Chapter 11

: Andi

A ndrew?

Why the heck would he call me that?

“It’s Andi. As in Andrea.”

“Whatever you say, Andrew.” With that, Brandon Nix walks away.

How dare he? I mean, I wasn’t the most pleasant with him either, but still. Andrew? Me likening him to a badger was appropriate. He was certainly making animalistic noises for no apparent reason.

I wonder if he plays soccer because he doesn’t have opposable thumbs to otherwise throw and catch a ball. It would explain a lot.

I cannot believe my luck to be on this doomed flight with the very man who may be responsible for putting my career in jeopardy. What did I ever do to deserve this?

And why does this man get a rise out of me? I don’t normally let my feelings make their way to the surface. I’ve never wanted to burden my family with my emotions, since they had so much to deal with, with my brother. That skill has served me well as a referee. I can’t afford to let my feelings show in my line of work. But now that there’s no audience, I didn’t think twice about letting that oaf know what I thought of him.

No poker face here.

I step up to the counter to ask for an estimated timeframe to landing in Denver. The harried clerk types away on the keyboard. “I’m afraid it might be a while. Apparently, a tornado touched down outside of metro Denver, and Denver International was impacted. They’re closed to flights for the moment.”

“A tornado? In Denver? I thought it was next to impossible because of the mountains.” I shake my head. That can’t be right.

She shrugs. “It happens more than you’d think. I mean, what are the odds?”

There’s that question again.

The pang hits my stomach with such a visceral force that it’s all I can do not to double over. What are the odds? And what if it touched down by my parents’ home? It’s not like Benj can run to the basement.

My fingers fumble my phone as I pull it out of my sweatpants pocket. They don’t seem to be working, and my phone falls to the floor. I squat to pick it up, but there’s a hand on it already.

“I’d expect you to have more coordination than to drop your phone, Andrew.”

“Andi.”

“Here ya go, Andrew,” Brandon Nix says, handing me my phone back. I snatch it out of his hands and turn around, cradling it as Sméagol did with his precious in Lord of the Rings .

Me: Are you okay?

Benj: Fine, why?

My body sags with relief.

Me: Tornado in Denver?

Benj: Really? Can’t believe I missed it

Me: How did you miss it?

Benj: I’m in Albuquerque

Albuquerque? What the hell is he doing there?

Me: What are you doing there? How did you get there?

Benj: I’m road-tripping

Wait? What is going on? I feel like I’m in a fever dream or something. Maybe that’s what all this is! Maybe I’m really asleep on the plane which is still in the air and Brandon Nix wasn’t even on the plane.

Why was he there? I’m not sure if I’m more disturbed by running into him like this or the thought that I’m dreaming about him. A shudder runs through my body.

Me: How are you road tripping?

Benj: I’m hitchhiking. Is it still hiking if you can’t walk? Hitchrolling? I’ve only run into one possible serial killer so far. My goal is 3.

He thinks he’s hilarious.

Me: No seriously

Benj: I am serious. Don’t worry, I’d just roll away. My battery is long lasting, so I can keep going even when they get tired.

Me: You’re not funny

Benj: Of course I am. What’s up with you? How are you spending your downtime, other than working and watching Global Games because you are the job?

Should I tell him? I don’t want to make him feel bad. But also, why didn’t he say anything to me about going?

Me: I thought I’d come and see you, but my plane almost crashed because of the storm and now you’re not there. I can’t believe neither you nor Mom nor Dad told me you guys would be away

There’s a moment before his response comes in.

Benj: Don’t go ballistic

His words have me immediately ready to go ballistic.

Me: Do I ever?

Benj: Not outwardly, but you internally freak out

See? My brother really does know me the best.

Me: I’m waiting and totally not freaking out at all

Benj: That means you are

Damn it. I hate it that my brother is always right.

