward her center.

Lila squirmed, fingers tangled in his hair as she urged him on. It was as if he knew exactly what she needed, exactly how to touch her to elicit the most intense pleasure. She could feel his desire, his need for her, as acutely as her own. It was overwhelming, all-consuming, and she never wanted it to end.

His mouth reached her pussy, licking, sucking, probing. His tongue swept along her cleft, circling her clit until she thought she’d come undone, but he stopped just short of giving her release.

“Zhoel, please,” she begged, clamping her thighs against his cheeks.

He chuckled, and his hands pressed her legs apart, lifting her knees so he could delve deeper. His tongue penetrated her, deeper and fuller than any human tongue ought to be, while a thumb circled her clit. He stretched and filled her until she cried out, bucking up to take it, shudders of pleasure coursing through her body. And yet, as the wave subsided, it wasn’t enough. She wanted all of him.

Grabbing his hair, she tugged him toward her. “Come to me now, Zhoel.”

Prowling up her body, he paused only to suck each nipple in turn before claiming her mouth with his. He pressed his hips to hers, the bumps on his shaft sliding over her clit. He pumped a few times, rubbing her swollen nub until she wrapped her legs around him, flexing up with unspoken need. Pulling back, he entered her in one slick thrust, sending exquisite pleasure through her.

She cried out, and he paused, breath heaving and body trembling as he let her adjust to his girth. “Don’t stop,” she whimpered.

He cupped her face, looking down into her eyes as he began to pump in and out, slowly picking up speed. She wasn’t sure which was more intense, his gaze or his purposeful strokes. Under her fingers, the muscles of his back rippled and flexed as he thrust until her eyes fluttered closed, heart feeling like it was going to burst.

He slammed home again and again, mouth on hers, one hand gripping the back of her neck. Leaning close to her ear, he growled, “You’re mine, Lila.”

His words made her orgasm hit her like a freight train. Her back arched, her body convulsed, her inner muscles clamping down as waves of pleasure washed over her. She cried out his name, her voice muffled by his kisses as he rode her through the ecstasy. As her spasms subsided, Zhoel shuddered and groaned, his cock jerking inside her.

Lila gulped for air, unsure where her sweat-slicked skin ended and his began.

Finally, Zhoel lifted himself and rolled to one side. As his cock left her, warm fluid dribbled between her thighs and sudden alarm spiked in her chest. She turned to look at him. “We didn’t use protection.”

He stared up at the ceiling and shook his head. “There’s no worry. I didn’t claim you.”

“Claim me?”

“My Icky’ee still insists you’re my perfect mate,” he said. “But if you don’t feel it, too, I won’t claim you.”

She frowned. “Zhoel, we’ve only known each other a day. How can you possibly think I’m your... mate?”

He sighed and turned to look at her. “I know it seems sudden. But Kirenai connections aren’t like human ones. When we find our mate, it hits us deep and fast. Our Iki’i knows. I can’t explain it any better than that.” He clenched his fists, as if resisting the urge to pull her against him. “I just... I never conceived of finding a mate. I have a… flaw. I lost my whole family because of it.”

Shocked, Lila sat up. “They died?”

Zhoel took a deep breath and pulled the blanket up to cover them. “No, I’m being melodramatic. I should say estranged. Do you remember I mentioned my parents own a chain of luxury hotels?”

She nodded.

“My family... they had high expectations, especially my father. He tasked me with brokering a sale of a hotel in the Ariff nebula to the Volran Corporation. Their CEO was a fogarian woman?—”

Lila’s brows furrowed slightly. “Fogarian? What’s that?”

“Humanoid, but with ochre skin and clawed fingers,” he replied.

She thought she’d seen aliens like that on a documentary, so she encouraged him to continue. “What happened?”

“I’ve struggled with interpreting my empathic senses all my life, and thought I sensed cunning and desperation from the CEO. I didn’t want to look like a pushover on my first deal, so I pressed harder than I should’ve. In reality, she was cautious and felt disrespected. She walked away from the deal, and worse, from all future dealings with our company.” Zhoel’s voice roughened. “We lost millions. My father was furious and said I was a disgrace to the family name. That I was too weak to be a Kirenai. He passed control of the company to my brother. I haven’t spoken to any of them since.”

Lila reached out and took his hand. “It sounds like he should’ve been furious with that CEO, not you.” She thought of her own mother and scowled. “God, why do parents have to be so critical?”

Zhoel shrugged. “I’ve learned to be okay. I left home to travel, and that led me to you. I know you don’t feel the same way I do, but I’m grateful to have found you.”

She searched his eyes for any ounce of doubt, but found none. He really believes I’m his mate . And she couldn’t deny the strong connection she felt with him, both physical and emotional. Hardly able to believe what she was about to say, she squeezed his hand. “I’m not saying I’m your mate, but... I think our connection is real.”

A smile like a sunbeam spread across Zhoel’s face, and he cupped her cheek, stroking his thumb across her lips. “Maybe we should try to verify it again.”