Benj: I’m with my girlfriend. Before you lose your shit, we’ve been talking for about 2 years now. She’s come to visit multiple times. We planned this trip out to see as much of the country as we can. I have a bucket list you know and let’s be real: I don’t have all the time in the world. We have an accessible van and we’re seeing the nation. I was going to tell you when we head east, but I know you’re busy. I was going to surprise you.

I have to sit down to digest this news. I want to be happy for my brother. I should be happy for him. This is a very normal thing for a thirty-something to do.

But he’s not on a normal trajectory.

I’m not trying to be ableist or mean. He’s already outlived the grim lifespan he was originally expected to have. There’ve been some new therapies that have slowed the progress of his disease. He’s the first generation with his condition to live this long. I know this, and I agree that he should do as much as he can.

But have they thought through the logistics? What if something happens to his wheelchair? What if the hotels aren’t accessible? Who’s transferring him? Is it his girlfriend? Is she doing his toileting and feeding too? Benj doesn’t have much strength, and his joints are pretty contracted. Feeding, bathing, dressing—oh my God, has she seen him naked? She must have.

But any girlfriend would. That’s normal. I mean, I don’t think Benj spent a lot of time thinking about me getting naked with Mike when we were married, but you know it happened.

I guess I never thought about it happening for Benj. I’m happy that it has but ... why would he keep this from me?

He’s supposed to be my person. The person I tell everything to. Why doesn’t he feel the same way about me? I guess I always figured he didn’t have much to say because he didn’t have much going on. I didn’t pry because I didn’t want him to feel isolated.

Except now that’s how I feel.

I always thought Benj and I were a team. Even if I wasn’t there physically, I texted him daily. Multiple times a day.

Even now, he didn’t tell me her name.

He doesn’t want me to know.

I have never felt so alone as I do right this second.

“Why the long face, Andrew?”

Of course, the bane of my existence is back, as if today could not get worse.

“Leave me alone,” I mutter.

“What? What’s that? I couldn’t hear you.” He cups his hand to his ear. I am not in the mood for him. When I don’t respond, he plops down in the chair next to me. Swell.

I continue to ignore him. I’ve got too much on my mind to waste energy on him. I can’t believe Benj isn’t in Colorado. In one way, I’m relieved I don’t have to worry about him making it through a random tornado. That’s certainly one contingency plan we never practiced.

Then it dawns on me that even if Benj is safe, it doesn’t mean my parents are. I sit up quickly, frantically trying to FaceTime them. My mom answers after what feels like forever.

Unless she has some green screen background—which is way beyond her technological level—they’re not in Colorado either. “Um ... where are you?”

“We’re in Aruba! Benjamin bought us this trip. It’s a three-week Caribbean cruise. He said we deserved to get away while he was traveling.”

“Yeah, about that, Mom—”

“Oh, don’t start, Andi. Benjamin said he’d tell you when the timing was right. He was afraid you’d get all—well, you know how you get.”

There is no way to take this that isn’t insulting. But, since I’m my own worst critic, I have about a million things running through my brain that this could mean. I’m gonna need some clarification.

“And what do you mean by that?”

“Andi, you tend to be overprotective. A little too much. You’d get worried and try to fix problems that aren’t yours. Samantha and Benjamin are quite capable of handling this trip on their own.”

I don’t say anything. I certainly don’t tell Mom she hit it right on the nose about my reaction. “So, it’s probably not a great time for me to visit you in Colorado then.”

As I say this, the loudspeaker blares that there will be information about my flight in a few minutes. I see the look on Mom’s face. “Were you going to come out and see us soon? We’ll be back next week.”

I have a game in Birmingham next week. I send them my schedule regularly, but Benj is the only one who ever reads it. “I’ll have to check and see. Maybe soon.”

“Where are you now?”

For the first time since we had this emergency landing, I’m relieved. I don’t have to lie to her. “Wisconsin.”

“Okay, well safe travels. Talk to you soon. Hugs and kisses.” She air-kisses and then hangs up.

Well, this is just great.